Advertise on podcast: Cancer – Stoner Astrological Horoscope

Stoner Cancer, this month, don’t worry about what your fellow cannabis companions are doing. This June is all about marching to the beat of your own drum, and about the trails that you choose to blaze.  This doesn’t mean that all of your traveling and smoke sessions have to be solo. Afterall, there are few things better than soaking up the Sun, sparking up that sweet sinsemilla, and hitting the open road with your closest cannabis companions. Your self-reliance and inward focus simply mean that on your many endo-excursions, you don’t have to be a passenger. It’s your time to take the wheel, my chronic-loving stoner Cancer. You are known for being the kind, caring, and thoughtful Crab. The one who, whether good or bad, can’t help but to take everyone else’s feelings into consideration. It might take a few days to get used to, and more than a couple meditative bowls, but right now you need to put your needs first. Self-care will be even more crucial as we transition into Cancer season at the end of the month. You are already one of the signs of the stoner Zodiac most in touch with their emotions. But, if you don’t toke time to find your center early in June, you run the risk of becoming overwhelmed by sudden surges of the feels. Stoner Cancer, while some will say Indica can leave you stuck ‘in the couch,’ this relaxing and grounding cannabis species will be the go-to strains for the first Summer month. This season, the Sun is sure to provide you with an endless supply of energy, and Sativa dominant strains might leave you feeling more scatter-brained than inspired.  Just remember that whether or not you choose more grounding kinds of green this month, the most important thing is that you choose to DO YOU stoner Crab!

Stoner Cancer, the days are getting longer, and the temperatures are heating up as Summer draws closer. So why does it still feel like gray clouds are hanging heavy overhead, and spring showers will never end? Look around you stoner Cancer. If the sun’s out, and the skies are clear, but you still find yourself feeling hazy or blue, you may want to turn your focus from upward to inward. Maybe you haven’t been able to fully shake off the melancholy that marred the Winter months. Perhaps grinding day-in and day-out has left you feeling more like a cog stuck in the corporate machine, and less like your usual chronic-loving Crabby self. The universe is not conspiring to harsh your high stoner Cancer.  It will be up to you, with a little help from some sacred healing herbs, to get your groove back. In the early days of the month, take a step back and toke time to light up, rise up, and look at your situation from an elevated perspective.  Remember my contemplative Crab, meditation can be manifested in many forms. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have to hide away in a silent smoke-filled room, reflecting on past failures or resolving to do better in the future.  Of course, you can choose to fire up a bowl of the greenest ganja, and pursue your peace by yourself. But you can also find your state of Zen on a Saturday afternoon spent with your cannabis companions hiking to your favorite smoke spot.  Stoner Cancer, just know that you hold the key to making the most of May. Learn to light up and let go of whatever might be weighing you down, and your spirits will continue to rise with the temperature the whole month through.

Stoner Cancer, there will be almost nothing you will have to be crabby about this April. The flowers are budding, the days are getting longer, and your attitude is on the rise. As long as you keep your stash jars at equally high levels, the forecast is looking up. The cosmic haze that hung over the first few months of 2022 has lifted, leaving nothing but bright skies and wide-open roads. Just remember that while the path ahead may be clear stoner Cancer, it will be up to you as to how far you wander. After a cool winter spent cooped-up inside, toking Indica on the couch, it’s time to switch to more stimulating Sativa cannabis strains, and take your smoke sessions outside!  Nothing says Spring-is-here like hitting up your best buds to cloud-up your favorite outdoor smoke spots. My chronic-loving Crab, whenever the weather allows, you should be enjoying your nugs out in Nature.  Puffing tree among the trees. It may not be warm enough for extended getaways, but it’s definitely a good opportunity to do some reconnaissance for future endo-excursions. Now is the perfect time to map out the paths you want to blaze during the coming months. And although we’re not in full summertime adventure mode quite yet, a few dank-filled day trips will hold you over in the meantime. My confident stoner Crab, it has been a while since you’ve felt this level of high spirit.  Be courageous and ready to conquer whatever the cosmos has in store. This month, breathe deep the invigorating vapors of the sweet sinsemilla, and let it lift you even higher. Regardless of how slow or low the year has felt so far, know that this season, nothing can bring you down!

