Advertise on podcast: Welcome to Splitsville | Navigating Divorce in a Modern World

"Communication is key," says Dr. Tracy Masiello, but for high-conflict divorced parents, even simple messages about a tired child can escalate into legal battles. When that happens, parenting coordinators have the skills and court authority to resolve communication breakdowns. Dr. Masiello, founder of Reaching Resolution, specializes in court-involved therapy, family reunification work, and high-conflict family systems. She and host Sheila Passenant walk through what listeners should know about this unique tool in North Carolina family law. Sitting at the intersection of psychology and the law, a parenting coordinator is a neutral professional, backed by court statute, who guides parents on custody orders or other issues that arise related to children. As she explains, “the courts essentially give the parenting coordinator the authority, very similar authority that the court has, to make these decisions.” She clarifies that while many roles in family law involve neutral professionals – from lawyers to therapists to parenting coordinators – there are key differences. Unlike mediators, for example, parenting coordinators make binding decisions when parents reach an impasse. “The simplest way I could say it is that it's like the judge is giving the parenting coordinator kind of the authority to act very similarly as though they're the judge and make those decisions,” she says. Tune in for this in-depth examination of a parenting coordinator’s role, the appointment process, and real-world examples of the job in practice. Sheila describes a hypothetical scenario where parents argue about a custody exchange: “A parent coordinator may say, ‘Okay, where do you live? How long does it take you? Where do you work? When can you get there? I'm going to pick the exchange place.’” The conversation explores how parenting coordinators address everything from holiday schedule confusion to helping parents implement court orders effectively, with the ultimate goal of teaching parents skills so they no longer need intervention. “I love it when they don’t need me,” Dr. Masiello says. For more information on Dr. Masiello’s practice, visit www.reachingresolution.net or connect with her on LinkedIn. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact the team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

Divorce or separation can be challenging, especially when co-parenting with an ex becomes difficult—or even impossible. In this episode of Welcome to Splitsville, licensed professional counselor and parent coach Jenevieve Wardell joins host Leigh Sellers to explain how parent coaching can help a parent navigate high-conflict situations and ensure children thrive. Leigh and Jenevieve discuss the differences between therapy, co-parenting coaching, and individual parent coaching, sharing real-life examples of how parents can manage communication, set boundaries, and respond thoughtfully to challenges. They explore strategies for communicating with a co-parent (have a script!), advocating for children, and maintaining a child-centered approach even when conflict arises. Listeners will learn how parent coaching can reduce stress, improve communication, empower parents, and—most importantly—protect children from the emotional impact of parental conflict. For more information on Jenevieve Wardell and her practice, visit hopefamilycounselingandcoaching.com. You can also connect with Jenevieve on LinkedIn. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact the team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

Divorcing parents are rarely “alienated” from their children, but children of divorcing parents do frequently “resist or refuse” a parent. In the latter scenario, “it’s not that the other parent is intentionally and actively trying to undermine the relationship between a parent and child, but, instead, it's that something has happened to that child,” explains Dr. Tracy Masiello, a psychologist, licensed clinical mental health counselor supervisor, parenting coordinator, divorce coach, and divorce mediator. Visiting with host Sheila Passenant, Tracy breaks down the difference between so-called “resist/refuse” dynamics and parental alienation, describing the factors that can lead children to resist spending time with a parent—from developmental stages to unintentional negative cues and past conflict. She details the specialized approach of reunification therapy and why traditional family therapy techniques often backfire in high-conflict situations.  For more information on Dr. Tracy Masiello’s practice, visit www.reachingresolution.net. You can also connect with her on LinkedIn and learn more about her training programs at Resolution Academy. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact the team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

If you’re going through a divorce, one thing you can count on is a bill from your attorney. Hourly rates differ, but as Touchstone Family Law lawyer Brione Pattison explains, “each attorney is going to provide you with a bill at some point in time.” Brione and colleague Lea Finegan developed a “Top 10” list of best practices to help people save on attorney’s fees. Tune in as they break down critical strategies, from the heart (get a therapist) to the head (be organized!). The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact the team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

