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We care for everyone else at our own expense. Have you ever felt let down by care? Like you don't quite get the care you need? Like there isn't enough to go around? and Like the whole self-care thing just puts more work on your plate? In this episode Claire and I explore:-her concept of "shame of care," how traditional care approaches can be damaging when they rely on authority-based methods which dismiss patients' experiences -harmful cultural experiences and trauma that can occur in various systems including families, schools, and healthcare -Claire's approach of breaking down care into six skills or practices that address both micro-level self-care and macro-level aspects of care -how early experiences with care from family and culture influence self-care patterns and the importance of honoring individual pace -the benefits and pitfalls of self-care practices, emphasizing the importance of practicing them in relationship with others rather than in isolation -societal expectations and gender roles that create unnecessary burdens, particularly for women who are conditioned to take on more responsibilities Ahh, there is actually so much here. Claire and I also invite you to share your story of care with us. This feels like a really great place to start to unpack your relationship with care. Feel free to email me at [email protected]. Please share this episode with anybody you know who is challenged by feeling under resourced. The more we realise we are not alone in feeling these ways, the more we can heal. You can watch this chat on Youtube if you prefer to see us.... Find out more Claire Stephensen Website: careweaver.com.au Instagram: @claire.stephensen Nicole Mathieson This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships. @relationship_smart_with_nicole Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There are attachment and relational impacts of loving humans on the spectrum In this episode I share: -my personal journey of living with and loving humans ont he spectrum -I explore the challenges and the flip side - the gifts that come from those challenges -I explore the benefits and positives of loving someone on the spectrum -I outline the best ways that I have found to accomodate and bring out the best in your AS loved ones Please share this episode with anybody you know who is challenged or confused by their AS relationship. The more we explore and learn, the more things make sense and feel easier. Nicole Mathieson This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships. @relationship_smart_with_nicole Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I speak to Dr Zoe Vilenica, trauma specialist and somatic practice therapist. This episode comes with a trigger warning as we will be exploring complex trauma and childhood sexual trauma. I will be asking Zoe to help us understand how trauma shows up in relationships and how it gets healed. We explore: The difference between PTSD, complex trauma and childhood sexual trauma How trauma shows up in relationshipHow trauma impacts people and how/ where it impact relationshipsThe difference between childhood sexual trauma and sexual trauma as an older personHow the overlay of relationships and attachment impacts the relational and nervous systemHow can a partner best support and respond to trauma for healingHow we heal from trauma To connect with Dr Zoe check out: Website: www.posttraumaticpeace.com Instagram: @posttraumaticpeace Nicole Mathieson This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships. @relationship_smart_with_nicole Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How Defensiveness Damages Intimacy (And What To Do Instead)Intent vs Impact in Relationships: Why Good Intentions Aren’t EnoughMost partners are not trying to hurt each other. But here’s the truth: Good intent does not cancel out harmful impact. Join me as we unpack what is going on and how best to explain, unpack and move forward from this sticky place. Nicole Mathieson This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I speak to my colleague Dr Diane Harner, neuroscientist, counsellor and business coach. Together we explore how an understanding of neuroscience can inform us to get smarter in relationships particularly in terms of the stories we tell ourselves. We explore: -how attachment experiences in childhood shape adult relationships -how attunement and reciprocity as key factors in attachment -the characteristics of anxious, avoidant, and disorganized attachment styles, highlighting how early experiences shape these patterns -how maintaining curiosity has a real benefit especially in relationships -the potential dangers of overconfidence in one's thinking. -the importance of self-awareness and metacognition in understanding and improving self-esteem -the functions of three brain networks: the Executive Network, the Default Mode Network and Salience Network -and finally Diane gives us tips on how to manage negative thought patterns To connect with Diane check out her websites For Public speaking and coaching - https://www.clevermindsconsulting.com.au/ For counselling - https://www.drdianeharner.com.au/ Nicole Mathieson This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join me and my guest Heid Louise as we discuss her book The Love Blueprint. You can find out more about Heid here, and get a copy of her book here, or on audio here. Heidi is a Brisbane based Psychotherapist who works from a holistic and trauma informed framework.  