Advertise on podcast: Ross O'Carroll-Kelly sponsors by The Irish Times

Podcast episodes

Check latest episodes from Ross O'Carroll-Kelly podcast

‘Sorcha, I don’t need ChatGPT to tell me how to talk to my daughter and the girl she’s seeing’

2026/04/17

Sorcha asks me how I’m feeling and I tell her I’m in scintillating form – especially after the win over Sale yesterday. I’m half-thinking of doing my joke about having a semi to look forward to – but then I think better of it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Potatoes au gratin? My old dear used to say they’re for people with money but no class’

2026/04/10

“Come in,” she goes. This is Bernie I’m quoting – word for word, by the way – as in, like, Bernie the mother of Claire from, like, Bray of all places? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We’re driving through Donnybrook and Sorcha shouts ‘Stop!’

2026/04/03

“Stop!” Sorcha goes. Yeah, no, we’re driving through Donnybrook at the time. I generally slow down anyway as we’re passing the spot where Kielys once stood, just to make the sign of the cross on myself. Except Sorcha is looking past me at the other side of the road? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Ross,’ Sorcha goes, ‘we’re not going to Dubai. We cancelled because of the war.’ I’m there, ‘What war?’ and I genuinely mean it

2026/03/27

The airport is absolutely rammers and I’m in – it has to be said – scintillating form, so much so that Sorcha actually remorks on it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘We’re losing, like, 32-0. The Blackrock first years are taking us aport’

2026/03/20

I can’t believe it. I can’t believe this is actually happening? Yeah, no, you always try to think about worst case scenarios in your head – just so you have a plan in case something goes wrong – but this is beyond my, literally, worst nightmares. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I’m so full of myself this morning that I’m actually making myself sick’

2026/03/13

This is me in my – yeah, no – absolute happy place. Castlerock College jersey with the collar popped. Rugby Tactics Book under my orm. The match against Blackrock College is just four days away and I have a plan to beat them. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘There you go with the school rivalry thing again. You need to move on’

2026/03/06

So it’s, like, 11 o’clock on Sunday morning and I’m hord at work – albeit still in bed – making notes in my famous Rugby Tactics Book. Sorcha walks into the room and goes, “Get dressed, Ross. We’re going out for lunch.” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘The woman is as C as M – as my old dear used to say. Common as muck’

2026/02/27

“Kicker!” the old man has the actual nerve to go. “To what do I owe this pleasant surprise?” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘How embarrassing is it for me to have three kids who are absolutely focking useless at rugby?’

2026/02/20

Sorcha says this is the worst thing I’ve ever done. And it’s far from it. I could give her a list of 50 things, except I doubt if it would help my cause. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The words every south Dublin rugby parent dreads: ‘Dad, I want to join the drama society’

2026/02/13

There’s no sugar-coating this one. We’ve been taken to the literally cleaners today. Yeah, no, beaten 45-10 by – and there’s easy way of saying this – Wesley College, the same Wesley College who haven’t won a Leinster Schools Senior Cup since the world was in pretty much black and white. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I’ve never said a word about Bray that wasn’t 100% warranted’

2026/02/06

I’m like, “A what?” And Honor goes, “A double date. It’s cute.” I’m there, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Claire from Bray of all places–” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘We’re getting rid of the cor. Right focking now’

2026/01/30

Joy Felton – yeah, no, one of our neighbours – is standing at the front gates as I swing the cor into the driveway and she nearly ends up with the BMW logo imprinted backwards across her, I want to say, midriff? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘What’s this about my old man being on the apps?’

2026/01/23

A Prius pulls up at the next pump, just as I’m imagining what topics my pep talk would touch on, and suddenly I hear the driver say my name. She’s like, “Ross!” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Dude, you’re going to have to choose between science and rugby’

2026/01/16

So – yeah, no – I’m in the staffroom and I’m chatting to one or two teachers about the Leinster match against La Rochelle: Miss Casey, who teaches something-or-other, and Miss Nealon, who teaches, I don’t know, something else. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘There’s a Londis in Foxrock? I’d say my old dear is turning in her–’

2026/01/09

I’m packing away the last of the Christmas bits and – yeah, no – I’m throwing out the Advent calendar that someone sent me obviously as a joke. It’s a Blackrock College Advent calendar – which is the same as a regular Advent calendar, except that your daddy opens all of the doors for you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.