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Download:  From Self-Blame to Self-Compassion Recovery Worksheet. Are you your own worst enemy in recovery? This episode tackles the hidden barrier that keeps many people stuck in addiction - a harsh inner critic. Hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore how self-blame can sabotage recovery efforts and share research-backed strategies for developing self-compassion. Drawing from Dr. Kristen Neff's groundbreaking research, they explain why being kind to yourself isn't just "feel-good talk" but a powerful tool for lasting change. The hosts break down practical steps to transform your inner dialogue and explain why self-compassion actually leads to better accountability than harsh self-criticism. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers actionable tools to break free from shame and build lasting resilience. Key Topics The difference between self-compassion and self-excuseResearch evidence supporting self-compassion in recoveryHow shame fuels addiction cyclesPractical steps to develop self-compassionThe role of community support in building self-compassionConnection between self-compassion and accountabilityTools for identifying and transforming your inner critic Key Timestamps [00:01:23] Why we're kinder to others than ourselves [00:03:35] Understanding the trap of self-blame [00:05:02] Introduction to Dr. Kristen Neff's research [00:07:34] Self-compassion vs. making excuses [00:08:23] Practical steps for developing self-compassion [00:11:36] The importance of common humanity [00:14:31] Different timelines for change See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of The Addicted Mind, Duane Osterlind talks with Noel Rihm and Bill Brady, founders of Kaleidoscope. Both Noel and Bill spent decades as high-functioning professionals—Noel in healthcare leadership and Bill as a high-powered Wall Street lawyer—while battling severe, life-threatening alcoholism. After years of being labeled "treatment resistant" by traditional rehabs, they discovered that the problem wasn't their lack of willpower; it was that the root cause—unprocessed trauma—had never been addressed. They discuss how EMDR, psychedelic-assisted therapy, and a "bespoke" approach to healing allowed them to move from "white-knuckling" sobriety to living as "unburdened souls." Guests: Noel Rihm A veteran of the healthcare industry for over 25 years, Noel struggled with alcoholism for three decades. Despite cumulative years in residential treatment and AA, she found true liberation through EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), which resolved the trauma symptoms that had driven her addiction for 30 years in just six sessions. Bill Brady Bill spent 25 years in Wall Street finance and private equity. To the outside world, he was "killing it," but internally, he was consuming up to two liters of vodka a day. After traditional treatments failed and hope was gone, Bill found a "miracle" through psychedelic therapy, which allowed him to forgive himself and reconnect with his life. Key Discussion Points 1. The Myth of the "Treatment Resistant" Addict The Problem: Traditional rehab often treats the habit without addressing the pain driving it.The Reality: If treatment isn't working, it is often a failure of the protocol, not the patient. 2. Redefining Trauma The Definition: Trauma is not what happened to you; it is how your nervous system responds to what happened.The "Paper Cut" Effect: Small, recurring "little T" traumas—like a dismissive remark in childhood—can create a false narrative of unworthiness that persists for decades. 3. The Kaleidoscope Model: The Arc of Healing Stabilization: Getting the body and mind regulated.Preparation: Gentle, trauma-informed work to prepare the soul for a shift.The Shift: Utilizing tools like EMDR, psychedelic therapy, or somatic processing to "unhook" from the trauma.Integration: The most critical phase—having a "Sherpa" (permanent coach) to help apply insights to daily life. 4. The "Sherpa" and Family Healing The Sherpa Model: Unlike traditional rehab where the relationship ends at discharge, Kaleidoscope provides a permanent guide to help navigate the "scavenger hunt" of resources in the local community.Healing the System: In the final week of treatment, spouses and significant others are invited to undergo their own healing, ensuring the addict doesn't return to a toxic or unhealed home environment.Memorable Quotes "From the outside, it looked like I was killing it. From the inside, it looked like I was killing myself." — Bill Brady "Unprocessed trauma is like a keg of dynamite waiting to go off. I knew how to address my trauma: Two liters of vodka reliably would get me into a blackout." — Noel Rihm "It’s not about not drinking. It’s about not wanting to." — Bill Brady Resources Mentioned Kaleidoscope:Innovation Lab: Kaleidoscope’s research-driven facility in Cabo, focused on clinical rigor and tracking healing outcomes.Key Therapies: EMDR, Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy, and