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When do we get to the point in life when we begin to lose just as often as we win? Career restarts, divorces, the death of a parent, the loss of a friend? For Chris Jones it all began roughly a decade ago, when he discovered his wife's romantic texts with his close male friend, and his marriage ended abruptly with a single sentence: "I saw it all. I'm done." That moment led Jones - an award-winning writer for Esquire, The Atlantic and ESPN - into a new phase of his life, when introspection, vulnerability, and love for a blue collar English soccer team gave him perspective on what it means to win and lose in life. On this episode of Paternal, Jones recounts the moment he discovered his wife's infidelity, why his therapist recommended he consider picking up trash around town, and how he used soccer to connect with his English ancestors and his teenaged son during a time when he needed a win more than ever. Jones' new memoir Legs Hearts Minds is available wherever you buy books. He has appeared on Paternal twice in the past, in 2021 and again in 2022.

Introducing What If the Treatment Is Making You Worse? | Laura Delano & Blake Mycoskie from No Magic Pill with Blake Mycoskie. Follow the show: No Magic Pill with Blake Mycoskie At 13, Laura Delano was told she had an incurable mental illness and would need psychiatric medication to manage it. What followed were years of diagnoses, hospitalizations, multiple medications, and a worsening mental health crisis. In this episode of No Magic Pill, Blake Mycoskie sits down with Unshrunk author Laura Delano to explore the question that ultimately changed the course of her life: What if it wasn’t treatment-resistant mental illness? What if the treatment itself was part of the problem? Drawing from Laura’s two-decade journey and Blake’s own experience with a bipolar II diagnosis and psychiatric medication, they explore physical dependence and withdrawal, the risks of tapering too quickly, informed decision-making, and what can happen when we look beyond a diagnosis to understand the deeper context behind our suffering. This isn’t a conversation about being for or against medication. It’s about agency, curiosity, and asking better questions about our mental health—including one that reframed Laura’s own journey: instead of only asking “What’s wrong with me?” what if we also asked “What happened to me?” Because sometimes healing begins not with another quick fix, but with understanding what our pain has been trying to tell us. No quick fixes. No shortcuts. No Magic Pill. #NoMagicPill #BlakeMycoskie #LauraDelano Enough Foundation's mission is to spread reminders in every form — bracelets, messages, actions, community — until feeling ENOUGH becomes the cultural default. To learn more, visit weareenough.co.  Produced, Directed, and Cinematography by Wubetu Shimelash / IG: Wubetu Shimelash Disclaimer: No purchase necessary. While supplies last. Visit http://www.weareenough.co/rules for full terms. More information on Blake’s other projects here:  Morning Water  Morning Water is a daily hydration formula that restores energy, balance, and performance with essential electrolytes, minerals, and nutrients in one simple routine.  To learn more, visit morningwater.co and use code NOMAGICPILL for 25% off your first order. SONIA  Sonia is a conversational AI companion designed for emotional support. Through voice and text, it offers guided wellbeing sessions, including meditations, journaling, personalized recommendations, and practical exercises. To learn more, visit www.soniahealth.com and download it on the App Store. MOOVLAB At MOOVLAB, we bring health and wellness to your workday.  MOOVLAB - the answer to sitting is moving.  To learn more, visit www.moovlab.com Follow Blake on Instagram and stay up to date with Lemonada on Facebook and Instagram. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors. Joining Lemonada Premium is a great way to support our show and get bonus content. Subscribe today at lemonadapremium.com. Subscribe to Spotify Premium to watch ad-free video. Disclaimer: This episode is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical questions or concerns you may have. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to [email protected].

By his own admission, Chuck Park lives in a cramped, two-bedroom apartment in Queens with his kids' drawings on the wall, a stroller by the door, and a dog who just won't stop barking. He's a dad concerned about the cost of health care and child care, and he's eager to fight for working families just like his. But can a normal dad with no experience in public office actually win a seat in the U.S. Congress? On this episode of Paternal, Park explains why he left a cushy job to run for Congress to represent New York's 6th Congressional District, and how his young son played a major role in the decision. He also discusses the level of anxiety in his community amid ongoing ICE raids, and the experience of growing up as the son of Korean immigrants who worked tirelessly as street peddlers in Manhattan to pay the bills and raise a family.

