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Have you ever questioned your role in this dance of love, or observed your partner sending mixed signals? In this episode, we will delve into the intriguing dynamic of the "runner-chaser" phenomenon that many individuals find themselves in. The chaser typically takes on the role of initiator, pushing for the relationship and yearning for love and acknowledgment, while the runner adopts a more distant, commitment-phobic stance, alternating between hot and cold behaviors, often sending mixed signals. Our goal is to explore both perspectives, understanding how past experiences might contribute to these patterns of behavior. Key Takeaways: Know Your Attachment Style: Unearth the origins of your behavior by understanding attachment styles like anxious and insecure, rooted in childhood. Explore how these attachment styles shape your role as either a chaser or a runner in relationships. Pay Attention to Defense Mechanisms: Spot the signs of defense mechanisms, including deflecting, constant blaming, or hot-and-cold behavior. Decode these red flags to gain insights into whether your partner is currently in a chaser or runner phase, fostering a healthier connection. Healthy Doesn't Mean Perfect: Embrace the dance of a balanced relationship, where both partners take turns chasing and running. Acknowledge that imperfections are a natural part of the journey and commit to working through ups and downs for a resilient and lasting connection. Guest Bio- Erika Chavez Pena M.ED., LPC Erika Chavez Pena dedicated 21 years to the public education system, serving as a teacher for the deaf and hard of hearing and as a high school counselor. Transitioning to the role of a Licensed Professional Counselor, she has been actively engaged in the counseling profession for the past 6 years. During her early career as an educator, Erika cultivated a passion for public speaking, delivering presentations for students, parents, and community members. More recently, she expanded her expertise by providing training for Neely Counseling Center's Employee Assistance Program. Her presentations focus on the psychological and emotional well-being of individuals, emphasizing the importance of balancing emotional, cognitive, social, and physical aspects. Currently, Erika provides counseling services to adolescents, adults, and couples at Neely Counseling Center. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show Need Counseling neelycounseling.com Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/usInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/drkirleen/?hl=en Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people, just like improving their mental health and living a better story today. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast.

🎙️ Ready to Crush Success Blocks? Join us in the latest episode of "Crushing Success Blocks" on the Drop the BS podcast, where we unpack strategies to overcome emotional hurdles and pave the way for triumph. From challenging emotional avoidance to detoxing catastrophizing, discover how to master your mindset for success. Key Takeaways: Emotional Intelligence Unleashed: Challenge emotional avoidance by asking yourself, "PQ – What am I feeling?"Name and acknowledge emotions like worry, anxiety, fear, uncertainty, and doubt.Foster emotional awareness and resilience for personal growth.Catastrophizing Detox: Combat catastrophizing by seeking a balanced perspective.Shift from jumping to conclusions to asking, "What is a more balanced way to look at this situation?"Break the habit of letting worst-case scenarios dominate your thoughts.Opinions: Yours vs. Others: Examine whose opinion carries more weight – yours or others.Break the cycle of constant self-comparison, leading to feelings of inadequacy.Embrace your accomplishments without undermining them in comparison to others.Listener Challenge:Challenge yourself this week to implement one strategy discussed in the episode to overcome emotional hurdles. Share your experiences using #CrushingSuccessBlocks. Episode at a Glance [2:16] A real story from the couch about breaking through success blocks [14:00] Couch Time Takeaway's Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people, just like improving their mental health and living a better story today. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show Need Counseling? Try Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/usInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/drkirleen/?hl=en

