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Your stories don't define you, but how you tell them will. Mark could have shared this story from the perspective of a victim - of COVID, of a collapsing business, of a his own failure. But he didn't. What you'll hear in Mark's brief story is one of awe and gratitude for having exactly the right person in his life to have the ideas and the courage to pivot when things went sideways. That's the thing about the best storytellers, they always ALWAYS include other characters. Those characters aren't always people. In some of my stories the mountain I hike on almost every day becomes a character. The other character in Mark's story is his wife. Instead of agreeing with him that the sky was falling, she immediately saw the potential pivot of his side business to become his primary source of income. It was an unlikely and almost accidental pivot, with no business plan and no preparation. Just immediate, strategic action. "'...let's go to the computer.' So she kind of walked me through because my mind was racing and she was so calm. And she goes, Okay, let's get you a domain name. Like, we didn't write a business plan - she came up with seo249.com. And we kept making pivots, and the business took off so much that we had over 50 employees at one time, just on seo249, which is smart, but we grew into becoming a major player in the seo world." Listeners, now it's your turn: Did Mark's story remind you of an experience when exactly the right person showed up at a pivotal moment and supported you in a meaningful and maybe unexpected way? How do other characters contribute to the story so you can demonstrate your values and talents through it?  Episode Highlights: Crisis: Mark's newspaper business collapsed overnight with the March 2020 COVID-19 lockdown, causing him intense fear. Pivot: His wife provided the calm, strategic clarity he needed. She suggested leveraging an existing, minor SEO service he offered. Action: Her advice was simple: Sell the service for $249/mo (cost: $100/mo). They immediately registered seo249.com. Outcome: The business grew to over 50 employees and became a major industry player, enabling a location change to Colorado and a remote-first lifestyle. Analysis: The story reveals Mark's trust, vulnerability, and belief in a true partnership. His willingness to listen to his wife's advice was key to the pivot's success. About Mark: Mark Blum is a marketing professional with over two decades of experience, having worked in the industry since 2000. Originally from Los Angeles, he now calls Colorado Springs home, where he lives with his wife, Kasia, and their dog, Coffee. Mark is the founder of SEO249.com, a Colorado Springs SEO agency built around a proprietary Cluster Authority SEO methodology, and he leads Blum Marketing Group along with several related ventures. He and Kasia also co-founded Giving Group Colorado Springs, a local nonprofit organization. A lifelong Chicago Cubs fan, Mark brings the same loyalty and long-view thinking to his work that he brings to his team — he's driven by a love of challenging himself and finding smarter, unconventional ways to solve problems rather than settling for the obvious approach. Visit Mark's website, connect with him on LinkedIn, and check out his nonprofit site! About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

Introducing EZRA FRECH: "I Was Put on This Earth to Change the Way We See Disability" from On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Follow the show: On Purpose with Jay Shetty Ezra Frech shares the mindset, discipline, and determination that have shaped his career and led him to win two Paralympic gold medals. From turning heartbreak in Tokyo into motivation to using visualization and meditation to perform under pressure, Ezra reveals how he prepares for the biggest moments of his career. He also opens up about competing on Dancing With the Stars, breaking down misconceptions about disability, and founding Angel City Sports to make adaptive sports more accessible to the next generation. Instagram Teen Accounts: Built-in protections for teens. Learn More. At https://chase.com/sapphirereserve JAY'S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Introduction 01:20 "Pressure Doesn't Exist" 02:51 The Day Ezra Was Born 06:24 The 15-Hour Surgery At Age 3 11:15 The Kindergarten Letter 13:29 Learning To Handle The Stares 16:21 Overcoming Stigma And Bullying 23:18 Falling In Love With Sports 27:00 Changing Culture & Looking Ahead to LA 2028 31:09 Mentorship From Pau Gasol 33:56 A Message From Novak Djokovic 36:53 How Do You Define Confidence? 40:43 The Moment That Inspired His Paralympic Dream 44:35 Making Team USA At 14 48:41 How Running Blades Actually Work 52:09 Tokyo Heartbreak & "The Man In The Arena" 58:53 Visualizing Paris Gold Every Morning 01:04:50 Protecting His Good Leg 01:11:33 Winning Double Gold & The 20-Minute Rule 01:17:00 Meditation Under Pressure 01:20:34 A Lifelong Dream to Compete on Dancing With the Stars 01:24:14 Inside the Dancing With the Stars Family 01:27:19 Learning To Dance On A Blade 01:30:12 Pressure Is A Privilege 01:32:10 Making Adaptive Sports Mainstream 01:37:10 Ezra On Final 5 Episode Resources Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/ezrafrech/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@ezrafrech Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/teamezra05/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to [email protected].