Stoner Cancer, at this point, you may be feeling a bit jealous of some of the other signs in the stoner Zodiac. Maybe you are a little annoyed at having watched some of your peers start the year with a meteoric rise, while you seemed to find yourself stuck on the launch pad. Well buckle up stoner Cancer, and prepare for takeoff, because this month it’s all systems go! While you saw those in your sphere blast off and blaze bright at first, they didn’t do a very good job pacing themselves for the long haul. Now, you are seeing those same cannabis cosmonauts crashing back down to earth, out of gas, and low on green energy.  And it’s only March. This month, light up and breathe easy my contemplative Crab; the days you spent at a slow burn will start to pay off. Those days when you thought you were falling behind, were really about preparing your cosmic space suit for the many terrestrial travels ahead.  By rationing your reefer and energy over the past couple months, you have built up your reserves and ensured you will have enough of both to make this Spring one of the most happening and haziest ever. Stoner Cancer, avoid making the same mistakes as your cannabis companions whose endo-adventures ended prematurely. In other words:  Slow your roll. Keep your eye on your destination, but don’t forget to enjoy the journey. Toke the scenic route stoner Cancer. Feel the wind on your face, and those sweet sacred vapors in your lungs, as you make pit stops at your favorite smoke spots. Stoner Cancer, you may feel like you’re finally getting your cosmic groove back. Just be sure to keep it moving at a sustainable pace, otherwise you risk running out of steam before you get to the hot and happy days of summer.

Stoner Cancer, last month the goal was to smoke the high grade and keep it lowkey. It was about finding your way along the mellow middle path through consistent medicated meditation; it was a time to toke it slow and allow yourself the headspace needed to philosophize and plan out where you want to go next. Many of these were solo smoke sessions, or limited only to your closest cannabis companions. Now it’s time to get back out there to share those great greens and good vibes with more of your fellow tokin' terrestrials.  But, as you expand your smoke session this February, be mindful that not everyone can be expected to be in such a zenful state of mind, my calm and collected Crab. So, stoner Cancer, it is a good time to get out the peace pipe and give it a good deep cleaning…you will need it this month. The good news is that new dramas aren’t a part of the month’s forecast. Instead, unresolved tensions and hurt feelings can resurface as people hangout and hotbox with those they haven’t seen in a while.  When the conversation stalls or gets a little heated, just let go and let the sacred herb guide the communications forward. After everyone shares a few bowls, the room might be a little hazy, but you will be able to see others’ perspectives more clearly. Stoner Cancer, it’s not about who is right or who was wronged. It’s about listening to each other, lighting up together, and helping everyone to meet on a higher and healthier level. After-all, especially when it comes to spending time toking and talking with our partners-in-chronic, good ganja is something we can all agree upon.

Stoner Cancer, no one would ever dare to call you complacent. In fact, you are one of the least likely of the stoner Zodiac to succumb to couchlock. But, this month, it may not be such a bad thing if you spend a little more time smoking your favorite herbs from the comfort of your soft sofa or reliable recliner. This inclination to stay medicated and reclined, is partly due to the fact that the New Year doesn’t necessarily promise the fresh start that it will bring for some. Rest assured, you won’t be forced to relive every chaotic moment of 2021, but you should expect the cosmic haze that has clouded your vision in recent months will linger a bit longer than it will for some of your cannabis companions.  You don’t have to curb your enthusiasm my eternally-ambitious Crab, but it will be most beneficial to your peace-of-mind if you slow your roll.  Because this slow rolling, float-on approach is not usually your style, you will need to seek help from the soothing vapors of the sacred herb. Afterall, you don’t want to become known as the chronically cranky Crab, just because the Cosmos is cramping your style. Open the cannabis cabinet. Seek specific sacred strains for the right moment to find your chill. A couple of my favorite strains that I would recommend during this time are the ever-sweet Gelato, and the always classic Purple Haze.  These strains, and others like them, will help to unleash your creativity without going to your head. Use your cannabis copilot to get your ideas onto paper, but soothe the urge to implement them before they are fully formed. It may be a challenge in the first couple days of the New Year, but at least for now, my sweet stoner Cancer, the goal is to keep it lowkey and forward looking.  Stay focused on the long game, and avoid rushing ahead.

