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It’s our hundredth episode, and in the spirit of us being around so long, Remoy takes us back to when the US did unMASK American leadership: with its first woman VP in the White House. Kamala Harris didn’t become president, but let’s not forget what it meant for her to come so close… Her videographer, Azza Cohen, helps us pull back the curtain on what it meant to have Harris’s leadership and the difference she made for men and women everywhere. Remoy loves a guessing game! He takes Samantha on a windy road figuring out how he got to meet this week’s guest, Azza Cohen.After a fun windy game, he taps in Azza Cohen, Kamala Harris’s videographer, to describe what it was like to document the first woman vice president.She describes how Kamala’s leadership made more people feel seen than we realize, with a simple description of herself.Azza describes how some news outlets used her nod toward a marginalized community to diminish her leadership, but it was just conservative ones…Our illustrious guest points out how portrayals of women in the media are directly tied to the public’s perception of them as leaders. Kamala was a perfect example of this.And then a little context about white balance.Azza shares how photography and camera technology principles have racist roots.She reflects on her experience as adapting previous knowledge to different skin tones.Azza shares how Kamala’s leadership impacted her.Azza reflects on the difficulty taking space and having confidence in the workplace, and how Kamala inspired her to do just that in an on-the-job moment.She points out the inherent gender bias that we sometimes have when dealing with kids.Samantha admits having to confront her biases in her own life.Azza shares an anecdote showing how Kamala challenged gender biases in her leadership and the difference it made.What about the fact that Kamala was too centrist for some? Samantha plays devil’s advocate.Azza gives an insightful response about our political system.Azza shares symbolic moments during the transition of power in 2024.How did the former VP handle it?What were those last moments like?Samantha and Remoy reflect on how important it was for Kamala Harris to be in the position she was in.Azza ends with a powerful word on the images we consume, particularly as it concerns the current administration.She wants to remember how women’s leadership is captured in this country and what the impact on our society may be because of it.COMPANION PIECES: Our episode How American Politics REALLY Sees Men & MASKulinity does include Americans’ thoughts about women’s leadership traitsNo, having a woman president would not turn our country into a matriarchy (I think we wish it did kind of?!), but some examples of what women’s leadership could be like would still be helpful. We had talked about matriarchy,It didn’t work out, but some men were still about that Kamala as President lifeReferenced on this episode: That original Slate piece Azza wrote that caught Remoy’s interest? You can read it hereYou can follow Azza on Substack @azzacohenThe image in our episode art is an Official White House photograph by Lawrence Jackson

We're running back this friendly reminder for the holidays! Wishing you and yours a great holiday season and see you in the new year for original MASKulinity episodes! ************************ Episode Notes The holiday season is upon us shortly in the US. Some men will be surrounded by close ones, and some will finally get the R&R they’ve been craving, but many may feel alone. Americans have less and less friends. On this episode, Samantha and Remoy talk through some Survey Center on America Life findings on the state of American friendships. There are many men who have absolutely no friends, and that number is steadily increasing. The hosts get some help to understand how this impacts them during the holiday season.Our resident counselor for men, Justin Lioi, is back to talk about having mental ease during the holidays. He stresses that being alone at this time can be a fulfilling choice but it’s OK to reach out for attention and support if it’s loneliness rather than intentional alone time.Justin helps the hosts understand why reaching out can be difficult for men, how slipping back into old relationship dynamics can make it worse, and how to detect mental distress in the body.COMPANION PIECES: Ignoring it won’t make it go away! How doing the work leads to men’s freedom Special Episode! Getting Free, with Darnell MooreYa can’t pour from an empty cup! How Men Can Take Better Care of ThemselvesReferenced in this episode Terrence Real, therapist author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male DepressionPia Mellody, author of Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our LivesBowling Alone by Robert D. Putnam shows how we people in modern societies have become more and more disconnected from each otherReferenced on the socials STATE OF AMERICAN MEN 2023 FROM CRISIS AND CONFUSION TO HOPE  OUR GUEST THIS WEEK: Justin Lioi Justin Lioi lives in Brooklyn, NY where he has a private practice that specializes in men's counseling. He has worked with families since 2008 and after several years of listening to fathers speak mostly about their children decided to put their needs front and center. He is a former New York actor and Music Together teacher and is an elected member of the National Association of Social Workers. He blogs regularly on men's issues as well as relationships and parenting at  www.ParkSlopeTherapist.com .