"…And I just watch their whole body relax and their faces would light up even more. For me too, because while this was a wonderful day for so many reasons, I love my vendor tables, I love speaking, and I love interacting with people one-to-one. It was the trifecta. I had all the pieces and I had my place to sit. And honestly, I mentioned earlier that I was in a beautiful space." For Kristen Peairs, this was a pivotal moment, the realization that her work over the past many years brought her to exactly this point in time. Through trial and error, she recognized exactly what she needs to feel successful, to know she's making an impact and is on the right track. Before her keynote speech she and her assistant set up a vendor table at the conference. The space was beautiful, full of light, and the other vendors seemed to get the same message: Make space that's welcoming, safe, intriguing. Before she spoke, a handful of people wandered by her table, some stopped to glance at the greeting cards she creates. But after her post-lunch keynote, back at her table, people came over and really engaged. They bought cards, and many picked up a "standing in the question" story card and read it out loud. Kristen guided them in what the question might uncover for whatever is feeling stuck for them, and they'd light up with wonder and insight. Like many of us, Kristen can be very outgoing in certain situations, and this was one of them. Also like many of us, she was exhausted after a full day of being "on". At the same time, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had just experienced something important to her. Now, looking back and sharing the story, she knows what it was: A pivotal moment when the pieces seemed to just fit together, telling the story of how far she's come and what that means for her future. Listeners, now it's your turn: What will you take from this conversation? Did any memories come up for you, a time when you suddenly realized you were in exactly the right place in that moment? Did you notice your own body's response to Kristen's joy in describing where she was? Did you feel that light, that sense of awe she felt as she described it? Will you take a moment to notice the energy you're sharing as you tell a story? Is it positive? Is it energetic? Episode Highlights Pivotal Insight: A conference keynote revealed Kristen Peairs' true joy comes from deep, 1-on-1 connections at a vendor table, not the speaking itself. "Constellation of Joy": This insight led to the "constellation of joy" framework—a personal ecosystem of people, spaces, and support (e.g., AV tech, food) that enables thriving. Podcast Story: The episode will focus on the conference story, contrasting pre- and post-keynote vendor table interactions to illustrate the power of connection. As always, thanks for listening to your stories don't define you, how you tell them will. About Kristen: Kristen Peairs, MS, ACC, is a professional speaker, stick figure artist, and ICF-certified coach who helps entrepreneurs and professionals find clarity when they feel stuck, overwhelmed, and unsure of what to do next.   In 2022, she created the Standing in the Question Navigational Tool to illustrate how we can sustainably move forward during times of hardship and uncertainty. Her work is a reminder that humanity is not separate from business success - it is often the foundation of it.   Kristen holds degrees in Hospitality Management and Nutrition and has spent more than 20 years studying leadership, communication, and personal wellbeing. Her fascination with the energy underlying human connection has led her to explore Human Design, the ways people influence one another, and the role our relationships and environments play in how we thrive. She also hosts a growing YouTube channel focused on energy, relationships, and how we can begin shifting our experiences before ever saying a word. Connect with her on LinkedIn and let her know you heard this episode! About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

"And I just couldn't do it. And I wrote the guy at the publishing company in LA and said I can't do this... Because I'd finally found, I think, the holy grail of life, which is peace of mind and people that love you. And to sign that contract would put me back on the road." Ezra Vancil had been a successful musician, and with that came years of addiction and eventually the destruction of his marriage and his relationship with his teenaged son. But at 40 he got help, gave up alcohol and drugs, and one of his original song recordings posted on social media caught the attention of a couple of publishing companies. He was this close to signing a contract, realizing what he thought was his dream, and turned it down. "And it's just my chest would sink every time I sat down and talked to these people or sat down and worked on the contract. It would just sink. And I didn't know why. You know, I couldn't figure out why - what this fear was." He was looking down at the contract, pen in hand, when his older brother called. "I think I could help you start a company. And I think think you'd be really good at it." Ezra put down the pen. He didn't really know what a pivotal moment that was until years later. Looking back, he can see it clear as day, that was the moment he took inventory and realized his dreams, his aspirations, his definition of success, had completely changed. Listen to the story of that moment, and as we pull threads you'll hear a related moment in time, years later, that might just bring tears to your eyes. Listeners, now it's your turn: What will you take from this conversation? Did any memories come up for you, a time when you realized your goal had shifted? Did you keep going, head down, or did you pivot? Will you be somebody who now takes inventory before you get single-minded about a goal over the long term Will you be a person who sees a decision and the potential for consequences of the choice you made? Will you be more present in this moment, knowing that it's not the things that happen to you, that define you, but the way you talk about them? As always, thanks for listening to your stories don't define you, how you tell them will. About Ezra: Ezra Vancil is an award-winning Texas singer-songwriter, entrepreneur, and marketing executive whose career has spanned music, business, and personal reinvention. After signing a development deal early in his music career, addiction derailed both his life and career for more than a decade before he rebuilt through recovery. Today, he leads a successful marketing company with his son, while continuing to write and record music independently, including a father-daughter collaboration with his daughter, Cozi. His story is one of second chances, choosing family over fame, and discovering that success is measured less by recognition than by the life you build. Follow Ezra on Instagram, and check out his website to hear his music and learn more about his story. About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

