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It’s the last week of our big dog-themed event, ‘The Dog Days of Summer,’ and we’re flipping the script on you by talking about a movie where dogs and humans are decidedly NOT best friends. As a matter of fact, we’re talking about a movie where a bunch of blood-thirsty wolves wage war against that gigantic Irish f**k Liam Neeson. It’s 2011’s bleak, depressing flick about how we all live alone and are destined to die alone, THE GREY. Enjoy!

If you like listening to podcasts where the hosts talk at length about dog sex all while doing constant impressions of Tom Hanks yelling, then this is the episode for you! Our June event ‘The Dog Days of Summer’ continues with a discussion of that other cop and a dog movie that came out in 1989, TURNER & HOOCH.

We’re just going to apologize in advance because this is the rapiest movie we’ve covered yet.

It’s post Memorial Day, so we’re sunbunt, we’ve got bellies full of hot dogs, and we’re ready to start slacking off. Is it cool if adults start taking summer breaks too? Regardless, ain’t nobody taking a break from podcasting. It’s a new month so we’ve got a new miniseries to start. All June long we’re celebrating ‘The Dog Days of Summer’ by talking about dog movies. To kick things off we’re getting right to the point and addressing the big one. The ultimate dog movie. The elephant in the room. Jim Belushi playing a tough guy cop alongside a rambunctious mutt in K-9. This was the flick that kicked off the whole Belushi era that was the early 90s, and we’ve got opinions!

Okay, so we spend an inordinate amount of time discussing the female lead’s body this week, but in our defense, this movie features about 40 minutes of full frontal nudity and we challenge anyone to not be stunned by the quality of it. It’s the final film in our Cannon Canon retrospective, Toby Hooper’s naked space vampire epic, LIFEFORCE (1985). Starting next week we plan on kicking off an entire month where we talk about dog movies, so we expect the discussion to become far less filthy. You can start looking forward to that wholesomeness now (unless one of the flicks distracts us with some bomb-ass dog t*****s, no guarantees). 

This week on The Cannon Canon we’re delving into the Chuck Norris corner of the Cannon Films universe by talking about his 1985 film where one very misguided Russian terrorist and about three dozen multi-ethnic underlings attempt a full-scale land invasion of the United States, INVASION USA. “It can happen here,” but what “it” is gets pretty unclear, especially in the ridiculous third act of this Reagan-era monstrosity. 

Join us as we continue to dive deep into the output of Cannon Films, that 80s action-heavy production company set up by Golobulous, the snake man from Cobra-La. This week we’re talking about one of their very best Charles Bronson vehicles that didn’t have the words “death” or “wish” in the title, 10 TO MIDNIGHT (1983). It’s Bronson vs a naked serial killer in a race against the clock to save all of the busty young co-eds in the nursing wing of the med school dorm from bloody annihilation, and we are here for it! 

We f****d up not recording a fourth ‘April Anniversary’ movie for last month, so we’re trying to make good by talking about a movie that’s celebrating an anniversary this week, but also fits in with our new theme for May. Intrigued? No? Well, we still have to finish explaining anyway. This week we’re celebrating the 35th anniversary of the release of AMERICAN NINJA 2: THE CONFRONTATION, which is one of our favorite releases from Cannon Films, which will be our topic for the month as we deep dive into the best of the best when it comes to the ‘Cannon Canon.’ Enjoy! Or don’t. Likely you won’t, but let’s not make a big deal about it.

Yo, all you arrestedly developed dorks who listen to this podcast! You ready to re-live some serious childhood shit? This week our April Anniversaries month continues as we celebrate the 35th birthday of GI JOE: THE MOVIE (1987), an animated flick that came out all the way back when we used to feel alive inside. How does it hold up? Probably Snake Eyes gets to do a million cool ninja things, right? Right??  Wait… what the f**k is a Cobra-La?

We’ve decided to spend the entire month of April celebrating significant film anniversaries, and this week we had a rollicking (drunken) good time discussing probably the last movie ever where former 80s heartthrob John Cusack came off as likable. That’s right, we’re over here celebrating the 25th anniversary of GROSSE POINTE BLANK, a flick you know we love because it heavily features our boy the Pivs. Let’s hug it out, bitches!

Even though we started recording this episode outrageously late and Nate went into the situation outrageously drunk, we still talked for two and a half hours about the movie where Chuck Norris fights a Frankenstein. Who does something like that? Dorks. Dorks is who does something like that. SILENT RAGE (1982)! 

It may have took us three weeks to recover from our St Patrick’s Day hangovers, but we’re back just in time to squeeze one more podcast into our ‘Beware the Sci-Fides of March’ event before the calendar flips over to April. Sorry about not talking about those last two flicks we advertised, but we felt like the pressing matter was shining some light on the underseen gem we’re talking about this week instead, THE HIDDEN (1987). The dude from Twin Peaks and the dude from Flashdance hunting a body-jumping alien all across LA? Sign us the f**k up.