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Phone service was down, stay away from minors, numbing spray works wonders and we’re full of worms. Girl Scouts are cancelled, celebrities are gross and be careful with plumping lip gloss! For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Happy Valentine’s Day, don’t eat bees, tweakers are so horny and drugs aren’t safe to experiment with anymore. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

We had a little technical difficulty in the beginning but here we are. Testing new lighting, football fans are insane, perimenopause is upon us and being alone is pleasant. We love an ice cream sandwich family, Crystal might need to upgrade her cigs, 9-11 is still on speed dial and dress for the partner you want.  For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Crystal had Covid, let’s read books, the rain won’t stop and getting old is not a good time. Prepare your kids for adulthood, women are pervs too, don’t ask people their body count and always be aware of your surroundings. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Peez has new pets, resellers are still annoying, physical reactions to genocide are normal and Rick Owens is a good brand to support. Could your dad be a serial killer, the universe gave us each other, be careful at the hospital and decorate your house however makes you happy. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories: Info@hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Riding with Crystal is an adventure, Peez has been cussing a LOT, Pata Fria is having a really bad week and we’re all ingesting plastic. Do you ever plan for prison in your head, Crystal has a great new client, no that’s not a stuffed animal and a period ain’t stopping nothing but a sentence. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

We love a good garage sale but hate reseller price gouging. Crystal met an animal that doesn’t love her for once. Don’t raise your kids to be mean girls and don’t spend your money with terrible companies. CEASEFIRE NOW, END THE OCCUPATION, FREE PALESTINE. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com 

Xmas is still going, we love a man’s man, women need to carry guns and we would actually be really bad cops. Pata Fria might start taking tattoo appts, our government is the worst of the worst, Crystal isn’t great at remembering names and just don’t eat Carolyn’s cooking. FREE PALESTINE, CEASEFIRE NOW, END THE OCCUPATION.  Check out this week’s sponsor!  BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

The hangout was a success, making your partner a mixtape is true love, Crystal got to share some holiday spirit and Santa has been commodified. Bingo gets SERIOUS, practice proper pharmacy etiquette, Peez is loving cuss words and Pata Fria has been having some terrible dreams. Check out this week’s sponsor!  BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

We’re back after a month.  The flu is not playing fair, Crystal is hit with tragedy once again and losing Carl was a loss for so many.  Who’s doing the hiring at Richmond Kaiser, Crystal is enjoying a new meat, Charlene had a favorite roadside hustler and don’t support soft white underbelly.  For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

Crystal has on cute socks and Pata Fria is losing her voice. Migraines can ruin your life, toddlers are insane, coffee and books have been the vibe this week and boycotting works. Oil pulling has begun, men are not ok, Hollywood is full of pedos and abusers and this week we got some great write ins.  For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

Pata Fria’s whole house is sick, wear your shoes while you can because they crumble, beware of the Bernie’s and please keep spreading the truth about this genocide. Client flashbacks are fun, Crystal has been making more friends, the older you get the less clingy you are and exposure therapy really works.  Check out this week’s sponsor!  BetterHelp Professional therapy from the comfort of your own home. Right now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO For bonus episodes join our Patreon!! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com