She is an experienced and qualified Psychotherapist, an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker (AMHSW), a Lvl 3 Gottman Couples therapist and a Lvl 2 (IFS) Internal Family Systems Therapist   In our chat we focused on understanding Love Blueprints which is the theme of Heidi's new book. we discuss; the various therapeutic approaches including IFS, Gottman, and Polyvagal theory to provide a comprehensive guide to understanding relationship patterns and personal developmentthe concept of the "Love Blueprint," which refers to our early experiences and how they shape our understanding of love and relationshipsthe challenges couples face when their love blueprints and coping strategies clash, highlighting the role of therapy in providing gentle guidance and support.the importance of understanding and compassion in relationshipsthe concept of triggers as flag posts for deeper healing and understanding in relationshipshow joy can be challenging for individuals due to past experiencesAnd finally, Heidi's definition of secure love which is, after all, what we all are truly craving in relationship Enjoy Nicole Mathieson This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships and has various online courses and resources to support people navigating the tricky realm of relationships. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Join my guest Helen Sheehy and I as we explore neurodiversity in the realm of relationships You can find Helen at neurodivergence.live here and you buy her book Moving Forwards, Working Backwards here too. In this episode we explore: What a strengths based approach to Neurodivergence isWhy Helen has changed the abbreviations from ADHD and ASDWhy being diagnosed can be beneficial - I share my personal experience of thisThe complexity and challenges of ADH /AS combo relationshipsWhy AS and ADH seem to attract each other in intimate relationshipsHelens' top tips for being in ND relationships Enjoy Nicole Mathieson This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Two people can go through the same event and walk away with different stories about what happened. That’s right — same event, different story. And those different interpretations can quietly shape how we feel about each other, how safe we feel in our relationships, and even how much love we’re able to express. In this episode I talk about where we go wrong and what we can do to bridge the gap of disconnect, switch focus, stop arguing about our different versions and come back into connection. In this episode we look at: There’s Truth on Both SidesNowhere Is This More Polarising Than in the BedroomMemory: Is not to be trustedThe 3 Stances That Keep Us StuckHow to Improve Your Relationship — Bridging the GapSeeing Things Differently Can Be a Strength Nicole Mathieson This podcast was created by Nicole Mathieson, a Brisbane based counsellor and couple therapist, who has a couple of podcasts and is the author of The Beauty Load, How to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. Nicole helps men, women and couples get smarter, happier and more connected in their intimate relationships. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How are you in conflict? I hear so many clients ask me how to stop being so intense in their moments of conflict and I always answer that it is a great question, but also it is the wrong question in a way. I think we need to zoom out. Listen in as I take you through my ideas for how to do this. Sign up to my live workshop on June 8th - Keeping your cool, how to naviage conflict with grace. About Nicole Nicole Mathieson is a couple therapist and relationship focussed counsellor helping people come back to themselves. Nicole teaches practical experiential skills to ceate more loving, connected and harmonious intimate relationships - with themselves and their partners. Website nicolemathieson.com/ Instagram @nicole.mathieson Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Get the course nicolemathieson.com/courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Patriarchy does not serve any of us and it most definitely has it's gnarly tendrils in our homes and our relationship dynamics. The way that women respond to the patriarchal influences in our relationships is often quite bitchy. In this episode, I talk about what I mean by the Patriarchy, what I mean by bitchy behaviour and I invite you to my new monthly catch up for 2025 - Bitch Club. To join the Bitch Club mailing list go here - nicolemathieson.com/btch-club/ To get in touch email me [email protected] About Nicole Nicole Mathieson is a couple therapist and relationship focussed counsellor helping people come back to themselves. Nicole teaches practical experiential skills to ceate more loving, connected and harmonious intimate relationships - with themselves and their partners. Website nicolemathieson.com/ Instagram @nicole.mathieson Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Get the course nicolemathieson.com/courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode I explore a bunch of pressures on female libido that I see over an over and yet are not commonly thought of as desire stoppers. I am hoping that this episode feels hopeful and gives you lots of options for healing and exploration where you otherwise may have been feeling stuck. This episode does come with the trigger warning of the mention of sexual trauma. Listen to the end for my top tips on what to do once you discover these barriers to your libido. To get in touch email me [email