Just a few months after the birth of his son in 2019, Kevin Maguire noticed he wasn't feeling quite right. At times he resented his newborn son, other times he would cry for seemingly no reason. He lost interest in his work and some of his hobbies, and he just couldn't quite shake this idea that maybe something was wrong with him. After all, wasn't this supposed to be one the happiest moments of his life? Then Maguire discovered he was suffering from paternal postpartum depression, and the diagnosis sent him down a path that changed his life. Two years later he launched The New Fatherhood, a hugely popular international forum for men that Esquire dubbed "one big group text with other guys fumbling their way through fatherhood." Beginning with one email to friends that began with the line "being a dad isn't easy," The New Fatherhood now boasts a weekly newsletter read by nearly 20,000 dads in more than 150 countries.  On this episode of Paternal, Maguire discusses founding the forum, the kinds of vulnerable reactions he's received from dads over the years, and why we live in an era with the biggest changes facing fathers in generations. Maguire's new book, The New Fatherhood, is available wherever you buy books.

When Jordan Ritter Conn was a teenager growing up in an Evangelical Christian family, he met with a half dozen male friends every Saturday night for Bible Study. The sessions were a free-for-all for owning up to masturbation or admitting your insecurities, for speaking frankly about your father or dreaming about your future. Now a veteran journalist covering sports and culture for The Ringer and the author of the new book American Men, Conn still considers those Saturday nights "some of the best of my life." On this episode of Paternal, Conn discusses why so many men are struggling to make similarly meaningful connections, as well as what he learned from years of intimate and revealing conversations with four men from diverse American backgrounds for his new book. He also examines the male loneliness crisis, why all men have to face "the masculinity gap" at some point in their lives, and why he always texts a male friend after a meaningful conversation. Conn's new book, American Men, is available wherever you buy books.

Brooklyn-based psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Daniel Smith has a motto: Feel everything, don't look away. But how exactly are men supposed to confront some of the most challenging emotions in their lives, especially when society tells them to suppress or even ignore feelings like shame, envy or regret? On this episode of Paternal, Smith examines our relationship to what he calls "Hard Feelings," and why reconsidering how we relate to these emotions can be beneficial for men as they become fathers. He also recounts his own story of growing up with a father who lingered at an emotional distance, and why modeling that emotions are off-limits can lead to shame and anger in our kids. Smith is the author of the 2012 memoir Monkey Mind and the new release Hard Feelings, available wherever you buy books.

Tom Junod spent more than two decades as one the most celebrated writers in the men's magazine game, winning two National Magazine Awards and penning unforgettable articles about everything from 9/11 to Mister Rogers. Dubbed by Esquire as the man who has "helped teach readers what masculinity looks like in the 21st century," Junod has been considered one of great writers in the magazine's nearly 100-year history, alongside Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and Tom Wolfe. But Junod certainly didn't learn about masculinity from a magazine. Instead he absorbed lessons about manhood imparted by his father Lou, a man who emulated the leading men of 1930s Hollywood and offered a treasure trove of men's-only secrets of success about wearing turtlenecks, making eye contact, and offering a firm handshake. Then Tom learned the details of his father's other secrets, and it reshaped his opinion of what it means to be a good man. Junod is the author of the memoir In The Days Of My Youth I Was Told What It Means To Be A Man, available now wherever you buy books.

John Elway. Joe Namath. Johnny Unitas. Peyton Manning. Look into the backstory of just about any star quarterback you've ever heard of, and you'll find either an overbearing father, or an absent one.  In honor of the Super Bowl and the men who play the biggest role in this game, author and ESPN senior writer Seth Wickersham joins Paternal to discuss why there's no cooler job title in America than quarterback, but each star's story often traces back to the influence of his father. He also discusses the challenges the sons of these star quarterbacks face in living up to the legacy of their dads, the perils of father/son relationships built on football, and why even Tom Brady struggled to be a quarterback and a father at the same time. Wickersham's latest book, American Kings: A Biography of the Quarterback, is available now wherever you buy books.

As a teenager, Julian Brave Noisecat often heard ghost stories about the history of the Canim Lake Indian Reserve. He considered them simply rez legends, and figured the details of the stories - that indigenous babies had been born and left in the incinerator of the Christian residential school - simply couldn't be true. But then he learned the origin story of his own father, and everything changed. Now an acclaimed author and the first Indigenous North American filmmaker ever nominated for an Academy Award, Noisecat opens a new year on Paternal with the story of discovering the truth about his father, and why the story was largely shrouded in silence for decades. He also discusses how adults sent to residential schools as kids sometimes struggle as parents themselves, and what he's learned about forgiveness and acceptance for his own father after learning more about his life. Noisecat's memoir We Survived the Night is available now wherever you buy books, and Sugarcane, his Academy-Award nominated documentary film, is available on Disney Plus and other streaming services.