Stoner Cancer, you may be ready to load the bong, sit on the couch, and say good riddance to the crazy and hazy days of 2021.  Unfortunately, my chronic-loving Crab, you still have a few more weeks to go before you can embrace the new beginnings of a new year. For now, while you shouldn’t expect every challenge to recede, you can expect for the stars to align in your favor.  You will truly be able to slow your roll this December. If you were to answer honestly stoner Cancer, would you even want an uneventful ending to such a wild year? Probably not.  Don’t worry my stoner Crab, you definitely won’t have time to get bored. Whether it’s puffing and passing the time in your stoney sanctuary, or grabbing your reliable daily driver to brave the cool winter days in search of the perfect snowy smoke spot, your partners-in-chronic are sure to keep you moving. Stoner Cancer, although the temperature outside might be cold, you can expect your romantic prospects to heat up. Maybe you just discovered your longtime crush is Four-Twenty friendly, and you are finally ready to pack a bowl for two. You may meet your future cannabis companion at the social smoke session you almost passed on. And of course, you may just be feeling yourself this month, and simply choose to enjoy talking and toking with some good buds. The point is to keep your eyes and mind open. Romance and relationship building don’t have to be your main goal.  Just enjoy the marijuana infused moments, and be ready to light-up and leap-in when cupid does find you. Stoner Cancer, if you want to make the most of the fresh start the New Year offers, then don’t leave projects unfinished, or bring unresolved baggage with you as you begin the next chapter of your story. Amidst all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it will be even more important to toke time to unwind and unplug. Meditating with the sacred herb will allow you the peace needed to reflect on where you’ve been, and to look forward to what happens next in your stoney saga. The New Year will be here soon enough, my caring Crab. But for now, you should be proud of how far you’ve come this year, and confident that in 2022, the sky will truly be the limit. Tweet

Stoner Cancer, you are accustomed to processing the intense emotions that arise as you navigate the unstable streams of the cosmos during the times of tumultuous tides. But, there are many of your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts who may easily become overwhelmed when the waters get too rough. It’s been quite a wild ride so far this year, and you might be eager to say goodbye to 2021; but be cautioned my chronic-loving Crab:  There are still a few more weeks of chaotic currents ahead, before you get to spark up that final bowl of the year. In the meantime, you will serve as a beacon of light to the weary canna-fam as they traverse the uncertain times ahead. Stoner Cancer, you are uniquely positioned to help your cannabis companions stay afloat amongst swelling waves; to offer a place of refuge from the cosmic winds; to be the safe, calm eye within the swirling storm. You can’t always control the chaos stoner Cancer, but during this season, you can breathe easy at the thought that you will at least have control over the happenings in your home. YOU get to curate the atmosphere and setting where good vibes and kind buds abound. You don’t have to welcome everyone into your smoke circle stoner Cancer.  However, open up your stoney sanctuary to those most in need.  Be welcoming to the worn down terrestrial travelers who need to rest, recreate, and recharge their cosmic spacesuit.  A shared bowl can mean so much in turbulent times. However, it is important to set boundaries, and to know your limits.  If your stash jar is being drained faster than usual, be on the lookout for the stoner mooch who is always down to pack a bowl, but never seems to contribute to the communal supply. Sharing is caring my sweet stoner Crab, but make sure that the giving goes both ways.  In the end, the motive is love and empathy; but be protected from unappreciated cannabis consumption. Stoner Cancer, it’s not that you are one who seeks out chaos. But, where others see a challenging obstacle, you see an opportunity to overcome. You are the one who, with or without herbal inspiration, always looks to achieve a higher perspective. This November you will have the opportunity to answer your truest calling.  Fulfill the role of Ganja Guru. Light up and rise up, your fellow cannabis companions will need your optimistic outlook! Tweet

