Advertise on podcast: Capricorn – Stoner Astrological Horoscope

Stoner Capricorn, as the temperature heats up and Summer finally gets into full swing, your cannabis companions are going to need you to keep your cool. The month ahead promises to bring you and your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts on one wild ride. But, amidst the epic highs and unavoidable lows, you will be called upon to be a grounding, peaceful presence. Throughout the month, new acquaintances and age-old canna-buddies alike will be drawn to your kindness and dank buds. Stoner Capricorn, whether they are in need of a few encouraging words of wisdom to help them get through a tough time, or they simply want to share a celebratory bowl when they are on the come up; your partners-in-chronic know that they can count on your door to be open and your stash jars to be full of the frostiest nugs. But, my stoner Sea-Goat, while your place might be a pitstop for the other signs in the stoner Zodiac to take a break and a bong rip, don’t forget that you have your own adventuring to do. You have your own trails to blaze! In order to maintain momentum throughout all of June, it will be a good idea to stick to Hybrid strains for the month. You want to be flying high enough to soak up the Sun’s stimulating rays, but still grounded enough to channel the energy into forward, positive progress. Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a smokey summer vacation, pack your bags stoner Capricorn!  Grab the ganja and hit the open road. As long as you are smoking good green and are traveling with good people, where you go doesn’t matter.

Stoner Capricorn, you can expect your May to be filled with peaceful days of puffing your favorite buds with your favorite people. While the cosmos does not have any cataclysmic events in store for you this month, it is the overflow from the dramatics of the smoke circle that you will have to watch out for. Other star signs in the stoner Zodiac may find themselves a little more on edge as some planets cast shadows of illusion, and create tensions where normally there wouldn’t be. Stoner Capricorn, while you may not be able to avoid encountering those who are having a rougher month than you, you can control how much you are affected by their negative vibrations. My stoner Sea-Goat, while shying away, and avoiding all social interactions is one way to protect your own spritely spirits from being brought down, it is not the most advisable. The best way to keep your own mood elevated, and your optimistic attitude flying high is by sticking to a consistent, smoke-filled regiment of selfcare. Afterall, a little medicated meditation can work wonders.  Don’t be afraid to dip out to sneak-a-toke if you are feeling a little overwhelmed by the stuff happening to your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts. Afterall, with everything going on in their own orbit, they may not even notice you left. Stoner Capricorn, I am not saying you have to pass on all the social smoke sessions. But it may be a good idea to keep your smoke circle limited to invite only.  There are few situations when tensions flare between best buds that the peace pipe can’t help calm. But a bunch of stoney strangers is a different story. So my indulgent Sea-Goat, as long as you know the people you’re sharing your pipe with, you will spend the month of May in good company:  Making great memories smoking the finest greens.

Stoner Capricorn of all the stoner Zodiac, you’ve had one of the most clouded and challenging beginnings to your year. I say ‘beginning’, but you are well aware that it’s been three rough and wild months of doing your best to navigate your way through the cosmic chaos. Well, there is finally some good news my ambitious stoner Sea-Goat. Regardless of whether or not it’s written in the stars, you will be surrounded by more than just the sweet scent of sinsemilla.  This month, change is in the air! And even better, the form this change takes will be manifested by you.  You are in control! Be sure to toke before you take action stoner Capricorn. Spend the first days of April in deep thought with some healing, yet heady herbs. But be mindful that these earliest smoke sessions should be all about meaningful meditation.  The goal of this time spent with cannabis is about cultivating clarity of third-eye sight, and clearing the mind of distraction. You don’t want to spend hours spaced out, lost in thought, only to find yourself more clouded than when you started. Don’t worry stoner Capricorn, you won’t have to face this transition from chaos to tranquility all by yourself. With the New Moon happening on the dawn of the month, you will have a tangible turning point to mark the end of the tumultuous months.  There is a clear celestial line to begin your new journey along a more positive path. Stoner Capricorn this hard-earned peace is something to commemorate. By the end of the month your smoke sessions will turn away from contemplation, and take on a more celebratory tone. Invite your partners-in-chronic to share in your good fortune and good ganja; because from here on out stoner Capricorn, life is only going to be top shelf for you!