Lately I've been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep your attention while still offering insights and entertainment. What you've been hearing is a brief story of pivotal moment, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you: One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself. And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way so you hear how I compose my words, phrases, and use tone-of-voice to add dynamics and meaning. I shared an epic story in episode 446 about a crazy adventure that happened just over 20 years ago when my husband broke his leg about 2 miles from a trailhead on a remote mountain in Montana, and I got our 2 boys, then 4 & 6, my husband, and our two dogs off the mountain and to the emergency room. I've often said that your stories don't have to be epic, they need to be meaningful. My point is that everyday moments of joy, grief, and humor, can be far more relatable than the "I almost died" or celebrity sighting stories. But there is a time and a place for an epic story, for the entertainment value, and for the long tail it generates of meaningful moments in the days, months, and years afterward. The lessons you learned, the evidence of resilience you carry, and the relationships that grew and changed as a result of that epic experience. In episode 447 I shared the story of how my friend Stephanie showed up for me in an unexpected and powerful way, and what I learned from her support about receiving and community-building. Today's story is another related one, and takes place many years later. I was on my way back from a hike with my dog and nodded a greeting to a woman walking up the trail with a variety of small and medium dogs. We smiled at each other as our dogs had a very polite "meet and greet". When I asked about her fur babies, there was a catch in her voice as she said: "These two were my mother's. She passed away two weeks ago." I couldn't see her eyes, we were both wearing sunglasses, but I could feel her grief coming in waves between us. I walked toward her, arms open, and she stepped forward so I could hug her – hard. She sobbed and I held space for her grief. When we separated, she told me about her mom's death and about her mom's life. There was humor laced in with the grief and I was there for all of it. Fully present and leaning in. What the woman didn't know (and I'll never tell her) is that I was experiencing significant grief, too. I had lost my father recently and was still struggling with that grief. We continue to run into each other once in a while, but not often, and just a few months ago I saw her with her partner and dogs on the trail. She said: "Hey there! You know… I still tell the story of how we met, and I still call you my Trail Angel." She hugged me before we went our separate ways. There was a time when it was a real challenge for me to receive – to accept help – and even harder to ask for it. But in the months following my husband's accident I learned a lot about receiving with grace and gratitude. It's taken me a lot longer to learn how to receive with the vulnerability that connects us even more deeply. What I've learned is that when we practice receiving, when we learn to take inventory about our needs and know who to ask for help, support, and encouragement, we become much better at giving, too. I was able to hold space for this stranger because I have received that gift over and over again. It was the months after my epic story of getting my family off a mountain that taught me some of my most important lessons about community. We can't build a strong, meaningful, and sustainable community if we don't allow and encourage others to contribute. And community doesn't happen by accident. We build community when we step out of our comfort zone to say hello to our neighbors, invite them for a coffee or a meal, and learn what kind of giving lights them up. We build community by receiving with grace, gratitude, and vulnerability. It's not easy for most people, especially in the years following the pandemic's social restrictions. But if we don't model community-making for our kids, friends, and neighbors, we will continue to experience loneliness, isolation, and division. I couldn't be more grateful for my community and the early lessons that helped me build it. Knowing I'm surrounded by people who care deeply about me and my family, people who have a variety of skills and abilities that serve a variety of needs – that's what gives me the ability to give when I'm also grieving. Listeners, now it's your turn: What story can you share about a time when a person showed up for you in a meaningful and maybe unexpected way? Did my story remind you of an experience when you had an opportunity to show up for someone when you were going through a rough time, too? Can you share a story of showing up for someone without it sounding like you're bragging or patting yourself on the back? Did you hear how I shared my story to include other characters, developed the story with small details, and shared how it made me feel at the end? I hope you'll collect your stories, practice them, and know when it's time to share so you can connect more deeply and to allow another person to learn from them. As always, thanks for listening to Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will. If you're curious to learn about working with me, visit my website, elkinsconsulting.com to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about strengthsfinder, storytelling, and public speaking. About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