protected] About Nicole Nicole Mathieson is a couple therapist and relationship focussed counsellor helping people come back to themselves. Nicole teaches practical experiential skills to ceate more loving, connected and harmonious intimate relationships - with themselves and their partners. Website nicolemathieson.com/ Instagram @nicole.mathieson Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Get the course nicolemathieson.com/courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Solutions are good right? I am just trying to help. Yes, but we actually find it really frustrating when we are sharing an issue and our partner jumps straight to solutions. Why is that? What is going on here? And what do we want and need instead? Listen to this episode as we explore what is going on with not always loving solutions. About Nicole Nicole Mathieson is a couple therapist and relationship focussed counsellor helping people come back to themselves. Nicole teaches practical experiential skills to ceate more loving, connected and harmonious intimate relationships - with themselves and their partners. Website nicolemathieson.com/ Instagram @nicole.mathieson Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Get the course nicolemathieson.com/courses Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, I talk to my beautiful, soulful friend Kris Franken. So many people ask me how they can find themselves, be true to themselves and still be in relationship. It can be tricky to navigate. We fear that if we change and become more true to ourselves that we will lose our partner. We fear that authenticity and integrity means loss of connection. Well, today I called in Kris to talk to us about this because Kris, in my opinion is the epitomy of being true to herself, of being wildly, truly authentic, and she manages all this within her 20+year relationship. Kris shared her integrity and authenticiy with me on the Beauty Load podcast where we talk about our own true beauty. Here is the link: shows.acast.com/the-beauty-load/episodes/10-true-beauty-beyond-the-illusion-with-kris-franken About Kris My guest on this episode is my friend, author, mentor, healer and way shower, Kris Franken. Kris is a spiritual teacher who has a background in psychology as well as in the magazine publishing world and is the author of 2 books and creator of multiple oracle card sets. One of the reasons that I really wanted to share her with you and get her wisdom into the Beauty Load is that Kris is having a deep love affair with mother earth – her take on beauty comes from a place of being deeply deeply connected in the experience of living in her body as a spiritual being in amongst nature and the miracle of life. Where to find Kris Check Kris out on Instagram @kris_franken Kris has her second book,Wild hearted purpose which is out now. All details are at: www.krisfranken.com/wildheartedpurpose/  And here is her website: krisfranken.com About Nicole Nicole Mathieson has impacted the lives of thousands of women through her writing, speaking, podcasts and work as a counsellor. In the therapy room, Nicole helps Individuals and couples to find a deeper and more stable connection to themselves as a foundation for their relationship with life and each other. Nicole is passionate about helping people in practical ways to feel safe and more conencted within their relationships. Website nicolemathieson.com/ Instagram @nicole.mathieson Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Get the course nicole-mathieson.thinkific.com/courses/Insecurity-to-body-confidence Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Does your partner have sex tantrums? How does it make you feel? How do they feel? What is going on and how do you get out of the downward spiral of need, guilt, obligation, and then less desire? Listen in as we unpack this very common dynamic, try not to generalise too much, and as I give you a few pointers to get back to sex without the guilt, anxiety and pressure. For more exploration on sex tantrums check out Emily Nagoski's book Come As You Are. Check out my other podcast The Beauty Load, how to feel good enough in your body here - shows.acast.com/the-beauty-load Website nicolemathieson.com/ Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyload Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Intimacy (and I am not talking about sex), in my opinion is one of the hardest things in the whole world, but also, something that gives us the deepest most heart fulfilling satisfaction. Gah, what a dilemma! It would be so much easier if we could just get all operational and robotic and not have to have those hard conversations, get vulnerable and honest with ourselves and then share it with another....we could just get on with it. But alas, as humans, we are drawn back in to the fray. To do it best, intimacy starts within with an intimate relationship with ourselves. So what does that look like? In this episode I share my very messy intimate journey that led me to be an intimacy and relationship coach and share with you what getting intimate entails. This episode was inspired by an interview on @drkirstyseward 's podcast. You can listen to that here - podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dr-kirsty-seward/id1617397162 Check out my other podcast The Beauty Load, how to feel good enough in your body here - shows.acast.com/the-beauty-load Website nicolemathieson.com/ Instagram @nicole.mathieson @the.beautyload Buy the book nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.