Sarah and John are fictional characters going through a divorce. As Lea Finegan explains, they could take two avenues: litigation or collaboration. In the litigation scenario, their case could drag on for years, personal details would become public record, legal fees mount, and a judge who doesn't know them would make a one-size-fits-all decision. But through the collaborative family law approach, Sarah and John would craft personalized solutions that preserve relationships, avoid traditional alimony while protecting Sarah's financial future, and maintain privacy. Lea describes how the collaborative option works. The parties sign a participation agreement that commits them to staying out of court, bring in financial neutrals and divorce coaches to address specific concerns, and focus on interests rather than positions. The result? Creative, outside-the-box solutions that courts would never consider, maintained privacy, lower costs, and a foundation for respectful co-parenting. How would Sarah and John’s story end? Here’s how Lea writes the closing chapter: With both of them attending their daughter's wedding—remarried, happy, and both sitting on the front row. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact the team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

Todd Owens often encounters family law clients who insist they simply want what they’re entitled to. His answer? "[In court] You're entitled to only one thing, and that's the opportunity to go in the courtroom, stomp your foot, pound your fist on the table, make your argument, and then cross your fingers and hope to God that the judge sees it exactly the same way you do." His guidance? “I need them to keep an open mind and understand that nothing is etched in stone.” His unique perspective to family law dispute resolution comes from his experience as a judge in Mecklenburg County, North Carolina, and now as a certified mediator and arbitrator. In this conversation with host Leigh Sellers, Todd draws on that background to explain the critical differences between litigation, arbitration, and mediation. He offers listeners an unvarnished view of the family court experience and cautions litigants not to assume that a judge will believe them “100 percent” – which is why he tells his clients that “what you think is not necessarily what the judge is going to think or what the judge is going to believe.” Tune in to learn why Todd advocates for mediation and why sending settlement offers back and forth often backfires.  For more information on Todd’s services, visit Dozier Miller Law Group or connect with him on LinkedIn. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact the team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

"There's always a lot of fear around a divorce situation. Everyone's always worried that the outcome's going to be something that is going to negatively impact them," says Kristen Shearin, a certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA).  In this conversation with host Sheila Passenant, Kristen describes how CDFAs can reduce that very fear throughout the divorce process. They do this by providing a range of financial projections and budgeting assistance.  As Kristen explains, divorces are rarely straightforward when it comes to what income actually exists. But a CDFA double-checks the numbers so all parties are comfortable saying at the start: “Okay, this is the income that we have to work with, and this is the actual income that we have to work with.” Kristen outlines the difference between supporting and dependent spouses and how CDFAs can verify income streams, especially when compensation plans are complex or irregular. And she shares her insights about when to engage a CDFA – whether before consulting an attorney or during the process – and how they can work as neutrals or advocates. While CDFAs prefer working outside of court through mediation and collaborative processes, Kristen says that they can testify at temporary hearings and trials when necessary.  For people who are facing a new life on a single income, CDFAs are a powerful resource. They can suggest financial options, such as keeping the family home or selling it. They can also guide divorcing spouses who haven't been involved in managing family finances so they understand their marital estate and make informed decisions about their financial future. For more information on Kristen and her CDFA practice, visit Shearin Law or connect with her on LinkedIn. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact Leigh Sellers and her team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

Divorcing couples often find themselves at a loss when trying to determine how to handle what is often their largest asset, the family home. Who stays in the home? What does the person who is leaving the home do for a substitute home? How do you finance these decisions? On this episode of Welcome to Splitsville, we have invited Senior Mortgage Consultant Rebecca Richardson to help answer some of those questions. With over 19 years of experience, Rebecca acts as a partner for divorcing couples as they navigate their options and develop strategies to move forward successfully with financing or refinancing a home. 3:06 Rebecca examines relevant mortgage information and guidelines divorcing couples should understand. How do shared debts, child support, and alimony factor into financing and refinancing? Because a divorcing person may be facing home-buying alone for the first time it can feel like a daunting task. Rebecca understands that a significant part of her job is to provide her clients with a sense of safety and comfort throughout the process. 4:06 She also reveals the answer to a frequently asked question, what to do if your name is associated with the debts of your partner. What debt are you legally on the hook for? For most debts, the first place to look is the agreements and contracts that formalized the debt relationship. 16:40 For more information on Rebecca Richardson and her practice, visit rebeccarichardsonmortgage.com. You can also connect with Rebecca on LinkedIn and Facebook and @The.Mortgage.Mentor on Instagram and TikTok. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact Leigh Sellers and her team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

A Guardian ad Litem (GAL) is a community volunteer appointed by the court to serve children by advocating for their best interests before the court. When appropriate, the court may appoint a Guardian ad Litem in a child custody action. If you’re currently involved in or about to enter a contested custody battle, divorce, or separation, this episode will help you understand the role of a GAL and what you can expect from the process. In this episode, Touchstone Family Law founder Leigh Sellers speaks with Hollie Bennett of Palmetto Guardian and Adoption Services about her work as a guardian ad litem. They examine what the position of a guardian ad litem entails and their various responsibilities related to child custody cases. In general, the guardian ad litem is assigned by the court when the judge feels that he can’t be fully informed about the case at hand. They are advocates for the children, conducting a fair, balanced, and impartial investigation by collecting information through interviews, home visits, and other means. 01:52 Hollie also debunks a few misconceptions about guardian ad litem. GAL are not tools to be used by either of the parties involved in divorce and do not represent one side or the other. 03:42 GAL are not there to care for the children, nor do they possess the same decision-making powers as the court. 18:12 While GAL are encouraged to make informed suggestions, the significant decisions lie with the judge and the parents. 19:40 Leigh and Hollie also discuss what types of information guardian ad litem collect and the various qualifications required. 8:15 Attending training sessions and developing connections within the community are other requirements for those interested in becoming a GAL. 29:04 Hollie also reveals the disadvantages of litigation and how this adversarial process has the potential to inflict additional immediate and long-term damage upon the children. As the guardian ad litem, it is incumbent upon them to encourage parents to work together to find alternative methods of resolving their disputes and explore options like collaborative mediation. For more information on guardian ad litem, adoption, and the collaborative process, you can visit www.palmettosocialwork.com. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact Leigh Sellers and her team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

The world has been facing a public health crisis that has caused significant economic changes and uncertainty. In the first two quarters of the year, families that are both intact and separated are facing increasing financial problems and struggles. More so for the latter, if one parent is obligated by the court to pay child support. But, with the ongoing pandemic, are there laws in place that allow for modification of child support? Touchstone Family Law founder Leigh Sellers explores the process for applying to have child support recalculated and modified, with an emphasis on the adverse effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. Leigh discusses the five areas that impact the decision, including significant changes in income sources, cost, and availability of health insurance and childcare. 3:08 If you want the modification, you need to ask, so it is imperative that you speak with your attorney and ex-spouse as soon as possible. 7:33 Leigh also describes how the process for requesting changes will be different if you have a court order versus an agreement or contract with the other parent. In the latter case, the court will be focused more on a child’s needs rather than changes in circumstances, so modifying such agreements may be more challenging. 09:36 And because of COVID-19, courts not only have an increasing backlog of cases, they are not attending to non-emergency matters at this point. With that in mind, it may be beneficial to explore other options that can avoid a lengthy legal process. 11:21 Alternative dispute resolutions including mediation, arbitration, and a collaborative approach are becoming exponentially more popular in light of the pandemic to develop short and long-term solutions. 13:18 Ultimately, it’s important that you seek legal counsel if and when you feel it has become necessary to modify the terms of your child support order or agreement. As you consider your options, you can get prepared by gathering necessary documents, figures, and other required information for your case. 14:37 The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact Leigh Sellers and her team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