Somatic Processing. Links to Guests Below: LinkedIn/Noel Rihm LinkedIn/Bill Brady Kaleidoscope Ventures Smashed: Sober (with a Twist) Contact The Addicted Mind: Website: theaddictedmind.com Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome back to The Addicted Mind Podcast. This week, we are diving deep into the transformative work of therapy pioneer Virginia Satir. Joining us is Teresa McClellan, a seasoned expert with 18 years of experience across the therapeutic spectrum—working with couples, families, and groups of all kinds. Teresa is currently doing groundbreaking work by applying Satir’s methods within a men’s prison, witnessing firsthand how these "growth-oriented" practices can revolutionize addiction recovery. A Visionary Ahead of Her Time Virginia Satir’s approach was revolutionary, prioritizing human connection long before modern neuroscience caught up to prove why it works. While traditional models often focus on the "pathology" of a person (what’s wrong with them), Satir’s model focuses on growth and the untapped potential within every individual. In this episode, we explore how Satir’s emphasis on the "experiential"—feeling emotions within the body and using imagery—creates a bridge for those in recovery to finally reconnect with their true selves. Episode Highlights The Growth Model vs. Pathology: Why shifting the focus from "the problem" to "the person" changes the recovery trajectory.The Experiential Shift: How the Satir Method moves therapy from a mental exercise to a felt, physical experience.Somatic Recovery: Understanding how emotions are stored in the body and how to fill those "gaps" in the healing process.Satir in the Modern Age: How her decades-old practices align perfectly with our current understanding of brain science and psychology.Recovery Behind Bars: Teresa shares the amazing results of using imagery and experience to help incarcerated men rediscover their humanity. Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Download: Vulnerability Transforms Recovery Worksheet. Ever wonder why showing your true self feels so terrifying, yet could be the very key to your healing? In this powerful episode, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind explore how embracing vulnerability, despite its discomfort, can become your greatest strength in recovery. Drawing from both research and real-world experience, they break down why many of us hide behind masks and how this actually hinders our healing journey. The hosts share practical strategies for safely opening up to others and building authentic connections, backed by insights from Dr. Brené Brown's groundbreaking research on shame and vulnerability. Whether you're struggling with addiction, trauma, or mental health challenges, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming vulnerability from a perceived weakness into a powerful tool for recovery and personal growth. Download:  Vulnerability Transforms Recovery Worksheet. Key Topics The connection between vulnerability and authentic healingWhy we resist being vulnerable and its impact on recoveryResearch evidence supporting vulnerability in recoveryThe myth of "fixing yourself" before seeking helpFive practical steps to practice healthy vulnerabilityFinding safe spaces and people for sharingManaging intimacy backlash and self-compassion Timestamps [00:01:16] Understanding masks and hiding in recovery [00:03:45] The role of shame in avoiding vulnerability [00:07:09] Research insights on vulnerability as strength  [00:11:42] Five practical steps to develop vulnerability [00:13:43] The importance of self-compassion [00:15:18] Managing intimacy backlash [00:16:31] Resources and community support See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of The Addicted Mind, host Duane Osterlind sits down with Dr. Judy Rosenberg, founder of the Psychological Healing Center, to dive deep into the psychology of smoking addiction. Dr. Rosenberg shares her journey from the early days of aversion therapy at the Schick Center to developing her transformative "Mind Map" for healing. They move beyond the surface-level habit of nicotine to explore the "hole in the soul"—the childhood wounds and narcissistic injuries that often drive us to "fill" ourselves with substances rather than finding true "fulfillment." Key Highlights & Themes The Failure of Aversion Therapy: Why "shocking" people out of a habit often leads to high relapse rates if the underlying psychological cause isn't addressed.The "Hole in the Soul": Identifying the childhood wounds—physical, sexual, verbal abuse, neglect, or narcissistic injury—that create a void we try to fill with cigarettes.Filling vs. Fulfilling: A powerful distinction between using a substance to temporarily plug a hole (the "vampire effect") versus generating internal light and generative health.The Narcissistic Cigarette: How we assign value to an object that drains our health, money, and power, much like a toxic relationship.The Three Smoking Personalities: * The Comfort Smoker: Seeking the attunement and nurturing missed in early childhood.The Control Smoker: Using the cigarette to manage a chaotic or unpredictable environment.The Performance Smoker: Using nicotine to "show up," create, or please others, often rooted in narcissistic wounds.Destination Disgust: How to use the emotion of disgust as a protective mechanism to "unhook" from the addiction and view the substance as the poison it truly is.The Oxygen Trick: Recognizing that the "relief" of a cigarette often comes from the deep breath of the inhale, which the cigarette then "hijacks" and takes credit for. The Mind Map for Healing Identify childhood wounds and the "cracked lens" of perception.Decode the "poison" of negative core beliefs (e.g., "I don't matter").Recode the psyche into a state of health, power, and self-causality.Guest Resources Website: Psychological Healing CenterBooks: * Kick It: Stop Smoking and Be the Cause of Better Outcomes for Your LifeBe the Cause: Healing Human DisconnectYouTube: Dr. Judy WTF (What the Freud) – Over 500 episodes on healing from narcissistic abuse and addiction.Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Download: 5 Crucial Mindset Shifts for Addiction Recovery Worksheet. Ever felt like you're stuck in a never-ending battle with addiction? You're not alone. In this eye-opening episode of Addictive Mind Plus, hosts Duane and Eric Osterlind dive into the game-changing world of mindset shifts in recovery. They reveal that beating addiction isn't just about willpower – it's about rewiring your brain. The duo kicks things off by exploring why so many of us fall back into old habits, even when we're trying our hardest to change. They argue that the key to lasting recovery lies in how we think about ourselves, our addiction, and our future. It's not just about following rules; it's about embracing a whole new way of seeing the world. Throughout the episode, Duane and Eric break down five crucial mindset shifts that can transform your recovery journey. They explain how simple changes in thinking can open up a world of possibilities and help you build the skills and support network you need to thrive. One of the most powerful ideas they discuss is the shift from seeing relapse as a failure to viewing it as a learning opportunity. This change in perspective can help reduce shame and build resilience, making it easier to bounce back and stay on track. The hosts also dive into the importance of recognizing that recovery is a journey, not a destination. This shift can help listeners stay present and focused on their growth, rather than getting discouraged by setbacks. By the end of the episode, listeners will have a toolbox of mental strategies to help them navigate the ups and downs of recovery. Whether you're just starting out or have been on this path for a while, this episode offers fresh insights and practical tips to help you rewrite your recovery story. Key Topics The importance of mindset in addiction recoveryMoving from "I am my addiction" to "I am a person in recovery"Viewing recovery as a journey rather than a destinationShifting from relying on willpower to building skills and supportReframing relapse as a learning opportunityRecognizing personal power and choices in recoveryPracticing self-compassion throughout the recovery process Timestamp • [00:01:20] Introduction to the five crucial mindset shifts • [00:03:00] Discussing the first mindset shift: "I am a person in recovery" • [00:04:57] Exploring the second shift: "Recovery is a journey" • [00:07:00] Examining the third shift: "I need skills and support" • [00:09:52] Delving into the fourth shift: "Relapse is a learning opportunity" • [00:12:32] Discussing the final shift: "I have choices" • [00:15:30] Concluding thoughts and advice on implementing mindset shifts See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a powerful episode featuring Jesse Crosson, author of The Best Part of Prison and founder of the Second Chancer Foundation. Jesse shares his incredible journey from being an 18-year-old sentenced to 32 years in prison to becoming a leading voice in restorative justice and cultural change. Whether you are struggling with a physical "prison" or an emotional one, Jesse’s insights on vulnerability, routine, and radical acceptance offer a roadmap for anyone looking to reclaim their life from the darkness. 