It's over stoner Capricorn!  All the swag analogies and bunk bud predictions of continued struggles are done!  March represents a rebirth for the stoner Sea-Goat.  Now, you can truly start to climb the cliffs of progress. Early in the month around the time of the New Moon on the 2nd, toke time with your sacred herbal guide.  Sink deep into a medicated meditative state.  Use this solo adventure with cannabis as a sort of internal house cleaning.  Flush out the struggles of the past, and open the pathways for progress in the future. Use this solo deep dive with the sacred herb as a way to set the stage for positivity in March.  The cosmic influence is changing.  Prepare yourself for brighter days so that when the transition occurs, you will be eager to seize the day instead of confused by the circumstances. With the deep cleansing solo dive out of the way, stock the stash jars with light and airy Sativa cannabis strains.  The cannabis experience for the remainder of the month should invoke creativity and flexibility more so than a contemplative medicated state.  The flexibility found within a light regiment with the sacred herb will allow balance within this positive transition. Cleanse the spirit.  Heal the body.  Reset the mind.  Everything that follows will be connected to your true internal drives.  Everything will be possible once again stoner Capricorn.

Stoner Capricorn, if 2021 was a bag of buds, it would have been shwag at best. And while you may have thought that the New Year was going to be more like top shelf, grade-A green, you seem to still find yourself picking through the stems and seeds of life. But what do you do when you aren’t able to get ahold of better-quality buds? You upgrade your smoking utensils, of course! And if you want to make the most of the bag you’re dealt this month, then this is exactly the approach you will need to take.  Unfortunately, stoner Capricorn, I can’t say that February will be any more predictable or promising. But I can say that how you approach the highs and lows during this period, and the tools you employ to rise above the uncertain times ahead, IS, within your control. And, although you can’t always change the situation you're in, you can work to change your perspective. The good news is my chronic-loving Capricorn, you do not have to undertake these mind-expanding exercises on your own. Fortunately, the sacred herb is more than just a magical plant that makes you giggle or gives you the munchies. Its healing vapors will also help you to introspect, reflect, and recalibrate how you respond to the challenges you face. Stoner Capricorn, when the roads ahead are hazy and it’s hard to see, sometimes you just need to get to an elevated vantage point. So, this month, allow the sacred herb to lift your spirits and line of sight above and out of the fray. Just remember to keep your expectations realistic stoner Capricorn. Expecting that the sky will be the limit may not be the most practical during this time, but it’s always a good idea to aim a little higher!

For most signs in the stoner Zodiac, New Year’s festivities mark the end of the celebratory holiday season. But for the stoner Capricorn, the party is just getting started! This month, it’s time to light up, breathe in the soothing vapors of the sacred herb, and let go of your inhibitions with every exhalation.  You are still the same hardworking, ambitious, and persistent ganja-loving Sea-Goat, but January will be a season when you have full license to embrace and explore your more lighthearted side.  Doing your job well, and advancing in your career, is still an important investment; but you will see the most notable growth in the spiritual and social spheres of life. Take full advantage this month of any opportunity that arises for you to puff and philosophize with your partners-in-chronic.  Don’t pass on the chance to spend time talking and toking with your fellow terrestrial astronauts. Afterall, what better way to let loose at the end of a busy day than to relax and match bowls with your best buds. Stoner Capricorn, you shouldn’t be surprised when you see your smoke circle expand in the second Winter month. In fact, your fun-loving, free spirit approach to life right now will be hard to resist!  The only thing you have to worry about is that your pieces are clean, and your stash jars are kept full.  When you can, plan ahead and put some thought into your social smoke sessions. Perhaps a POT-luck is in order?  Everyone can bring their favorite stoney snack and sacred strain.  By the end of the ganja-gathering, everything should be consumed. Or, you can make a day of it by indulging in some extra strength edibles, and embarking on a 420 movie marathon. Regardless of what weather Winter might bring, you can breathe easy with the knowledge that the cosmos has nothing but positive vibes and good times in store for you. But it will be up to you to keep the ganja burning and party grooving stoner Capricorn.

Stoner Capricorn, what is your mission on this terrestrial plane?  In this existence hurtling through space on our spaceship Earth.  It’s a heavy question, but one worth considering once in a while. I have a friend and mentor who contemplates ‘service to self’ and ‘service to others’ as modes of personal action.  This month, the universe will be sending cosmic vibes of ‘service to self’ your way in support of personal endeavors. It’s ok my trusted Sea-Goat.  It’s great to get a little helping hand from universal support once in a while.  But it is equally important to keep a cool head when the spotlight is on you. Stoner Capricorn ‘Service to self’ should not be interpreted as selfish.  But it does mean you might get caught up in your own head with possibilities of grandiose internalization.  Projects could become passionate endeavors as the rest of the world slips away from your concern. The key to December will be to harness the cosmic support without losing your head.  Embrace it, but don’t get lost in the process. Think of your cannabis consumption prescription the same way this month.  Embrace your own personal desire and interest in the sacred herb.  Smoke when you want, and how you want stoner Capricorn. However, there is one task you must set aside to keep yourself in check from losing attachment to your smoke circle and the terrestrial world around you. The final Full Moon of the year is on the 18th.  Toke time to self around this date with a deep meditative solo smoke session with the sacred herb.  Just you, a bowl of the good green, in a comfortable place of solitude. Use this deep dive with your cannabis copilot to fly high above the terrestrial plane.  See yourself, and your surroundings from a 50,000 foot view.  Sometimes the best way to stay grounded is to fly high above to gain perspective.  Our sacred herbal assistant is the perfect tool to bring clarity to life. As the year comes to a close, this month of personal commitment will help strengthen internal bonds, and send you into 2022 ready for new challenges and perhaps continued ‘service to others’. Tweet