One of the more prominent narratives surrounding separation and divorce involves ex-spouses being at each other’s throats and constantly arguing with one another. Such a hostile environment not only affects the former couple but negatively impacts their children as well. While separation and divorce are difficult for everyone involved, a happy co-parenting ending with your ex is a very real possibility.   Touchstone Family Law founder Leigh Sellers speaks with Freddie Sexton and Jen Olin about their personal journey through separation, divorce, and effectively co-parenting despite living separate lives. Freddie is a Dad, artist, cyclist, and entrepreneur. Jen is an energetic mother, daughter, and friend who has worked in the senior living industry for 16 years. Jen and Freddie emphasize the importance of having open and honest communication with your ex from the very beginning. Creating a safe space to air your concerns and other family-related matters is key to a successful co-parenting relationship. 02:42 When it comes to making any decision in your life, always ask yourself how it’s going to affect the children and their welfare. 04:35 Set expectations and intentions from day one and do your best to organize your life to honor these expectations. 09:59 Jen and Freddie also dive into the benefits of occasionally meeting face-to-face, as sometimes texts or emails simply won’t do. 16:18 Communicating with each other frequently is key, even if it may be difficult or uncomfortable at first. It’s also vital that you be supportive of your ex, especially when they’re struggling. Remember, they’re always going to be the parent of your children, so demonstrating more sympathy and understanding not only helps your ex, in the long run, it helps you and your children as well. 28:08 Freddie and Jen share the difficulties and struggles they went through and how they were able to overcome those issues and move forward. 22:16 They each share tips that have helped them personally, including finding support groups and being mindful of their physical and mental health. Couples choose to divorce for any number of reasons, but, at the end of the day, it’s important that you demonstrate to your children that their parents will always love and care for them first, even after their marital relationship dissolves. 40:05 The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact Leigh Sellers and her team at http://www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

The outcome of divorce and custody cases isn’t just dependent on your attorney or the judge. Believe it or not, your attitude and decisions during the whole process are going to affect how it all works out in the end. You have a lot of control over your own success, 01:45 and the divorce attorney is there to guide you along the way in terms of the legal implications and ramifications of your situation. Leigh Sellers dives into five things that you can do to screw up your divorce case and have things end up against your favor. Lying to your attorney 02:38 and then denying it once you get caught – because your legal team will find out eventually – 04:37 are some of the actions that aren’t going to sit well during the proceedings. Additionally, being unresponsive and not participative is going to make it hard for your attorney to advocate for you in the hearings. So, you have to show up and take the initiative. Being a vindictive spouse or parent who does not care for the welfare of the child/children involved 10:41 and trying to manipulate the financial situation 15:08 is not going to help you give the outcome that you want in the proceedings. Trying to get around the law is only going to make things worse. The key to making the best out of an unfavorable situation, such as a divorce case, is to put your complete trust in the judicial system, your legal team, and the judge handling your case. That means being completely honest and upfront with any facts that your attorney needs and listening to their legal advice. Attorneys, in particular, are skilled enough to try and make a winning outcome for their clients, so you should trust that they know what they’re doing. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact Leigh Sellers and her team at http://www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