Boys can’t wear dresses, they say….but was that always true? This week, Professor Jo Paoletti stops by the pod to let us know why boys stopped wearing dresses. Remoy starts us off with a visual…of none other than himself swagged out in a dress as a baby.You may be thinking to yourself, is that a Texan thing? Is it his worldly background? Nope! Boys used to wear dresses…He taps in Professor Jo Paoletti who gives us the scoop.So all babies used to wear dresses, but what does that mean? Was it always the skirts and lace we see on babies these days? Not exactly….Clothing used to be purely practical and not necessarily a way to announce a kid’s gender through their fashion…In fact, using clothing to distinguish kids’ gender was against the grain for a while…We recently talked about the 1800s as a pivotal era in men’s clothing, but for baby boys and girls, the move was to keep things as gender neutral as possible.There were concerns about boys’ behavior that made dresses the better choice. Listen to find out what behavior society was told to suppress…The clothing choice was not just about suppressing certain behaviors; it was about function. In what sense? Professor Paoletti breaks it down.Color came up in our Fashion Is Resistance episode, but about the babies? Did it start off as blue and pink? Great question - listen to find out….Then the ‘80s happened and a new concern emerged (surprise it’s the ‘80s again)…This time, it’s not Reagan… But what was it that made it suddenly so important to distinguish male and female babies from each other at a glance? Take a guess… It’s not so different from the conundrum we’re facing today…Jo Paoletti charts the evolution from functional to purposely gendered clothing.There was a shift in the family structure that caused a butterfly effect for boys and they were failing to meet expectations… It sounds familiar, doesn’t it?Boys could have been the ones to keep the dresses, but they didn’t; why? Jo paints the picture for us.It wasn’t just young boys’ behavior that was a concern, but young men’s in general.Psychologists got involved in this clothing shift at the turn of the century.The Industrial Revolution strikes again and shifts the currents of fashion for all ages…The distinction between boys and girls in fashion would supposedly help curb “deviant” behavior in men.A familiar refrain starts taking over the conversation on men’s behavior - spending too much time with their mothers… Enter the Boy Scouts, enter sports, anything to keep the MASKulinity in boys.Industries follow the conversation and new choices pop up in stores. Consumerism helps ensure the shift.But when we say boys, it wasn’t all boys… There was a particular ideal that boys and eventually men, would be expected to model.It’s what all roads lead to so far this season…Perhaps the most important point Jo makes in this episode is that we all perform gender in some way… Drag of a sort, if you will.Might come as a surprise, but let us humor you!Was this episode shocking, surprising, old news? Let us know in the comments! Referenced on this episode: Huffpost featured our guest talking about exactly thisGender and Sex Roles in the 1970s Our recent episode, Fashion Is ResistanceCOMPANION PIECES: Our illustrious guest, Jo Paoletti write extensively about this; read more:On SubstackGender MystiqueWhen we talked about Black dandyism and suits with stylist and writer Joe WilkesLong time ago, we talked about the Boy Scouts…We also talked about drag and masculinity…Pinky and the Blue Boy - get a history of how and why color became gendered in this Modern Manhood episode 

Headship? Wives submitting to husbands? Yep, we're talking about Christian MASKulinity this week with the help of theologian and author Dr. James Spencer. The hosts start out by reflecting on how much Christianity has impacted not only their own lives but American life as a whole. What has our society retained as a nation founded by Chiristian men? So much of American culture is based on Christianity, and even folks who aren’t Christian in practice deem themselves culturally Christian. The hosts start by setting the stage for the wide-reaching impact of this conversation.In fairness, it’s not just American life. Samantha and Remoy have a moment about who the oldest Christians are, and they remember one of the first ways Christianity was leveraged to perpetuate a distinct group’s interest…They start dissecting their own Christian experiences… What exactly did these two former Christians learn about gender and masculinity in church? Samantha and Remoy share the views their respective churches had and how it shaped their idea of gender in that context.Remoy puts on his preacher boy hat to recall some of the key principles he remembers about Christianity. And more importantly, what did he teach about manhood and masculinity when he was behind the pulpit?Samantha shares why this episode is important to her as a former Christian and the suspicions her upbringing brought up for her. James addresses her concerns about some biblical intentions.It turns out there are a lot of key differences between Samantha and Remoy’s past Christian learnings and experiences and James’s biblical conclusion of what it means to be a Christian man…Men are expected to be the final decision maker on everything, and people will often turn to the Bible to prove that point. But what if that’s not what God intended? James gives us a theologian’s perspective on what God likely intended.Where exactly in the Bible does it say that men should be in charge? When it comes to marital relationships, a very specific verse tends to come up to justify male leadership, but there seems to be some context missing. Samantha gives us the verse, and James fills in the blanks.The idea of headship comes up consistently when folks cite the Bible as the basis for men’s blanket leadership.It’s not just the biological essentialist claim that men are better leaders in the home because they’re men; it’s supposedly also because God said so. But does the Bible actually back that up? James lets us know.James breaks down how men’s leadership should mirror that of Jesus Christ over the church.And what does that look like in relationships? It’s vastly different from the “do as I say” leadership that some men feel they are owed and entitled to, including Christian ones.James helps us understand what that means for husbands and we hear echoes of shedding the mask that is MASKulinity for the sake of a deeper faith.Like in our Anti-Anti-Porn Episode, we’re seeing how Christianity gets co-opted to further a human-made patriarchal agenda rather than the spiritual life Christians are called on to develop according to James.Christian men don’t have to be married to have integrity with their faith.James gives us insight into what different Christian masculinities can look