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Professional Contestants

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Rating
★★★★★
4.5
from
17 reviews
Categories
Country
United States
This podcast has
276 episodes
Language
English
Date created
2018/01/23
Latest episode
2025/05/26
Average duration
61 min.
Release period
29 days

Description

Members of the world's first Professional Game Show Team discuss strategy, etiquette and how to be the best at every game show imaginable by any means necessary.

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272: Don't Spend the Night in Beast City - Beast Games
2025/05/26
*stumbles out of a cave squinting into the light of day* How long has it been? What year is it?? The new Pope is from Chicago?!?! Wow, we sure have a lot to catch up on, but lets start with the most important thing. Game shows have somehow found yet another way to confuse and dissapoint us. Just when we think we have seen it all, Mr. Beast - the modern day equivilant of a wealthy emperor who throws money at the poor for his amusement - has created a game show where he basically throws money at the poor for his amusement. It's time to force ourselves to learn about Gen Z's favorite exploitative stunt based content creator, and find a way to exploit his game show for our own gain. Zach has proudly never seen Squid Game, Jared insists that satire is dead, and Adam wants the new pope to eat a sloppy hot dog. Talking Points Include: Our Longest Unintentional Break, New Chicago Pope, Who Knows Most About Mr. Beast, No Bathroom Breaks, Take the 4th Bribe, Beast Crust, Carl Knows Nothing
OSHA's Eleven - Caesars Challenge
2025/03/12
We've been doing a lot of newer, shinier, well polished game shows lately. Now depending on who you ask, that could be a good thing or a bad thing. Sure, modern day streaming services offer a sort of quality guarantee with the programs they include - but only on YouTube will you be able to find a VHS quality recording of Ahmad Rashad and a Roman Centurion hosting a word jumble themed game show at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. So now that we know that that existed, there's nothing left for us to do but rob them blind. Zach does a live word jumble, Jared rekindles our old obsession, and Adam is marveled by slot machine themes. Talking Points Include: Big Dog Fever, Pine Wood Derby, Iditarod Wishes, Centurion of the Week, Ziggy Game Show, Jurassic Park Slots, Dino Racing, Rejected Addams Family Names, Casino Martial Law
The Accumulated Sins of Joey Tribbiani - Fast Friends
2025/02/17
Hello dear listeners! We're back after a longer than usual holiday hiatus, and this episode you're in for a real treat. Oh, no it isn't a good game show. Statistically those don't actually exist. No, this episode we are going to rage out on the set of beloved sitcom Friends and break everything in Monica's apartment. Isn't that just such a better idea than actually trying to win this game show? We think so too. Zach met himself from the future, Jared soft launches a new segment about local goverenment, and Adam asserts that there are statistically zero good game shows. Talking Points Include: Santa's Vacation Schedule, Municipal Roundup, The Adam Experience, Gunter Took Our Jobs, Joey is The Frasier of Friends, Squatters Rights in Monica's Apartment, The Bazinga Boys
The Yule Hog - Rocket Around the Xmas Tree
2024/12/23
Happy Holiday everyone! We truly hope that you and the friends and family that you spend this time of the year with are happy and healthy - celebrating the true meaning of the holidays. But maybe you are not... Maybe you're celebrating with someone who has lost sight of the reason for the season. Someone who needs their statis quo disrupted in order to appreciate what they really have. If that's the case, you better watch out, because there's a new holiday icon in town. A real, tangible pig who would love nothing more than to absolutely decimate your misguided holiday celebration. Keep an eye out for slop on your stoop - for it heralds the coming of the one and only Yule Hog. Zach misunderstands the vampires' curse, Jared introduces a new original holiday character, and Adam reasserts his jaded view on fireworks. Talking Points Include: A Personal Jacob Marley, Polar Bear Self Defense, Slop on the Stoop, Pandemic Vibes, Angry Birds Game Show, 1/4 of July, Dracula Can't Have Cheese, Christmas Rocket Applications, We Blast Off Again
My Wife Took the Dog in the Divorce - Finding Mr. Christmas
2024/12/16
Well folks, we've once again gone straight from Snake Day into the winter holiday celebrations, but thats just how the holiday calander shakes out sometimes. But let's not let that proximity get in the way of us fully diving into the holiday season with the most sickeningly Christmas steeped game show we may have ever done. Thats right, a Christmas themed competition game show produced BY Hallmark, FOR the Hallmark channel, with the prize being a STARING ROLL in a Hallmark Christmas movie. If you weren't in the Christmas spirit before, you best bet your baubles that you're about to be! Zach becomes Quasimodo, Jared lives truthfully under imaginary circumstances, and Adam leans into living alone. Talking Points Include: Our Most Popular Topic, The Harry Potter Attractiveness Scale, No Skinny Hagrids, The Eddie Episodes, Nothing but a Guitar, Ten of One Man, Yet Another Barbra Jean Appearance, An Intense Feedback Loop, Finding our Ember of Interest, Is it Cookie?
