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I would like to just discuss a couple of mental traps that happen to the athletes that I work with on a daily basis. The 3 things that I want to talk about today are catastrophizing, shoulding, or using the word should in an improper context, and rumination.

Episode #279 Two Things I would work on with your team by Riley Jensen

Review of my Book Pure Unadulterated Guts

Hey guys, let’s keep it real today — somebody asked me the other day: ‘What does resilience actually FEEL like?’ And I was thrown off a little bit, because that’s a fantastic and DEEP question. Because here’s one thing everyone gets wrong: We all think resilience feels and looks like a Rocky montage, slow-motion running, music, sweat dripping over us, looking heroic… right? NOPE. Resilience actually feels like absolute garbage in the moment. Straight-up messy, ugly, “why am I doing this to myself” vibes. When you’re grinding, when you’re stuck, when you’re NOT performing yet… it does NOT feel good. It feels like frustration city. And I used to hate that. I’d think to myself, ‘If I’m frustrated, I must be failing.’ But then it hit me… frustration is literally the address of the Learning Zone. Think about it: • A baby learning to walk falls 400 times…screams…then tries again. Frustrated. • You learning to drive, cook, dance, code, post on TikTok without cringing… same deal. • Me trying to hit a new PR or nail a skill on the field is usually equated to pure frustration. Frustration isn’t the sign something’s wrong. Frustration is the sign something is HAPPENING. Growth is loading… So now when I feel that tighntess in my chest, that “I’m the suckiest suck of all sucks” voice, I literally smile and go: ‘Ohhh we’re in the Learning Space, let’s go! The magic isn’t speeding through the frustration to get to the ‘performing’ side faster. The magic is how LONG you’re willing to chill in the chaos. That’s what separates the people who quit from the people who end up unstoppable. So next time you’re frustrated, don’t run from it. Give it a high five. Say: ‘Thank you for showing up — this means I’m exactly where I need to be.’ Drop a note in the comments if you’re in the Learning Space right now. And tag a friend who needs to hear that frustration is really just growth in progress. Let’s learn to embrace the the grind, not just the glory. Love your guts! — see you in the messy chaos that is performance!

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Mindest Matters Podcast. I am your host Riley Jensen, and today, we are discussing the 5 Things I’d Tell You as a Mental Performance Coach If I Wasn’t Afraid of Hurting Your Feelings Stop coaching your kid from the bleachers. When you yell instructions during the game, you’re not helping—you’re creating triangulation. Your kid now has two coaches with two different agendas, and guess whose voice suddenly matters more? Yours. Because you sign the checks and tuck them in at night. That means they tune out the actual coach—the one who’s with them 5 days a week—and start scanning the stands for Dad’s head nod or Mom’s thumbs-up. You’ve just split their attention and tanked their performance. Your athlete should love you the most… but they should listen to their coach the most in competition. Keep your mouth shut or sit in the parking lot. Those are the only two options that don’t hurt the team. Quit telling them “how could anyone miss that play?” That’s the spotlight effect on steroids, and you’re pumping it straight into their veins. 99% of the crowd is thinking about their own kid, their phone, or where they parked. Nobody is replaying your daughter’s missed serve in slow-motion except you. Every time you say “everyone noticed,” you add 10 pounds of invisible pressure. Tell them the truth: “Literally no one will remember that tomorrow except you… and me, because I’m obsessive. Let it go.” The car ride home is either medicine or poison. You’re choosing poison. That 12 minutes after the game is sacred. It can refill their tank or drain it for the entire next week. If you launch into critique the second the door shuts, you’ve turned the car into a coffin. They’re trapped. Seatbelt on, nowhere to run, while the most important voice in their life dissects everything they did wrong. New rule: First person to talk about the game buys ice cream for the whole family next Friday. Watch how fast everyone shuts up and starts saying “I’m proud of you” instead. Stats are crack, and you’re the dealer. Batting average, goals, points—those numbers light up the same part of your brain as slot machines. But they’re a terrible measure of your kid’s actual contribution 90% of the time. The hustle plays, the screens, the decoy runs, blocks, the locker-room energy, noticing when there are a good teammate—none of that shows up on the stat sheet, but it’s usually why the team wins. When you only celebrate the numbers, you teach them that invisible work is worthless. Then watch them stop doing it. Congratulate the process louder than the points, or don’t be shocked when they become selfish stat-padders. Never, ever let them hear you talk about how much this is costing. The second money enters their brain during competition, performance dies. “I didn’t want to mess up after that $600 tournament fee” … “We drove six hours for this, you better play well” … those sentences are performance assassins. If you can’t afford it without guilt-tripping them, don’t sign them up. Simple. Your kid already feels pressure to justify your sacrifice. Don’t make them carry the receipt in their head while they’re trying to hit a backhand. Here’s the bottom line: Your athlete doesn’t need another coach, another critic, or another accountant. They need one safe adult who lets them play without fear, without shame, and without owing anybody anything. Be that adult. Everything else is noise. Like this if it stung a little. Save it and watch it again next Friday night when you’re tempted to open your mouth in the fourth quarter. See you on the field. And keep your coaching voice in the trunk where it belongs. Please like and share this post so the parents that need to see it, do.

#PureUnadulteratedGuts #GrowthMindset #MentalPerformance #AthleteMindset #LeadershipGrowth #SportPsychology #ResilientMindset

"Your mindset is the ceiling on your performance—or the fuel that breaks through it. In Chapter 14 of my book, Pure Unadulterated Guts, we dive into cultivating a growth mindset—what it means, how to apply it, and why it’s the difference between average and elite. This week’s podcast expands on these ideas with real-world examples you can apply today. Tune in and level up your thinking."

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