like, through the story of one of Jesus’s most prolific and significant apostles. We discover that how it looks is far less important that where it comes from…Remoy gives some seldom-talked-about background on how Christianity emerged back in the day like only a former preacher boy would…Samantha ends by bringing up a topic that’s been in the news so much, it’s taken over the image of mainstream Christianity…perhaps (actually definitely) for the worse: Christian nationalism.James provides some important, should-not-be-forgotten-lest-we-want-to-repeat-history context about the merger between church and state and the implications on society…He cites the Barmen Declaration as an example of Christians fighting extremism during Nazi times.There are parallels between nazism and Christian nationalism in the US which James does not equate, but we kinda do!Samantha examines a few tenets from a popular Christian nationalist group.How close do these tenets mirror God’s biblical message? The hosts discuss…Referenced on this episode: Inclusivity & Gender in Christianity - Two religious leaders lend their thoughts to the  gender debate in Christianity todayMyths of Male HeadshipDr. James Spencer’s podcast, Thinking Christian (Samantha mistakenly mentioned Christian First, which is the name of the framework he teaches courses in)The Proud Boys’ 12 tenetsCOMPANION PIECES: What Does Christian Masculinity Really Look Like?, by our guest Dr. James SpencerDiscipled Men: Rethinking Masculinity Through the Lens of Christ from Thinking Christian, our guest’s podcastNotes on Christian MASKulinity - our new Substack pieceThe Anti-Anti-Porn Episode about Christian men and pornRe-Thinking Masculinity: A Blog nn Christian Nationalism

How have we gone this long without talking about it? That’s right… We’re talking about porn this week, but it may not be what you think. Remoy enlists the help of Dr. Kelsy Burke to understand how the term “porn addiction” came to be, and exactly what the folks who came up with this term had in store. It’s hard to believe that Remoy starts this conversation at Christianity, but he does. He sets the tone for the conversation by getting the tea on the hosts’ humble Christian beginnings.Remoy shares how porn and Christianity intersect and the warnings men receive in church.Dr. Kelsy Burke explains how the notion of “porn addiction” and men’s Christianity intersect…and somehow work well together.Why would using the term “porn addiction” be co-opted by Christian men? Kelsy lets us know about that too…Lots of things popped off in the 80s! That includes Christian sex scandals. Listen to Kelsy break down how conservatives of that era bring MASKulinity and the “porn addiction” rhetoric together to control the narrative.What about women? Can they be “addicted” to porn?Soooo, is porn bad or naw??Samantha shares the oxymoron that pops up between cishet men and women.Kelsy goes on to describe how conservatism and conversations around sex in Christian circles lead to upholding the system we all know and (don’t) love.We know at least some of you have heard of No Fap November. Christian men are using this strategy as a show of masculine strength. Guess where this theory/strategy came from…This anti-porn rhetoric and scapegoating is everywhere, including government…  Referenced on this episode: Interested in learning more about all that Dr. Burke’s uncovered? Read more in their book: The Pornography Wars: The Past, Present, and Future of America’s Obscene ObsessionYou can also catch some of the highlights from Dr. Burke’s book over in their 2020 article over at Slate: Sinning Like a ManCOMPANION PIECES: We talked about substance use disorders (addiction at the time) and MASKulinity a long time ago: Figure It Out: The Connection between Masculinity and AddictionAddiction: Men Are Twice as Likely, with Justin Lioi and other New YorkersExploring Commonalities in Addiction, a Mini Field Study 

We’re back with our first original episode of the season! Our guest, Joe Wilkes, culture and policy writer and editor and fashion stylist, takes the mic with us to talk Black Dandyism. Many of us didn’t know this term prior to this year’s MET exhibition and gala theme, Superfine: Tailoring Black Style Our guest gave us some important notes on the role fashion can play for men in resisting the expectations of MASKulinity.. What is Black dandyism? Joe Wilkes gives us a definition and takes us through its origins.You may be surprised to find out where it started… But eventually people made it their own.Having a sense of style for Black men in the 19th and early 20th century was new and hard for some to accept.Extravagance or lack thereof causes people to classify men’s masculinity, especially, BIPOC men’s masculinity—why is that…? Joe’s answer evokes the racial hierarchy of masculinity.The universal suit men wear today wasn’t always the masculine standard... Samantha takes Remoy through where the “dandy” term comes from and the impact it had on menswear.In Europe, aristocratic styles thrived on excess and extravagance, but something we take for granted today was previously reserved for the aristocratic and royal classes.A middle-class man who had an in with the who’s who of Regency London altered the course of menswear for centuries to come. Dandyism becomes a dress code that equalizes classes.Men’s style evolved with the advent of a new age.Understated and tailored styles became the standard for fashion, at least for quite some time. Men of different races embraced dandyism differently. Why is that?How is fashion resistance exactly? Joe helps us understand why fashion was so important to Black men’s identity and dignity.At a certain point, the desire for authenticity and liberation starts to trump survival, a reflection of the times in the ‘60s and ‘70s.But then, to avoid being deemed feminine or being subject to homophobia, men toned their look down. Joe explains how a specific event brought that on.Joe shares a little of his own history, having to alter his look based on the community he was around.But perhaps there is a group of men who are allowed to wear whatever they want with way less criticism…Take a guess which group that is…If cishet men have unspoken requirements to meet what masculinity is supposed to look and dress like, does that mean queer men get more leeway? Joe shares some insights…Fashion is resistance but it’s not just that. Joe ends on a positive note we all need to keep in mind..Some questions we’re still wondering about:How has your own fashion sense evolved? Do you dress to be authentic or to blend in as best as possible? Can the way men dress dictate how masculine they are? Does the way certain men present themselves put manhood and/or masculinity at risk for some people?What do we say to the Brummel-thinking folks who think masculinity requires men to dress with “understated elegance”?Let us know in the comments below!Referenced on this episode: Exploring Dandyism and Black Expression: A Roundtable Discussion; led by our guest Joe WilkesMET’s exhibition Superfine: Tailoring Black StyleMonica L. Miller’s book Slave to Fashion, the inspiration for the MET themeBeau Brummell's Revolution: The Rise of the Modern Men's Suit in the 19th CenturyThe Zoot Suit Riots and Wartime Los AngelesCOMPANION PIECES: History of the Black dandy; more history of Black DandyismDandyism around the worldThe Evolution of Black Masculinity Through Fashion  (TW, expletive used)

