Advertise on podcast: Better Loving, by Laura Ellen

Links & Resources: - Work with Laura - About Laura - Subscribe to the Better Loving Substack - Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary: In this episode of Better Loving, Laura Ellen explores the shift from performative sexuality—shaped by validation, approval, and desirability—to mature sexual power rooted in self-connection, presence, and authenticity. Laura unpacks how performative patterns show up in subtle ways, including faking enjoyment, over-accommodating, or shaping desire around external response, and reflects on how these dynamics impact intimacy and self-worth. Through personal insight, reflection questions, and micro-practices, this episode invites listeners to relate to their sexuality as a source of inner authority and embodied confidence rather than something to prove or exchange. Key Topics: - Sexual maturity and inner authority - Desire rooted in presence, not performance - Sexual identity beyond validation - Pleasure without agenda or outcome - Erotic self-connection and dignity - Authentic intimacy and mutuality - Self-worth beyond desirability - Non-transactional sexual relating - Embodied confidence and relational clarity - Healthy boundaries and conscious sexuality Chapters & Time Stamps: 00:00 Introduction: The Power of Sexuality 00:40 Performative Sexuality vs. Mature Sexual Power 01:36 Understanding Performative Traps 08:20 Reflection Questions and Practices 11:46 Embracing Erotic Integrity 19:36 Final Thoughts and Invitation Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: About Laura Work with Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary: Starting again isn’t triumphant for me, it’s tender, resistant, and quietly/very confronting. In this episode, I reflect on what it’s been like to return to public creation after three years of choosing privacy, growth, and a life lived largely off the internet. Responding to your AMA questions, I share why I stepped away, what I had to let go of, and how I’m learning to hold creativity, visibility, and integrity without self-abandonment. This is a conversation about shame, courage, and allowing ourselves to be seen again. Key Topics: - Resistance, fear, and desire when starting again - Life beyond internet attention and external validation - Why I stepped away — and what that time made possible - Integrating growth through action, not just insight - Holding both visibility and integrity as a therapist - Reclaiming creativity without shame - The courage it takes to be seen Disclaimer This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary:Cue that moment when you realise you might actually be the common denominator in your relationships. This episode dives into why we lose our power when we stay stuck in victim mentality, drama cycles, and blame, and how embracing radical self-responsibility and self-ownership can transform the way you relate to others. I explore the importance of healthy boundaries, secure attachment, and releasing anger and resentment, offering insights into how owning your 50% can unlock more empowered, authentic relationships across friends, family, money, and lovers. Key Topics: Victim mentality and its impact on personal power Recognising drama cycles in relationships Radical self-responsibility and self-ownership Healthy relationships and secure attachment Releasing anger and resentment Setting and maintaining boundaries Ending blame and reclaiming your power Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary: Sexual energy is more than something to discharge or “get over with.” In this episode, Laura explores sexual energy as a vital life force—one that can either deplete us or actively nourish our creativity, confidence, and capacity to take meaningful action. Drawing from embodied wisdom and reflective inquiry, this conversation invites listeners to become more conscious of how they relate to arousal, desire, and pleasure, and how that energy can be intentionally directed toward connection, self-trust, creative expression, and personal power. This episode is an invitation to relate to sexuality with greater awareness, agency, and depth. Key Topics Covered: Depletive sex versus nourishing sex Sexual energy as a creative and life-enhancing force Mindfully choosing where and how you invest your sexual energy Sexuality beyond performance or release Cultivating power, vitality, and embodied confidence Using arousal as fuel for creativity, clarity, and bold action Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary: In this episode, we explore the question many people quietly live inside of: Should I stay, or should I go? Rather than offering a definitive answer, this conversation invites deeper self-responsibility around indecision, ambivalence, and commitment in intimate relationships. We look at how lack of clarity erodes connection, how toxic dynamics are co-created, and what it actually takes to relate from a secure, conscious place. This episode supports listeners to slow down, ask better questions, and discern whether they are choosing from fear, habit, or genuine devotion—before making life-altering relationship decisions. Key Topics Covered: Conscious relating and secure attachment Indecision, ambivalence, and the cost of not choosing Toxic relationship dynamics and shared responsibility Devotional love, commitment, and emotional maturity Conflict, blame, and drama cycles Trying to change your partner vs accepting reality Compromise vs self-abandonment Consenting vs accommodating Knowing when to stay, when to leave, and how to tell the difference Breakup realities and relational discernment Better questions to ask yourself before ending (or deepening) a relationship Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary: This episode explores what it really takes to move beyond performative sexuality and into a sex life—and sense of self—that feels authentic, embodied, and fulfilling. We look at how body confidence, anxious attachment, shame, and inherited sexual narratives can quietly shape how we