🎧 In This Episode, We Discuss: The "Ping-Pong Ball" Existence At 18, Jesse was "running from something he couldn't name," using substances and chaos to numb a deep-seated feeling of unworthiness. He describes the "insanity" of reacting to his environment rather than living with intention—a pattern that led to a robbery, a shooting, and a decades-long sentence. The Reckoning: Sitting with the Silence Jesse explains how being arrested was a "blessing" because it forced him to stop running. Locked in a cell with nothing but a blank wall, he had no choice but to sit with the fears he had spent his life avoiding. He discovered that when you finally make space for the pain, it loses its power to consume you. Redefining Guilt and Accountability A pivotal moment in Jesse’s journey came from a prison psychologist who taught him that guilt is a signal, not a life sentence. * The Lesson: Guilt is a flashing sign that something needs to change. Once you change the behavior and step into accountability, you are not meant to carry the weight of that guilt forever. The Power of "Second Chances" Jesse shares the story of helping a fellow incarcerated man—a "giant" everyone feared—earn his GED. This act of service provided a sense of meaning that no worldly success could match. This eventually led to the founding of the Second Chancer Foundation, which uses storytelling to change the culture surrounding incarceration and reentry. The "Prison" of the Mind During a mentor session at South by Southwest (SXSW), Jesse realized that Fortune 500 CEOs and incarcerated individuals often struggle with the same "imposter syndrome" and feelings of being "not enough." He argues that we are all seeking freedom from some form of internal confinement. ✨ Key Takeaways: Accountability is the First Step to Freedom: Radical acceptance of "what is" (rather than what "should be") is the only way to move in a new direction.Routine as a Tool for Sanity: Transformation began for Jesse with the simple, controllable task of cleaning his cell. Small wins build the foundation for big changes.Vulnerability is Power: Sharing your "why" and your struggles doesn't take your power away—it connects you to others and opens doors that logic and "professionalism" cannot.Service is Redemption: We find our own healing by helping the person we used to be. 💬 Notable Quotes: "I was running from something and I didn't know what it was... I'd run to relationships, drugs, alcohol—anything to numb that pain." "Accountability is the first step to freedom. Radical acceptance of what is right now gives us the freedom to make different decisions." "Your wiring may explain you, but it doesn’t excuse you." "We are all incarcerated in some way, whether we have bars around us or handcuffs on our wrists. We’re all seeking freedom, but we don't always know how." 🔗 Resources Mentioned: Book: The Best Part of Prison: The Power of Second Chances and Reclaiming Life Out of DarknessFoundation: The Second Chancer FoundationConnect with Jesse: Follow @JesseCrosson on social media or visit JesseCrosson.com. Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, Duane Osterlind sits down with Mitchell Osmond, founder of Dad Nation, to discuss the unique challenges faced by career-driven men. Mitchell shares his powerful personal journey from the brink of divorce, $100,000 in debt, and substance struggle to a life of health and purpose. The conversation explores why the very skills that make men successful in the boardroom often sabotage them in the living room, and how to bridge the gap between professional power and personal connection. Key Highlights The Paradox of the "Successful" Man Many men feel respected and competent at work but powerless and disconnected at home. Mitchell explains that the tools of business—logic, efficiency, and detachment—don't translate to intimate relationships. The Struggle: Feeling like a "powerful leader" from 9-to-5 and a "robot" or "stranger" from 5-to-9.The Sabotage: Using workplace attributes to solve emotional problems, which often leads to further isolation.The Two Turning Points: A Fight and a Funeral Mitchell reflects on the "brutal, painful journey" that led to his transformation: The Fight: A massive argument with his wife that made him realize he was on the verge of losing everything.The Funeral: While singing at a funeral, Mitchell heard a question that changed his life: "Are you living a life worthy of imitation?" He realized his current legacy was one of alcoholism and debt, and he chose to put a "stake in the ground."The Three Pillars of Transformation Mitchell breaks down the process of change into three distinct phases: Information: Gaining the knowledge (though he warns we are "starving for wisdom" despite an abundance of data).Implementation: Taking action on that knowledge.Transformation: The result of consistent implementation, usually found within community and accountability.Understanding "Normative Male Alexithymia" The duo discusses the concept of Alexithymia—the lack of words for emotions. The "Lone Wolf" Trap: Society often teaches men to "stuff it down," leading to a lack of emotional intelligence.The Solution: Practicing emotional communication as a skill, using tools like the "Rise Conversation Ladder" or even simple emoji charts to identify feelings.The "Middle Way" of Masculinity Mitchell rejects the extremes of "hyper-masculinity" (toxic/aggressive) and "passive-masculinity" (pushover). "I’d rather be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war." He advocates for being courageous yet compassionate—strong enough to protect the family, but meek enough to sit and listen to a daughter’s feelings. Notable Quotes "You are the most qualified to help the person you used to be." — Mitchell Osmond (referencing Ed Mylett)"Time is the only currency that we spend without knowing the remaining balance.""Your wiring may explain you, but it doesn’t excuse you."Resources & Links Dad Nation Website: dadnationco.comSocial Media: Follow Mitchell on Instagram (Search: Dad Nation)The Addicted Mind: theaddictedmind.comTool Mentioned: The Hoffman Institute’s Feelings List.Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Download: Identify And Regulate Worksheet Have you ever felt a whirlwind of emotions but couldn't pin down exactly what you were feeling? You're not alone. Many people, especially those on the road to recovery, struggle to identify their emotions. This episode of "The Addicted Mind" podcast dives into the crucial skill of recognizing and naming our feelings. Hosts Duane and Eric explore why pinpointing emotions is so important, especially for those battling addiction. They explain that many people used substances or behaviors to cope with overwhelming or confusing feelings. Learning to identify emotions is a key step in breaking free from destructive cycles. The hosts introduce a practical tool: asking yourself specific questions to figure out which emotion you're experiencing. They walk through examples for emotions like fear, envy, anger, shame, and guilt. By answering these targeted questions, listeners can better understand their emotional state. Duane and Eric stress that accurately identifying emotions is crucial for "checking the facts" – a method discussed in a previous episode. Once you know what you're feeling, you can examine if your emotional response fits the situation. This allows you to "adjust the volume" of your emotions – either dialing them up or down as needed. The hosts share real-life examples of how this process has helped people. In one case, a client realized they were feeling shame rather than guilt, leading to a breakthrough in their healing journey. Listeners are encouraged to practice this skill and to join a live "deep dive" session for more in-depth learning. The hosts also offer a downloadable worksheet to help listeners work through identifying different emotions on their own. Download: Identify And Regulate Worksheet Key Topics The importance of identifying specific emotions in recoveryUsing targeted questions to pinpoint emotionsExamples of questions for fear, envy, anger, shame, and guiltHow emotion identification connects to "checking the facts"Real-life impacts of accurately naming emotionsResources for further learning and practice Timestamps 0:00 - Introduction and importance of emotion identification 2:43 - Connection to previous "Check the Facts" episode 5:43 - Exploring fear as an emotion 7:10 - Discussing envy and its complexities 8:05 - Examining anger and its various triggers 10:13 - Distinguishing between shame and guilt 13:43 - Closing thoughts and resources for listeners See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, Duane Osterlind sits down with Dr. Alexandra Katehakis, founder of the Center for Healthy Sex, to explore the complex relationship between shame, affect dysregulation, and addiction. Dr. Katehakis breaks down why shame isn’t just a "bad feeling" but a survival-based biological process rooted in our nervous system and early childhood development. Key Highlights 1. What is Shame? (The Gut Connection) Shame is a pro-social function embedded in the human organism from birth. Unlike many other emotions, shame is primarily located in the enteric nervous system (the gut). The Biology: When we experience shame, we feel a visceral "drop." This is a rapid shift from a high-dopamine state (joy or excitement) to a low-dopamine state (collapse).The "No" Moment: Around 18 months, a child experiences the "genesis of shame" when a parent must use a firm "No" to protect them. In a healthy relationship, this is a temporary state. 2. Rupture and Repair: The Building Blocks of Resilience Healthy Dyad: A parent shames a child (rupture) but immediately follows up with soothing and "motherese" (repair). This teaches the child’s nervous system how to regulate itself.Toxic Shame: When shaming is chronic and unrepaired, "states become traits." The child remains in a collapsed, shame-based state, leading to pathological dissociation or chronic depression. 3. Addiction as "Auto-Regulation" Dr. Katehakis posits that addiction is often a result of affect dysregulation. If a person lacks the internal capacity to regulate their emotions (due to a lack of interactive regulation in childhood), they turn to external sources to "auto-regulate." The Cycle: People use substances or behaviors (sex, gambling, shopping) to escape the painful, "dead" feeling of a shame-based core.The Body: Chronic shame results in low dopamine tone, often manifesting as a "limp" or depleted physical presence. 