Stoner Cancer, you are often characterized by the unpredictability of your emotions; consistently pulled back and forth between elevated highs and seemingly unavoidable lows. But this October, you can expect to experience a period of true and welcomed peace. It will take investment and effort on your part, but you can reach the middle of the path on which you wish to travel. This path of peace you wish to achieve will not be easily gained, but once discovered, it will be much easier to hold onto. Be mindful my stoney Crab, that the peaceful path you desire may come at a cost. You love tokin’ with your fellow cannabis companions, but oftentimes you can’t help but absorb the emanations of those nearest to you. Halloween Glass Giveaway Because of your highly honed emotional frequencies, and in order to achieve your own sense of Zen, this month may be filled with more solo smoke sessions than you are used to.  Terrestrial travels in October may be resigned to stay-cations or getaways where the only ones invited are you, your favorite piece, and the newest strain of the sweet sensimilla. The focus on your own wellbeing will not always come naturally.  Be patient stoner Cancer. Know that it will take multiple smoke sessions of mindful meditation with the sacred herb in order to manifest your ultimate goal:  Peace. You don’t have to be a complete hermit my stoner Crab, but for now you will benefit from a little time away from your usual smoke circle. Don’t worry, your cannabis companions will be there waiting for you when you get back. Afterall, what good is your new found serenity if you don’t have anyone to share it with? Time away from the canna-crew will help you see and sense the difference between what are truly YOUR feelings, and the negative vibrations emanating from those around you. There is no secret or special equation to this, just pay attention. If you find yourself feeling down, drained or anxious, look back to who you were around when you felt those emotions. Identifying the common denominator will make it easier to avoid, or lessen, the time you spend with the people who are the source of those unwanted emotions. Some of these separations will be temporary stoner Cancer. But others, you may find, are best left to find a new canna-fam to roll with. Either way, you will get a whiff of what the peaceful path smells like, and will most certainly want to reup again next month. Tweet

Stoner Cancer, if there is one thing you can count on in September, it’s that plans are always subject to change. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to look ahead, just don’t stress too much when you have to alter course, or take a different route, to reach your destination. These detours, which at first might feel like setbacks or delays, could end up being a stellar blessing in disguise as you are forced to take the longer, but more scenic route. Enjoy the ride stoner Cancer! Summer might be coming to a close, but your cosmic endo-excursions show no signs of slowing down. My chronic-loving Crab, prepare yourself for increased sensitivity to the energy of others.  Both positive and negative vibrations will be felt more acutely throughout the month. You will be torn between helping those nearest you to fix the issues they face, and escaping to secluded smoke spots to enjoy your bowls by yourself, far away from everyone else’s drama. The secret to keeping the peace during this time of potential emotional tensions will be clear communication; and of course keeping the peace pipe packed and ready to deliver the calming vapors of cannabis. Much of the tension that may arise will be the result of simple misunderstandings, or words taken out of context. A little time spent meditating with the sacred herb can have a big impact when it comes to preparing for tough talks. Pausing to puff, and find your own center, can help you avoid passing on your own negative vibrations. You want to project the image of being the ever-caring stoner Cancer, not the always-cranky Crab. So make sure you are calm and clear headed before speaking up. But, remember stoner Cancer, it’s not your mission to point out others’ shortcomings.  There are more constructive uses of your time and energy. It isn’t always easy, but the best way to lift up others is by first being firmly grounded yourself. Toward the later days of the month, turn your critical gaze inward, my chronic-loving crustacean. Light one up, and truly see yourself in the mirror.  If you like what you see, then September will be a time to stay calm and toke on. But, if there are things you want to change, then Autumn will be the ideal backdrop for elevated transformation. Tweet