This season of MASKulinity is all about Relationships and Resistance, and we're starting with resistance. What does resistance look like as performance art—more specifically, theater? Your favorite literati doy, Remoy George Philip thee First's, latest production, Performing the Revolution, explores this question in a four-part series.We're dropping the first episode in our feed to set the tone for the season. This series is a powerful reminder that community and perseverance are requirements for social change, and that joy and play can be part of resistance. Samantha first interviews journalist and documentarian Ida Hardin, coproducer on the podcast, to get some between-the-lines questions answered. Themes of resilience, grief, and liberation echo through this first episode set in New Delhi. ***** Performing the Revolution, "in India" Meet Jana Natya Manch, a.k.a. JANAM, one of India's storied street theatre companies. We follow their journey from one of their most crucial, catalyzing and tragic moments in the 1980's, all the way through to the work they make today.  Then where can you listen to Performing the Revolution:Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4klSwQSuzly63HdKfGt1ce Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/performing-the-revolution/id1765455380 Everywhere: https://pod.link/1765455380 Referenced on this episode: Some background on Jana Natya Manch (JANAM Theatre)Safdar Hashmi’s leadership at JANAM Performing the Revolution in ConversationCOMPANION PIECES: Performing the Revolution team member Beto O’Byrne stopped by to talk wrestling as escapist for men in The Wrestling Episode Robert and Mabel Williams understood that sometimes resistance is violent. Kellie Carter Jackson told us their story in The Resistance EpisodeOrganizations resisting MASKulinityA short message from Moloyashree Hashmi 

Just to clarify, we’re not talking about a bear succeeding at being chosen over a man in the woods. We mean the show! The Bear continues to be a favorite at TV award shows, and this year is no different. Naturally, your hosts talked about it. But first, they took a look at the show that rivalled it last year with just as many Enny wins. Succession. Your favorite hosts are joined by Professor of Race, Gender and Sexuality at Simmons University, Suzanne Leonard. The crew takes a moment to acknowledge the SAG nominees. We love when deserving people get their flowers.With The Bear being nominated, the crew decides to talk MASKulinity in the show, but first, they talk about a previous winner that reminds us all a bit too much of real life: Succession.Samantha takes us through some interesting facts about the family that Succession is based on.Suzanne lets us know what attracts her about the show. Are you a bit voyeuristic like her and Samantha are when it comes to this show? What is it about miserable rich people that draws our attention?With a quick synopsis of Succession, Samantha breaks down the similarities between the Fox News Murdochs and their fictional counterparts..A power struggle between a father and his children for the head seat of the company, something that provides a particular comment on fatherhood, power, and MASKulinity in our current social and political moment.Why are we talking about this show? Suzanne and Samantha apprise Remoy of why it’s helpful for us to dissect this type of patriarchal leadership.Suzanne makes an important note on mourning traditional media, which feels like it might be dying out, but is it?So much political, economic, and social power is concentrated in families with Murdochs, Trumps, and Maxwells, it’s worth examining the BTS of these powerful families through this show.Exactly how powerful are these nepotistic families? The crew runs down the list of the Murdochs’ empire and their impactful media (and legal) history and MASKulinity.SPOILER ALERT: Samantha presents some scenes from Succession for Remoy to react to. Suzanne weighs in.The fatherhood that Logan Roy displays can be mapped onto Trump’s leadership of both his family and the US as a country: we sustain his legacy.Wielding real power and setting the tone for men’s MASKulinity both in their families and in our larger society are staples of the all-powerful patriarchs.Suzanne highlights the ruthlessness of the powerful masculinity in the fatherhood displayed and how damaging it is to people around the folks who perform that masculinity. It is reflected in all these clips.Remoy makes a poignant point about America’s need for a father figure running the country.The crew continues on to discuss crowd favorite, The Bear. Remoy points out that if Shrinking is the best way to deal with MASKulinity’s woes, and Succession is the most toxic, The Bear falls somewhere in the middle.Remoy provides a great synopsis of the show, highlighting how differently it deals with masculinity compared to Succession.We examine the relationships stemming from Carmy’s newfound leadership.Carmy and Syd’s relationship represents a great mixed-gender leadership collaboration for this show.Richie’s evolution as a person as well as the rest of the cast’s reflected the power of a connected leadership.The Bear deals with mental health in an immensely different way from Succession. Carmy relies on those around him to get better while Kendall schemes while wielding power as his father does.The Bear chronicles changing dynamics in a workplace as does Succession. The three draw out the differences and few similarities between masculinities in the two shows.Suzanne highlights how class creates a different landscape than the opulent SuccessionIn our deep dive, Suzanne shares some great nuggets in her research on gender in powerful structures.We dive into questions about how family structures impacted our recent election of an all-powerful patriarch.We get into how women hold up these power structures. Suzanne’s research has looked at how women’s own power is garnered through all-powerful couples.Suzanne makes points on whiteness and how racial hierarchies impact this all-powerful dynamic.OK, now we’re really outta here! See you soonish! 👋🏾👋🏿 Referenced on this episode: The Murdochs’ own family power struggleHBO’s Succession and our reckoning with male monsters - referenced article by BBC’s Hugh MontgomeryWhen we talked about Shrinking, the nominated show that got mental health rightWhen we talked about some very different TV DadsHow American Politics REALLY Sees Men & MASKulinity - our episode dissecting the PEW reportHow Americans See Men and Masculinity - Pew Research Center report that continues to be relevantPerhaps it’d be helpful to see how men maintain social connections; we talked about it COMPANION PIECES: On The Bear and MASKulinity