Stoner Capricorn you are in the middle of a confluence of celestial events this November.  The word of the month is satellitium:  A group of several planets in a sign.  The Sun, Mars, and Mercury will all be visiting the Capricorn sign this month. This triumvirate of celestial bodies will bring with them a deep connection to your fellow terrestrial astronauts.  Community, fellowship, and family will be the focus of the final Fall month. Toke time early in the month to make sure your stoner tool kit is up-to-date with shareable instruments of cannabis consumption. I do not have a particular cannabis prescription for November my Sea-Goat.  No matter the species or strain of our sacred herb, seek the connecting magic through shared experiences with the canna-fam and cannabis companions alike. Through the celestial influence, and the connected nature of the sacred herb, November promises to be a period of emotional bonding. All of this communal fellowship with your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts will flow naturally into the cosmic influence in the final decade of November.  After the Full Moon of the 19th, we will all transition into a new celestial cycle. This cycle will bring with it depth of understanding within your own personal mission here on Earth.  The cannabis connected bonding during the month will draw out experience, healing, and perception from your canna-fam. This month is a great time to be a stoner Capricorn!  Remember to be flexible with your methods of cannabis consumption, and caring within your smoke circle. Perhaps an at-home baking session with the canna-crew, trying the latest technique in herbal infusion, will draw out your unique bonding experience. With the kind healing influence of celestial bodies, and the connected magic of the sacred herb, November will build a foundation for progress moving into future periods. Tweet

My diligent stoner Capricorn, October promises to be a wonderful time period.  Even if cosmic support goes against your usual stoner directives, there will be opportunity for growth and progress.  With the connected nature of cannabis, it will be easy to float high out of your comfort zone. The studious stoner Capricorn is one of the hard working members of the stoner Zodiac.  The to-do list, and career contemplation, often creep into meditative smoke sessions.  You can’t help it, and that’s ok.  Interpersonal relationships, and the touchy-feely side of our terrestrial existence, is sometimes lost on you. This month universal support brings balance to the sturdy stoner Sea-Goat.  Warm cosmic winds could provide new feelings closer to the heart than the pocketbook. Halloween Glass Giveaway Early in the month, toke time to prepare for unexpected smoke sessions with the extended stoner fam.  Make sure your smoke kit, and stash jar, are ready to travel. You are a creature of habit stoner Capricorn.  Break free from the tried and true cannabis regiment.  Prepare for company during your smoke sessions in October.  Bring some variety to your cannabis offerings.  Not just new strains of the sacred herb, but ways to consume it also. After the New Moon of the 6th, the stoner Capricorn might become the magnet of the smoke circle.  Old friends forgotten, and new members of the canna-crew, will pop into your terrestrial travels unexpectedly. Toke time for your heart and your soul this month stoner Capricorn.  The to-do list will still be there when the combustion clouds lift.  There is much needed magic in sharing a joint with an old friend.  There is invigorating energy in discovering that new bud-loving buddy you didn’t know worked next door. Inhale the calming nature of the sacred herb.  These chance encounters won’t take away from the daily grind.  Your diligence within the daily grind makes these moments possible, and all-the-more worthwhile. Tweet

