Advertise on podcast: Crafting Solutions to Conflict

Why quit while you are behind? Because if you continue the fight, you may dig a deeper hole for yourself. Possibilities for a small loss can become a bigger one when those with the upper hand become angry or frustrated. Because you may say or do things that brand you a sore loser. Because the sting of the experience can become greater for the other person without lessening your own pain. And if you will be in a continuing relationship, consider what you can learn from this loss. There can be similar disagreements down the road. Can they be resolved more easily, more quickly, or less painfully down the road? If the relationship is important to you, preserve as much of it as you can. And avoid creating unnecessary lasting damage. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  

It’s not always easy to quit while you are ahead. But, when ongoing relationships matter, it’s worth the effort. How to do it? First, keep a laser focus on the prize. Not the peripheral issues. Let them go. Next, think ahead of time how the “win” might roll out. Consider, individually and within a faction, how to respond – including by saying nothing. Adopt a long view.  Try to accept a win graciously. Allow everyone to move on. When emotions are high, keep words and actions in check, and allow some healing to begin.  Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/    

Sherri Noxel joins me today to talk about the challenges of family farms. These family businesses encounter the familiar ones – including the role of nonfamily employees, succession planning, and addressing legacy issues. They also face circumstances not commonly found in other industries, most importantly, their special connection to the land where they work and, frequently, also live. You can learn more about Sherri and her work here:  https://www.enterprisinggenerations.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/       

We can have very different views about  charitable giving and that can lead to conflict. Magic, easy answers will be elusive. But a few reminders can help. Know your own priorities and values and be true to them.       First, don’t be the passionate supporter who becomes the pushy one. If you are on the receiving end of the pushiness, you can decline politely – and completely. Or you can choose to give a more modest amount; in some situations –especially alumni giving – the percentage of eligible donors who contribute is important.       If the cause is one you don’t want to support at all because you just aren’t onboard, you can keep the lines of communication open. Perhaps you will learn more about the issue or group and reconsider.       If you find the cause to be in conflict with your values, you can choose to state that. You can choose simply not engage. Or you can think about other options.  Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/        

Fundamentally, it’s best to avoid a conflict.  We are not required to form judgments about other people’s spending. We can let that go and focus on other things. And if we do form judgments, we can keep them to ourselves. Both because we don’t know everything and because it’s not our job to judge.  Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/    

We can have attitudes about other people’s income sources.  And we can consider if and how we share our thoughts. Going back to my most recent guest, Natalie WagnerWillis: we need to be clear on our own priorities and values. How they apply to us internally, and how they connect us to others. Just labelling the other perspectives as wrong is unhelpful. Better to have both a clear understanding of one’s one perspective and an openness to learning about the perspectives of others. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/      

Natalie WagnerWillis is my guest.  Natalie is a certified money coach and Finologist. Her father, Dick Wagner, was the original Finologist. Natalie shares her origin story and how she has developed and refined her own understanding of how we can better understand our internal relationship with money andour connection with the rest of the world through the exchange of money.  You can learn more about Natalie’s work, try a money type quiz, and more at her website: https://vitalfinancials.com/ .  You can find Natalie on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/natalie-wagnerwillis-bb31502b/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/    

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals offers this definition: “Collaborative Practice is a voluntary dispute resolution process in which parties settle without resort to litigation.”  “Each party must be represented by a lawyer whose representation terminates upon the undertaking of any contested court proceeding.” https://www.collaborativepractice.com/ On the face of it, this sounds a lot like mediation. How is it different? Most important, mediation involves an impartial third party, a mediator. Attorneys may or may not be present. In Collaborative Practice, there is no mediator. And attorneys are always present. In fact, the key point is that everyone agrees at the beginning that each party will have a lawyer whose representation will end if anyone starts an adversarial court case. Mediations do not have that provision. Although Collaborative Practice is most known in divorce proceedings, it can be used in other areas. Siblings may be at odds over estate settlement questions.  Courts will focus on legal issues. Yet the emotional piece is important, too.  Other fields where emotions can run high and jeopardize sound decision-making can also benefit from Collaborative Practice.  Serious workplace disputes and business ownership issues, in particular, are candidates. Collaborative Practice is an additional tool to help resolve disputes. It doesn’t replace mediation, conflict coaching, arbitration, or litigation. It is an option.  Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/        

From the website of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals: “Collaborative Practice is a voluntary dispute resolution process in which parties settle without resort to litigation.”  The key point:  “Each party must be represented by a lawyer whose representation terminates upon the undertaking of any contested court proceeding.” That written agreement is essential. https://www.collaborativepractice.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/      

Peter Johnson joins me today. We talk about his book, The Little Book of Family Treasure: Building Family Connection, Well-Being, and Legacy. And Peter explains how collaborative practice, more commonly known in the field of divorce, brings great value to the area of trusts and estates.  You can learn more about Peter’s work here: https://pwjohnson.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  

Problems start when we make false assumptions about entire generations, entire cohorts, and the individuals we meet who fall into one of them. So, what to do about it? First, recognize what we are doing. Next, take a moment to consider why people in that generation or cohort might tend to have the viewpoints they do.  Consider how you can take into account this different perspective.   Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/    

We hear plenty of stereotypes about generations. In cohort theory, the emphasis is not on rigid boundaries set by birth years, but on shared experiences. Generations and cohorts themselves don’t necessarily get us into trouble. False assumptions do. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/  

David Russell joins me today. We talk about his book, Bridging the Generational Divide: Generational Perspectives on Money. David says that his book is intended as a guide for advisors who are navigating family wealth, values, and conversations across generations.         I say that it has valuable insights for anyone interested in these challenges. Advisors who are not financial advisors, family members, and others.        One of my favorite takeaways is the idea that our perspective is shaped not only by our age in years, but also by life events and world events.         You can reach David at his website: https://wealthandhonor.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/        

The direct ones are, well, direct. They are easy to see. Who wouldn’t be offended?  Indirect triggers are trickier.  If I know the other person well, I may have a good guess at their indirect triggers. I can try not to create problems. I can consider those indirect triggers when I speak or don’t – or act or don’t. If I don’t know the other person well, and I inadvertently hit an indirect trigger, I may know immediately, or not so soon. I could just assume that the other person is overreacting for no reason. That assumption doesn’t help either of us.  Instead, we can take a breath, consider the possibility that I have unintentionally hit a nerve and give a little grace. Better for both of us.     Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/    

Dr. Mitch Abrams joins me to talk about his book, I’m Not F*cking Angry!: adjust the flame to get what you want and need.  We discuss the distinction between anger and aggression, and our perceptions of aggression vs. assertiveness.  Plus, some helpful insights about apologies: as the person offering one and as the person on the receiving end.  You can learn more about his work and contact him through his website: https://drmitchabrams.com/ Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/. Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/