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Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! When people talk about emunah, faith, it is often framed as a simple question. Do you believe in God, or don't you? But what if that question misses the point? In this episode, Rabbi Simi Lerner argues that emunah is not a binary yes or no. It is not something a person simply has or lacks. It is something that develops over time, shaped by experience, thought, and personal struggle. Together, we explore why so many thoughtful people find themselves wrestling with faith, even when they genuinely want to believe. We discuss the difference between a more rational, philosophical approach to Judaism and an approach predicated upon a more Kabbalistic worldview, and whether those approaches are in tension or can work together. We also examine how the way emunah is often taught may be part of the problem, especially when it is presented in overly simplistic terms that do not reflect the complexity of real life. This is not a conversation about proving that God exists. It is a conversation about what it actually means to live with faith in the modern world, and how a more honest and nuanced understanding of emunah might open the door for people who feel stuck, uncertain, or disconnected. In a bonus segment for paid subscribers to Orthodox Conundrum Commentary, Simi tells the personal story behind his journey and how he arrived at the approach to emunah he lives by today. Make sure to check out Rav Simi's podcasts Judaism From Within and Two Rabbis, Three Opinions, as well as his online classes on Horeb and Kuzari. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com  

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! Today's episode deals with a topic that many people have heard about, but far fewer people actually understand. Terms like get refusal or seruv are often mentioned, sometimes with strong reactions, but often without a clear sense of what they mean in practice. So in this conversation, we're going to take a step back and try to understand the system itself. What exactly is a seruv? How does the Beit Din process work when a couple is going through a divorce? At what point does a difficult or contentious situation cross the line into something more serious? And where does the system function as it is meant to, and where does it sometimes break down? My guests today are Jen Lankin, co-CEO of ORA, the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot, and Rabbi Jonathan Hefter, ORA's Director of Partnerships and Innovation. ORA works closely with individuals navigating some of the most complex and painful cases in the Jewish divorce system, and they bring both practical experience and a broader perspective on how these situations unfold. One of the important ideas you will hear in this episode is that these situations can become complicated very quickly, but that complexity does not change the underlying reality. When a get is being withheld or used as leverage, that is a serious problem. And understanding how and why that happens is essential if we want to address it effectively. We also talk about concepts that are not always part of the public conversation, like "get delay," the role of community responsibility, and an emerging view that the get may need to be given earlier in the process in order to avoid becoming a point of leverage. And just as importantly, we discuss the idea of survivor led advocacy. Public pressure, including rallies, protests, and communal action, can sometimes be effective, and ORA does use those tools. But they are not always the right approach, and even when they are, it is essential that the agunah herself is the one guiding that decision. The process matters, not just the outcome, and supporting someone through this kind of situation means ensuring that she retains agency over how her case is handled. This is a serious and sometimes uncomfortable topic. But it is also an opportunity to better understand how the system works, and to think more carefully about how we, as a community, respond when things do not go as they should. ORA website: https://www.getora.org/ The Get Guide: https://www.getora.org/getguide Jewish Divorce Helpline: (844) 673-5463 or [email protected] Email: [email protected] Social media: @OraAgunot Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com

As Jewish people across the globe prepare for Pesach, we're pleased to re-release this classic episode of the Orthodox Conundrum, originally published in March, 2023. More than any other Jewish holiday, Pesach is associated with questions. That's obviously true for the Seder, but it's also true when it comes to the intense preparations that precede the chag. Jewish law regarding cleaning for Pesach is very extensive, and the misconceptions are often very prevalent. For that reason, we're proud to present a conversation with Rav Chayim Soloveichik shlit'a, where Scott asked some of the most common questions people ask as they prepare for Pesach. We thank Rav Chayim for generously giving his time and expertise, and hope that this episode can serve as a valuable resource and guide as people throughout the Jewish world get ready for Zman Cheiruteinu. Among the issues Rav Chayim addressed are: 8:54 - Crumbs and vacuuming 10:39 - Purchasing milk and eggs before