When Robert Gallery was a senior at the University of Iowa, he was one of the most respected and feared college football players in the country. At 6-foot-7 and 320 pounds, Gallery leveraged his size, talent and tenacity into a lucrative contract and an eight-year career in the National Football League. But all the while he was quietly suffering one concussion after another on the football field, and when his career finally ended, he struggled to handle bouts of rage that left him shaking in a chair after his young child spilled a glass of milk. On this episode of Paternal, Gallery reflects on the difficult transition from high-performance athlete to stay-at-home dad, the moment he learned about the extensive damage done to his brain, and how a vivid two-day psychoactive drug treatment in Mexico changed the course of his life. Gallery is the co-founder and CEO of Athletes for Care, a non-profit organization supporting athletes through mental health and alternative therapy advocacy. He was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 2023.

What were the first words you said to your child when you became a parent? Was there something you needed to say to officially welcome him or her into this world, or was it all just a blur? For longtime Slate journalist and author Aymann Ismail the task was clear: He had to recite a Muslim call to prayer into his newborn son's right ear, a ritual that's been performed by countless Muslim fathers through the generations, all over the world. But was he appeasing God, or his own father?  On this episode of Paternal, Ismail discusses a life spent navigating being a Muslim kid who preferred cartoons over daily prayers, and then how his faith influences his role as a father to two young kids now. And all the while he's been trying to somehow live up to the expectations of his father, a devout and educated Muslim man fixated on the kind of man he believes his son should be. Ismail's new book, Becoming Baba: Fatherhood, Faith and Finding Meaning in America, is available now wherever you buy books.

Jonathan Malesic spent more than a decade in what he thought was his dream job as a college professor. But after years on the clock he found himself exhausted, angry, and struggling to feel like he was making an impact with his students. But even when he quit his job in order to solve one problem, he quickly realized he had another on his hands: Without a job, was he suddenly less of a man? On this 2023 episode of Paternal, Malesic recounts the experience that led him to studying the phenomenon of burnout, how it affects men and women differently, what role work plays in defining a man's sense of masculinity, and the effects of burnout on men when it comes to fatherhood. Malesic's 2022 book The End of Burnout is available wherever you buy books, and he is also the author of the 2022 essay "How Men Burn Out," from The New York Times.

Proponents of Artificial Intelligence assure us that everything in life is about to change: Work, education, healthcare, art, and even how we remember our loved ones. But what role can AI actually play in alleviating psychological and emotional suffering, especially when a parent loses a child? Welcome to the mind of author Jayson Greene, who penned the celebrated memoir Once More We Saw Stars back in 2019 after the tragic loss of his daughter Greta, and who's very familiar with how opportunistic companies position AI technology as a solution to avoid feeling the pain of grief and loss. On this episode of Paternal, Greene discusses the AI themes in his debut sci-fi novel UnWorld,  how he's faring 10 years after the death of his daughter, what he's learned about how men connect over grief, and what it's like to receive DMs from strangers who have lost their child. He also examines how he and his wife Stacy dealt with grief differently in the wake of Greta's death, and why he often wonders what kind of person he has become after losing her. Greene previously appeared on Episode No. 38 of Paternal back in 2020.

How did Thomas Jefferson's thoughts on fatherhood influence the American Revolution? What did Charles Darwin learn about evolution from watching his own kids? And why did Bob Dylan tell everyone he couldn't stand his father? After becoming a father himself, historian and author Augustine Sedgewick dove into the past to learn more about these and other hugely influential men, and how being a father and a son shaped their lives and work, for better or worse. On this episode of Paternal, Sedgewick reflects on why he went looking through the past for paternal role models, and why the lives of Jefferson, Darwin, Dylan, Henry David Thoreau and Norman Rockwell reveal problematic habits dads can avoid today. Sedgewick is the author of Fatherhood: A History of Love and Power, available now wherever you buy books.

In the final scene of the 1986 coming-of-age film Stand By Me, the film's narrator sums up boyhood friendship with the simple line, "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve." And that's largely true for a number of men who had no trouble developing deep, meaningful friendships with other boys. So why has a lack of friendship among dads become a cliche, or even a running joke? Why can't guys hang onto those intimate friendships from their past, and what keeps them from making new friends as adults? On this episode of Paternal, journalist and novelist Sam Graham-Felsen examines how one of his strongest childhood friendships has eroded over the years in the wake of marriage and fatherhood, and why men are reluctant to reach out to close friends when they're in distress. He also discusses why listening to Joe Rogan offers some men a community in place of real-life friendships, and what men can do to rediscover the old friends they thought they lost. Graham-Felsen is the author of the article "Where Have All My Deep Male Friendships Gone?", which appeared in the New York Times Magazine in May.