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A conversation with my friend and mentor, barbara findlay (she/her). For nearly five decades, barbara's worked tirelessly for LGBT rights in Canada. The episode was recorded in February 2025.  Our discussion ranged from the modern world we find ourselves in and how we got here to the homegrown transphobia right here in Canada, to galvanizing and taking action. barbara died on August 22, 2026 - this episode includes a closing tribute.  Timestamps 00:00 Cold open 00:58 Introduction and the political moment  02:32 Climate dread, fear, and the rise of right-wing populism 05:59 Trans rights in Canada 10:16 Saskatchewan's Bill 137 and the notwithstanding clause 13:28 The "people not like us" sentiment, and why Lawyers Against Transphobia operates with joy rather than righteousness 17:39 barbara's path from feminism to anti-racism work and finding agency 19:54 What listeners can do - locating yourself in systems of power 23:59 Building community  27:09 Tribute  Taking Action https://www.repeal137.ca/action to send an email to your MLA insisting on repeal of Bill 137. Transphobic Legal Actions in Canada https://egale.ca/egale-in-action/alberta-bill9-nov18/ https://egale.ca/egale-in-action/sask-appeal-aug11/ Remembering barbara https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/barbara-findlay-lawyer-lgbtqia-advocate-mourned-9.7317710 https://nationalmagazine.ca/en-ca/articles/people/2026/a-transformative-force-in-the-legal-profession https://egale.ca/egale-in-action/barbara-findlay-aug-24/ https://xtramagazine.com/video/barbara-findlay-lawyer-obituary-284076

Sex Ed Before Bed Host Bex (she/her) is in the hotseat for the first time ever, interviewed by her sister Izzy (she/her) on another taboo topic: friendship breakups. Timestamps 0:00 Cold open 3:30 Coming out late, building a queer community 9:42 Pursing love with a friend 12:00 Girlfriend breakup, crew breakup 15:44 The stories we tell ourselves and friendship ideals 18:10 Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) and cognitive distortions 24:53 Transmuting pain into art 30:00 Accepting what is 33:00 Closing Topics we discuss: Coming out and building community Role that queer families play for newly out folks Romantic relationships within a friend group Friend group ruptures in the wake of breakups Role of compounding factors in coping with loss The role of rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) in grappling with loss  Accepting the loss and moving forward Books The Other Significant Others by Rhaina Cohen Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson Who Deserves Your Love: How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen or End Any Relationship by KC Davis Tools Thought Record exercise to combat distorted thinking Research The Lesbian's Experience of Friendship by Jeanne Stanley pgs. 43-44 Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria definitions from ADDitude and the Cleveland Clinic The lived experience of rejection sensitivity in ADHD - A qualitative exploration PLoS One - Published January 2026 Theme song: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.

In this episode, Bex (she/her) is joined by Aislin (she/her) and Stella (she/they) to discuss what queer community means, how to find and build inclusive spaces, and the challenges of representation in the arts and athletics. They share personal stories, insights, and shoutouts to local queer organizations making a difference. Timestamps  00:00 - Introduction 04:30 - Defining Queer Community 12:15 - Toronto’s Queer Community & Inclusivity 21:00 - Queer Identity & Representation 29:40 - The Importance of Organizing 39:50 - Challenges in Queer Spaces 48:30 - The Role of Art & Performance in Queer Culture 56:10 - Lifting up the Queer Community in Real-time 1:04:15 - Community Shoutouts Where to find us Bex @sexedbeforebed Aislin @queerrunclub & @architectaislin Queer Run Club - Weekly Saturday runs & coffee meetups

  Queer Jock Night Queer Mingle Events 
- Black and Indigenous-run meetups for the lesbian, non-binary, trans and queer community Theme song: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.