4. Shame and Identity Shame deeply impacts how we view ourselves and interact with the world: External Locus of Control: Without internal regulation, people look outward for validation, often leading to poor boundaries and becoming susceptible to exploitation.The Victim/Perpetrator Paradox: In adulthood, those with toxic shame may "perpetrate from a victim position." They use their shame to avoid accountability, forcing partners to caretake them rather than addressing the original issue. Recovery and Hope Healing from chronic shame is a long-term process (often 3–5 years), but change is possible: Ownership: Admitting to the behaviors and secrets without defense or minimization.Community: Utilizing 12-step programs or therapy to experience "interactive regulation" with others.Healthy Shame: Learning to use shame as a pro-social "lane marker" that helps us stay in integrity, rather than a weight that collapses our identity."You can't undo shame by yourself. You really have to have a community of concern to help you through it." — Dr. Alexandra Katehakis Resources Mentioned Books: Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation by Alexandra Katehakis.Experts: Allan Schore (Affect Regulation), Bruce Perry (Trauma and Development), Dan Siegel (Attachment).Center for Healthy Sex: Located in Los Angeles, CA.  Sex Addiction as Affect Dysregulation: A Neurobiological Relational Model https://theaddictedmind.com/ Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, Duane Osterlind sits down with Dr. Rachel Docekal to discuss the shifting landscape of youth addiction and mental health. With over 40 years of history, the Hanley Foundation is moving beyond the "Just Say No" era into evidence-based prevention that addresses the root causes of use: isolation, digital addiction, and the mental health fallout of the post-COVID world. Key Takeaways The "Double Whammy" of COVID & Smartphones: Dr. Docekal highlights how the combination of pandemic isolation and the rise of social media "highlight reels" has created a surge in anxiety and depression among youth.The Shift in Treatment: For the first time, the Hanley Center has had to dedicate primary beds specifically to mental health (not just detox), reflecting a crisis where substances are often a secondary symptom of internal distress.The THC Trap: They discuss the alarming trend of high-potency marijuana causing psychiatric breaks in young people—and the frightening reality that for some, the cognitive changes may be permanent.Connection Over Correction: The core of the issue is often a loss of "true human connection." From families on phones at dinner to the addictive nature of algorithms, the "nemesis" in the pocket is often the biggest barrier to wellness. Innovative Prevention Programs The Hanley Foundation is pioneering programs that treat students with dignity rather than just discipline. Program Focus Replacing "Zero Tolerance"Instead of suspension/expulsion, students caught using enter a series of counseling sessions that include their parents.Alcohol Literacy ChallengeDe-bunking MythsThis program uses science to show kids that the "positive" effects they expect from alcohol (confidence, better dancing) are actually psychological, not pharmacological.A Note for Parents: The Power of "Just Being" When asked for her #1 piece of advice for parents and educators, Dr. Docekal offered a grounding perspective: "You don’t have to have the answer; you just have to have the presence. Just be with your kid. Your job is to listen—not to talk, not to demand, and certainly not to solve." Resources Mentioned in this Episode Prevention Services: HanleyFoundation.orgTreatment Services: HanleyCenter.orgSupport Hotline: 844-502-HOPE (4673)The Addicted Mind Website: TheAddictedMind.com Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Download: BUILDING YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK AND ASKING FOR HELP Have you ever felt like reaching out for help is a sign of weakness? You're not alone. In this eye-opening episode of the Addicted Mind podcast, hosts Duane Osterlind and Eric Osterlind delve into the powerful impact of asking for help on the journey to recovery. Asking for help can be one of the hardest steps in addiction recovery, but it's also one of the most crucial. Duane and Eric discuss common barriers like shame, denial, and fear of vulnerability that keep people from seeking the support they need. They share personal stories and insights from their experiences as therapists, emphasizing that recovery flourishes in connection and not in isolation. Listen in as they break down five key internal beliefs that often prevent people from reaching out and offer practical advice on overcoming these hurdles. By the end of the episode, you'll understand why seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a profound act of courage and strength. Key topics • The 5 main barriers to asking for help in addiction recovery • Why social support is crucial for maintaining long-term sobriety • How childhood experiences can affect our ability to seek help • The importance of vulnerability in the recovery process • Practical steps to overcome the fear of asking for support • Free resources to help build your support network Timestamps [00:01:06] Introduction to the importance of asking for help in recovery [00:03:51] Discussing the 5 internal beliefs that prevent people from seeking help [00:04:12] Exploring shame and stigma as barriers [00:05:26] Addressing denial in addiction [00:06:34] The fear of vulnerability and its roots [00:08:00] Self-reliance mindset and its impact on seeking help [00:09:57] Dealing with hopelessness in addiction recovery See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of The Addicted Mind, we dive deep into the world of experiential therapy with Steve Buckby, a seasoned therapist with over 50 years of experience. Steve shares his profound insights into the Virginia Satir Model and how its principles of change, the "Mandala," and the "Iceberg" can be powerful tools for those struggling with addiction. We explore the idea of addiction as a "lover" that must be grieved, the necessity of walking through chaos to find a new status quo, and why the relationship between therapist and client is a collaborative journey of human-to-human connection. Key Takeaways The Process of Change: Change isn’t a straight line; it requires moving from a familiar (even if painful) status quo, through a "foreign element" that sparks chaos, and finally into a new, healthier balance.Addiction as a "Lover": Recovery often involves a grieving process similar to the stages of grief described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Letting go of a substance is often like losing a significant, albeit toxic, relationship.The Satir Mandala: Understanding the physical, intellectual, emotional, sensual, interactional, nutritional, contextual, and spiritual dimensions of ourselves to find true balance.Vulnerability & Connection: Addiction thrives in isolation. Healing begins when we take the risk to be "real" and vulnerable within a supportive community or therapeutic relationship.Education as Empowerment: Understanding the physiology of addiction helps separate the person from the "ism," reducing shame and fostering self-forgiveness. Understanding the Satir Model Steve explains that human beings naturally seek a Status Quo. In addiction, that status quo is the cycle of use. To break it, a "Foreign Element" (a crisis, a choice, or an intervention) must disrupt the system. The Stages of Transformation Old Status QuoThe familiar, predictable way of living (even if dysfunctional). Foreign ElementAn event or realization that makes the old status quo no longer viable.ChaosThe "limbo" period where old patterns don't work and new ones aren't yet formed. Integration Learning new strategies and internalizing resources. New Status Quo A state of higher functioning, self-compassion, and awareness.The "Iceberg Theory" Steve also touches on the Iceberg Theory, which suggests that behavior (the tip of the iceberg) is driven by much deeper levels of feelings, perceptions, expectations, yearnings, and the "Self." "The story is not the problem; the meaning of the story is really important." — Steve Buckby By shifting the meaning we give to our past trauma and choices, we can move from shame to positive-directional change. About Our Guest: Steve Buckby Steve Buckby is a certified social worker and licensed professional counselor based in Escanaba, Michigan. Practicing since the early 1970s, Steve has dedicated his career to outpatient and inpatient care, as well as teaching the experiential methods of Virginia Satir to the next generation of healers. Connect with Steve: Email: [email protected] Mentioned Virginia Satir Global NetworkThe Kübler-Ross Stages of GriefMindfulness PracticesEnjoyed the show? Please consider leaving us a review on iTunes or supporting us on Patreon. Your support helps us bring these vital conversations to those who need them most. Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode of The Addicted Mind, Duane speaks with Nima Rahmany, a former chiropractor turned emotional health educator. Nima shares his profound journey from "success on paper" to a total relational breakdown that forced him to confront his own deep-seated patterns of anxious attachment and fawning. They dive deep into the concept of becoming "trigger-proof," the hidden cost of people-pleasing, and why "shame alchemization" is the secret to a truly authentic life. Whether you are struggling with addiction, burnout, or toxic relationship cycles, this episode offers a roadmap for moving from unconscious reactivity to conscious leadership.   Key Topics & Chapters [01:32] The Wake-Up Call: Nima Rahmany discusses how a crisis in his personal life and a brush with the legal system forced him to look past his professional success and address his defensive reactivity.[03:54] The Cost of Fawning: A breakdown of the "Fawn" response—how suppressing your truth to appease others creates a "bottomless pit" of resentment and physical inflammation.[10:14] Defining the Fawn Response: Nima provides a powerful analogy of how children learn to appease "predators" (caregivers) to survive, and how that evolves into a destructive adult relationship strategy.