"But every time they had different stories to tell... about how they reflect on this, how they've grown, how they've become more forgiving, things like that." Early in his career, Terry Rubin worked for The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour in New York City and was sent to Oklahoma City within 24 hours of the bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building on April 19, 1995. His job was to find the stories, connect with the right people to interview, and manage the details of coordinating crew and journalists to interview people onsite. He found a bombed-out church near the site, its beautiful stained glass windows completely shattered, and the stories just started to flow. The relationships Terry developed deepened over time, and the crew returned to that community weeks and months later, hearing how their experience continued to shape their lives.  The stories evolved over time, incorporating more memories, hearing the experiences of others nearby, and with more perspective on how those events changed their lives forever. That's the thing about these big events we experience and hear about: There are millions of stories that come out of them. Each individual has their own perception of events, each person's life changes in small and significant ways that we can't recognize until years later. Those pivotal moments don't necessarily happen at that moment in time. They happen when we look back from a different perspective, when we notice our own courage and resilience, when we realize how our relationships with ourselves and others shifted. As Terry and I talked about his experience then, I was transported to where I was on that day and the way that event changed our communities after. I wasn't there in Oklahoma City, I don't have a direct connection to the tragedy. But I do have stories related to it, and they're relevant and meaningful. The "where were you when...?" questions can bring deep connection, as long we are open to the ripple effects of events and not comparing our experiences in a way that judges them for proximity. Listeners, now it's your turn: Did our stories remind you of your answers to the "where were you when..." question? Can you see now how those experiences shaped your current worldview?  Can you find a meaningful moment that was a direct result of each of those experiences? What do those moments offer in terms of lessons for you? Key Takeaways Pivotal Story: A last-minute assignment to the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing coverage launched Terry Rubin's career, accelerating his promotion to field producer at age 29. Core Insight: The experience taught Rubin that meaningful stories are found in small, human moments (e.g., a pastor's resolve, a child's song), not just the epic events themselves. Business Application: This insight now drives Rubin's work at The Professional Communicators, where he helps clients use strategic storytelling to make abstract business concepts tangible and build stronger connections with their intended audience. As always, thanks for listening to Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about Strengthsfinder, storytelling, and public speaking. After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show. The new format for my show aligns with what I'm learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I've been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you. My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to  find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are. About Terry: I am the Co-founder/co-owner of the Professional Communicators, a communication training, coaching, and consulting firm. We have been in business for 9 years, and worked with almost 200 clients and thousands of executives, mid level managers, and sales teams helping them improve their public speaking and communication skills. Prior I was a Journalist for the PBS NewsHour for 20 plus years and a high School Speech and Debate coach. My current work combines the best of those worlds as I help people tell their stories and be better communicators. Whether complicated technical information, loads of data, or wanting to be motivational and call people to action, I help people reach their communication goals. I am married to an amazing wife and have two fantastic kids who are 7 and 9. I am a huge Indiana University sports fan and love the performing arts. Visit Terry's website to learn more, and connect with him on LinkedIn to see the great content he shares on that platform. About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

"I was frustrated, exhausted, and close to tears, when I suddenly heard a lawn mower outside our bay window. Our neighbor was mowing our lawn." I didn't ask him to do it. I didn't even know he knew the stress that was happening in our house. When my husband broke his leg two miles from the trailhead in a remote part of Montana, I learned about my own resilience, resourcefulness, and grit. It was an epic adventure getting my family off a mountain, and I love to share it when the opportunity arises. But it's not the epic story that holds the most meaning for me. It's the experiences it generates days, months, and years later. I shared the story in episode 446, and this week's episode is about how our community showed up for us in our recovery from that adventure. Most of us are much better at giving than receiving, but to build and nurture a strong community we must be able to accept help with grace and gratitude. Strong relationships require an aspect of reciprocity, not constant selfless service. Listeners, now it's your turn: Did my story remind you of something from your past? Can you see now how that difficult experience helped shape you, and the meaningful moments that were a direct or indirect result of the epic story? What do those moments offer in terms of lessons for you? --- As always, thanks for listening to Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about Strengthsfinder, storytelling, and public speaking. After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show. The new format for my show aligns with what I'm learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I've been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you. My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to  find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are. About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