1 in 5 university-enrolled women will experience attempted or completed rape. Rape is one of the most underreported crimes - 10% are reported.  A world without rape. A world where sexual violence is rare. This is the goal of Sara's work on Flip the Script, a new Canadian sexual assault prevention program for young cis and trans women to assess, acknowledge and act. This episode is a must-listen for every parent and every young woman.  We talked about how the program works and the positive impact it has had so far. We talked about how young women want to have these conversations about setting boundaries, understanding coercion and pondering what pleasure looks like for them.  We also talked about radical self-love and for women, trusting our gut!  Resources  Globe and Mail Article  Draw The Line  Loveisrespect.org Sexual Assault Centres Near You  Sara's Work Insta @girls.resist Twitter @girls_resist About Flip the Script Sexual Assault Resistance Education (SARE) Centre Theme song: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.

With great attraction comes great sex, forever, right? Not so much.  Dr. Jessica Maxwell studies relationships and sex for a living. With Canadian roots, she's now an assistant professor at the University of Auckland. I learned things from her that I started applying to my own life as soon as the conversation ended. Topics of discussion Sexual fixed mindset vs. growth mindset What factors play into long-term relationship satisfaction?  How often are people having sex? Who else is thinking about how often people are having sex? A neat quiz to tell your partner what you want in bed (or out of it) The Orgasm Gap  What's the best way to meet someone we're compatible with?  How scientific are dating apps?  Double standards & myths  Fun Stuff Sex preferences quiz | Mojo Upgrade  List of researchers Jessica mentioned along with media coverage of their work:  Terri Fisher | LA Times | Who lies more about sex, men or women?  Sam Joel | The Cut | It's All Too Easy to Ignore Relationship Dealbreakers Amy Muise | Science Daily | Couples who have sex weekly are happiest  Lindsey Hick | Global News | Are you lying to yourself about how much sex you need in your relationship?  Theme song: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.

In 2019, I traveled to South Africa and Namibia. While visiting Cape Town, I went on a Township Tour with Lele Mbinda and visited his hometown of Langa just outside Cape Town. Lele opened my eyes to not only how people live day to day in Langa, but also how sex is viewed by adults and youth. Heads up that this episode includes a discussion about rape.  We talked about the following topics as they pertain to Langa Township:  the intersection of poverty, class, race, intergenerational differences and culture in how residents talk or rather, do not talk about sex the many obstacles to speaking openly about sex and asking questions dating for young people  the impact of menstruation on young women lack of awareness regarding harassment and rape suggestions for how to move forward and create more open dialogue  local perspectives on LGBTQ folk  STEM programming for youth The iThuba Project Learn More  The iThuba Project   Lele's Website   Episode Sources https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Langa,_Cape_Town https://www.westerncape.gov.za/general-publication/teenage-pregnancy https://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-45889366 https://hivhealthclearinghouse.unesco.org/library/documents/sexuality-education-south-africa-three-essential-questions Theme music: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.

Jessica Ruano is the director of The Ghomeshi Effect, a dance-theatre performance about sexual violence and the legal system in Canada.  This interview stayed with me long after I stopped recording. With the proliferation of #metoo narratives in the media, this conversation is a much-needed dissection of sexual violence from several vantage points. Jessica doesn't give quick and easy answers, instead, she approaches this murky issue meticulously, using stories and research to punctuate her points.  Together, we grappled with these questions and more:  What kinds of people commit sexual violence? Are there good people and bad people?  Is it possible to reconcile our perception of a "good" person with something horrible they've done? Is it possible for someone who has raped someone else to atone for it and/or be forgiven?  How much do we want to exclude people who have committed such acts and with what goal in mind? Can or should a guilty person be brought back into a community?  Does ostracizing the guilty help the problem?  How common are false rape accusations, really? How can art heal survivors?  Links The Ghomeshi Effect Hannah Gadsby's Nanette Trailer Ottawa Coalition to End Violence Against Women Theme music: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. Edited for time and volume.