In this final episode of the season, Samantha and Remoy tackle a question that’s been at the heart of so many conversations lately: Are men truly lonely? It’s a topic that hits home for so many of us, especially as we think about how gender norms shape not just our actions but our deepest connections. Luckily, The Pew Research Center has been hard at work exploring these very questions. Their latest report, Men, Women, and Social Connections, sheds light on the gendered trends shaping relationships in America today. Samantha had the chance to sit down with Kim Parker, one of the report's lead researchers, to dig into the findings. And in this episode, she brings all those insights back to Remoy.  Samantha starts by asking Remoy a big question: How optimistic is he about life these days? Turns out, his answer puts him in the minority. Pew found that 58% of Americans lean optimistic, while 42% do not.Kim Parker shares the backstory behind this paper and how it fits into Pew’s larger research initiative on gender and masculinity. It’s all part of a broader effort to understand how Americans are thinking and feeling about these issues in real time.The big question: Are men lonelier than women? Samantha reveals the surprising (albeit nuanced) findings to Remoy, and the two dive into why this narrative about men and loneliness has taken hold.Pew’s research uncovered fascinating details about men’s and women’s social networks. On the surface, they don’t look that different. But dig deeper, and you find differences in how men and women use and interact with the people around them.Remoy gets candid about his own experiences, admitting that even with a great support system, reaching out for help as a man still feels like a major challenge.Samantha asks Kim about the connection between this report and Pew’s earlier findings in How Americans See Men and Masculinity. Why do Americans say they want men to be more caring and vulnerable, yet men still struggle to seek support?The loneliness conversation takes an unexpected turn when Samantha reveals which group of people Pew identified as being lonelier than most. Spoiler: It involves the internet—and the way technology has become an inseparable part of their everyday lives.Samantha and Kim unpack how tech dependence can create unique barriers to connection, making it especially hard for this group to break out of loneliness.Finally, Samantha and Remoy reflect on the importance of self-care and taking a step back when needed. With everything happening in the world, it’s a reminder we all need.Important Note: MASKulinity is taking a few months off to rest, recharge, and come back stronger than ever. We’re so grateful to all of you who’ve joined us on this journey. Stay tuned for more powerful, curious stories about how masculinity shapes our world—and how we can reshape it together. See you soon! 👋Referenced on this episode: Here’s that surprising new report–Men, Women and Social ConnectionsHow American Politics REALLY Sees Men & MASKulinity - Our earlier episode analyzing Pew Research Center’s latest report on men and masculinity with report author and Senior Associate Director of Research at PEW Research Center, Juliana Horowitz and Next Gen Men’s Equity Leaders’ Trevor MayohHow Americans See Men and Masculinity - Pew Research Center reportA long time ago, we talked with Yuval Moses about what happens when men are victims of violent crimeBeyond the Binary: Expanding Gender Identity Representation in Data CollectionCOMPANION PIECES: Pew Research Center ‘s study on Americans’ news sourcesMANY young people are getting their news from TikTokMale loneliness is often a topic of conversation

We’re at the start of award season, so it’s a perfect time to continue exploring MASKulinity on TV. This week, Samantha and Remoy walk each other through popular shows they’ve watched and ask, How are men and masculinity represented in these shows? Are they challenging the norm of MASKulinity or reinforcing it? Samantha starts off with a nod to Golden Globe-nominated Nobody Wants This for its evolved masculinity moments. Adam Brody has been in his nurturing masculinity bag since the early 2000s and we’re here for it!She then winds our TVs back to the late ‘90s for a look at a breakthrough TV show at the time: Sex and The City.Remoy questions focusing on men while talking about a show that centers women. At any other time, Samantha would agree, butcher contends that it is helpful to see how women can perpetuate patriarchy.What are men like in a TV show that entirely focuses on the dating and sex lives of attractive women? Samantha reflects back on the different love interests in the show and how their viability as a partner was measured.Carrie’s main love interests, Mr. Big and Aidan, embodied two different sides of the coin that is traditional masculinity. Neither challenge patriarchal norms, still, it’s worth asking: Why would an emotionally unavailable tycoon be a better suited partner than a nurturing provider? Short answer: patriarchal tropes. Long answer: Nice guys finish last in the patriarchy, and SATC is no different.Remoy acknowledges his own past as a Mr. Big type, proving that emotional unavailability doesn't have to be lifelong!Remoy didn’t regret missing the show, but he couldn’t help but wonder, Do these stereotypical dating situations on TV inform our real dating lives or is it the other way around?Patriarchy didn’t just impact dating in SATC. Casual homophobia, racism, and transphobia were peppered throughout the show.The two call out that SATC touted itself as a feminist show, but only explored well-to-do, slim white women’s dating and sex lives. Everyone else does feel othered including men, who are one-dimensional and just meant to be chosen.Samantha admits why she continued to watch the show despite all these tropes. She reflects on her younger self’s patriarchal leanings.There were good things about SATC. While missing clear opportunities to be inclusive and well-rounded in their depictions of dating life in New York City,Where the characters in the MASK On, MASK Off game from our “TV Dads” episode grappled with masculinity, SATC sticks to traditional expectations of masculinity by condensing male characters into three types. [13:00] Do you agree? Let us know!Samantha ends her story with a quick note on the SATC reboot, And Just