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It was probably the legendary Freddie Mercury who put it best... "One man. One goal. One mission. One global lockdown. One replica guitar. One work station. One spray can. ONE VISION." Er, it went something like that anyway…. The point is, without knowing it, Lord Mercury coincidentally and unwittingly predicted the future project of Mr. Steve Reekie – talented guitarist and friend of the ATBVH podcast – who undertook the building of a totally playable and highly-detailed replica of Edward Van Halen's ultra-iconic Frankenstrat guitar during the UK’s 2020 Covid lockdown. (It’s at enviously impressive times like this that the rest of us wish we hadn’t spent each lockdown combined attempting to bake the perfect loaf of banana bread.) In a podcast first! ATBVH’s first ever guest, Steve joins Steve (the other one) and Ross to discuss the step-by-step steps of how Frankenstrat’s unofficial yet just as handsome British cousin was born. PLUS! Your eyes can also watch along! By going to Steve's Instagrams @steveohhno and observing the accompanying pics and vids. But that’s not all…. ! EXPECT! Mind-blowing insight on how EVH created parts of the original axe! MARVEL! At Sherlock Holmes-levels of cigarette burn analysis! REJOICE! In hearing Steve (not that one) and fellow musician Ross converse in such impressive guitar vernacular that they sound like two doctors discussing complicated surgical procedures! And remember, dear listener! Keep on carrying on messaging us on the Twitters at @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. And if you leave us a sexy podcast review we’ll give you the shout-out equivalent of a saucy post-date peck on the cheek. (With tongues.) Cheeeeeeeers!

SUMMON THE DEVILS! AWAKEN THE DEMONS! DILUTE THE SPIRITS! WE ARE BACK! So after reading a random article about wild bears and the benefits of annual hibernation, Steve and Ross return from a refreshingly deep January to August sleep (off-grid in a bunk bed in the woods) to bring you a brand new episode of ATBVH! And as a special reward for waiting around this long, dear listener… we’ve veered off the path (yet again) and parked our current mission of documenting and reviewing Samuel Roy Hagar’s pre-VH solo output (er, yet again) to bring you a special topical review of the artist formerly known as Wolfgang Van Halen’s brand spankingly-new debut solo album ‘Mammoth WVH.’ Rumours of such a project were teased out there on the VH grapevine as we recorded our premiere episode back in 2016, so this has been a long time coming. Though not quite as long as the album, which will be an even bigger hit to those who like getting more bangers for their bucks! And how Alanis Morissettely ironic that a podcast notorious for stubbornly long episodes should arrive at one of its shortest ones. (Or ‘normal episode length’ as all the other podcasts call it.) Don’tcha think? Words will be spoken! Opinions will be given! Insights will be shared! Nonsense will be uttered! Tangents will be accessed! Personnel will be impersonated! And if you fancy having yourself perfectly preserved in audio format from now until eternity ends, then drop us a review or a message and we’ll give you the mother of all vocal shout-outs. The grandmother of all vocal shout-outs, more like. No! The great-great-GREAT-grandmother of all vocalised shout outs. THAT’S how big it will be. Message us on the Twitters at @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. And a podcast review is especially appreciated – good ones are proper lovely (and bad ones are well funny), so do keep ‘em coming! Until the next time… cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers and hand-sanitised fistpumps!

If you're in a band that exists purely because of Van Halen AND you have a longstanding podcast about the band, THEN you have your debut album coming out, what do you do?! Well, you hope the fans of the show will get stuck in and listen as Ross and Steve go through the album track by track! We're talking Ross' band Cheap Meat, and their Debut Album People Are The Worst! It's a big un! From Robert Burns history to Whitesnake guitar solos, making the old granny's in Cultercullen cry via Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics. We've got it all. And be sure to go ahead and get a copy of the album via https://cheapmeat.bandcamp.com AND HEY, DON'T FORGET.... we use a fancy telepathy app to type with our minds on the Twitters @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. So keep tweeting us tweetings and faceposting us faceposts, and we'll shout you out via spoken fireworks in our next episode. However, if you want the biggest shoutout since records began... give our podcast a review on one of the many reputable podcast outlets for an absolute ticker-tape parade of a mention. Stay safe out there, dear listeners! Wash your hands, scrub your toes and more importantly.... be excellent to each other.