Welcome to season six on Drop the BS podcast, where we dive deep into the delicate threads of family dynamics. In today's episode, we unravel the powerful narrative of forgiveness and healing, especially when family wounds cast a shadow over the joyous holiday season. Here's the episode at a glance: [2:35] Stroy from the Couch [08:16] On the Couch Takeaway 🎄 Episode Highlights: Case Study: A Holiday Dilemma We explore a poignant case where a wife grappled with the decision to visit her mother-in-law, given years of rudeness and disrespect. Join us as we delve into the complexities of this emotional journey.Resolving Family Tensions Discover how our featured couple navigated through their challenges, ultimately finding a path to resolution. Real and relatable, their story serves as a guiding light for those facing similar family struggles during the holidays.Counselor's Couch Takeaways Drawing from professional insights, we share actionable tips on how listeners can initiate healing conversations and work towards forgiveness. From setting boundaries to fostering open communication, these takeaways aim to empower you on your own journey.🌈 Key Takeaways: Setting Boundaries: Learn the art of setting healthy boundaries to protect your emotional well-being.Open Communication: Explore the importance of transparent and empathetic communication, especially in the context of family dynamics.Forgiveness: Understand the transformative power of forgiveness and how it can pave the way for healing, even in the most challenging family relationships.Similar Episodes: 88: The First Holiday After a Loss Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show: Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.com Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Drop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Breaking up with a best friend can feel just as painful as splitting up with your partner. And while everyone acknowledges the trauma of romantic breakups, people don’t really talk about the fallout of a platonic separation. But the truth is a breakup is a breakup. When you share intimacy, and trust, in a friendship making the decision to dissolve the relationship can be very difficult. So on today show I’ve brought on one of my besties Frank Baly to dish on this topic we’ve both had our ups and downs in friendship and I hope our perspectives helps you navigate the choppy water of breaking up with a bestie. Similar Episodes: 87: Feeling Unheard and Unseen in Relationships? Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show Frank Baly www.frankabaly.com Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.com Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Drop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

In Episode 99, Pt. 2, we continue to unravel the Love Language Paradox: I dive into the dos and don'ts of how to effectively use love languages. You will leave this episode ready to love and live from a new perspective. Similar Episodes 79: Should You Consider Couples Counseling? w/Dr. Kimberly VanBuren 57: Heal Relationship Disconnects w/Third Layer Conversations Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show Love Language Test: https://5lovelanguages.com/ Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.com Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Drop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Odds are, you've heard of the five love five languages by now, and you may even have proclaimed out loud that your love language is physical touch, quality time, or one of the five. But in my work as a therapist, I find that people are missing the real magic behind what makes love languages a powerful concept and maybe misunderstand the original intent. Three decades ago, Gary Chapman, a 50-year-old Southern Baptist pastor with a doctorate in adult education, introduced the concept to the world with his seminal book, "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts." In our two-part series, we are going to break down how to effectively utilize the five love languages to give and receive the love you deserve. Similar Episodes 79: Should You Consider Couples Counseling? w/Dr. Kimberly VanBuren 57: Heal Relationship Disconnects w/Third Layer Conversations Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show Love Language Test: https://5lovelanguages.com/ Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.com Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Drop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

If you know me, then you know that I am seriously a big fan of therapy. I might be a little biased as a therapist, but the truth is I am a big fan because I have seen firsthand the ability therapy has to transform lives. I have seen marriages saved, depression lifted, and teens get back on track with their life. However, I do understand that there may be a period in time when going to therapy is just not possible. Whether it is because of finances, time, or maybe you simply aren’t ready. So, on today’s show, I am going to share some simple self-help tools you can use in between therapy sessions. Here's a glance at this episode: [3:35] Disclaimer [4:16] Tip #1: Journaling [7:56] Prompt examples [17:30] Tip #2: Work on disrupting your thoughts. [19:10] Put your thoughts on trial. [25:33] Toolbox Takeaway Similar Episodes: Episode 55: Dump the Inner Critic Episode Episode 51: Are you considering therapy? Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.com Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Drop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

It's challenging to help a loved one struggling with any type of addiction. Sometimes direct, heart-to-heart conversation can lead to arguments, lies, and denial. Family and friends are often unsure of whether what they are dealing with is really an addiction or just misuse. The bottom line is seeing someone you love spiral into what you think is addiction is scary and can have emotional and psychological ramifications for everyone. In Episode 96, to help me explore this topic I’ve brough in Aaron Ballesteros, Licensed Professional Counselor. He has a passion for substance abuse work and shares some nuggets of wisdom on this episode. Substance abuse and substance misuse are often thought to be the same, but they have different meanings. Someone who delas with substance abuse means that they are intentionally using the drug in an unhealthy and illegal way. Whereas substance misuse is using or taking medicine in a way it was not intended to do so. According to the National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics (NCDAS), 21.4% of people who are 12 and over have used illegal drugs or misused prescription drugs within the last year. However, it was also discovered that the drug use among people aged 12 and over is down 0.4% year-over-year. Similar Episodes: Episode 83: Should You Use Medication to Manage Your Mental Health? w/ Dr. Kim Episode 77: Stress Management 101 Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show Aaron Ballesteros https://www.instagram.com/counseloraaron/?hl=en Aaron Ballesterso https://www.tiktok.com/@counseloraaron?lang=en Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.com Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Drop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