[14:41] Somatic Impact: Exploring the link between unresolved emotional wounds, fawning, and chronic physical issues like autoimmune diseases and inflammation.[21:00] Loving the Shadow: Why true self-love isn't about liking your "best" parts, but about "unshaming" the parts of yourself you’ve tried to kill off or hide.[27:12] Success vs. Intimacy: Why high-achieving entrepreneurs often crush it in business but fail in relationships, and how the "push energy" of success can actually block emotional safety.[47:26] The Worthiness Inquiry: Nima shares a foundational question for listeners: "I am only worthy of love when..."[52:00] The Heartbeat Realization: A moving story about hearing his son’s heartbeat and rediscovering the concept of inherent worthiness.Quotes "Shame alchemization is the secret to being a human... finding these embarrassing, unacceptable parts of us and really looking to understand them." —  Nima Rahmany "Fawning is when you freeze a part of you in an interaction... you freeze your truth and then you perform niceness." — Nima Rahmany "One size fits all is not real. It’s not real for baseball caps, and it’s not real for recovery plans." — Nima Rahmany "The path to self-love is really about loving your shadow." — Nima Rahmany Understanding the Survival Responses To better understand where "Fawning" fits into our biological safety system, it helps to see it alongside the more commonly known stress responses: Fight: Aggression and boundary-setting.Flight: Avoiding or escaping the threat.Freeze: Numbing out or becoming paralyzed.Fawn: Appeasing the threat to ensure safety.Resources Mentioned The Attachment Style Quiz: Discover if you are anxious, avoidant, or disorganized. [Link provided in bio/show notes]Recovery Demystified: Exploring "Quit Lit" and science-based recovery tools."Unshaming": The work of David Bedrick.About Nima Rahmany Nima Rahmani is the founder of the Trigger-Proof methodology. He helps entrepreneurs and individuals heal attachment wounds to uplevel their capacity for love and leadership. Connect with Nima: Website:https://becometriggerproof.com/Instagram: @nimarahmanyofficial Previous Interview With Nima Rahmany Previous Interview With Dr. Nima Rahmani Follow and Review: We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast. Supporting Resources: If you live in California and are looking for counseling or therapy please check out Novus Mindful Life Counseling and Recovery Center NovusMindfulLife.com We want to hear from you. Leave us a message or ask us a question: https://www.speakpipe.com/addictedmind Disclaimer See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Download: Debunking Common Emotion Myths Worksheet Have you ever felt like your emotions are running the show, pushing and pulling you in directions you don’t want to go? You’re not alone. In this episode of the Addicted Mind Plus, hosts Duane Osterlind and Eric Osterlind dive deep into the world of emotion regulation. They explore common myths about emotions that keep many of us stuck in unhealthy patterns. With practical insights and compassionate guidance, Duane and Eric shed light on how our misunderstandings about emotions can lead to more intense feelings and problematic behaviors. By debunking these myths, they show us how to develop healthier relationships with our emotions, allowing us to make decisions that align with our true goals. Whether you’re struggling with impulsive reactions or avoidance strategies or just want to understand your emotions better, this episode is packed with valuable information that can help you navigate your emotional landscape more effectively. Join Duane and Eric as they explore the myths surrounding emotion regulation and how these misconceptions can hinder our recovery journey. Learn about the importance of understanding your emotions from a biopsychosocial perspective and discover practical tips to regulate your emotions instead of letting them control you. By the end of this episode, you’ll have a better grasp of how to manage your emotions and make decisions that support your well-being. Key Topics Understanding the impact of emotions on decision-makingThe importance of emotion regulation skills in recoveryDebunking common myths about emotionsThe role of avoidance and escape strategies in emotional intensityHow to develop a healthier relationship with your emotionsThe benefits of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) in emotion regulationPractical steps to regulate emotions effectivelyKey Moments [00:01:22] - Introduction to the topic of emotion regulation[00:02:07] - The problem with letting emotions drive our decisions[00:03:00] - Defining emotion regulation and its significance[00:07:19] - Introduction to myths about emotions[00:09:08] - Discussion on the myth: Emotions are bad or dangerous[00:11:44] - Exploring the myth: If I start feeling, I’ll never stop[00:14:00] - Addressing the myth: I should be able to control my emotions See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.