Stoner Capricorn the month of September sets up to be as complex as your inner machinations.  As it is tough to pin down your stoner traits on any given day, so too will it be difficult to predict universal influence in the first Fall month. Make sure your treasure chest of cannabis strains is loaded early in the month my mercurial Sea-Goat.  Flexibility within your practice of self medicating will be the key.  You will need versatility, and a breadth of cannabis varieties in your medicine cabinet. Even if it is just a bud or two, make sure to have species dominant strains, hybrids, and even CBD cannabis on hand for thoughtful selection. The situation and dosage of your sacred treasure chest selection will be up to you this month.  So long as you apply reasonable thought to each circumstance, your cannabis copilot won’t let you down. Much of the work required by universal support this month will be internal.  Consistent meditative marijuana moments will help guide you through the maze of terrestrial adventures. Members of the canna-fam will be going through their own trials and tribulations.  Communication within the broader smoke circle will be hampered by cosmic interference. Toke time with the sacred herb to look internally stoner Capricorn.  What are you in control of on this terrestrial plane?  Often frustration or anger is an outward expression of internal negativity. Don’t dwell on others.  Instead, contemplate with cannabis from a higher perspective to see how YOU can positively impact your sphere of influence.  Worry not about that which is out of your control. Stoner Capricorn, this month of internal assessment will have great benefits in the sphere of economics.  Toke time to burn a bowl and budget.  As you shake free the internal complexities of your stoner traits, you should also gaze with your third eye toward the clutter of your financial management. Before you know it, you will be ripped and ready for October.  Perhaps with a better understanding of yourself, the canna-crew, and your position within the economic grind. Tweet

What a wonderful time to be a stoner Capricorn!  The final Summer month will bring blessings of opportunity and understanding to the plotting Sea-Goat. Stoner Capricorn, I understand that your primary modes are logic based, and it certainly has suited you well on our terrestrial plane.  But early in the month you will have the opportunity to dive deep into cosmic modes of thinking that you may have forced into the closet in the past. The sacred herb has helped you touch on esoteric concepts of spirituality, but in August your cannabis copilot will be a wonderful guide to the magic of the universe outside your terrestrial logic.  Take the plunge into yourself early in the month with a deep Indica cannabis strain.  Find a secluded smoke spot for the medicated meditative smoke session. Allow the sacred herb to guide you on an adventure into yourself, and explore the magic of the cosmos contained within all of us.  For the brave Sea-Goat among you, perhaps an edible and a float tank would be the perfect combination for this exploratory mission. Stoner Capricorn, the final Summer month will be blessed with positive universal influence toward exploration on the terrestrial plane as well.  This broad positive cosmic guidance will come with ease:  No instructions required! Exploration does not necessarily mean travel, but it can.  The celestial influence will support all methods of discovery, from travel to education.  But it’s the new people you might meet along the way that will make this period last a lifetime. Keep the deep Indica cannabis strains for the beginning of the month to enhance your solo deep dive into contemplation within.  The remainder of the month needs to find balance within your cannabis consumption. Be sure to stock the stash box with airy Sativa cannabis strains, and even a high CBD strain like Harlequin.  The outward exploration of August will be diverse in the places you travel, and the people you meet. Your cannabis copilot may be the rocket fuel to the internal exploration in the beginning of the month, but it should be just along for the ride for the remainder of the month.  As with all of the great explorers in history, I am sure you will make your mark in August stoner Capricorn.  I can’t help but wonder what you’ll get up to. Tweet

Stoner Capricorn there is so much of your wonderful nature that is steeped in tradition and consistency.  But sometimes major steps of growth can come from breaking free from dependable routines. July will test the stoner Sea-Goat.  But this is a worthwhile exam.  Use the perspective expanding nature of the sacred herb to break out of your traditional box.  In the second Summer month, your cannabis copilot will guide you in alternative directions to arrive at new wonderful locations. Stoner Capricorn be on the look-out for opportunities in July to get out and enjoy the Summer sun.  Often the sturdy Sea-Goat may be the voice of calm and rational responsibility.  Free swinging cosmic winds will open opportunities for the stoner Capricorn to take advantage of impulsive adventures. Smokin Js online headshop now accepts Bitcoin and Ethereum. Keep your stoner go-bag packed with various cannabis strains, and all the tools for combustion away from your home base.  In past periods your canna-crew may have had to drag you out of your comfort zone to enjoy that secret stellar smoke spot.  Not this month!  Keep the gas tank full, buds loaded, and your cannabis companions on speed-dial.  This is your month to curate the cannabis adventure for the smoke circle. Breaking free of traditional habits isn’t easy stoner Capricorn.  There are two keys to matching bowls with the universe, and toke advantage of the cosmic influence in July. First, avoid deep medicated meditative smoke sessions this month.  Seek more numerous lighter smoke sessions.  The guidance of the sacred herb will be more pronounced with frequent airy smoke sessions that keep you connected to this unusual cosmic breeze.  No couch lock, or deep introspection stoner Capricorn. Second, reach out and stay connected to the smoke circle.  The more you connect with the canna-crew, the more this universal influence will gain in confidence. You got this stoner Capricorn.  What an amazing mid Summer story you are about to write.  Be sure to take photos of your canna-buddies, and the smoke spots you combust bowls at.  The Summer sun won’t be the only thing blazin this month! Tweet