A fascinating discussion with Rick Goodwin. Rick is at the forefront of Canadian programming for men who have experienced sexual and/or physical childhood abuse. The statistics and the impact are alarming to say the least. Rick relays two decades of experience in a concise way and we still found time to talk about #metoo, Netflix, the US military and more.  Timestamps  0:34 Intro — Rick Goodwin & Men in Healing 3:13 How the Men's Project ended and why male survivors feel invisible 4:03 The scale of the problem: 1 in 6 boys, 3 million men across Canada 6:26 Why men wait 35 years on average before seeking help 8:02 Trauma's downstream cost: addiction, incarceration, social harm 9:02 Trauma and the criminal justice system 11:57 Shame, grandiosity, and Western masculinity 16:23 How Me Too has affected male clients 19:49 The Three Steps of Emotional Integrity 28:07 On forgiveness Topics When men experience trauma, how long do they tend to keep it secret? What is emotional integrity and why are more men interested in it now? How is #metoo impacting male survivors of sexual violence? How do ideas about Western masculinity foster a sense of shame for men? How does trauma impact the lives of men and the people around them and what can survivors do to start healing? Links Men and Healing 1in6 The Bristlecone Project Theme music: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. Edited for time and volume.

Sex Myths Uncovered is a panel I was asked to host in Toronto. If you ever wanted to hear a complex, nuanced, high-level conversation about sex politics, this is it! A groundbreaking, funny, frank conversation from five very distinct, brilliant vantage points. We asked the public to submit questions in advance and answered them on air. 'Twas awesome! Sex Myths Uncovered will unbox the mysteries, misunderstandings, and curiosities surrounding women’s sexual health. The conversations explore both the physiological and the psychological, with voices from the medical community, sex work activism and sexual health education. Panelists will share their experiences from the Toronto sex community and beyond, opening up the discussion with the audience at the end for a Q&A. Panelists Veronica Kazoleas, M.A, Founder of The Nookie // Veronica Kazoleas, M.A. is an award-winning social psychologist and former healthcare executive. @thenookieshop Allison M. Dalby, RN, MN-NP (candidate) // Allison has worked in sexual health throughout her nearly nine-year career as a Registered Nurse. Claire AH, Matchmaker, Sex and Dating Coach/Educator, Disability Advocate // Claire AH is a matchmaker for Friend of a Friend Matchmaking, working with the Toronto LGBTQ+ community and the entire Hamilton population. www.ClaireAH.com Instagram: @claireahhhh Ducky Doolittle, Sexual Assault & Violence Intervention Counselor & Pleasure-Based Sex Educator // Ducky is a Sexual Assault & Violence Intervention Counselor and a pleasure-based Sex Educator. @duckydoolittle  Shriya Hari, Sexual Health Promoter/Community Based Researcher // Shriya Hari is an experienced community based researcher and sexual health promoter based in Toronto Ontario.@shareyournuance @asaaptoronto @kshyamasattic  Theme music: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. Edited for time and volume.

On this episode, I partner with Vanessa and Maggie, hosts of 21 Questions, to speak with revered sex therapist and social worker, Angie Gunn.  Angie addresses our questions about polyamory, also known as consensual non-monogamy, ripping apart misconceptions about people who practice it and how they practice it. She also shares the dramatic life events that led her to this profession and lifestyle.  Hear tidbits on: the myriad ways consensual non-monogamy is practiced the discrimination polyamorists face establishing what you need from a relationship and how to set boundaries control and ownership in monogamous culture poly culture as primarily white and middle class how monogamous folk can be kinder to the poly community Work with Angie Theme music: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. Edited for time and volume.

