Advertise on podcast: Backwater Bastards: An Actual Play Podcast

The Bastards are partnering with D8 Dungeon on the D8DungeonDrive 2026! They are rolling dice and auctioning off a seat at their table for you and yer friends! Head over to https://tinyurl.com/epictables26 to see what's up for grabs, place your bids, and get ready to RUMBLE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The party is split. Ze and Boris are riding the rails, while Cleo, Robin and Trevor take to the skies aboard Jordan to reclaim their hard-won spoiler and rescue R.E.E.S.E. from the galaxy’s worst parking job. They hatch a quick plan with a healthy dose of “Robin diplomacy” Somehow, the Terrans, the Synths and the Wraiths all seem to be working together for once, forcing Cleo into yet another lesson on why “just smoke everyone” is not a reliable conflict resolution strategy. With the train’s resident explosives enthusiast in tow, Team Bastard attempts a mid-air rescue, complete with body-snatching, questionable ethics, and far more confidence than planning. For once, everything actually seems to be coming together. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Reda Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Far east of Rhalloran, a caravan winds its meager way through the woods. We find ourselves on the trail, with a mercenary, an alchemist, an old witch, and a hundred score displaced by the wars of empire. Within the myriad worlds of the caravan, there is great coin to be made tonight. Unfortunately, the alchemist isn’t the only one who knows it. Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠PATREON This is HOMEGAME, a Patron exclusive return to our fantastical Bastard roots- the high fantasy worlds of Rhalloran! We’re keeping in the derail, the rules chat, the meta of all metas, and dammit, we’re eating snacks at the table while we do it. Pull up a chair, and grab a brew- because we’re bringing you into our HOMEGAME! Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Pencerdd Cwenhild the Unhale -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Siege --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Bjorn Hurri Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our PATREON If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For nearly six years, we have roamed the far reaches of outer space. But once upon a time, we were magic. We were pirates! We were sword and shield fighters in an arcane land.. ..we were also recording on headsets and eating crisps into the microphone. So it’s high time we return to the fantasy, and high tail it back to the grind of pre-plumbing! Tonight we’re building characters, and we’re spilling out all of our ideas. This is the episode zero of our HOMEGAME, so pull up a chair and meet Cwenhild, and Siege- the raw, rough edged dream-vessels of our first “casual” game in at least 600 years. Magic?? Crossbows? Table snacks? WE’RE BACK BABY. Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠PATREON This is HOMEGAME, a Patron exclusive return to our fantastical Bastard roots- the high fantasy worlds of Rhalloran! We’re keeping in the derail, the rules chat, the meta of all metas, and dammit, we’re eating snacks at the table while we do it. Pull up a chair, and grab a brew- because we’re bringing you into our HOMEGAME! Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Pencerdd Cwenhild the Unhale -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Siege --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Bjorn Hurri Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our PATREON If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Team Bastard is winning the race, but losing the war. Turns out, leaving a spaceship full of stolen bioweapons in a parking lot after live streaming the theft to the whole galaxy was not the best plan. R.E.E.S.E. has sounded the alarm and called for help as mysterious interlopers kick down his door. Our racers face a tough call: how do you keep one foot in the race but steal your ride back at the same time? As usual, the answer is somewhere in between teamwork, theft, and trains. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The dangers of the track chew into the racers like they’re free fried tentacles with extra sauce. Things are heating up in the second stretch, and the Bastards aren’t the even the only ones that brought explosives! Despite that, they manage to power through AND teach young Robin something about the virtues of family, while enjoying a trains-eye view. (You’ll get that joke later. Maybe.) Everything is looking pretty golden when they get a little call from R.E.E.S.E. on the walkie. He’s got company, and they left him unattended in the parking lot with a hull full of powdered bioweapon and a universe full of heat. Weird choice in hindsight. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Daniel Matthews Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The flag drops, the crowd roars, and the Bastards are gunning it. Jordan is pulling, Trevor is driving (sort of), Cleo, Boris, and Robin are in the back doing something that smells like chemistry- and Ze is hanging off the back on a wheel and wreaking havoc. The race starts out behind a massive spiked train filled with secrets. There are wraiths on the track, three-legged synths, the musical stylings of Bad Snax, and a mess of rowing Terrans. But Bastards are a family with a mission, and they cannot lose. Not after everything they’ve been through, and certainly not in front of Robin! They have a weapon called The Doctor. They have a plan. They have.. Tomatoes. And when they round that first corner and a cart gets wrecked- it almost seems like that plan is working.. That those suspicious figures that fled through the stands were just another family of losers.. Just one less obstacle between them, the family fun lesson of a lifetime, and that shiny new spaceship spoiler.. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Skia Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Bastards have Robin, and the whole dang universe is watching. They’re cruising around when a radio broadcast cuts through the noise: family fun racing, open entry, and first prize is a brand new ship plating kit with a genuine, certified, SPACE SPOILER. It’s BYOracecar, and you can’t leave the ground- so the Bastards head down into the belly of the R.E.E.S.E. to see what they can mod. They rip the roof off of Cleo’s red rover, plan some creative compartments for weapon crafting (because this is a zero plasma production! That means no blasters, no energy blades, no nothin’!), and of course, a plan for a very specific amount of tomatoes. Just Jordan the engine, a sprinkle of Bastard ingenuity, and a weapon called The Doctor hanging off the back. They’ve got a heading and a dream. Maybe they’ll teach Robin the meaning of family after all… Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Skia Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Bastards make it to the black hole, ready to dispose of their universe-ending problem. Unfortunately, Robin got there first. Now bigger, weirder, and in control of a sentient armada, Robin has a plan- and it’s not exactly “leave the galaxy untouched.” It doesn’t take long for the crew to vote for violence; but Cleo would like to try a bigger weapon… Meanwhile, their location is blown, Biolife is calling (rude), and more ships are arriving by the second. With Robin on the brink of doing something truly irreversible, The Bastards have to make a call: do what they always do… or listen to Cleo. This has kind of worked before. Technically. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Skia Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The big bad of scheduling hit us! After all this is still a game that is a podcast, even us heroes roll nat 1 on scheduling hehe. But so that ya have something here is an episode from behind the Patreon. Love you all and we will be back on time again asap. Black Hole Son wont ya come! . . . The crew is back and absolutely nobody is staying on topic. This episode: the Big Light gets the analysis it deserves, the definitive sexy foods tier list is finally settled, and an important debate about shower hydration concludes. Bodie joins the chaos. You're going to want to hear this one. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Yorp -- ⁠⁠Bodie⁠⁠ Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fresh off their ill-advised shopping spree of apocalyptic powdered bioweapons, The Bastards are faced with the age-old question: now what? To help things along, Boris explains with the aid of a slideshow exactly how extinction-level their new cargo really is, and proposes the only ethical disposal method thinkable- tossing it into a primordial black hole from the dawn of creation. Half decided, the Bastards continue to explore possibilities. Some small on-the-road fumbles attract the worst kind of attention, inspiring Cleo to go live to the entire galaxy (they think?) to announce a few key details: “the Bastards are carrying universe-ending powder, it’s Biolife’s fault, and they’ve personally murdered her before and they’re coming for you next.” The Bastards gun it for the singularity while dodging other ships and calls, officially a new kind of target- when they finally reach the black hole, ready to dump the powder and save the universe just one more time… …but there’s just one problem. The black hole isn’t just a black hole. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- Toolazytoaddspaces Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Bastards, the robbers, and their hitchhiking friend Yorp are trapped in the Big Momma Fishing shop. Fortunately they’ve taken the shopkeeper hostage and discover a mysterious powder, which diffuses the situation. (Not.) As negotiations unravel, Yorp calls in a favor from the strange vessel he’s been mumbling to, and a whole swarm of his friends arrive to smooth things over. (Sort of.) At the end of the day, all that really matters is that everybody ate, Cleo’s got clean pants, Yorp’s mission is intact, and The Bastards have a ship full of apocalyptic bioweapons and a renewed dream of a free MidSpace… For everyone. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Yorp -- ⁠Bodie⁠ Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bodie⁠ Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nobody likes shopping. But it’s worse when you’re in someone else’s body. On the run, low on supplies, and badly in need of a reset, the Bastards hit a station to shop. Cleo needs clothes. Everyone needs a break. Instead, they find subpar fishing merch, a hitchhiker, and a whole lot of eye contact from two shifty strangers. But hey! At least they made a new friend… Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Yorp -- Bodie Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bodie Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There has never been a time that the Bastards needed to go shopping more than today. Well, there may have been a few times- but this is a big one. Cleo has not come out of her room for days and days, and she has nothing to wear. She has been in the Ursine for so long. The whole ship is uneasy. There are villains at large. The galaxy is in flux, and there are a thousand loose threads. But today, we shop. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Vache de Mer --  ⁠⁠⁠⁠Fiona K.T. Howat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Nine Blades -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Hamilton⁠⁠⁠⁠ Fronn -- Whiskey Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠KtuluRob Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The fight is over. One by one our rescuers find each other again. Boris, Fron and Bortis leave a grim discovery behind them, while Vache and Nine Blades realize a new mission. At the last moment, Dr. Ze hears Cleo in the darkness. The whole party is back together, so many foes have been bested, and they have their heading… …but the damage has been done. Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Richard Kimber-Bell⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cleo deCap / M8 -- ⁠⁠⁠⁠Taylor van Biljon⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra --⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Daniel Matthews⁠⁠⁠⁠ Vache de Mer --  ⁠⁠⁠Fiona K.T. Howat⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ The Nine Blades -- ⁠⁠⁠Hamilton⁠⁠⁠ Fronn -- Whiskey Episode art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Skia Ambiance sound support by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Jamie Nord⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠Michaël Ghelfi⁠⁠⁠⁠ Synth Music Karl Casey @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠White Bat Audio⁠⁠⁠⁠ Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews Distributed by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Realm⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Send inquiries and fanart to [email protected] Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our ⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.backwaterbastards.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Discord⁠⁠⁠⁠! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices