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★★★★★

4.9

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9 reviews

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Life and God from a very broadly Christian perspective, with no filter, over cocktails. Progressive, Biblically grounded, LGBTQ-affirming, candid discussions about faith, life, politics, roller coasters, sex, and anything else that matters. ABOUT THE HOSTS Benton Stokes is a songwriter, a recording artist, an author, a worship leader, a podcaster, a collector of comic books, a lover of roller coasters, a dad, a friend, and (with ministry partner Elane O'Rourke) half of School For Seekers. Benton has a passion for helping post-Evangelicals, particularly queer men, find their way to healthy theology and healing perspectives. Benton co-hosts (with Elane) Cocktail Theology — a podcast that tackles topics such as defining what an abomination actually is, exploring why Christians and science are at odds all the time, and reclaiming Christian-ese language like "born again." All while sipping tasty libations. Rev. Dr. Elane O'Rourke is a spiritual director, lifelong teacher, theologian, mom, contemplative, Enneagram 1, and a bunch of the things Benton wrote. She was a philosophy prof for a decade, a pastor for another decade, and the instigator of School For Seekers since 2014. Elane's first book was A Dallas Willard Dictionary, written to explain the difficult words of Christian philosopher Dallas Willard, which may explain her role in the podcast she co-hosts with Benton, Cocktail Theology. Elane's deepest desire, and life's work, is for you to believe that you are God's cherished and beloved child, worthy of care and respect. For more information about Cocktail Theology, or its sponsor, School For Seekers, visit www.schoolforseekers.com

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What It Means To Be Unequally Yoked

2026/10/29

Elane and Benton tackle one of the most complex challenges in adult relationships: what happens when you and your partner are not on the same spiritual path? Moving far beyond the rigid, conservative definition of "unequally yoked" (Christian vs. non-Christian), the hosts draw candidly from their own relationships as they discuss the layers of spiritual compatibility in dating, marriage, and family life. Tune in for a vulnerable, compassionate exploration of spiritual intimacy, time management, and why true partnership requires trust, vulnerability, and honest communication Cocktail: Plum Concoction #3 Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

State, Faith & Genocide

2026/10/23

Benton and Elane tackle one of the most urgent, sensitive, and heavy topics of our time: the crisis, displacement, and violence in Israel, the West Bank, and Gaza. Navigating the essential distinction between affirming the Jewish people's right to exist and critiquing the military and governmental policies of a modern nation-state, the hosts explain why criticizing Netanyahu's government is not inherently anti-Semitic. Tune in for a courageous, faith-grounded conversation that challenges people of conscience—and followers of Jesus in particular—to reject apathy, stand up for the vulnerable, and speak out against violence. Cocktail: Plum Concoction #2 Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Why Voting Is So Bleeping Important

2026/10/15

In this revisiting of an episode from season 5, Benton and Elane tackle a high-stakes topic: why voting is a core moral imperative for people of faith. They dismantle the apathy of saying "my vote doesn't matter," and move past abstract patriotism and party loyalty to unpack how democracy directly impacts the most vulnerable among us—"the least of these." Cocktail: Vesper Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Spiritmaxxing

2026/10/08

Benton and Elane unpack the viral internet trend of Spiritmaxxing. Applying corporate productivity hacks, tech optimization, and biohacking mindsets to faith and meditation, Spiritmaxxing promises to squeeze every drop of efficiency out of our spiritual lives. But can spirituality actually be measured or optimized? Tune in to discover why true spiritual growth can't be fast-tracked, and why real faith is slow, intentional, attentive, and deeply connectional. Cocktail: The Sunstone Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Why Does The Church Care So Much About My Personal Life?

2026/10/01

Elane and Benton sip on a fruit-forward plum cocktail as they tackle a provocative question: Why does the church care so much about my personal life? From purity culture and drinking to who we sleep with and who we hang out with, the hosts unpack why church-averse folks push back against institutions being up in their business. Moving beyond the fear of judgment and shame, they contrast judgy institutional overreach with a genuine, trusting community of care. Tune in to explore why your spiritual, physical, and personal lives aren't separate compartments, and discover what happens when churches shift from imposing rigid authority to aiming for true human wholeness and mutual care. Cocktail: Plum Good Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Unbundled Faith

2026/09/24

Benton and Elane explore the growing trend of unbundled faith. Moving beyond rigid denominational perimeters, they discuss what happens when people gather spiritual ideas, worldviews, and practices from diverse traditions—from Southern Baptist and Episcopalian roots to Buddhist meditation and yoga. Using metaphors ranging from global cooking to buffets and bundles of sticks, they contrast the history of syncretism with the modern freedom of spiritual seeking. Tune in to explore the fine line between personal spiritual enrichment and superficial dilettantism, and discover why true unbundled faith requires depth, consistency, and a willingness to be internally tethered. Cocktail: Last Flight Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Modern Relics

2026/09/17

Benton and Elane explore a fascinating question: in our digital world, do we still have relics? Moving beyond simple sentimental heirlooms, Elane defines what makes an object a true relic—from saintly bones and the Shroud of Turin to Indiana Jones and a guitarist's worn Stratocaster—and asks whether physical items can still hold spiritual power or ancestral mojo. Tune in to discover why our difficulty with relics isn't just about technology, but reveals a deeper cultural problem: the absence of a sense of holiness. Cocktail: The Yellow Cactus Flower Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Theology As A Rough Draft

2026/09/10

Elane and Benton sip on a tequila and pomegranate cocktail while exploring the art of being a work in progress. Sparked by Benton's habit as a songwriter of keeping unfinished songs hidden until they are complete, the hosts contrast product versus process—asking why so many people feel compelled to present a finished, perfected version of themselves. They unpack the core theological shift between serving a rigid God of rules and living in relationship with a God who values humanity above perfection. Tune in to discover why vulnerability, thinking out loud, and embracing your status as a spiritual rough draft allows relationship to shape you over time into a masterpiece. Cocktail: The Lucky 13 Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Silence

2026/09/03

Benton and Elane sip on a rum cocktail while exploring the beautiful, sometimes terrifying, spiritual disciplines of silence and solitude. Moving past simple physical quietness, they unpack the constant low underlying hum of 21st-century devices and digital distractions that clutter our brains and drown out our deeper instincts. Elane opens up about her past battle with intense anxiety when forced to sit still, sharing how she had to intentionally train herself to be with her own thoughts. Tune in to discover why silence is a physical and spiritual practice that must be trained like a muscle, and learn practical steps to reclaim your inner stillness in a noisy world. Cocktail: The Quiet Word Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Money

2026/08/27

Benton and Elane sip on a Negroni riff as they candidly share how their respective upbringings, career transitions, and major life disruptions have shaped their relationships with money. Moving past the dry logistics of budgets and retirement planning, they delve into the psychological and spiritual grip of finance, arguing that fear—whether of losing what we have or never having enough—is what truly masters us. Tune in to explore how we can navigate the realities of modern capitalism through the lenses of trust, transparency, and a practice of giving. Cocktail: The Contessa Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

The Junk Drawer Of Theology

2026/08/20

Elane and Benton shake up a sweet-and-bitter gin cocktail called "The Junk Drawer" while unpacking a comforting truth: your theology doesn't have to be a perfectly curated museum case. Together, they explore how a lifetime of faith, doubt, and reconstruction leaves most of us with a spiritual "junk drawer" filled with mismatched beliefs, outgrown ideas, and unexpected tools we might need to reach back in and grab. From Benton's journey out of fundamentalism to Elane's reclamation of the Eucharist, they ask a provocative question: Can we actually trust people with pristine, unquestioned theologies? Grab a drink and join the conversation as they sort through what to throw in the trash (like substitutionary atonement) and what to hold onto for the journey. Cocktail: The Junk Drawer Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Wisdom

2026/08/13

Elane and Benton sip on a summery, slightly unbalanced riff on a gin tiki drink while tackling a profound question: does our modern society value wisdom? Moving past our culture's obsession with youth and the loud, dopamine-fueled clickbait of the public sphere, they unpack the crucial differences between mere life experience and true, ethically centered wisdom. From the biblical image of wisdom as a woman shouting in the streets to the quiet depth of one-on-one mentorship, they explore how we can actively curate our personal algorithms to seek out light instead of buffoonery, and they consider how we can claim our own hard-earned wisdom in an era that often idolizes nonsense. Cocktail: The Saturn Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

AI & Trump

2026/08/06

Benton and Elane sip on a complex, unnamed bourbon-and-chocolate dessert cocktail while unpacking a mind-bending thesis: generative AI is the perfect metaphor for our current political landscape. They explore how both consumer AI and political figures like Donald Trump build trust by reading our fears, amplifying our language, and locking us into narrow, unchallenging echo chambers. Hear Elane's passionate "rant" on why blind trust in any authority is dangerous, and how we can actively combat this cultural bubble by demanding that our systems (and our minds) engage with different perspectives. Cocktail: Elane's Nameless Dessert Cocktail Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Third Places

2026/07/30

Elane and Benton explore the disappearing concept of the "third place"—community hubs that are neither home nor work where people actually know your name—have been replaced by a culture of drive-thrus, smartphones, and a constant need to maximize our time. They unpack the historical and cultural shifts that have pushed us toward isolation, from front-facing garages to the invention of air conditioning, and discover why we might need to intentionally seek out hyper-local connections to rediscover our neighbors. Cocktail: Guinness & Bourbon Smash Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.

Comfort Food

2026/07/23

Benton and Elane sip on a cozy cocktail while exploring the deep emotional connections we have with comfort food. Swapping stories about childhood dinners, church potlucks, and specific cravings, they unpack how certain meals act as a time machine to our past and dive into the psychological difference between compulsively eating to fill an empty space and enjoying food for joyful nostalgia. Listen to discover what nachos, banana pudding, and sad songs have in common, and how sharing our favorite foods is one of the most powerful ways to build community and show love. Cocktail: The Wistful Walnut Theme song: "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you listen to music online.