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#403: Did your parents actually want to know you? Not just how you were doing at school or whether you were behaving, but what you thought, felt, loved, and wondered about? This week, I explore parental curiosity and what happens when we grow up with parents who provide for us but aren't particularly interested in our inner worlds. I look at how this quiet absence can shape our sense of worth, teach us to focus on everyone else's needs, and contribute to emotional outsourcing, people pleasing, and perfectionism. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/403 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #51: You can spot when someone's being lousy to other people from 3 miles away. You're like an emotional bloodhound who knows when your friend is lying, when your coworker is stressed, when your mom is about to lose it. But when someone hurts you, you suddenly need a jury of 12 of your peers to confirm that what just happened was actually messed up and maybe it's okay for you to be hurt. This habit of emotional outsourcing at its most painful means you're literally giving away your right to trust your own experience and handing it over to the person who hurt you, random friends, or the internet. This is such a crucial part of what I teach in my book, End Emotional Outsourcing. In the book, you'll learn about the nervous system science behind why you doubt yourself, plus, of course, somatic body-based practices to help you reconnect with your body's wisdom. Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

#402: Are you exhausted by how incompetent everyone around you seems, yet somehow still feel responsible for making sure everything gets done? What if your irritation isn't simply a personality flaw, but a response to everything you were expected to carry as a child? In this episode, I explore the eldest daughter role, which isn't necessarily about birth order. It's about being the child who learned to anticipate everyone's needs, manage the household, and never need too much herself. I look at how this role can develop into emotional outsourcing, perfectionism, hypervigilance, and a deep exhaustion that rest alone can't fix. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/402 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #50: Your value isn't in your productivity. That uncomfortable feeling when you stop moving, stop doing, stop managing everyone else's life? That's not laziness talking. It's the voice of a nervous system that learned early on that being needed equals being safe. Your actual people want you to rest. They want you to have needs, wants, preferences. They want to take care of you sometimes too. And all of this is exactly what I break down in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing. Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

#401: What happens when your good intentions leave someone you love feeling unheard? When you keep offering suggestions, asking if they're sure, or trying to convince them to change their mind, even after they've given you a clear answer? In this episode, I explore the role of the pusher and how emotional outsourcing can lead us to manage other people's choices because of our own discomfort, anxiety, or fear of not mattering. I look at why we sometimes mistake being useful for being loved, and how repeated attempts to help can erode trust and create distance in our relationships. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/401 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #49: This episode explores how childhood messages about being "too much" create lifelong patterns of self-shrinking that affect every area of your life. When you spend years making yourself smaller to fit other people's comfort levels, you lose track of where you end and their expectations begin. But what if I told you that's a lie? What if I told you that the right people are starving for your realness? What if I told you that your "too much" is actually someone else's "just right?" What if you're not too much at all? What if you've just been around people who are too small for your bigness? This is exactly why I wrote End Emotional Outsourcing, to help you stop apologizing for who you are and start celebrating your fullest self. Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

#400: Have you ever clearly said what you want, only to have someone question it, suggest something else, or act like they know your preferences better than you do? This week, I explore what happens when we are not taken at our word, especially in our closest relationships. We look at how having our desires, feelings, and internal experiences repeatedly questioned can slowly create self-doubt, disconnect us from ourselves, and reinforce emotional outsourcing patterns. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/400 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #48: There's this bone-deep fatigue that seeps into you when you've been performing yourself for everyone else instead of living your life for you. It's different from being tired after a busy day. It's the exhaustion that comes from constantly calculating what version of yourself the room needs. Meanwhile, real love doesn't require a costume. No tap dancing required for real, true, authentic, grounded, open-hearted love, love, love. That's what my book, End Emotional Outsourcing, is all about: helping you take off the mask and discover that this big, messy world needs the real you, not the performing you. Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/book Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

#399: What happens when loving someone turns into managing their growth, their choices, and their willingness to change? This week, I’m exploring the way we can end up taking responsibility for someone else’s development, emotional state, and readiness while losing connection with our own needs. We’re talking about the emails I receive from women asking for resources for their husbands, boyfriends, or sons, and the deeper pattern underneath searching for the “right” book, therapist, or conversation that will finally make someone else change. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/399 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #47: Ever have that moment where you realize you've been living your entire life for everyone else? You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’ve just been emotionally outsourcing. In this book series, I name the pattern, share why it develops, and explain how it shapes everything from your relationships to your sense of self. And I’ll tell you how my book, End Emotional Outsourcing, can help you start coming home to yourself - no longer orbiting everyone else’s needs, but finally living for you. Order the book now: beatrizalbina.com/book Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

#398: What if the patterns you’ve been blaming yourself for were actually survival strategies you learned for a reason? This week, I’m celebrating the paperback release of my book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. I’m sharing why I wrote this book, the experiences that led me to create the framework of emotional outsourcing, and why I believe we need a new way to understand these patterns. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/398 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #46: Hello my love! Welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our cozy corner of the Feminist Wellness podcast where I answer your most tender, honest, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and nervous system care. In today’s episode, we’re exploring why setting boundaries can feel so hard, and why guilt often floods in after you finally speak your truth. We’ll talk about the deep nervous system wiring that makes boundaries feel threatening, especially if you were raised to believe that love means self-sacrifice. You’ll learn how your biology, past experiences, and systemic conditioning all collide to make boundary-setting feel unsafe, even when you know it’s the right thing. We’re also unpacking why you procrastinate, even on things that matter deeply to you. Spoiler alert: it’s not about laziness. It’s your nervous system trying to protect you from real or perceived danger. You’ll learn how freeze shows up, how perfectionism fuels it, and what gentle, practical tools can help you shift from stuck to self-led. This work is compassionate, science-backed, and deeply honoring of your lived experience. Because you deserve to set boundaries without betrayal, take action without fear, and build a life rooted in your own nervous system safety and self-trust. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

#397: What happens after the breakthrough? After the ceremony, the therapy session, the retreat, or the moment where everything suddenly makes sense? Why do we sometimes return to the same patterns even after something profound has opened? This week, I explore the difference between catharsis and integration, and why the peak experiences that create possibility are not the same thing as the daily practice that creates lasting change. We’ll look at why a powerful opening can create a window for change, but why it is the ordinary moments afterward, the conversations, choices, and pauses, where new patterns actually take root. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/397 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

Tenderoni Hotline #45: In this episode, we’re diving into how to stop emotional outsourcing, that habit of looking outside yourself for safety, belonging, and worth, and start reclaiming those from within. I’ll share how to recognize when you’re losing yourself in other people’s needs, plus simple, science-backed nervous system regulation tools to help you catch dysregulation before it hits a 10. This work is gentle, practical, and profoundly powerful. You deserve to feel safe in your own body and to belong deeply to yourself. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: [email protected] Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift

#396: What if your feelings aren’t something to control, fix, or get rid of, but something trying to guide you back to yourself? This week, I explore what it really means to stop running from your feelings and why so many of us have learned to push our emotions down, power through, or disconnect from what’s happening inside. We look at how our nervous systems, social conditioning, and past experiences teach us that some feelings are unsafe, inconvenient, or too much, and how those patterns can keep us disconnected from our own wisdom. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/396 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en Mentioned in this episode: Join The Shift today! You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshift The Shift