show up in intimacy, often keeping us disconnected from our power and desire. Through honest reflection and practical insight, this conversation invites listeners to reclaim their sexuality as a place of agency, self-trust, and self-discovery—where sex works for you, not against you, and where being fully yourself is no longer negotiable. Key Topics Covered: Body confidence and sexual self-trust Anxious attachment and how it shows up in intimacy Releasing shame-based sexual conditioning Moving out of fear and into personal power Authentic self-expression in relationships and sex Intentional, pleasure-led sexuality Accessing deeper, instinctual (primal) states safely Courage, rejection, and self-ownership Sexual fulfillment beyond external validation Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary: In this episode of the Better Loving podcast, Laura Ellen is joined by Rebecca Bee Gunson for a grounded and honest conversation about the heart as a central pathway to intimacy, integrity, and embodied aliveness. Together, they explore how social conditioning, relational harm, and the misuse of sexuality can lead to emotional shutdown—and what it takes to gently restore trust, pleasure, and connection within the body. This episode speaks to the courage required to remain open-hearted, to feel and hold love without collapsing or over-functioning, and to cultivate intimacy that is rooted in respect, agency, and emotional maturity. Key Topics Explored: Healing the heart after relational and cultural wounding Heart de-armouring and its role in intimacy and embodiment The relationship between emotional openness and sexual vitality Integrity, consent, and responsibility in intimate relationships The courage and resilience of the feminine heart Social and cultural factors that contribute to emotional shutdown Developing the capacity to feel and hold love in the body Power dynamics, manipulation, and the misuse of sexuality Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary:In this episode of The Better Loving Podcast, I explore how self-pleasure can be a transformative practice beyond simply achieving orgasm. We dive into intentional ways to cultivate sexual energy, heal and resource your pelvis, and reclaim sovereignty over your pleasure. I discuss how nurturing your sexual energy can enhance your creativity, radiance, and overall capacity to thrive in your body, relationships, and life. This episode is for anyone curious about harnessing self-pleasure as a tool for feminine thriving, energetic vitality, and attracting sexually compatible partners, all while fostering deeper self-love and emotional connection. Key Topics Covered: Self-pleasure beyond orgasm: intentional practices for transformation and healing Cultivating sexual energy as vitality and creative power Awareness and healing of the base and sacral energies Unpacking shame, pain, and conditioning in the pelvis Mechanics of intentional self-pleasure and radical energetic practices Using sexual energy to cultivate radiance, love, and connection Strong self-pleasure as a foundation for high sexual standards Maintaining sovereignty over your pleasure and sexual energy Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary:In this episode, I explore the lingering effects of sexual shame and the cultural messages that have long tried to define and confine women. I share my own journey of confronting uncomfortable and painful experiences with sexuality, unpack where sexual shame comes from, how it shows up in our bodies and relationships, and ways to reclaim confidence and pleasure. This episode is for women ready to break free from cultural stigma, step into their authentic sensuality, and live more fully and fearlessly. Key Topics Covered: Personal experiences with sexual shame and discomfort Origins of sexual shame in culture and history How sexual shame manifests in the body and mind The impact of shame on relationships and self-expression Practical ways to release shame and reconnect with authentic sexuality Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary:In this episode, I dive into the energetics of dating and how to stay aligned with your values while attracting what you truly want. We explore the challenges and strategies of online dating, how to get clear on your desires, navigating situationships, avoiding settling, and recognizing when someone isn’t that into you. I also cover insecurities, imposter syndrome, and the subtle pressures of modern dating culture, offering practical insights to help you date with integrity, confidence, and clarity. Full access to this content is available exclusively to paying members of my Substack. Key Topics Covered: Online dating strategies and profile setup Gaining clarity on values and desires Avoiding settling and navigating situationships Choosing consciously, not being chosen Recognizing when someone isn’t genuinely interested Dating culture, pacing, and pressure Managing insecurities and imposter syndrome in dating Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary:In this episode of The Sexual Wellness Podcast, I dive into why so many of us struggle to ask for what we want in the bedroom—and how to move past patterns of shrinking, freezing, or over-controlling. I share practical tools to build confidence, communicate desires with clarity, and create a culture of feedback in your intimate life, alongside techniques for self-soothing, self-pleasure, and connecting with partners in new, empowered ways. Key Topics Covered: Understanding how expressing desire is connected to how we receive others’ needs Receiving feedback with ease and grace Creating a feedback-positive culture in intimacy Communication techniques beyond the bedroom My “Loves, Loathes, Lusts” sharing practice for couples and lovers Examining personal assertive patterns Signature process for in-the-moment self-soothing Self-pleasure practices and embodiment exercises Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura: Subscribe to Substack: Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here: Episode Summary: How do we relate to sexual desire with honesty, responsibility, and care in a post #MeToo world? In this episode, I explore sexual authenticity through a grounded, relational lens. One that acknowledges our instinctive, embodied nature while holding clear ethical and emotional boundaries. This conversation looks at how shame, suppression, and subtle social conditioning can quietly distort our relationship with desire, pleasure, and intimacy. We explore what it means to express sexual interest in ways that are respectful, attuned, and appropriate for modern relational contexts. I reflect on how cultural narratives around sex, gender, and power shape behaviour on both conscious and unconscious levels, and how greater self-awareness can support safer, more connected experiences of intimacy. This episode is an invitation to consider how sexual expression can be both alive and accountable, rooted in presence rather than performance, and guided by mutual respect rather than fear or shutdown. Key Topics: Sexual authenticity and ethical expression in a post #MeToo context The impact of shame and suppression on desire and connection Navigating attraction, consent, and responsibility in everyday interactions Asking people out in real life with clarity and respect Creating a desire-positive culture without entitlement or pressure Gendered shame and its impact on relational dynamics Subtle forms of shaming and belittling that often go unnoticed Supporting intimacy that feels safe, embodied, and mutually attuned Disclaimer This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura: www.laura-ellen.com/contact Subscribe to Substack: Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here: Episode Summary: In this episode, I explore desire as a vital psychological and somatic force, not just something linked to sex, but something that shapes our motivation, choices, and sense of aliveness. Drawing from tantric philosophy, embodiment practices, and lived experience, I reflect on how desire can be clarified, listened to, and worked with in a grounded and ethical way. We look at what happens when desire is distorted by conditioning, unconscious patterns, or external expectations, and how reconnecting with authentic desire can support clearer decision making, sustainable action, and personal agency. This is an invitational conversation about learning to relate to desire with curiosity and responsibility, rather than urgency or self judgment. Key Topics Covered: Expanding desire beyond a sex focused framework into a whole of life experience A tantric perspective on desire and life force energy Identifying authentic desire versus conditioned wanting The role of the subconscious in shaping what we pursue and avoid Desire as a source of empowerment rather than pressure What manifestation requires beyond intention and positive thinking Translating desire into grounded action and clear strategy Disclaimer This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura About Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here Episode Summary: In this episode I explore the practice of full-body pleasure in a Yin Full Body O Workshop, reflecting on how yin energy, vulnerability, and sensation intersect in sexual experience. I discuss how pleasure can be deeply healing, the ways we can redefine orgasm beyond expectation, and how techniques can be adapted to honor individual bodies. I share what the experience of a full-body orgasm can feel like, and the importance of aftercare and retaining sexual energy. This is a grounded, clinical, and invitational conversation about connecting to the body, embracing sensation, and exploring intimacy in a conscious way. Key Topics Covered: The healing potential of yin pleasure Understanding vulnerability in sexual experience Expanding the definition of orgasm Exploring yin style sex and full-body pleasure Techniques and adaptations for different bodies Experiencing the sensations of a full-body orgasm Aftercare and sexual energy retention Disclaimer This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe

Links & Resources: Work with Laura About Laura Subscribe to Substack Music by PIANIKA, a New Zealand based producer, creating capsules of sound and energy. Listen here. Episode Summary: In this episode, I explore emotional shutdown during sex and how to move through it with ease, presence, and pleasure. I share tools and practices to help you stay embodied, navigate your inner landscape, and create a sexual culture that feels nourishing and authentic. We discuss understanding the mind as a coping mechanism, identifying safety needs, cultivating intimacy through authenticity, and using self-pleasure as a form of care and healing. This episode offers practical guidance for creating connection, pleasure, and freedom in your sexual experiences. Key Topics Covered: Recognising why sex can feel like an emotional landmine and how to move through it Becoming aware of your inner landscape during sex and self-pleasure Understanding the mind as a coping tool in the bedroom and in life Navigating sexual healing with care and safety Identifying your safety needs including accelerators, brakes, and maintenance requirements Deconditioning limiting patterns around sex Cultivating intimacy as authenticity in connection Using self-pleasure as an expression of care and healing Creating a sexual culture that is nourishing, fulfilling, and pleasurable Titrating towards orgasm and staying present through the experience Disclaimer This podcast is intended for general educational and reflective purposes only and is not a substitute for individual mental health care. The topics discussed are broad in nature and cannot account for individual circumstances or nuance. Listeners are encouraged to take what resonates, leave what doesn’t, and seek appropriate professional support where needed. If you have any questions or concerns, please contact [email protected]. © Laura Ellen. All rights reserved. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bylauraellen.substack.com/subscribe