Sofia Fortin is the founder of the Happy Vagina Project. Her mission is to create connections between the art of sex, feminine woo woo and unleashing your inner awesome. Sofia is a certified sexuality coach and sex educator who is inspired to help women and men reconnect with their inner spark and reignite their love of life and their relationships.    During this enlightening chat, Sofia breaks down what tantra actually is (it's not what you think) and she answers an important question: Does improving your sex life and raising your sexual confidence ripple outwards to other areas of life?    Sofia answers this question through her own rocky road to sexual self-discovery. Her story will make you wonder if your sexual self-esteem and habits are at a 6 when they could be at a 10 and some tactics for finding your peak. She also talks about how new moms struggle with changes to their sexuality.    Sofia offers coaching services for women and couples worldwide, you can learn more here.    The theme song is Rise and Shine by Audiobinger. Edited for time and volume. http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Audiobinger/~/Rise_and_Shine_1696

What happens when a somatic sex educator spends 30 minutes a day masturbating mindfully for 30 days? Caitlin Roberts is a savvy somatic sex educator; she helps people discover how to feel more pleasure using the knowledge that rests in their bodies. Recently she challenged herself to spend 30 minutes a day masturbating mindfully for 30 days - the results were explosive. What does it even mean to m********e mindfully? Get ready to rethink all the ways you get jiggy, 'cause I sure did. Timestamps 0:34 Intro — episode 7 live at Pacific Junction Hotel 1:00 Sex ed segment: abortion pill now subsidized in Ontario, surgical vs. medical abortion explained 3:57 Guest intro: Caitlin K. Roberts — somatic sex educator, blogger, CEO of alt porn company Spit 5:00 What Spit is and why mainstream porn creates unrealistic expectations about sex 6:44 The impact of boys watching porn from age 13 10:06 Polyamory 101 — how common it is, how much communication it requires, and jealousy as a secondary emotion 14:46 How to get involved in the poly community 15:20 Main topic: mindful masturbation and somatic sex education 17:06 Caitlin's 10-year masturbation pattern — and why she had to break it 18:34 Using fantasy to orgasm with partners and the cost of checking out 21:00 Exploring beyond the c**t — genital numbness, rebuilding sensation, the parts we ignore 24:13 The two states of arousal (excitement vs. enjoyment/bliss) and how to weave them together 26:05 Working with trauma through touch — what somatic sex education sessions actually look like 28:19 How the body stores trauma and how somatic work helps release it Caitlin's blog to be a slut.  Source: Human Sexuality in a World of Diversity, Fifth Canadian Edition by Spencer A. Rathus; Jeffrey S. Nevid; Lois Fichner-Rathus; Alexander McKay Theme song: "Rise and Shine" by Audiobinger, sourced from the Free Music Archive. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. Edited for time and volume.

Karen B.K. Chan is a legendary sex educator in Toronto, Canada. For more than 20 years, she's been teaching youth, adults and couples about sex, sexuality and emotional intelligence, but I first learned about her when someone showed me a clip of her talking about consent. She was chill, funny, and gave her audience a lot of respect. I could see how her approach worked. Consent is one of the main reasons I wanted to be a sexual educator and it was a privilege to talk about how vague and messy consent navigation is with someone so well versed in the topic. Expect to hear a nuanced chat about: - what does consent look like when you're drunk or high? - how to establish boundaries - rejection strategies - what emotional literacy looks like - what it's like for Karen to teach people who are homophobic or racist - strategies for confronting racism and homophobia in your own family or friend group The theme song is Rise and Shine by Audiobinger. Edited for time and volume.

Wes Heney was born female. That is, he had the anatomic composition or body of a person most people would see as female. As Wes reached puberty, he grew breasts that he detested. He dressed like a guy and wanted to be treated as such. He sensed a profound disconnect between his body (anatomic sex) and who he felt he was - his gender identity. In episode 4, Wes tells the unforgettable full story. I ask some basic questions about: What's it like taking testosterone?  What kind of stigma did you encounter?  What was your transition process? The theme song is Little Lily Swing by Tri-Tachyon.

Veronica is a social psychologist, and the owner of The Nookie, a downtown Toronto sensuality shop. V describes her escape from corporate life into value-based entrepreneurship, manifested in a sex shop that urges all genders to seek more pleasurable experiences.  The theme song is Little Lily Swing by Tri-Tachyon. Edited for time and volume.