Season's Tidings this Christmas Eve, dear listener! On the (day before the) first day of Chrimbus, your true loves (Santa Steve & Ross Claus) bring to you another audio issue of their (semi) annual ATBVH Holiday Special – recorded remotely from the soundproofed nest of their rock n' roll pear tree! Yep that's right, the boys are dinging and donging merrily on high once again, and using a magnifying glass pulled from one of last year's Christmas crackers to analyse the Sound and Vision wonder that is 'LIVE WITHOUT A NET'! Expect multiple swoons over EVH's legendary solo! Marvel at Michael Anthony's lucrative on-stage lemonade empire! Make merry with random Christmas movie chatter! Ponder upon irrelevant favourite festive song choices! And much and loads and tons more nonsense! Tah-Tah until the New Year, dear listener.... but in the meantime.... in the words of the big man himself.... "MERRRRY CHRISTMASSINGS TO ALL, AND TO ALL – MERRRRRRRRY CHRIIIIIIIIIIIISTMASSINGS!!!!!!" BY THE WAY! We like to type things and post them on the Twitters @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks too at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. So keep tweeting us tweetings and faceposting us faceposts and we’ll make you immediately immortal by preserving your name in a recorded shoutout that shall be preserved forevermore. But if you wish to be catapulted straight to the top of Father Christmas's 'Good' list, type our show a review on a pod-based platform like the iTunes's! Thanks and socially distant elbowfistbumps dear listeners, socially distant elbowfistbumps!

Right Now, you're listening to our Van Halen podcast. Right Now we're all thinking about Eddie. Right Now, the world is still in shock. Right Now feels appropriate to park our usual nonsense and buffoonery. Right Now we're paying tribute to the great man's life and work instead. Right Now, you're hearing Steve and Ross trying hard to juggle paying their respects and still be kind of entertaining at the same time. Right Now, Steve is probably saying "That's really sweet" far too many times. Right Now, Ross still thinks that going to Canada in 2015 to see Van Halen live was his best decision ever. Right Now, the listeners are relieved to learn that this episode is shorter than they normally are. Right Now, some people aren't totally getting this 'Right Now' reference so here's a link to the official video: http://bit.ly/RightNowMusicVideo Right Now you can message us inside the Facebooks at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen and on the Twitters @TalkinVanHalen. RiGHt nOW tHIS KeyBOARd is PLayING up AGAin. Right Now we hope you're all staying safe out there, dear listeners!

Greetings and socially distanced, fully sanitised elbow fistbumps to you dear listener! Yes, your friendly neighbourhood Van Halen podcasters are back in the digital saddle and galloping towards you with another audio issue of nonsense! Although things have been better... Steve has just tried to open a bank account at a branch that doesn't exist, and Ross is having NASA-esque levels of technical problems.... but let's not worry about any of that now! Why? Because it's the beginning of a magical (depending on your allegiance) new section of ATBVH! Move over Harry Potter... it's time for 'Sammy Hagar and the Solo Discography Section of Joy.' That's right! After completing an in-depth exploration of DLR's solo exploits, the boys are traversing a sidestep to the right (and milking the podcast for as long as they can) as they explore the Samuel 'Roy' Hagar (SRH?) post-VH body of work. Whether you like it or not! Steve and Ross begin by parting this chunky mane of corkscrew curls and climbing inside that Red Rocking mind to take the first of many future strolls down Hagar Memory Lane. Starting with – his first band – you know, the one beginning with 'M.' Hmmm.... Mongoose? Don't be silly. Monsoon? You're testing our patience now. Monterey Jack Cheese? We're warning you... MONTROSE!!!! Correct!! Yes, it's time for 'Sammy Hagar and the Montrose Rockers of Glory.' Listen in wonder as both Steve and Ross use spoken words to uncover a treasure trove of Fun Facts™ and tall tales that surround SRH's first foray into rockyroll. Expect new characters! Dilapidated scooters! Candy made from rocks! Featuring cola can-eating goats! Rancid goat milk! And other pointless goat and non-goat tangents! AND HEY, DON'T FORGET.... we use a fancy telepathy app to type with our minds on the Twitters @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. So keep tweeting us tweetings and faceposting us faceposts and we'll shout you out via spoken fireworks in our next episode. However, if you want the biggest shoutout since records began... give our podcast a review on one of the many reputable podcast outlets for an absolute ticker-tape parade of a mention. Stay safe out there dear listeners! Wash your hands, scrub your toes and more importantly.... be excellent to each other.