Pesach 12:43 - Medicines on Pesach 14:29 - Defining "Nifsal M'achilat Kelev" (something inedible to a dog) 18:24 - New lipstick or ChapStick on Pesach 18:38 - Canola oil 20:28 - At what point do kitniyot become forbidden on Erev Pesach for Ashkenazi Jews, and can they be cooked in a kosher for Pesach pot 23:10 - Egg matzah 23:42 - Checking books for crumbs 24:50 - Selling chometz 27:46 - Preparing the house if you're going away for the entire holiday 29:33 - Roommates who jointly own chometz 30:10 - A car wash before Pesach 30:48 - Foods that don't require special Pesach certification 31:35 - Dismantling pots and pans before kashering them 31:57 - Kashering a pot with a stain 32:21 - Kashering a gas stove 33:55 - Kashering a non-self-cleaning oven 35:16 - The 24 hour rule regarding an urn used to kasher counters and sinks  35:50 - Lining the refrigerator 36:43 - Kashering a metal sink 36:58 - Kashering dishwashers Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers receive episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com  

This week's episode is a little different. Instead of our usual format, I'm sharing a conversation where I'm the guest on Alana Gelnick's excellent Stream of Dreamearly podcast, in an episode entitled Ways to Make the Seder Matter: Being Your Authentic Self. As we prepare for Pesach, this discussion explores a simple but powerful idea: the Seder is not about getting everything right, but about creating a feeling, building connection, and giving our children experiences they will carry long after they forget the details. If this resonates, I encourage you to listen to the other episodes in this miniseries as well, including conversations with Rabbi Steve and Sharon Richter on choosing a Seder theme and Rabbi Yair Menchel on creating a meaningful Seder experience. I will also be rereleasing additional classic Orthodox Conundrum Pesach episodes in the coming days. Enjoy, and chag kasher v'sameach! Listen to Ways to Make the Seder Matter: Choosing a Theme, with Rabbi Steve and Sharon Richter on Spotify or Apple. Listen to Ways to Make the Seder Matter: Creating an Experience, with Rabbi Yair Menchel on Spotify or Apple. Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers receive episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! In the wake of war, many Israelis have begun asking a difficult question: Have American Jews become more distant from Israel, or does it only feel that way? In this wide-ranging and deeply honest conversation, Rabbi David Fine and Dr. Laura Shaw Frank join me to explore what is really happening beneath the surface. Together, we examine shifting patterns of engagement, the emotional and psychological divide between Israeli and American Jewish experiences, and the uncomfortable reality that what strengthens one community can sometimes strain the other. From declining fundraising and "compassion fatigue," to rising antisemitism in the United States and divergent beliefs about the advisability of the current war, and the very different ways each community experiences this moment, this episode challenges easy assumptions. It also raises a deeper question: are we witnessing disengagement, or simply living in two very different Jewish realities? This is not a conversation about blame. It is an invitation to greater understanding, greater sensitivity, and a stronger sense of shared destiny. Find the Women's Gallery Podcast on Spotify, Apple, or anywhere you get your podcasts. To listen to the latest episode of Intimate Judaism, Don't Look, Don't Tell, click here. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! What if the story we tell at the Seder was originally speaking directly to the world of Pharaoh? In this episode of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast, Rabbi Dr. Joshua Berman of Bar Ilan University joins me to discuss his fascinating new Haggadah, Echoes of Egypt. Drawing on discoveries from Egyptology and the broader study of the ancient Near East, Rabbi Berman shows how the Torah often takes the language, imagery, and political assumptions of ancient Egypt and turns them on their head. Seen in this light, familiar phrases in the Haggadah take on new meaning. The Exodus becomes not only a story of liberation, but a profound challenge to the worldview of the ancient world, replacing the glorification of kings and power with a revolutionary vision of God, freedom, and the dignity of ordinary people. If you want to experience the story of the Exodus with fresh eyes this Pesach, this conversation may change the way you read the Haggadah—and the way you imagine the world from which it first emerged. Find the Women's Gallery Podcast on Spotify, Apple, or anywhere you get your podcasts. To listen to the latest episode of Intimate Judaism, Don't Look, Don't Tell, click here. To order Rabbi Dr. Berman's new Haggadah, Echoes of Egypt, click here. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! Over the past few years, and certainly over the past week, anxiety has become part of the background noise of Jewish life. People in Israel are living with sirens and uncertainty. People in the diaspora are following the news constantly, worrying about family, about Israel, about growing antisemitism, about the future and their place in the world. And even beyond the current moment, anxiety has become something many of us talk about openly in ways we didn't a generation ago. Usually when we talk about anxiety, the assumption is simple: anxiety is something to eliminate. Something to suppress. Something to cure. But what if that assumption is wrong? My guest today, Dr. David Rosmarin, is a clinical psychologist, Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School, and the founder of the Center for Anxiety. He argues that while anxiety can be a disorder, it more often is nothing of the sort, and not even necessarily a problem. In fact, anxiety is actually a built-in human tool which can sharpen our awareness, deepen our relationships, strengthen resilience, and even push us toward greater spiritual growth.. In our conversation, we talk about how anxiety works, why modern culture may misunderstand it, and how Jewish ideas like emunah, bitachon, and even daily rituals like tefillah can help us engage anxiety in healthier and more productive ways. Dr. Rosmarin also shares a simple four-step framework for working with anxiety: identify it, share it with others, embrace the discomfort instead of running from it, and finally learn to let go of the illusion that we control everything. This isn't a conversation about pretending everything is fine. It's a conversation about how human beings, and particularly Jews with a long spiritual tradition, can live honestly with uncertainty while still moving forward. So if you've felt anxious lately — and honestly, who hasn't — I think you'll find this discussion both practical and deeply thoughtful. Visit Dr. Rosmarin on line at https://dhrosmarin.com/, and join his free webinar here. Find the Women's Gallery Podcast on Spotify, Apple, or anywhere you get your podcasts. To listen to the latest episode of Intimate Judaism, Don't Look, Don't Tell, click here. Check out the Stream of Dreamearly Podcast on Apple, Spotify, or any other podcast provider. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! When disturbing stories emerge from within a religious community, the instinctive response is often immediate: they don't represent us. But what comes after that? In recent weeks, incidents involving religious Jews, from violence connected to Israeli settlers to attacks that shocked fellow Orthodox communities, have forced difficult questions into the open. How should a religious society respond when wrongdoing appears within its own ranks? When does healthy skepticism become denial? And what responsibility do leaders and ordinary community members bear when disavowal alone feels insufficient? In this episode, Rabbi Yitzchak Blau joins me for a thoughtful and challenging conversation about moral responsibility, communal leadership, and the tension between loyalty and honesty, particularly within the Modern Orthodox and Religious Zionist world. This is not a political discussion but a religious one. It is a conversation about truth, accountability, and what it means for a community to live up to its own values. To listen to the latest Q&A episode of Intimate Judaism, click here. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! Let me begin with a slightly uncomfortable question. How much of what we believe, value, and even desire has been shaped not by Torah, not by education, but by advertising? Every year during the Super Bowl, companies spend many millions of dollars for a single minute of our attention. We laugh at the commercials, we quote them, many people look forward to them more than the game itself. But commercials are also doing something more; they are not neutral. They are carefully crafted arguments about happiness, success, identity, relationships, and what kind of life we are supposed to want. And that creates a real issue for people who live according to the values associated with a Torah lifestyle - particularly because the power of advertising often lies in its subtext, or the metamessage. These commercials show us a mirror of what society cares about, while at the same time shaping and teaching these values and concerns without our conscious knowledge. It can be frightening to realize that we are being powerfully affected by messages that we may not even notice. Sometimes these messages are beneficial, and often they're somewhat insidious. Either way, they help create the filter through which we see the world - and that's why it's so important to pay attention to them, and work to uncover what they're telling us about the world in which we live. Put differently: if the Torah speaks to every generation and every cultural reality, as Rav Soloveitchik famously said, then we cannot simply switch off our religious consciousness when the entertainment begins. At the same time, this isn't only an endeavor for Orthodox Jews. Anyone who lives in the modern world benefits from learning how to watch culture thoughtfully instead of passively. Rabbi Uri Cohen joins me today to do something unusual. We treat this year's Super Bowl commercials as texts to be interpreted. We'll laugh a little, analyze a lot, and explore what these ads reveal about modern anxieties, technology, materialism, identity, and even anti-Semitism. And honestly, part of what we're doing today is simply enjoying that experience together. This is a fun episode. These ads are clever, creative, and often genuinely entertaining. The goal is not to condemn popular culture. It's to understand it. Because a Torah Jew is meant to live thoughtfully within the world, not outside it, and sometimes even a Super Bowl commercial can become a starting point for serious reflection. So yes, this episode is entertaining. But after hearing Rabbi Cohen's insights, it may also change the way you watch the next commercial break.  