Your stories don't define you. How you tell them will. I'm Sarah Elkins, your host and chief storymaker at Elkins Consulting. If you've been listening to my show for a while, you've probably noticed a big change in the format in recent weeks. Summertime is hard on podcasters! We lose a lot of our listeners this time of year and it can be difficult to be motivated to keep putting out quality content when we know people aren't as likely to listen. This summer I've been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep a person's attention while still offering insights and entertainment. What you've been hearing, and will continue to hear in each episode, is a brief story of pivotal moment, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you: One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself. And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way so you hear how I compose my words, phrases, and use tone-of-voice to add dynamics and meaning. You've probably heard me say: "Your stories don't have to be epic. They have to be meaningful." But there is a time and a place for an epic story. They can be life-defining, entertaining, and a great way to gather people together. And it's the days, months, and years of related stories generated from the experience that offer far deeper insights and lessons than the experience itself. In today's episode you'll hear one of my epic stories, when, 20+ years ago, my husband broke his leg about 2 miles from a trailhead in a remote wilderness area. I had to find a way to get my husband off the side of a mountain, along with our 4 and 6-year-old boys and a puppy. Over the next few weeks, I'll share some of the meaningful moments that were generated by the epic event. These are the gold of the story - the lessons learned, the deep friendships, and the self-realizations - that happen when you're truly put to the test. This is where we learn grit, resilience, and the importance of being able to receive. After you've heard my story, listeners, it'll be your turn: Were you reminded of an epic event in your life? Can you recall the related stories from that event, the meaningful moments generated by it? What lessons can you take away? Can you share those stories without sharing details of the epic event itself? As always, thanks for listening to Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about strengthsfinder, storytelling, and public speaking. About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

What do you do when you've lost everything? Pivotal Moment: A 2015 wildfire destroyed his home, including the 180-page hard-copy manuscript for his latest novel, Gridless Near Seattle. He rebuilt his life over and over again in the past, but after a wildfire took out his beautiful log home along with the draft of his recent novel, Thomas couldn't bring himself to go back to it. That momentum-killer of loss held him for 7 years - until the right messenger showed up to remind him he's a writer, a talented one, and that he needed to sit down and get started again. He restarted the novel, changed the title to Osprey Gold, and incorporated real-life experiences like his loss of a newly planted vinyard, thanks to highly motivated bears, and the pivot to a legal cannabis growing farm. Curious? Listen to the episode, and then buy the book. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Listeners, now it's your turn: What will you get back to work on, after hearing Thomas' story of resilience and persistence? Who are the people who advocated for you, who are the people you'll listen to when you need a champion and cheerleader? --- From Thomas Lion I've lived a long, colorful life — retiring from major marijuana wholesaling at 25, followed by five fugitive years that ended in an Unsolved Mysteries capture and years incarcerated teaching GED classes. My 1998 memoir was later optioned by Lions Gate. Between Osprey Gold and the Unsolved Mysteries American Fugitive memoir arc that came before it — the long road, the phoenix rise after losing everything in the 2015 wildfires, the rebuild, and the late‑life return to the writing rodeo — I've got a story your Boomer audience will connect with deeply. It's one of those rare indie author journeys that's truly worth telling. My writing comes from lived experience and resilience, with Osprey Gold shaped by the emotional engine of a modern‑day family facing crisis and reconciliation in polarized rural western America. Check out the reviews of Tom's book, Osprey Gold: Amazon.com: Osprey Gold: 9781662970191: Lion, Thomas: Books Interview with Thomas Lion, Author of Osprey Gold - Seattle Book Review Osprey Gold » BabyBoomer.org Book review of Osprey Gold - Readers' Favorite: Book Reviews and Award Contest --- About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

Your stories don't define you. How you tell them will. Hi! I'm Sarah Elkins, your host and chief storymaker at Elkins Consulting. If you've been listening to my show for a while, you've probably noticed a big change in the format in recent weeks. Summertime is hard on podcasters! We lose a lot of our listeners this time of year and it can be difficult to be motivated to keep putting out quality content when we know people aren't as likely to listen. This summer I've been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep a person's attention while still offering insights and entertainment. What you've been hearing, and will continue to hear in each episode, is a brief story of pivotal moment in my life, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you, dear listeners: One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself. And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way so you hear how I compose my words, phrases, and use tone-of-voice to add dynamics and meaning. In today's episode you'll hear two stories from my past, and a recent story that demonstrates insights from them. We experience meaningful moments every day, things that shape who we are and how we behave into the future, but most of us don't think about life that way. I've heard people talk about how raising kids takes a village, but when it's time to offer assistance and support, they quickly turn to judgment instead. Shaking their heads and "tsk tsk"ing under their breath, as