Like That.People have been vocal about how the show is forcibly inclusive.Samantha shares some examples and opines on how evolved the reboot is compared to the old show.What your verdict? Has this franchise evolved? Holler at us! @ maskulinitypodRemoy takes the mic and picks up where he left off with his new favorite show, Shrinking.In Shrinking, men, and characters in general, are imparted with nuance and humanity that was clearly missing from SATC’s supporting characters.Remoy maintains his fave was snubbed at the Golden Globes and attempts to foster appreciation in Samantha for his new show.He shares a few clips from the show and lets Samantha ask clarifying questions about the show.Cue in intergenerational friendships, community problem-solving, open communication with teenage children, and healthy grey-area relationships between men and women.Shrinking does what And Just Like That attempted to do but in a realistic and relatable manner.Changing neighborhood dynamics leads folks to call out racist behavior, rather than yearning for the past.Remoy breaks down how characters deal with grief and changing dynamics in their lives.Samantha immediately takes to Derek and Remoy gives her the lowdown.In this ensemble cast, there are various folks support each other.The relationship between father and daughter is quite moving.Remoy gives praise to the writing of the show gracefully weaving themesReferenced on this episode: Our episode on TV DadsThe paper that informed Samantha’s gamifying of TV dads? That’s–Laughing at Men: Masculinities in Contemporary SitcomsOur other TV episode: The Fresh Prince and 📺 EpisodeCOMPANION PIECES: Shrinking isn’t the only show demonstrating healthy masculinityToxic Masculinity and Big vs. Aidan: How ‘Sex and the City’s’ love triangle has aged

Going off an earlier episode where Samantha tested Remoy’s musical knowledge, this week Samantha checks in on what Remoy knows about TV. Through round after round, our two co hosts explore how TV dads and masculinity have evolved over the decades. Samantha kicks things off with a clip of Al Bundy and his daughter Kelly. Does Remoy remember anything about this dysfunctional yet iconic duo? And what does our laughter about their relationship on Married With Children tell us about fatherhood three decades ago?Bonus Episode:  Remoy has to know. Was Samantha’s own relationship with her father’s anything like Al and Kelly’s?You can’t not talk 90’s TV Dads and not think TGIF: Samantha highlights a heartfelt moment between Carl and Eddie Winslow, one of the few Black father-son relationships on 90s TV.They break down how Family Matters portrayed manhood and why this mattered for representation at the time.Samantha skips forward a decade or two to show Remoy the ultimate suburban survivalist: Modern Family’s Phil Dunphy has a near-death epiphany on a camping trip. Remoy reflects on how Phil represents a new era of goofy yet emotionally vulnerable TV dads.You can’t not talk TV and not talk animation. But it isn’t Bart and Homer for Samantha. It’s Bob Belcher from Bob’s Burgers who in a tender and hilariously awkward clip bonds with his daughter Tina during a “hairy” situation.Samantha wants to know. Are there any African daughters out there who their father shared in the pain  of getting their legs waxed in solidarity? If so, email us at [email protected] Black father and duo + Schmitt. No it’s not New Girl. It’s The Neighborhood on CBS.TV laugh tracks aside, Samantha and Remoy take a moment to appreciate a really tender and evolved, but not perfect, moment in modern TV.Samantha shows Remoy a lesser seen moment on TV: An immigrant father-son moment from the crowd favorite Fresh off the Boat.A sweet moment portrayed on the screen for an Asian dad. But would huckster chef Eddie Huang, whose life story the show was modeled off of, approve? Would Remoy?What do you think after hearing the clip? Hit us at our inboxes and let us know [email protected] is sold and wants to play. He shares with Samantha a moment from a new comedy he’s been loving. Any guesses to what that series is?Let’s just say Harrison Ford playing a therapist and being vulnerable on screen with Jason Segel and many more is a win for both Samantha and Remoy as they appreciate where TV has come over 30 years.  Referenced on this episode: The paper that informed Samantha’s gamifying of TV dads? That’s–Laughing at Men: Masculinities in Contemporary SitcomsOur guide to navigate being Home ALONE for the HolidaysOur new classic episode: The Fresh Prince and 📺 EpisodeThe original Samantha gaming gem 💎: UnMASKing Masculinity: Music Trivia Edition 🎶Even though Fresh of the Boat isn’t directly referenced in this previous episode, our conversation with Dr. William Liu covers a lot of relevant subject matter. Listen to The Racial Hierarchy of MASKulinity, with Dr. Liu - Part 1 ENCOREWere you ever rocked by the entrance of Stefan Urquelle on Family Matters. Remoy was. And he chronicled it in a classic episode for the Spotify original podcast–Not past ItYes, Remoy once wrote TV criticism on Tumblr–basically his televised version of letterboxd had an apt title: Because TV Raised UsCOMPANION PIECES: The guide to Samantha’s game? Yep it boils down once again to that now seminal report from Pew Research center: How Americans See Men and Masculinity

This week, we’re excited to bring a conversation from NGM Pathways’ live community event to our feed. The good folks at our presenting organization, Next Gen Men, hosted Samantha and Remoy for a Q&A session about the US election. We stop just short of the audience Q&A to maintain privacy of the participants. Tune in! Remoy and Samantha start out with a shout-out to self-care. It’s been a month since the election and some tough conversations with loved ones may have happened/may be coming up—it’s important to take a moment for ourselves. Therapy is still the greatest thing ever. Remoy shouts out his own therapist and Samantha is excited to return this week.Male loneliness continues to be high—Samantha calls back the mental health conversation they had with resident counselor Justin Lioi this time last year.Next Gen Men’s new community manager, Charlotte Kinloch, starts out with land acknowledgments. We remember that we are on stolen land both in the US and in Canada, as we start the conversation.  