To listen to the latest Q&A episode of Intimate Judaism, click here. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! Since October 7th, something unexpected has been unfolding among young Jews in Israel and, in different ways, across the diaspora. It does not look like the teshuva movements we have seen before. It is not a mass rush toward full mitzvah observance. It is not simply people becoming more religious in the way our communities usually define that word. Instead, we are seeing a deeper, more complicated spiritual shift. Young soldiers with tattoos and piercings are asking rabbis how to recite a blessing after surviving battle. Secular officers are making brachot when fallen soldiers are brought home. Crowds sing "Ani Ma'amin" after Hatikvah, and no one is shocked that faith has entered the public square. Some young people are wearing tzitzit even if they are not shomer Shabbat. Others are joining public Kabbalat Shabbat davening, even if they head to the mall immediately afterwards. What ties all of this together is not nationalism alone, and not ritual alone. It is a felt encounter with God. Rabbi Kenny Brander of Ohr Torah Stone described standing at Har Herzl during funerals and feeling that it had become Har Sinai. He spoke about soldiers in Rafiah, Lebanon, and Syria who experienced what they believed to be divine presence, and how that pushed them toward meaning rather than away from it. At the same time, this awakening is bottom up, not top down. It is being shaped by young people themselves, not imposed by institutions. And that raises big questions. Is this moment temporary, born of trauma, or the beginning of a lasting transformation? Can Judaism endure with deep belief but partial practice? And how should religious communities respond without judging, shaming, or trying to control what is emerging? There is another layer as well. While many less observant Jews are moving closer to God, some observant Jews struggle to speak about God directly. We talk Torah, we talk halacha, we talk values, but God himself can feel strangely muted in our discourse. So are we witnessing a new chapter in Jewish faith, one that blurs old categories of religious and secular? And are we ready to listen to it? To explore all of this, I spoke with Rabbi Brander, who has spent these two years visiting soldiers, students, and communities across Israel. We discussed miracles in war, the power of sacrifice, the meaning of mitzvot as expressions of love, and how we might create new vessels for an ancient tradition. It's an important and essential conversation you won't want to miss. To listen to the latest Q&A episode of Intimate Judaism, click here. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! This episode of Orthodox Conundrum addresses an extremely painful and unsettling subject. Last week, we learned that Nechemya Weberman, who was convicted of repeatedly sexually abusing a minor, has had his prison sentence dramatically reduced. Although Weberman originally received a sentence of more than one hundred years, that sentence has now been cut to eighteen years, making him eligible for release in about two years. For many people, this news was shocking. For others, it felt like a confirmation of something they have feared for a long time. Because this is not only a legal story. It is a communal one. It forces us to ask not only what the court decided, but what happens when justice intersects with communal loyalty, religious authority, and the instinct to protect our own. This conversation is not about whether a crime occurred. That question was answered years ago in a court of law. The deeper question is what happens afterward. How communities respond. Whose voices are believed. And whose pain is ignored or exacerbated - sometimes consciously and openly - so that communal stability can be preserved. To help explore those questions, I am joined by three people who bring deeply informed and very different perspectives. Asher Lowy of Za'akah has followed the Weberman case for more than a decade and understands its history and its communal aftermath in ways few others do. Sarena Townsend is the attorney who represented the victim and worked to oppose the reduction of Weberman's sentence. And Shana Aaronson, the head of Magen in Israel, brings the essential perspective of victim safety, trauma, and what these decisions mean for survivors long after court proceedings end. Together, we discuss how and why the sentence was reduced, what remorse and rehabilitation are supposed to mean, and why in this case those concepts ring hollow for so many. But we also confront something even more uncomfortable. What does it say about a religious community when protection is extended more readily to perpetrators than to victims? And what happens when our drive to preserve our institutions and community structures leads us to abandon our internal moral compass? This is not an easy conversation. But it is one we cannot afford to avoid. To listen to the latest Q&A episode of Intimate Judaism, click here. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com  