SAW Team Six - Saw: The Final Chapter
2024/12/02
It may be because we have had to watch seven of these movies, seven years in a row. It may be because we put it off for so long that we had to watch it during Thanksgiving instead of in October. It may just be the way the series goes. But this may truly have been the worst Saw movie we have experienced so far. Not only that, but at this point the traps are so avoidable we don't even have to spend much time strategizing. That way we have more time to misremember the plots of all the previous movies and complain about how we hate the one we just watched. And isn't that really what you come here for? Zach predicts Scrooge will be involved, Jared predicts piranhas will be involved, and Adam isn't allowed to predict because he's seen the movie already. Talking Points Include: Toad vs Cartman vs Jay Leno, An Extremely Late Snake Day Celebration, Jokes We Could Have Told, Attempting to Remember Saw Lore, Story and Trap Predictions, Cary Elwes' Lawsuit, A Clumsy Recap, Tobin Bell the Cool Teen, The True Alpha Male, Jigsaw Gets Woke, Our Future With Saw
ProCo 266: The Hamlet Witch Project - Fear
2024/10/28
Welcome back to another installment in our Snake With Big Teeth 2024 celebration. This time we watched a game show where literally nothing happens. Like, truly... nothing. So get ready for an episode that is half discussing the extended universe of Sonic the Hedgehog and half discussing Shakespeare's timeless classic Hamlet. Do we blur the lines between those two worlds? You'll have to listen to find out! (But I mean, yeah. Of course we do.) Zach liked Ghost Whisperer for the plot, Jared adds a new Haunted House Rule™, and Adam is definitely Tails. Talking Points Include: What Happened To Knuckles, Halloween Costumes, Fifteen Minutes of Silence, Top Ghost Complaints, Return of Jared's Haunted House Rules, All of Les Mis, A Chance to Shoot Our Spec Script, It Can't Be Happy's Place, Hamlet Live Commentary
ProCo 265: Mouse in the House - The Traitors
2024/10/14
The Traitors - It's a hit new reality game show. Not just that, at it's core it is a classic party game we have all played. Call it mafia, call it werewolf - everyone knows it and everyone thinks they're good at it. But what have people forgotten? That's right, the classic 1997 film Mouse Hunt. Against all odds that mouse comes out on top, and when everyone else forgets, we harvest top notch strategy to implement at Alan Cumming's stately Scottish castle. Zach has new finger bling, Jared still really wants to celebrate the solstices, and Adam is angry about reality stars. Talking Points Include: The Wedding Finger, Fighting Frollo, Snake With Big Teeth, How Many Saws are Left, The Oldest Party Game, Yearning for a Thick Werewolf, The Don't Ask Don't Tell Strategy, The Mouse Hunt Strategy, Dentist Cam
ProCo 264: Santa's Dirty New Deal - That Awkward Game Show
2024/09/03
Sometimes game shows are just easy to cheat at. Like, truly so easy that it would be more difficult to not do so. Like, I'm serious guys, there would be absolutely no chance that anyone invovled in the game show would be able to catch us, let alone prove that we had cheated. This one's an absolute gimmie. But dammit if we're not gonna basically ignore that fact entirely and come up with a convoluted way of getting Santa to pose as our dad instead. Zach insists he knows intimite secrets about Santa, Jared lets us into his mind palace, and Adam has an encounter that leaves him a changed man. Talking Points Include: An Endorsement From Young Sheldon, Bachelor Party Recap, Spike TV's Dark Desires, Defining a Band, Dissapointing Informed Delivery, Smokey The Slut, An Inception Break, Santa X FDR, Mr. The Penguin, Jared's Mind Bench
ProCo 263: He Spy - Pictureka
2024/07/29
There are numerous ways we could approach a game show where we have to run around searching for illustrations of wacky characters. We could create a bunch of our own illustrations and sneak them into the lineup. We could mark the answers with invisible ink you can only see under a blacklight. Hell, we could just study with flashcards. But don't work, Zach is just gonna win this one for us. Haven't you heard? He's really good at finding things. Just trust him. Zach is an older 29, Jared is the oldest 29 , and Adam is the youngest 29. Talking Points Include: The Oldest Age There Is, Snowden vs Assange, The Anatomy of Slimer, The Coolest Names, A 31 Year Old 17 Year Old, S**t Mysteries, The Principals' Punishment, Our New OCs, Adult Scavenger Hunts
Bartending in the Drift - I Draw, You Cook
2024/07/15