if a parent doesn't see your expression or hear your judgment. And that's not helpful. Most of us have been on the other side of the equation, accidentally cutting someone off in traffic, and then a few minutes later honking at someone who does the same thing. Or allowing our frustration to erupt in a loud voice at our kid, and years later judging a parent for the same behavior. It was my experience as a parent that helped me see things from that perspective, but it shouldn't take being in their shoes to offer compassion and assistance. Watching the drama unfold at the airport brought it all back to me, the challenges of being a parent, especially of a toddler, and the ridiculousness of the judgment I experienced. Judged if I lost track of the toddler and judged by having the wrist tether on him. Judged if I give in to the tantrum and judged for walking away from the cartful of groceries. It's hard enough being a parent, with all the self-doubt and exhaustion, do we really need to add external judgment to the equation? Offering compassion to that father was a full-circle moment for me, a pivot-point in the realization that my experiences from the past truly shaped who I am today. Listeners, now it's your turn: Did a memory come back to you when you heard my stories in the episode? Did you see yourself in one or more of the characters, and did that generate an insight or discomfort in you? Remember, discomfort can be a powerful tool for self-reflection! Is there something you'll intentionally be more aware of after listening? Something you'll try to do differently when faced with an opportunity for compassion and support instead of judgment? ----- About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

If you've been listening to my show for a while, you've probably noticed a big change in the format in recent weeks. Summertime is hard on podcasters! We lose a lot of our listeners this time of year and it can be difficult to be motivated to keep putting out quality content when we know people aren't as likely to listen. This summer I've been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep a person's attention while still offering insights and entertainment. What you've been hearing, and will continue to hear in each episode, is a brief story of pivotal moment in my life, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you, dear listeners: One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself. And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way so you hear how I compose my words, phrases, and use tone-of-voice to add dynamics and meaning. In today's episode you'll hear an early episode of my podcast, #17, recorded and posted in December of 2017 called Desperate for Connection. I'm re-sharing it, nearly 6 years later, because it's still so relevant – even more relevant now. I don't know who unearthed this old episode, but when I looked at recent analytics for my website and podcast, this one had suddenly re-emerged. So I looked at it and listened to it and had a pretty big insight. Some of us were already talking about the desperation for connection we were seeing in our communities, even before COVID-19, even before our political environment was so seriously compromised and created irreconcilable division. It feels meaningful, this recovery of an old episode right now, as if I could see where things were headed and voiced my concern years before things really devolved. After you listen, it'll be your turn: Did a memory come back to you when you heard my stories in the episode? Did you see yourself in one or more of the characters, and did that generate an insight or discomfort in you? What will you do with this insight or discomfort? I hope you'll  see yourself in one or more of the characters at different times in your life, and that you'll make active, intentional decisions to shift the dynamic of loneliness by connecting with someone with genuine care. Whether that's offering a real, loving smile to a cashier at the grocery store or coffee shop, holding the door open for the person behind you, smiling and waving to let someone into a busy intersection or highway, or offering assistance to someone struggling to carry a heavy load. About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

Your stories don't define you. How you tell them will. Hi! I'm Sarah Elkins, your host and chief storymaker at Elkins Consulting. If you've been listening to my show for a while, you've probably noticed a big change in the format in recent weeks. Summertime is hard on podcasters! We lose a lot of our listeners this time of year and it can be difficult to be motivated to keep putting out quality content when we know people aren't as likely to listen. This summer I've been focused on brief, less than 20-minute episodes that keep a person's attention while still offering insights and entertainment. What you've been hearing, and will continue to hear in each episode, is a brief story of pivotal moment in my life, and then a thread pulled to generate insights about it. I have two goals for you, dear listeners: One – to uncover your related story for you to add to your collection to practice and have ready when the opportunity presents itself. And two – to demonstrate storytelling in a practical, approachable way so you hear how I compose my words, phrases, and use tone-of-voice to add dynamics and meaning. In today's episode you'll hear about a pivotal moment that changed me, a story filled with grief and joy in the same moment. Jewish tradition emphasizes that humans are uniquely capable of holding space for seemingly contradictory emotions at the same time, grief & joy, sorrow and gratitude. That it's part of our human experience, and the reason grief can feel so heavy and liberating at the same time. Given that my family experienced a lot of grief over the course of around two years, first my father-in-law, then two close friends who had fatal accidents but were otherwise healthy, and then my father, it's not surprising that those two years had me deeply rethinking my priorities. Which is why this pivotal moment, the one I'm about to describe, came as a surprise to me. I was sitting in a church, attending a memorial service for the mother of a dear family friend. I don't have a memory of reading her obituary, though I'm sure I did. What was deeply memorable was what the majority of people said as they took turns standing and speaking about their mother, grandmother, aunt, colleague, and friend. Almost every one of them mentioned receiving birthday cards and letters every year. They spoke about what it meant to them to see the envelope with her handwriting on it, that they waited until the day of the birthday to open it, no matter how many days ahead it arrived, that they treasured seeing the perfect card she would select, the beautiful, thoughtful words she would write, the way they felt when they held the paper in their hands – seen, loved, valued. Witnessing this outpouring of similar stories made me wonder what stories my family and friends will share when I'm no longer living among them. It was a pivotal moment - a reminder - that if I want to avoid regret, I must live in alignment with how I want to be known. Listeners, now it's your turn - What stories do people tell when you're not around? What stories are you sharing about your loved ones that will continue their legacy beyond your lifetime? The stories we tell about people say everything about who we are and what matters to us, so what stories are people telling about you? Are they consistently in alignment with the legacy you want to leave behind? --- Thanks for listening to Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website, elkinsconsulting.com to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work. --- About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

I've said this before, and I love the reaction I get from people: "If you have to tell people you're an expert, you're probably not doing it right." In this week's episode of Your Stories Don't Define You you'll hear my answer to a question from when I was a guest on a podcast, and the insights I continue to gain from it years later. Scott Ferguson asked me this question on his show It's Time To Shine Today: "What's one question people should ask when interviewing professional development coaches they might want to work with?" My answer might surprise you. It surprised him, and he has asked hundreds of coaches that question! In early 2018 I walked away from my first keynote presentation feeling great, knowing I did a good job because quite a few guests at the conference wanted to talk to me afterward. I received great evaluations a few weeks after the event, and people wanted to know if my book was available for sale at the conference… (I hadn't written it yet, but that's beside the point.) It was clear to me where I could continue to improve, and when I look back at that time, I know I did well. But I also know that just a few years later I gave a keynote that was significantly better. More refined and more polished, more engaging and with "stickier" language. And now, as I prepare for a keynote I'll give soon, I feel even more accomplished as a speaker. But the thing I keep coming back to is that as good as I feel about my progress and where I am now, I know that with practice and coaching, I may see exponential improvement over the next few years. I'm not done learning and developing as a communication professional and speaker. Here we are, friends, with another episode about how we can uncover a powerful, meaningful story and insights from what could be perceived as a simple question: "What's one question people should ask when interviewing professional development coaches they might want to work with?" Your answer to a question like that says everything about who you are and what matters to you. Listeners, now it's your turn: What question would you ask if you were considering hiring a coach for your professional development? Have you been asked a question that uncovered something important about your own progress and who has influenced you? What memory came back to you as you listened to my story and the insights I gained from that single question? Now that you have this reminder about the stories you share, what's one story you might choose to share differently? The stories we share say everything about who we are. --- After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show. The new format for my show aligns with what I'm learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I've been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you. My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to  find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are. --- Thanks for listening to Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website, elkinsconsulting.com to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work. --- About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

This week's episode came to me as I was working on my second book. I was adding yet another citation about research around how stories affect us, and for some reason, an interaction from a few years ago came back to me. It was a post on LinkedIn that I disagreed with, shared by someone I admire and respect. He was lamenting the criticisms and concerns people were bringing up about the story of Cinderella and the messages that story sends to girls. He suggested that sometimes a story is just a story. We'll set aside the fact that this person is a Rabbi, a Jewish spiritual leader, and that his entire belief system is based on stories. But at the time I didn't have the experience or relevant research that I have access to now, so I couldn't fully make my case. I pushed back in the comments, saying that I disagreed, that we couldn't pick and choose which stories had influence and impact and which didn't. I posted: "Can you tell a 4-year-old that they are expected to learn lessons about morality and ethics in bible stories and fables you share, but to ignore any possible lessons about the world they get through the fairy tales they read and Disney films they watch?" We get signals from everything we consume. When we're reading, listening, or watching, we pick up things that resonate with us, sometimes subconsciously. And stories are especially powerful. As I mentioned in my TEDx talk, bioengineering researchers Jens Madsen and Lucas Perra at City College New York found that when we experience story together, our heartbeats can start to fluctuate in sync. And neuroscientists like Paul Zak find consistent evidence that sharing stories can release oxytocin, the brain chemical