GREEEEEETINGS DEAR LISTENERS! Ok, ok... don’t be mad that it's been EIGHT ACTUAL MONTHS since our last pod-based broadcast... The thing is, unfortunately and until very recently, we've been trapped genie-style inside a Sammy Hagar Cabo Wabo tequila bottle. We were slurring our words so badly whilst drinking that we accidentally cast a dark spell on ourselves that sucked us inside and it took so very long to smash our way out. Sounds unbelievable eh!?! BUT the good news is that we’re out and WE’RE BACK! Now we may have returned to a global pandemic and subsequent international quarantine (we really REALLY didn't expect THAT) but we're determined to lift spirits higher than a classic VH harmony section. How? By reviewing David Lee Roth's solo 'DLR Band' album of course.... in a shiny new separately-together, remotely-recorded 'DIVER LOCKDOWN' edition! "Wa Wa Zat?" Yes you heard right, it's our lost DLR Band episode! Well, lost in that we thought we had recorded it last year... but turns out what actually happened is we met up and just talked nonsense about other stuff instead and didn't get around to recording anything. So here it is at last. Expect slam dunks! Expert track analysis! Album artwork despair! Umpteen song fatigue! New technology impressions! And SO much more! AND HEY, DON'T FORGET.... we use a fancy telepathy app to type with our minds on the Twitters @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. So keep tweeting us tweetings and faceposting us faceposts and we'll shout you out via spoken fireworks in our next episode. However, if you want the biggest shoutout since records began... give our podcast a review on one of the many reputable podcast outlets for aN ABSOLUTE ticker-tape parade of a mention. Take care out there dear listeners, wash your hands and behind your ears, but more importantly – STAY AWAY FROM EMPTY LIQUOR BOTTLES AND DEEP DARK MAGIC!

What do you get when you’ve two of the smartest minds in podcasting? Well, belated and sporadic episodes for a start (sorry again dear listener) BUT you also get hosts of a Top 60 comedy podcast in Finland (this is not a drill!) AND... um... er... um... you get an album skipped too... ! Yep we admit it, so dazzled have we been by Dave’s solo offerings that we totally missed out an album! ‘DLR Band’? Where's that gone then? We’ve looked everywhere... inside our hard drives, under the mouse mat, Ross even turned his old house upside-down (the new residents were NOT happy) but nope, it's gone.But don’t worry we’ll find it! Then go back and do the DLR band album next. Look, just think of it as us approaching Mister Roth’s solo output like Pulp Fiction – we're already at the end, and now it’s big band time, it's funky 90s, it's well... whatever's knocking about in the studio broom cupboard, on this – the final (as it stands) solo album from ‘Diamond Dave’!We talk about the infamous Sammy & DLR Tour, Dave's penchant for a platinum blonde dye, Matthew McConaughey-inspired noodling and well... all your usual ATBVH tomfoolery, bumbling and fun!Let's Diamond Dive right into Diamond Dave! PLUUUUSSS DON'T FORGET!We are semi-active typers on the Twitters @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks too at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. So keep tweeting us tweetings and faceposting us faceposts and we'll shout you out in verbal neon next time BIG TIME. However, if you want the megashoutout of ultrashououts... type the show a review on the ol' iTunes (or other podcast outlet!) for a veritable spoken ticker-tape parade. Fistbumps dear listeners, fistbumps!

As promised standard album review services have resumed, dear listener(s)! That can mean only one thing....Good Times! These are the good times! Leave your cares behind! David Lee Roth has undoubtedly been trying to do that, after getting nicked by the rozzers in New York. Why? For not washing his mouth out with soap enough! That's right folks, it's time for 'Your Filthy Little Mouth’!Aaaaaaah... Freak out! Le Freak, C'est Chic! Oi! Who's left a Kangol cap on the mixing desk? Has Tuggle started experimenting with new hats? Is Billy trying to use some sort of mind control? Is that a disco beat? Where are they coming from? Reggae? Is that a jazz cigarette? What ON EARTH is happening? Well for a start, Tuggle returns... Brookside is discussed... we get a BAD review... ramblin' Roth's on fine form... there’s a harmonica + vibrating phone mash-up... no end-Endgame spoilers via Marvel... cherry liqueur chocolate discussions... Matthew McConaughey reads some DLR lyrics... Sir Ian McKellen briefly stops by (again)... OH, and the aforementioned 1994 DLR album is discussed too... in another tangent-filled, randomly-layered episode of Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Van Halen!PLUUUUSSS DON’T FORGET!We are semi-active typers on the Twitters @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks too at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. So keep tweeting us tweetings and faceposting us faceposts and we’ll shout you out in verbal neon next time BIG TIME. However, if you want the megashoutout of ultrashououts, type the show a review on the ol’ iTunes for a veritable spoken ticker tape parade! Fistbumps dear listeners, fistbumps!

