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I was reading a devotional that contained the following statement: "The fruit of the Spirit isn't produced through striving; it grows through surrender." Another verse says it this way; "Cease Striving and know that I am God." To cease striving and to surrender maybe the antithesis of what women of color have been instructed to do because for many, 'all our lives, we've had to fight." That posture of fighting maybe so prevalent that the concept of surrender, waving the white flag, is viewed as a weakness. However, whom we surrender too makes all the difference. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

I was talking to someone who questioned her value and worth because of the past trauma and present microaggressions she experienced. Some of us may struggle with life scripts written by others that may haunt and hinder us becoming our authentic selves. Cole Arthur Riley states, "Remind us that our dignity does not wane or bud in relations to anyone's belief in it, including our own. Let us rest with the knowledge that we have nothing to prove; our dignity, perpetual as it is divine. We will not shrink. We expand...For we too contain the divine." Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

I've often said that this podcast is not a substitute for therapy and I would like to encourage us to consider this as an option to improve our overall health. Some people may view receiving help as a weakness but I consider it as wisdom. We are not meant to be lone rangers in this world but oftentimes we move that way as a form of protection which eventually becomes imprisonment. Therapy could be a safe and conducive space for really working on your well-being. Some have not had positive therapeutic experiences, but I encourage you not to give up on finding that person who comes alongside you to assist you in your journey of healing and restoration. You so deserve it. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

Congresswoman Maxine Waters popularize this saying several years ago, "Reclaiming my time" and many Black women echoed that statement as a resounding mantra to protect their time and energy. The current conditions of our nation warrant a reminder to restate this mantra not only in word but also in deed. We do that by practicing the art of saying no and saying yes to ourselves. I encourage Black women to make themselves a priority in their own lives and practice balance. It's difficult due to an innate unction to save and be all things to others, but it's possible and needed for self-preservation and thriving. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Work and productivity have been promoted as the ultimate indicators of success and achievement. At times we internalize our worth and value are tied to our productivity and work. So as long as we can produce, we're worthy and we're good enough to belong. However, there's more to you than your work, your title, and your position. Affirmation of your authentic identity anchors you in your place work because you "own your voice and your career." I encourage you to Remember WHO you are not what's told ABOUT you. "Focus on stepping into your power, take calculated risks, build a life and career you don't need to escape from." Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Currently, according to several sources, "up to 600,000 to 700,000 Black women have been pushed out or left without work" due to  racial-gendered targeted and concerted efforts by principalities and rulers of darkness. Many are familiar with interpersonal racism and microaggressions, but systemic and structural racism is more insidious and invisible. So insidious, that many Black women are solely blaming themselves for their hardships which has induced shame, guilt, and a loss of dignity. Black women, there's a system's failure in this nation. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

"This joy that I have, the world didn't give and the world can't take it away." If we're honest, at times it does seem like life and this world can extract our joy due to the targeted attacks, microaggressions, and cruelty. However, joy is not solely based on external circumstances, it's an internal well of resourcing that resides in our soul and spirit. Joy is defined as "an abiding, deep-seated state of peace and inner stability rooted in the divine." Joy is also a fruit of the spirit that is nurtured by grace and sustained by an eternal hope in the divine presence and active involvement of Emmanuel (God with Us). Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Black women, do you have emotional safe spaces? Secondly, do you use those emotional safe spaces? An emotional safe space is where we can show up as our authentic selves with our vulnerabilities and limitations and receive nurture, care, love, and validation. Such spaces provide healing where we bask in visibility, are encouraged to take off the masks, speak our voice, and reframe from shrinking and code switching. To be honest, such spaces are few and far between for Black women which is why we must cultivate our own spaces where we no longer remain silent about our mental health. Speak up! Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

This is for us! Black women need rest too. Contrary to what culture may negatively believe about Black women, we are human and deserve, rest, care, love, and nurture. The past couple of years have intensified the disenfranchisement of Black women in areas of employment, opportunities, and even in the church. It is nothing new for Black women, but the intensity is more insidious, blatant, and unapologetic, from the perpetuation of negative stereotypes to the stripping of our dignity. Black women may seem to have shields of power to withstand the attacks, but do we not bleed when we are pricked. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Emotional wellness is a part of our holistic health. Many are very aware of their physical health, but may take for granted other aspects of their health. Emotional wellness is a foundational aspect of how we function and show up in the world, our communities, and our families. However, we may often neglect our emotional health because it is not as visible as other aspects of our health. Remember, our emotional health is just as important as other aspects of our health. Check yourself! Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com.

"Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be" is a powerful quote that may resonate with many of us during these tumultuous times. As I sat listening to the opening speeches of the Obama Presidential library, I sat as one who was a receiving a much needed cool drink of water. Sometimes you don't know how much you miss or need something until it shows up and then you're like awww that's it! Inspire comes from the "Latin inspirare, which literally means "to breathe into." In this parched land, may we desire to be inspired and to inspire others--it's a lifeline. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

June is men's health and mental health awareness month with the theme, "It's not weak to speak". Emotional wellness is defined as "the ability to successfully handle life's stresses and adapt to change and difficult times." It's unfortunate that when discussing men's health, we often neglect to mention or include emotional wellness. Our mere humanity includes assessing our emotional health. NIH provides an emotional wellness checklist that may be beneficial for men to improve their mental health. Let's talk about emotional resilience. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

June is men's health and mental health awareness month to increase the normalization of discussing and addressing stigma regarding men's health and mental health. "According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, men are almost four times more likely to die by suicide than women, and more than 6 million men in the U.S. experience symptoms of depression every year", yet many do not admit or disclose such symptoms. They opt to suffer in silence which is why it has become the "silent crisis." Let's help the men in our lives embrace, "it's not weak to speak." Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

Although Mental Health Awareness Month is ending, please make sure to continue prioritizing your mental health. Investing in the lives of others is important, but that does not mean neglecting your life. Remember, "there's no health without mental health" and one way to invest in your life is to remember the circle of concern vs. the circle of control. Radically accepting that somethings are out of your control and to invest energy within your sphere of influence may lead to a more fulfilling life. Let's talk about it. www.talkingwithdrtoy.com

May is Mental Health Awareness Month! "Mental health is a state of mental well-being that enables people to cope with the stresses of life, realize their abilities, learn and work well, and contribute to their communities." "There is no health without mental health." However, that message doesn't always seem to resonate due to the negative stereotypes and misconceptions about mental health. Mental health stigma prevents people from receiving the help they really need because they attribute mental health issues as a weakness, when it is simply apart of being human and living this human experience. Let's talk about it! www.talkingwithdrtoy.com