associated with feelings of care, connection, and empathy. There's research coming out of Western Washington University that stories influence our identity even before we're verbal. The stories people tell about us give signals about what they believe our personality to be! Think about the conflicts this can generate when we're teenagers starting to explore our identity: We change over time, but our parents and other influencing adults in our lives tell us it's "just a phase", causing us to either rebel or to submit. In this episode you'll hear about narrative identity, and my hope is that you'll take this reminder - again - that stories are powerful, and that if you truly desire peace, safety, and community, you'll be more intentional about the stories you make and share. Listeners, now it's your turn: What childhood story popped into your head when you heard my story about not being good at math? Do you remember what stories other people shared with you or about you related to your story? Can you put the story into greater context now? Math represents a HUGE subject area, encompassing everything from basic addition and subtraction, to algebra, geometry, and advanced calculations. Can you see that failing a math test or even a semester of math doesn't mean you're not good at math overall, but maybe that particular area of math? Can you think of an aspect of your identity that you love, and find a story to support where it came from and how it has been reinforced over time? Now that you have this reminder about the stories you share, what's one story you might choose to share differently? The stories we share say everything about who we are. Thanks for listening to Your Stories Don't Define You, How You Tell Them Will. Are you curious to learn about working with me? Visit my website, elkinsconsulting.com to schedule time to chat and sign up for periodic updates about my work, and connect with me on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook for content about strengthsfinder, storytelling, public speaking. --- After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show. The new format for my show aligns with what I'm learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I've been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you. My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to  find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are. --- About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.

You won't be surprised to hear that I had another moment of inspiration on a recent hike… This time it was about seeing meaningful, pivotal moments not as the experience itself, but in how we talk about it later. In late August of 2018 my husband and I had an amazing opportunity to travel to southern France to perform with a jazz quartet at two venues. The first was in Arudy on the edge of the Pyrenees Mountains near the border with Spain. It was a sold-out community event attended by 200+ residents of the surrounding villages. Most of our audience didn't speak English or had very limited experience with it. The second performance was on the patio of a small bar in Eygalieres in Provence. We had some serious challenges over those two weeks, some obstacles we couldn't have anticipated and others we simply weren't prepared for. I had lots of meaningful moments, but most of them felt like lessons about what not to do, how to be more prepared for things, what to avoid in the future. About a week after we arrived back home in Montana I had a call scheduled with a new connection I made on LinkedIn a few weeks before our trip. At that point I had resolved not to talk about it because it felt like I could only share the obstacles. In my ears it sounded like I was just complaining about the adventure and ignoring the privilege of the experience, the honor of performing for audiences in those extraordinary places, like I was acting like a spoiled, entitled American. But the first thing my new friend asked was: "How was the trip? I was thinking about you and hoping you were enjoying yourself!" She heard the hesitation in my voice, the pain in my "it was fine" answer. And she switched gears. It was the question she asked next that was the pivot point, not necessarily my answer to it. --- Listeners, now it's your turn: What memory popped into your head when you heard my story? Have you been the person on the receiving end, asked a perfect question to shift your perspective? Have you been the person to ask a question that positively changed something for someone else? From previous episodes you may have a specific image of who I am, did today's story shift that image at all? Did it fill in some gaps for you? The stories we share say a lot about who we are. What's one story you can share differently to reframe the experience with more perspective and context? --- After more than 430 episodes of this podcast, I was recently inspired to change the format of the show. The new format for my show aligns with what I'm learning about narrative identity (how the stories we tell about ourselves internally and externally influence our identity) and demonstrates what I've been teaching for years: Sharing a story to reveal who you are and what matters to you. My hope is that future episodes will offer more clarity about great storytelling and how to  find and explore pivotal moments to demonstrate who we are. --- About Sarah: Sarah is a Montana based workplace communication trainer, TEDx speaker, DisruptHR speaker, public speaking coach, professional storyteller, musician, and podcast host. Her workshops and coaching packages with teams and their leaders are known to address and reduce miscommunication – the most common cause of tension and stress in the workplace. Using the team's results from the StrengthsFinder assessment, she guides teams in learning to speak each other's "language", learning to value each other's strengths and connecting with each other through enhanced self-reflection and effective listening.  Sarah's nearly 20 years working in government agencies inspired her to complete her MBA and to achieve her StrengthsFinder certification to improve work environments for others, guiding teams toward increased satisfaction, productivity, and happiness. Visit her website to purchase her book, Your Stories Don't Define You in paperback or audiobook.