Charlotte leads us into unpacking the election… Was this election gendered? It certainly didn’t have to be but it was. A white male convicted felon being allowed to run and being measured against the most qualified presidential candidate in recent times certainly feels gendered. Well, it feels supremacist.Samantha and Remoy point out that many other factors were certainly implicated in Americans’ decision to vote Trump, but gender cannot be ignored.What was  surprising about the PEW findings from the pre-election episode?Right before the election, Juliana Horowitz from PEW Research Center came on the pod and shared Americans’ feelings on men and masculinity. Men’s progress and character traits in men were among the most surprising, particularly given the narratives promoted by the manosphere.As Horowitz shared during that episode, which Samantha brought up again now, not blaming women for men’s lack of progress doesn’t mean that women’s progress is appreciated. This points to a patriarchal perspective prevailing among Americans.Samantha sidebars about why men have made less progress than women in the past few decades. PEW Research Center had a study on that as well…Remoy places us within a larger international context. Trump wasn’t the only one elected as a result of populist efforts.Faith in education has dropped drastically, and education is viewed as the establishment.How was Trump able to paint himself as a man of the people even though he is a billionaire who rubs elbows with other billionaires? Remoy gives his take.If, as we discovered during our conversation with PEW Center’s Senior Associate Director of Research, Juliana Horowitz, Americans value women’s leadership and “feminine” traits being valuable to leadership, how did Donald Trump emerge as elected leader for this country yet again?Remoy reflects back on his conservative background before he became liberal and how much masculinity is entrenched in American culture history.Samantha points out that messaging around patriarchal leadership is heavily funded by nontraditional sources and funneled to nontraditional information and news sources. A win for the anti-establishment strategy.The manosphere and its spaces also provide something that men have trouble getting elsewhere.Remoy highlights the need for regulation on social media with a clear solution.How have evolving gender roles impacted the American public?PEW’s research found that Americans don’t blame men’s lack of progress on women’s continued progress, but men are still behind.Remoy brings up the biggest point of all, which is the economy. Many folks who vote conservative cite the economy as their main reason for doing so. This election was no different. This has impacted men in a real way, challenging the notion that they are providers. And some of their women spouses voted to ensure that their male partners could get better financially.Samantha highlights the ways in which the economy has already been impacted by Trump’s win, but only a few have seen the wins.Talk to us! Did we cover all the points about the election? What would you have added? Our lines are open for any and all communications about masculinity, [email protected]; @maskulinitypod on Twitter and Instagram.Thanks for listening COMPANION PIECES: Making Sense of the Election - Our post election episode examining money in politics and how Americans get their news and informationHow American Politics REALLY Sees Men & MASKulinity - Our episode analyzing PEW Research Center’s latest report on men and masculinity with report author and Senior Associate Director of Research at PEW Research Center, Juliana Horowitz and Next Gen Men’s Equity Leaders’ Trevor MayohDon’t underestimate the Rogansphere. His mammoth ecosystem is Fox News for young peoplePew Research Center ‘s study on Americans’ news sourcesMANY young people are getting their news from TikTokReferenced on this episode: How Americans See Men and Masculinity - PEW Research Center reportMen Think It's Harder for Them at Work Than 20 Years AgoFewer young men are in college, especially at 4-year schools

This time last year, Keestin O’Dell of Frog Lake First Nations joined the pod to have a thoughtful conversation about resistance, warrior masculinity, and the importance of questioning dominant narratives about indigenous communities. It’s time to have this conversation again, so we’re bringing it back to keep real history out there. Here’s how it went down: We switch it up this week! Remoy has some stories to fill Samantha in on. They talk language traditions, how colonial/settler/imperialist institutions use language to marginalize indigenous communities, and how that translates to altering narratives about a painful past.Remoy talks us through about how the co-woman led Indian of All Tribes organization took over Alcatraz for a year-and-a-half and gets real about the astronomical impact of the genocide of indigenous peoples.He shares more female native activist voices like Shinanova who use social media voices to pass on their message of resistance.Keestin shares key history about Frog Lake First Nations and its legacy in Alberta, Canada—specifically the Frog Lake Massacre. If you listen hard enough, you can hear how history is finding a way to repeat itself now.He lets us in on how his and other indigenous communities have had to fight postcolonial legacy to reclaim their history and identity, including redefining the notion of “warrior” and what it means to provide.Keestin inspires us to break through our illusions of language and masculinity. He shares the evolution of his own experience with masculinity, how a community of men was pivotal, and how that impacts the work he does today.  COMPANION PIECES: The history behind The National Day of Mourning and how indigenous Americans continue to fight the lie of Thanksgiving. Keestin’s TED talk on perceptions of indigenous manhoodThe indigenous occupation of AlcatrazReferenced on this episode: 54th Annual National Day of Mourning Demonstration in PlymouthDr. LaNada War JackRichard OakesIndian of All Tribes (IAT)ShinaNova

This week, Remoy and Samantha debrief the election. After having hope following the PEW findings from the last episode, they try to understand how the election turned out the way it did. The obvious has to be put out there: Kamala Harris’s loss has strong racist and sexist undertones.Given most Trump voters cited the economy as the reason why, Samantha talks through Joe Biden’s approach as well.Many factors contributed to the state of the economy, including—ahem—COVID, the effects of which we’re still feeling now.What’s going on with inflation? Samantha gives us high-level notes on COVID-19 led to the worst inflation we’ve seen.Trump voters may not have known all this, because news sources have changed substantially in recent years.Remoy takes us through the new news landscape.YouTube and Facebook are heavy on Americans’ news rotation, many more Americans than you might think get their news from these sources.Not to mention the manosphere speaking directly to men as guests like Donald Trump give them clout while connecting to their fanbase.How can so many Americans fall for these things? Education has been meddled with in so many states.Samantha gives a crash course on the billionaire Koch brothers and their education goals.She delves into the allies that have