It is never easy when someone you know personally puts a label on you, like saying, “you’re so controlling.” Initially, you might think this person is just hating on you, but if you hear this from multiple people, you may begin to wonder if there is any truth to what they are saying. Controlling behaviors can be incredibly detrimental to any relationship and may have deep emotional roots. In many instances, you may not realize that your actions come across as controlling. So, on today’s show, we will explore red flags that you may be a control freak and identify strategies to help you move through life with more ease and less control. Many times, being a control freak can create other issues within yourself, like increased anxiety or even severe self-criticism. It is important to be self-aware and recognize the signs before it is too late and you have damaged your relationship with others. Here's a glance at this episode: [2:50] Level Set: Are you controlling? [5:20] What are the subtle ways you may be a control freak? [17:28] Understanding why you are controlling [21:30] What you can do about it? [35:21] Toolbox Takeaway Similar Episodes: Episode 94: Hurt People Hurt People: How to Handle Passive Aggressive Individuals Episode 91: Healing Childhood Trauma As An Adult w/ Maira Holzmann Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.com Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Drop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

Do you have someone in your life that it's hard to have a simple conversation about what you feel or over a concern you may be having? Every time you try to explain what you feel, they take it the wrong way, won't accept responsibility for their actions, or just plain act out. When this happens, you may find yourself caught in the web of their dysfunctional communication style. Before you know it, you're upset, yelling, screaming, and wondering how in the heck did you get here. In many cases, these individuals are acting out of pain and trauma, and like the old saying goes, “hurt people, hurt people". When someone has experienced trauma or emotional pain, it can affect how they perceive and interact with the world around them and lead them to use defense mechanisms. A defense mechanism is an unconscious strategy that people use to protect themselves from anxious thoughts or feelings. On today's show, we're going to look at several common defense mechanisms that hurt people use. My hope is that getting the inside scoop on these behaviors will help you avoid the web of dysfunction and be able to approach difficult conversations with empathy and understanding. Here's a glance at this episode: [4:38 ] What is a defense mechanism? [6:28 ] Top 3 Defense Mechanisms [15:55] Toolbox Takeaway Similar Episodes:Episode 53: Emotional Baggage Drop OffEpisode 80: Using Emotional Intelligence to Resolve Conflict and Keep YourCool w/ Doug Noll Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts:Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support morepeople -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better todaystory. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Writea Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about theepisode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show: Neely Counseling www.neelycounseling.com Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Drop The BS Facebook Group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

It has become commonplace for people to use mental health conditions as dramatic labels for aspects of everyday life. Expressions like, "OMG, she's so bipolar" and "I'm so OCD right now" have become a part of everyday conversations. While most people are just trying to describe what they feel at any given moment, this language may minimize the seriousness of these conditions, create confusion, and leave people who truly struggle feeling unseen. As mental health has taken center stage in recent years, it's time to truly put some thought into the way we talk about our mental health. So, on today's show, I've invited board-certified psychiatrist Dr. James Fuqua to dive into the truth about Bipolar Disorder, its signs, and treatment options available. Here's a glance at this episode: [4:24] What Is Bipolar Disorder? [12:19] What Are The Causes? [19:41] Toolbox Takeaway Similar Episodes: Episode 28: Do You Have Trouble Focusing? You Could Have Adult ADHD Episode 31: Winning With the Cards You've Been Dealt Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show: Dr. James Fuqua's www.ventanamentalhealth.com Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/

There are certain seasons in life where it may feel like there is no solution to your problem. You've used every trick in the book, but the relationship, situation, or circumstance just isn't changing. Maybe you've been caring for a sick family member, or you are stuck in a dead relationship. You've cried, talked, prayed about it, and then talked about it again. These situations can leave us feeling overwhelmed, bitter, numb, and even exhausted despite getting a good night's sleep. On today's show, I'd like you to join me as I create space for us to discuss these complicated emotions and look for viable solutions to move throughthem. Here's a glance at this episode: [5:20] How Do We Move Through This Feeling? [11:51] Grow, Keep, and Throw [21:20] Toolbox Takeaway Similar Episodes: Episode 69: What Lesson Is Life Trying To Teach You? Episode 73: Have You Been Easily Irritated Lately? Rate, Review, & Follow-on Apple Podcasts: Please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me support more people -- just like to improve their mental health and live a better today story. Scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode! Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. Resources/Things Mentioned During The Show: Neely Counseling Center Drop The BS Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dropthebspodcast/