Goodness us, Dear Listener! What can we say but bestow our humblest apologies... it's been an age – an ice (cream man) age! SooOoo long in fact, that actual new VH-based news has surfaced of late and is occurring “riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight NOW.” So we’ve veered off the usual album-review highway and stopped off at the nearest cheap motel to devote an entire episode to ‘New VH/Roth/Hagar News’ – complete with impromptu jingles! Well, it had to be done... for one thing, David Lee Roth decided to make a tattoo cream (obvs) and then promote it on multiple different outlets being David Lee Roth in the only way we know he can. Does he randomly talk about Kayaking? Sure! Does he appear on stage out-of-the-blue at an electronic music festival with a Dutch fella? You bet! Do we learn anything about anything at all? Almost certainly not! But we're here, we've got a bowl of M&Ms, and we're munching deep into the world of what's currently going on with our friend and yours; Diamond Dave! And a couple of other fellas named Sammy and Eddie too.(Disclaimer for those who fear change)Normal album review service will resume next month.In the meantime, follow along with these handy links on the YouTubes that are mentioned:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaGiJ0MHvq4 - DLR on Joe Mega Cuthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkG4K8nmliQ - DLR @ Ultra MusicANNNND DON’T FORGET!We are active typers on the Twitters @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks too at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. So keep tweeting us tweetings and faceposting us faceposts and we’ll shout you out in verbal neon next time BIG TIME. However, if you want the megashoutout of ultrashououts, type the show a review on the ol’ iTunes for a veritable spoken ticker tape parade! Fistbumps dear listeners, fistbumps!

We've been making a list, checking it twice, now come and find out if you've been naughty or nice! You guessed it... it's the Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Van Halen Christmas Special!Wolfgang's roasted (ie. burnt) the chestnuts by an open fire, Michael Anthony's nipping at your nose and Eddie and Alex have eaten all the Celebrations but left all the Twix's. Typical. Never fear, festive cheer is near! Christmas Specials are the podcast equivalent of end of school term/semester. So Santa Steve's brought along his jingle jangle feet, and Ross Claus has dialled his guitar virtuosity up to 11. Why? Because in this episode we’re channelling our inner DLR and writing a David Lee Roth Christmas song on-air that the world didn't necessarily want OR necessarily deserve! Ho! Ho! Ho! MERRRRY CHRISTMAS!!DON’T FORGET!We are active typers on the Twitters @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks too at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. So keep tweeting us tweetings and faceposting us faceposts and we’ll shout you out in verbal neon next time BIG TIME. However, if you want the megashoutout of ultrashououts, type the show a review on the ol’ iTunes for a veritable spoken ticker tape parade! Fistbumps dear listeners, fistbumps!

"Bye Bye Vai...!Oi, Tuggle! Bissonette Brothers! Rocket! Get over here!" "Seems like it's only a few of us here, Dave..." "Ha! A Little Ain't Enough!""Sounds like a good name for an album in 1991, boss.""YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT!!!"Grunge, so much grunge... all over poor DLR’s spandex. So better start shooting videos in black and white to hide those pesky Seattle coffee stains, Dave. Meanwhile, Mr. Tuggle is on an Aerosmith bender and Bob Rock is getting annoyed in the booth. PLUS... Sir Ian McKellan is back from the Bard with another reciting of some of DLR’s lyrics, and Matthew Mcconaughey is telling you all about the lawn uptake that you didn't know you need! All this and more in another DLR solo adventure/dream/nightmare... it's... ‘A Little Ain't Enough’!DON’T FORGET!We are active typers on the Twitters @TalkinVanHalen and inside the Facebooks too at Facebook.com/TalkinVanHalen. So keep tweeting us tweetings and faceposting us faceposts and we’ll shout you out in verbal neon next time BIG TIME. However, if you want the megashoutout of ultrashououts, type the show a review on the ol’ iTunes for a veritable spoken ticker tape parade! Fistbumps dear listeners, fistbumps!