Stoner Cancer, you are known for being the most cautious and calculating of all the stoner Zodiac; usually you prefer to take the tried-and-true path over the road less traveled. But, this month the chronic-loving Crab will have the chance to get in touch with their more spontaneous side. This doesn’t mean you should let all of your inhibitions go up in smoke, but you can allow yourself license to listen when you hear adventure calling. Go ahead stoner Cancer, indulge in eating that extra edible, spend a little more to get the new piece you REALLY want, or treat yourself to an ounce of your favorite top-shelf nugs.  You’ve earned it! And it doesn’t all have to be cannabis related, my methodical Crab. Now is the season to shake up the status quo. Dye your hair a far-out color, or try the new hairstyle you’ve been wanting, but weren’t sure you could pull off.  If you’re feeling that your wardrobe is worn out, now is the time to refresh your threads and let your outer style reflect your hidden inner spunk! Stoner Cancer, keep in mind that transformation is just a possibility, not a requirement during this period. If you want to completely reimagine how you present yourself to your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts, then light one up to spark your imagination and let the metamorphosis begin! But, you can also embrace smaller, more subtle changes:  Like getting rid of bad habits that might be slowing you down at work, or starting a new workout routine and focusing more on your health. Just remember that most things are best in moderation stoner Cancer. While there are a seemingly infinite number of new strains to sample, and endless endo-excursions to embark upon, it will be important for you to keep your calculating gaze on the other kind of green:  Your finances. Stoner Cancer, this means you will have to meditate and reflect on the difference between what it is that you WANT, and what you actually NEED. Toke time to contemplate the cost benefit analysis.  Whether it’s shopping for your new style, or taking off with the canna-fam on one of your many Summer smoke sessions. You don’t want to burn through your savings, or your stash, before the sunny season is over. Tweet

Stoner Cancer, as you move through the warm tides of the season, all eyes will be on you! While you are a moon child, the Summer sun will illuminate your energetic aura, and make you shine even brighter. Cannabis hybrid strains should be your go-to green gas as you speed through July.  These balanced buds will keep you grounded while your spirit and confidence are lifted.  This canna-combination should help keep your mood optimistic and positive. Show your fellow stoner Zodiac you can stay high and stay humble. You are feeling good stoner Cancer!  Help those around you to feel their stoniest selves.  But, your desire to lift the spirits of those around you can leave you vulnerable to negative wavelengths. Smokin Js online headshop now accepts Bitcoin and Ethereum. Be mindful of who you share the pipe with during the second Summer month my social Crab.  You are always ready to match bowls, but you also need to be ready to skip the smoke session when what someone is puff puff passing is their bad vibes. Stoner Cancer, remember that you are the one in control of who you allow into your orbit. Whether it’s for a big, busy project at work, or the chillest weekend smoke sesh, be selective in who you choose to team up with this month. Everyone deserves to be a part of a crew, but they don’t all have to be a part of yours. It doesn’t take much to make the chronic-loving Crab smile.  Soaking up a Summer sunset smoking kind buds with a few close cannabis companions usually does the trick.  But, there are new destinations and experiences awaiting the stoner Cancer who feels extra adventurous this Summer. The cosmic weather forecast for July is calm winds and gentle influence.  This means you can make this month as wild or as restful as you wish stoner Cancer.  Although spontaneity is not usually a trait attributed to the traditionally cautious and intentional Crab, you might surprise yourself by how far your terrestrial travels take you. Just know stoner Cancer, that sometimes it is okay to see the nug jar half empty.  It is better to burn through your stash with the partners-in-chronic while discovering new and exotic smoke spot locations, than to be stuck at home with plenty of good green, but no one to smoke it with. Tweet