There are two things we've learned from the sales of modern art in recent years. The first is a piece of art is only as valuable as the amount a buyer is willing to pay for it. The second is if someone takes a bite out of the art it's value skyrockets. With that knowledge - we're about to make one lucky 8 year old an extremely sought after artist. Zach thinks modern kids are just little adults, Jared has thoughts about The Emperor's New Clothes, and Adam searches for a game show that will make him feel. Talking Points Include: Reba's Return to TV, PewDiePie the Kaiju, TaterTot vs Young Sheldon, Summer of Summers, Guernica Cake, Kids Know Broccoli, Naming Mythical Creatures, Benefits of Eating Gold, The President's New Clothes, Art Stunts
ProCo 261: The FanDuel ChapStick Hot Tub Radio Hour - Beat The Bridge
2024/07/01
Maybe it's because we're busy and our minds are cluttered. Maybe it's because we haven't recorded in a while and we're out of practice. Maybe it's because this game really is just that basic and easy and doesn't deserve our full brand of shenanigans. Regardless, this one we're just gonna win. No real plan necessary. Now let's get back to pitching our brand new talk show to Game Show Network - sponsored by FanDuel, ChapStick, and Hot Tubs. Zach uses chapstick in a unique way, Jared wants Optimus Prime to go solo, and Adam gets way too hung up on thumbs. Talking Points Include: This Story Has a Story, Zach's New Audio-Ruining Prop, The Gold Bond Challenge, Wiping East to West, Timothy Goggins, Our GSN Talk Show Pitch, Holographic Performers, Ryan Hospital, Show Me Your Thumbs
The Sins of the Uncle - Raid the Cage
2024/05/27
On a modern game show it can be easy to become distracted by all the sleek prizes, the flashy gimmicks, and the sometimes charismatic hosts. This time we can't let those distractions deter us. Sure, we could maybe make it out of this one with a bunch of money and prizes to take home, but the real prize is hidden in plain sight - on a flash drive hanging around Damon Wayans Jr's neck. Thats right, Scary Movie 7. The world needs to see it. Zach took a vacation for the first time ever, Jared thinks we've become jaded, and Adam has an amazing record as a matchmaker. Talking Points Include: ProCo Vacation, Bergeron Boys, A Bone Saw Type Antagonist, Secrets of Nic Cage's Haunted House, Suits Clips, Bartering at Safelife, At Home Services, The Whole World's The Cage, Scary Movie 7
ProCo 259: Whiskey for My Men, Jail for My Podcast - Barmageddon
2024/05/06
Blake Shelton is out here making a game show that is basically a commercial for his Nashville bar, where the booze is always flowing and the vibes are great. Well the Professional Contestants are gonna call you on that one, Blake. Be careful what you wish for because by the time we're done, your bar is gonna look like the aftermath of a Project X and your comically large medals will be nowhere to be seen. Zach's favorite bar game is "Get double crossed by that scary guy in the cave," Jared's favorite bar game is "Fake your death and show up at your own funeral," and Adam's favorite bar game is "Carry Madame Zeroni up the mountain." Talking Points Include: Road House '24, Ron DeSantis vs Public Libraries, Pointless Scoring System, Mark Cuban the BeatBox Guy, Slap The Bag 2.0, Slippery Stairs, Don't Piss Off Gwen, Most Likely to Drink On Set
I Am Spartafish - FishCenter Live
2024/04/17
Ok, we get it. Maybe we can't just climb into an aquarium and expect to automatically win a bunch of random chance games against some fish. But what if we make ourselves really tiny first? And what if one of us is scuba certified? And what if we get an octopus involved? It probably still wont work, yeah, WE KNOW. At least eating the other contestants isn't explicitly off the table this time. Zach is tickled by the idea of a fish naming another fish, Jared reminds everyone that he is scuba certified, and Adam can't imagine Godzilla running. Talking Points Include: All Hail The King, Godzilla Plus One, Getting Called Out Via Mail, A Televised Screen Saver, Mr. Limpet's Diplomatic Immunity, Dexterous Lips, Feeding Frenzy Friday, A Reverse Shawshank, Two Little Jareds

Podcast reviews

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4.5 out of 5
17 reviews
★★★★★
boi2547 2022/01/18
I love these boys but…
I love these boys they are definitely inspired by MBMBAM! The premise of the show is very fun, and every episode they find something to talk about e...
★★★★★
aammaalliiaa 2020/08/26
Can’t get enough of those sweet, sweet goofs
You want a good giggle, give these guys a listen. They’re like the McElroys but with a more specific topic of discussion
★★★★★
John42364901 2018/10/17
Ruined My Life with Good Comedy
These horrible, horrible comedy boys turned my life into a living comedy hell with their antics bits and hahas! My life’s been turned upside down. HEL...
★★★★★
Chilifrey 2018/04/10
Good Job
Good Job!
★★★★★
Lindafirst 2018/02/15
Fun!!
These guys have great chemistry, and are full of good goofs. Give them a listen!
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