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This podcast is now 100% dedicated to the bizarre attempts of washed-up reality stars to become relevant again. Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we discuss a very real, very large problem. It is our responsibility as men to use our platform to support, educate and protect. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a show... about nothing! Just two guys talking about nothing! (Due to some real sad life events, we weren't able to record a new episode this week. So, please enjoy a preview of one of our Patreon episodes.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do women even know how emasculating it is when they feel safe around us?! Topics include the male urge to be feared, chubby (complimentary), re-inventing dating in the worst way, clearing up mixed signals by sending even mixier signals. Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We work on and introduce a lot of really cool, new characters in this episode, so be ready for that. Topics include errand dates, call spamming, the worst investment opportunity, terrified over Tuppaware. Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I understand that some things need to be handled discretely, but there are also some things that shouldn't be dumped in a lake. Topics include how to safely discard your sex doll, a sisterly interrogation, the price is a lie, mysterious downstairs hand gesture, hand job to bro job. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I know we've gotten some complaints about Melvin before, but you really can't deny our chemistry with him. Topics include utilizing the Spider-Man note tactic, Zoloft ultimatum, pick up artists almost discover friendship, covering or embracing your past. Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If anybody needs me, I'll be hanging out with my other God buddies today, so please don't try to reach me via anything other than astral projection. Topics include the WNBA, being groomed by a spiritual man, too tired to text, hard out here for a wannabe pimp, the magic is gone. Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's not hard, guys. Just be normal. Just don't do anything weird. Topics include bringing your own ball, letting people know you're ready to date, break up regret, too intense or just scared of attention. Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You idiots are hitting the gym, developing a personality, and trying new hobbies. I'm getting taken over by an evil alien slime. We are NOT the same. Topics include the reality of symbiote infection, how to stop being so good, lying about how you met, and are they an ex or a friend? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I don't think we deserve a lot of credit for the stuff that we say on this show, however, the amount of butt puns accidentally stumble into this week is something we should celebrate. Topics include Spidey SEO, the two attempt rule, disrespectful slow fade, the blood vase, a suspicious medical note. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're going to take all of the idioms and make them incorrect and there's nothing you can do about it. Topics include do women care about lots of Instagram followers, checking off the boxes on being dateable, what does spitting on your partner mean, uninteresting and unattractive hobbies. Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CHOO CHOO! All aboard the smooch train! Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what the Smooch Train is, but I wrote it down in my notebook of episode titles, so... ALL ABOARD! Topics include would you eat your female coworkers spoonful of food, "uncommon" standards, Schrödinger's boyfriend, and what happens on a first date. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The emotional rollercoaster is a real emotional rollercoaster. Topics include John Cena's check in lessons, my boyfriend's AI clone, unrequited crushes, let's just be friends (after sex), first date expectations. Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I know it's hard to believe, but prior to this episode... we weren't perfect. But we have shed our flawed mortal forms and stand before as shimmering beams of pure light. Topics include a Minion disclaimer, boobs: what do they mean, doing the work, the futility of being a short king, and a new Hinge feature. Support the show on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.