helped them get there and how they use government and money to undermine public education.Did you know they are longtime associates of Betsy DeVos and her family? Samantha gets into their collaboration instituting the voucher system in states around the country.The Koch have a particular vision for the world they want to see and meddling with American education is their pathway.Trump has now started naming his cabinet, and back in 2016, many of his potential cabinet picks were from the Kochs’ network of donors.Remoy reminds us how men’s education has plateaued in the US, and how this helps disinform them.The notion of school choice has been a conservative strategy to destabilize public education, reallocating funds to give parents accounts.They end on a note of hope.Join Samantha and Remoy at the Next Gen Men Pathways event. They’ll be answering questions about MASKulinity and the election for Next Gen Men’s new initiative and reflecting on what’s to come. Sign up for FREE, and join them on November 21!Thanks for listening! Referenced on this episode: Pew Research Center ‘s study on Americans’ news sourcesMANY young people are getting their news from TikTokHow Democrats are falling short on connecting with menOur podbro’s thoughts on Democrats connecting with menHow the manosphere won the election  COMPANION PIECES: How American Politics REALLY Sees Men & MASKulinityRadicalization and TSwiftMake America Great Again, How the dominant was left behind with Dr. Michael KimmelInside the new strain of conservatives, not MAGA or QanonGaslit Nation’s Reading Guide to stay informed

As the 2024 election heats up, it’s easy to assume that hyper-masculine, even toxic masculinity, messaging is resonating across America. But a new Pew Research report tells a different story. After digging in with report creator Juliana Horowitz and Next Gen Men’s Trevor Mayoh, Samantha uncovers some surprising truths.   Here’s where Samantha reveals the real story behind Americans’ views on masculinity. Remoy was surprised, to say the least… First Juliana opens up to how the “How Americans See Men and Masculinity” report came out of a more general curiosity, but as the election shifted into a more gendered race, the importance of the research became increasingly clear.Using the report as a jump off, Samantha runs a few questions by Remoy:First: Samantha asked Remoy what he thought when he heard of the association between the American public and the terms: caring, open about their emotions, soft-spoken, or affectionate?Second: She asked him how Americans felt about men pursuing non “traditional” norms: staying home to raise the kids, women paying for the date, men taking a woman’s last name in marriage?Third: How do Americans feel about actions that depict Toxic Masculinity?Fourth: Do Americans feel like there’s a backlash against men who are manly or masculine?The answers? They’re not so cut and dry as you may think with a lot more parity across the aisle. Why?Juliana suggests that generally speaking there’s much more nuance to Americans’ beliefs and thinking. Especially in contrast to the loud political noise we constantly see and hear.Trevor makes a point that it’s the sport of American politics, the tribalism of how it’s waged, that unfortunately may disregard a lot of that nuance.Trevor shares what he’s experienced with men in his work as a diversity, inclusion and violence prevention consultant. How he encounters a lot of men who are hurting in a variety of ways: work anxieties, stress, expectations to meet the highest standards of what it means to be husband or father. And in the midst of all that, how the larger culture hasn’t given men the tools to ask for help to process all these intense expectations.Then he goes on to unpack how that can be exacerbated in highly masculine spaces– how men could actually possess a lot of that nuance Juliana shared in her report –but there’s a pack mentality in those intense social environments that doesn't allow men to easily share their discouragements.Remoy wonders if all of this is what can create a culture of “Aggrieved Entitlement.”Does Remoy know what that really is? Nope. Luckily Samantha helps guide the way, defining what that experience is along with how mens’ perceptions of women’s ascent plays a role in building that entitled foundation.Juliana brings some light to it all by giving a better view of what Americans perceive of the progress women have made in the last 20 years and how that may be affecting the aforementioned entitlement.Trevor reveals how that entitlement, yes, has become a tool for American players like Trump, but is also a larger global culture. How it’s more of a larger populist appeal that exploits men's insecurities amidst deeply entrenched gender norms.Trevor leaves Samantha and Remoy with one last take away about how maybe the greatest misunderstanding of all these political games, is that if anything, it may provide community, friendship, or just a person to share a laugh with. A rare commodity for men especially as they age.Samantha and Remoy really take this information in to gather a better understanding of how vulnerable men may be and how if this is the most vulnerable area for predation, how sad the American political environment may be.Samantha then breaks off on her own to ask Juliana more questions about the importance of the “How Americans See Men and Masculinity” report. Along the way pursuing a deeper understanding with Trevor at how to better wade through all these layers of these findings amidst the visible political situation in America.Finally, Samantha and Remoy discuss how to hold all this nuance alongside knowing we’re in a fractured American political system; especially when facing the obligation to participate when the cracks are so apparent. Together they land on multiple ideas that empower each other to have faith and still fight back as part of their own civic duty.  Referenced on this episode: Want to dive into the actual report from the Pew Research Center? Read “How Americans See Men and Masculinity” in all its surprising, well dissected glory.Who’s Trevor Mayoh? Learn more about his role as an Equity Leader with Next Gen Men.Okay but really… What is “Aggrieved Entitlement”? The Conversation shows a recent example of what that looks like in Canada.Who’s Samantha’s favorite Boston Celtic, Jaylen Brown? And why? Read more about how he came to open up about his mental health challenges as a male pro-athlete, especially overcoming an upbringing surrounded by what he calls “over-masculinity”.Justin Baldoni makes it his mission to model a public, vulnerable, honest conversation of what patriarchy really does to men. Companion pieces: It's Time to Loosen the Grip on Reproductive Freedom with Heidi SieckMake America Great Again, How the dominant was left behind with Dr. Michael Kimmel