Child custody cases are often the toughest types of cases that go through family court. Far too often, those cases involve parents with alcohol and substance abuse issues. Some states, including North Carolina, allow for alcohol monitoring systems in child custody cases. In this episode, we talk with Chris Beck of Soberlink, a modern tool that helps parents struggling with alcohol abuse stay involved in their children's lives. By using three key technologies to identify, test, and communicate in real-time with all concerned parties, Soberlink. allows parents to prove their sobriety and provides accountability. 5:23 The accuracy and reliability of the Soberlink device meets and exceeds medical and legal standards. 9:00 Chris explores the costs associated with using Soberlink and the extensive training process afforded to clients. 21:09 In cases of substance abuse, accuracy matters. So, Soberlink has designed its devices for real-world errors and false-positive tests from ingesting commonplace food and personal care products. 24:57 While Soberlink developed its product and guidelines in concert with the needs of the legal community, not all Soberlink clients are under court order to do so. Chris reveals the experience for clients using the company’s device to earn back trust or provide voluntary accountability. 29:09 To find out more about Soberlink and how it can help in family law cases and provide accountability, go to their website soberlink.com. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact Leigh Sellers and her team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

Child custody cases are often the toughest types of cases in family court. Frequently, lawyers must call upon experts outside the legal field for assistance. In this episode of Welcome to Splitsville, we explore what a custody evaluation is, who is involved, and how it can affect your child custody case. Today’s conversation is with Sean Knuth, a licensed psychologist in North Carolina who specializes in forensic psychology. Sean works with the Mecklenburg County Forensic Evaluation Unit as the Director of Training and runs a therapy practice dealing with child custody and litigation related cases. First, Sean talks to listeners about the role of psychologists in both voluntary and court-ordered evaluations. 2:27 Sean then discusses the most commonly used evaluations in child custody cases and the differences between them. 10:19 When a custody evaluation is done, many parties can be involved. Sean then identifies the different parties involved and their respective roles in the evaluation process. 15:26 Because courts can order evaluations on many different issues, Sean discusses the types of issues typically addressed in court-ordered evaluations. 18:40 Sean then examines the role of attorneys in the evaluation process and how unrepresented parties participate in the process. 27:14 Next, Sean explores the nuts and bolts of a typical evaluation for litigants. 31:12 Finally, Sean advises unrepresented parties on how best to produce the relevant information to ensure they are fully heard during the evaluation process. 36:30 Sean wraps up the episode by addressing court costs associated with a child custody evaluation. 40:19 For more information about Sean’s practice or to connect with him, visit his website at sbkphd.com. The Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFFC) provides helpful resources for both litigants and professionals. Visit their resource center for helpful guides on evaluations in family court. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact Leigh Sellers and her team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com

On this episode of Welcome to Splitsville, we explore what a divorce coach does and explore how utilizing a coach can help you navigate your divorce. Today's conversation is with Sandra Lee, a divorce coach in Charlotte, NC, with more than 20 years of experience. First, we hear Sandra explore the differences between divorce coaching and therapy. 4:15 Then she discusses the role of a divorce coach in the divorce process. 9:02 Because divorce can be an intensely emotional process for everyone involved, Sandra shares several intimate and relatable stories of coaching couples through the emotional turbulence of divorce. 14:18 Sandra then talks about the benefits of a divorce coach in collaborative cases to guide the divorce process. 20:00 Sandra examines the role of a divorce coach in identifying the needs and desires of the parties and works to ensure minor concerns do not derail the process. 27:07 Sandra then addresses the financial rationale for using a divorce coach, and how a coach can often save money over the life of the case. 31:43 Sandra wraps up this episode discussing how a divorce coach can provide clients with a thinking partner during the divorce process and help them maintain strong, healthy relationships with family and friends. 35:13 For more information on Sandra Lee and her divorce coach practice, Emerge Victorious, you can visit her website at www.EmergeVictorious.com or email her at [email protected]. Sandra is also a member of the Charlotte Collaborative Divorce Group, and more information on the group can be found on their website www.charlottecollaborativedivorce.org. The insights and views presented in “Welcome to Splitsville” are for general information purposes only and should not be taken as legal advice for any individual case or situation. Nor does tuning in to this podcast constitute an attorney-client relationship of any kind. If you’re ready for compassionate and reliable legal guidance on your journey through divorce, contact Leigh Sellers and her team at www.TouchstoneFamilyLaw.com