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! Last week in Jerusalem, two babies lost their lives. The details are painful. The families are grieving. And out of basic decency, we are not here to dissect the specifics of what happened. But moments like these force a question that is deeply uncomfortable, yet absolutely unavoidable. When tragedy strikes, especially tragedy that may have been preventable, what are we supposed to do next? Too often, our instinct is to move quickly toward comfort. We say things like "it was the will of God," or "these things happen," or "this place had been used safely for years." And sometimes those words help people survive unbearable loss. But they can also become a way of shutting down responsibility. Because in real life, there is no rewind button. You don't get to go back and tighten a safety standard after something goes wrong. You don't get to undo a moment that lasted seconds but changed lives forever. In this episode of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast, I'm joined by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz and Rabbanit Dr. Yardaena Osband for a serious, honest, and at times difficult conversation about safety in the Orthodox world. We talk about why communities often confuse longevity with safety. Why "it never happened before" is not the same thing as "it can't happen." We explore the tension between faith and responsibility, between trust in God and our obligation to protect life using the knowledge and tools available to us. And we discuss what it means to build a culture where safety isn't treated as fear, but as an obligation. This is not a conversation about blame. It's a conversation about responsibility… before the next tragedy forces us to have it again. To listen to the latest Q&A episode of Intimate Judaism, click here. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com    

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! One of the most difficult questions in religious life is also one of the most basic: how do we show genuine respect for Torah and its teachers while still taking responsibility for our own moral and halachic decisions? At what point does kavod, or respect, become healthy reverence, and at what point does it quietly turn into something more dangerous, a way of outsourcing thought, conscience, and responsibility? Many of us were raised with a strong emphasis on deference. Trust the rabbis. Follow the gedolim. Do not question authority. And yet at the same time, my guest today, Rabbi Aryeh Klapper, insists that Judaism does not allow a Nuremberg defense - that is, you cannot say I was only following orders. Every individual remains accountable for his or her choices. So how do those ideas live together? Does independent thinking strengthen Torah or threaten it? Is there such a thing as going too far in thinking for yourself? Who decides who actually has authority, and on what basis? And perhaps most provocatively, is the category of "gedolim" we frequently reference a religious reality, or merely a political one? In this conversation, Rabbi Klapper challenges many assumptions that are often taken for granted in Orthodox discourse. He speaks about the dangers of imposed respect, the psychological cost of receiving kavod, the limits of rabbinic authority, and the responsibility that no Jew can ever fully give away, even to the greatest scholar. This discussion was thoughtful, nuanced, and frequently surprising. It is not about tearing down Torah leadership, but about asking what real Torah responsibility actually demands from each of us. This is a conversation about authority, respect, when it's appropriate to surrender our own judgment, and what it truly means to live as a thinking Jew within a halachic system. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com  

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content! One of the most common questions people ask about dating is a deceptively simple one: How do I know? How do I know whether to keep dating this person? How do I know whether this is the person I should marry? How do I know whether my doubts mean something is wrong, or whether I'm just afraid? For many people, dating becomes emotionally exhausting not because they lack options or insight, but because they believe that there must be a single, correct answer… and that getting that wrong would be catastrophic. That pressure often leads people to rush, to freeze, or to outsource responsibility to parents, rabbis, friends, or even strangers. My guest today, Rabbanit Shayna Goldberg, offers a very different (and deeply liberating) way of thinking about dating and decision making. Shayna is not a dating coach and not a therapist. She is a veteran educator who has spent decades teaching and listening to young adults as they navigate relationships, commitment, and uncertainty; she is also the author of What Do You Really Want? Trust and Fear in Decision Making at Life's Crossroads and in Everyday Living. What she brings to this conversation is not formulas or guarantees, but clarity. We talk about why the hardest decisions in life are rarely between right and wrong, but between multiple possibilities. We explore how fear quietly shapes many dating choices, whether it's fear of being alone, fear of hurting someone, or fear of committing. And we focus on two core questions that matter far more than any checklist: Do I respect this person? And do I trust this person? We also discuss how much weight to give chemistry, how to think about religious differences, when outside guidance helps and when it harms, and how parents can support their children without controlling their choices. If you've ever felt stuck, pressured, or overwhelmed in dating, or if you're a parent trying to help without violating boundaries, this conversation offers wisdom, perspective, and, I believe, a welcome sense of calm. Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Write to [email protected] to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com

Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and paid subscribers get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with additional bonus content! There's a recurring pattern in parts of the Orthodox world - one that has always troubled me, but in recent years has become impossible to ignore. We take individuals who have committed serious wrongdoing, sometimes admitted it in court, sometimes even served jail time, and we nevertheless elevate them to the status of heroes - not necessarily despite their criminal behavior, but in some ways almost because of it. Just a couple of weeks ago, Mishpacha magazine ran a glowing feature calling Sholom Rubashkin "the emunah and bitachon rebbe of the entire Jewish world," as though the only relevant fact of his story is his early release from prison. But as the record makes clear, including extensive evidence presented at trial, Rubashkin was involved in significant fraud, money laundering, and the exploitation of undocumented workers. Was his sentence excessive and unfair? Absolutely. Was there government overreach? No question. But that's not the same thing as innocence, and certainly not a basis for turning someone into a moral authority. Let me be clear: many of us have done things that we're not proud of, and that we wish we had done differently. The fact that Rubashkin went to jail is not the issue, so much as the fact that despite the real evidence, much of the Orthodox world treats him as if he were an innocent man who did nothing wrong, rather than an example of someone who was both perpetrator and victim. If he presented himself as an example of a baal teshuva, I would have no complaint. I would be pleased and fully supportive if we looked at him as someone who committed crimes, but has repented and is now living an honest life. And if he acknowledged his conviction as just and also complained about government overreach, he would be in the right. But that's not what's happening - and the consequences for the Orthodox self-image and behavior are serious. And this is not just a Haredi phenomenon. In the Modern Orthodox world, Jonathan Pollard has long been held up as a heroic defender of Israel. But as Rabbi Jeremy Wieder points out in our conversation, Pollard betrayed the country of which he was a citizen, took large sums of money for his actions, and passed along intelligence, the scope of which none of us fully know. The fact that the U.S. government mishandled his sentencing - which is terrible - does not magically transform espionage into idealism. So why do we do this? Why does our community repeatedly turn criminals into role models—sometimes even into teachers of faith and morality? What psychological, sociological, and ideological needs are we trying to satisfy? And more importantly: what message are we sending to our children when we confuse suffering with righteousness, and denial with integrity? In today's episode, Rabbi Jeremy Wieder helps us unpack all of this. We discuss Rubashkin, Pollard, Aryeh Deri, the role of media and influencers, the dangers of denial and victimhood narratives, and the guardrails communities should adopt so that real role models—not the loudest, or the most dramatic, or the most persecuted—become the people we admire. It's an honest and necessary conversation about integrity, responsibility, and choosing heroes who actually reflect Torah values. We're excited to announce that we at Jewish Coffee House are continuing to expand the conversation by bringing you—our listeners—into the mix. Introducing JCH Q&A, an exciting new podcast where listener-submitted questions are answered in a thoughtful, honest, and engaging way. We plan to dive deep into your pressing hashkafic, political, and philosophical questions. We will address the ideas that matter, the issues that challange us, and the topics that spark real curiosity. To submit a question for our first episode, you must be a member of the JCH Podcast WhatsApp Community. (Join here.) No question is off limits, and all submissions will remain anonymous. We're looking forward to answering your questions on our first episode! Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108). Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse. Check out https://jewishcoffeehouse.com/ for the Orthodox Conundrum and other great podcasts, and remember to subscribe to them on your favorite podcast provider. Also visit https://www.jchpodcasts.com/ to learn all about creating your own podcast. Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com