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The day we've all waited for is finally here. Legend Trixie Mattel is BACK as our guest today and finally answers the question we've all been asking: What's your favorite vacuum cleaner? But listener, so much more is discussed: The IMDb star meter, ancestral rice, giant spiders, and airplane etiquette (Michelle can't get enough of this topic apparently). We get diva boots on the ground reporting live from the Chicken Festival, and quotes from some true American heroes, Phaedra Parks. Be SURE to watch the Trixie Halloween Mattelethon, available for free on YouTube, and tickets to Michelle's tour are now FULLY on sale! Head over to MichelleCollinsComedy.com to see if she's coming to a city near you. For even more Michelle Collins, and really, why stop now? Join her Patreon!  https://www.patreon.com/michcoll  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Has anyone ever said "things that make you go 'mmm'" about the C&C Cheesecake Factory? Well this episode surely will! Bryan Safi joins Mich to recap their literal day from heaven this past Sunday which included doing the Romeo & Juliet balcony scene at the Glendale TJ Maxx, then rifling through some Ross cosmetics, followed by a heapin' trough of delights at the Americana. This is a detailed hangout recap, you've been warned, but the episode is rounded out with a timely look back at Oscar Winning Songs and why they've fallen off so bad. Apologies to Dianne Warren!! (Always.) Go see Bryan in New York at the Hilarity for Charity Fundraiser Oct 2! For even more Michelle Collins, and really, why stop now? Join her Patreon!  https://www.patreon.com/michcoll See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is an episode that does the impossible, which is have it all. Dan Acton joins from next to his unplugged rice cooker as Michelle fills us all in on the mind-blowing Rosalia concert in Miami. And while we do the usual TV/Broadway recapping, we also finally crack open the 75-year-old copy of one of the most vile Presidential cookbooks ever written, and uncover an incredibly sordid tale of the lover in the attic, apron factories, and big-titted big mouths who almost got away with the perfect crime. (Wait, she actually did get away with it.) (Also maybe our worst title stretch of the year.)... For even more Michelle Collins, and really, why stop now? Join her Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/michcoll See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We LOOOOOOVE when our resident tennis expert and host of The Gay Tennis Podcast Tony Hagen stops by, especially at a time when the country is fraught with tennis opinions!! The U.S. (Wide) Open has welcomed everyone with 2 pennies and an Instagram following into their suites this year, and etiquette? It's out the window honey! Audience participation is almost a requirement at this year's slam, and Tony gives us his boots on the ground reporting live from Queens. Lots of questions covered: Why are the "kits" so hideous? Who can afford anything? Specifically oversized bagel bag charms? Plus... lots of hotel unpacking including a new chain that we just can't get enough of. Will this episode be the thing that finally heals Michelle from her NYC sinus infection/cold? Tune in for 90 minutes while our electricity is still on to find out! For more of The Michelle Collins Show, head to Patreon.com/Michcoll and to see Michelle live in LA on Sept 24 at The Elysian, head to the link in her Instagram bio. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hate to tell you that the title is not as spicy as you would like though hopefully will get your heart racing (with stress!) She is BACK in LA and riddled with COVID: It's Rose Abdoo!! Who has been busy trying to charm her way into the hearts of the desk employees in her Montreal apartment building while shooting the new CBS show Eternally Yours. There is so much for these ladies to unpack (literally): Life in Canada, tariffs and doors, gowns... the usual. Michelle is back in NYC and had one of the most thrilling, intoxicating, scary and overall fabulous day that was still riddled with nearby crime in the big city with her friend, brilliant comedian Dylan Carlino. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's always a great day when our friend comedian Dylan J. Palladino stops by to allow Michelle to lightly rub him with a sisterly love we know he adores.* (we hope!) Today, we unpack Dylan's solo man-moto journey to the beaches of the Jersey Shore, and also the importance of helmets despite looking like the biggest loser alive. Michelle has foots-on-the-ground reporting from her podiatrist's office, where shirtless men dominate the waiting room and her wikifeet is being updated live from the hallway. She rewarded herself by trying on jewelry she will likely never afford, which leads one to ask what IS the deal with men and their black "carbon" wedding bands? Talk us into it! Plus, remembering sweet angel Dolly Parton, Dylan has a sheets update, and why aren't actors getting ugly anymore?! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We are SO BACK. Michelle may still be in Italy surrounded by the most beautiful sights in the world, but that is not stopping her from sharing stories big and small, fun and scarring, for your listening pleasure. And joining is Abby Holland, who has an amazing new job that we are celebrating while also hoping to also be invited into the Sandwich Club. Michelle, meanwhile, did her best to relax on her days off in the beautiful town known as Sorrento. Tours abound, highs and lows as well: Some tours were amazing, some nearly led to an ambulance, but one thing brings it all together... amazing people whom we befriended and some crazy coincidences we're choosing not to ignore. PLUS: Michelle visits the Italian Phantom of the B.O.-pera castle against her will, but nothing and she means nothing, not heat, not BO, not haunted attic rooms, not the endless line of scammers, will stop her from loving this country. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What better way to wrap this interesting week up than with one of our favorite cohosts, Molly Mulshine. Michelle finds herself, where else, in Florence, Italy, which has her realizing certain wonderful truths about American culture... namely that we are coddled like little tiny babies and she wouldn't have it any other way! That viral View video is discussed, and folks, if we can't have a sense of humor about it, we are lost as a society. On the bright side, Michelle has some updates about the Italian Outlets. The good news is: you're not missing anything. The bad news is: The little you buy will likely be stolen off of the train. And while we said we wouldn't be addressing the P*rez Hiltn video (which you should not google!!) we, in fact, do. Plus: A little Big Brother/Baby Voice chat, Peter Pan collars, Bimbo culture, flying with babies, MAFS and somehow so much more!!! Listen to Molly's podcast Housewives Book Club anywhere you find podcasts! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So much to celebrate when our friend Andrea Lopez enters the chat live from New Jersey, where the topics truly range from the responsibilities of being an "Aunt on the Side," to baby neighbors who literally never grow up? Michelle may have been swindled by a Groupon but she's willing to sacrifice her money and happiness for content. Andrea is back from Colombia covered in Central American bugbites and now sees Wendy Williams anywhere she goes, while Michelle is fairly sure she sat behind Queen Elle Fanning at the opening night of Cat Cohen's incredible Broad Strokes. A Toxic Love Story is lightly discussed, and while it's not great, it is a great reminder that tech can be used for good (catching criminals). Mich correctly some of her mistakes but somehow makes new ones. This and MORE if you can imagine. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Always a wonderful day when Dan Acton finds a pod at his gym to join Michelle on the show. And today, they unpack much of what is in the current cultural zeitgeist. Dan gives an honest man's review of The Odyssey, which Michelle hopes to catch at a "quiet hours" screening for the neurodivergent among us. Married at First Sight is back on Peacock and has us asking the tough questions like "wait, what DID happen on January 6?" They also both watched Obsession, but sadly didn't have their "pit diapers" on for it, and while Christopher Nolan may not be a fan of CGI, Bubbles the Monkey definitely was! Speakerphones, Uggs, and male tenderness round out this episode that may teach you a little something* *no refunds. And don't forget to get tickets to Mich's upcoming shows! Joe's Pub in NYC Sept 2 & 3 and the Elysian Theater in LA Sept 24 (2 shows!) See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Put those brows on nice and HIGH because we have the host of The Gay Tennis Podcast Tony Hagen joining us on the show to walk us through his magical day of Wimbledon men's semifinals, large totes, and posh dreams with Michelle, fresh from Amsterdam and a birthday dinner on 4 hours sleep. And there is a lot to unpack. Hobnobbing with British military, famous hawk owners, and local mums with a penchant for trampolining. We also delve into this week's downright disusting fluid scandal on Below Deck: Mediterranean, and Michelle begs you to take these untouched wings after a tense mixup at a London fast food restaurant leads to manna from heaven, assuming she can get herself back there. This and so much more. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is an exciting episode of the show as we welcome two of our favorite guests... starting off with Dan Acton, who, despite what you may have read, will not put a dentist coat on for cash. He joins Michelle to unpack her day from hell, including getting hit by a bike and falling in front of an audience. Luckily Mich has a bright FINN DOM future ahead (or so she hopes), but will it be in time to score a million-dollar ticket to Wimbledon? Then!! We welcome comedian and mega-producer Jamie Lee to the show to try our best not to gossip about J-Lo. We unpack grief and the shock of losing a friend young, which is the main subject matter of her new one-woman show My Friend Katy, which will be on a stage near you in no time. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Back from his trip to Brazil, Dan Acton is here to recap the road to Brazil and all the joys of traveling through one of the most beautiful places on Earth with waves that will literally rip the glasses from you head. This is an episode CHOCK FULL of info: Going to World Cup games to meet "hunks"... assuming StubHub hasn't scammed you out of tickets, on the other hand "singlemaxxing," unkempt hovels, documentaries ranging from stolen Lego sets to stolen Disney memoribilia #WheresBuzzy, patchouli and passing the Zara sniff test, and twerking against your will at the Knicks parade. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is there any better way to kick off a morning or any time of day then listening to Queen of both Comedy & KOHL'S Ellie Kemper? Michelle (writing this) argues no! Ellie sits in her finest bistro chair to join Michelle for an almost academic discussion about comedian genetics, musical theatre high school, FORENSICS (trigger warning for those sick of it, note that Ellie had never heard of it) and an in-depth look at two of their favorite movies, Little Shop of Horrors & My Cousin Vinny. Which begs the question: Did the movies you loved as a kid hold up? Or were our brains just so soft at that point that nothing could possibly top them? To hear this episode ad-free or watch a video of the show, head over to patreon.com/michcoll.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Give his regards to (off)-Broadway!! It's star of stage and screen Bryan Safi, whose show Are You Mad At Me? is making its off-B debut this summer at the Here Arts Center! And imagine that a man of so many talents took a weekend out of his busy schedule to travel with Mich to Mexico City! An amazing town where wonderful meals are the standard, hotels are pristine, the people are perfect, and the dads? Hot. But don't worry, we barely discuss that... rather the humor of it all, from cuck hotels with nary a lobby in sight to meals where the main color is BROWN and the lips are THIN. Mich has a leg-shaking stand-off with a Miññie Mouse, buys the stupidest shirt ever made in German history, and tricks Bryan into purchasing illegal Chinese headphones among many other things. So dip a toe in this ash pool and relax with an ep chock full of recommendations and, mainly, things to avoid.  To hear this episode ad-free and watch video, head over to Patreon.com/michcoll.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.