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I've been doing lots of writing and recording, but questioning myself about sharing. Life feels kind of intense lately, and that stops me from following through on sharing what sometimes feels like too much vulnerability. It's also true to say that sometimes I wait for things to settle that I've made a podcast episode about -before I share. Sometimes that wait time makes me see it's better not to share, and sometimes it feels like the timing is perfect because of waiting. I have a few of those, that might soon be "old enough", that I can upload and stay comfortable. It's accurate to say that I make this podcast for myself. I reference episodes probably more than anyone, for multiple reasons. But I do share with people I know and meet, so I have to find balance with what I want, and what I do. This episode isn't necessarily so much about self-awareness as it is just audio that matters to me. This is the first time I heard my Grandma's voice. My mother is my everything, and her parents were so important to her. My mother talks about them often, and she was so keen for me to listen to this recording when she found it. As I listened I thought it was fascinating how different their world is from the one we are in now. My grandpa would have loved to be alive now and if he were he'd have a podcast of his own! This is the grandpa that I am so much alike. I even have his nose. Later in the audio they describe some tourist trips they went on, and some relatives of my Grandpa's Mothers they visited. Maybe this will be a different kind of podcast that is a welcome change from the norm. Sending you my love if you're reading this.

I decided to sit down and chat with my friend that I dedicated my book (14 days & 40 years) to. What a joy it is to watch her grow into an amazing woman. I met her when she had just turned 20. Watching her mature so much in 4 years makes me wonder how it has only been 4 years. I feel like I've known her so much longer because I know her much like a lifetime friend. I hope we get to be that...both of us living long lives and being able to say we've laughed and loved since she was 20. This is just a fun sit down chat where we accomplish nothing but discuss a story we both love so much. I'm so lucky to have a friend like Rainey!!

As with many things, I'm not fast, but I always eventually get there. :) It took a while to be content with it all, but I've finished, and my Audiobook of 14 Days & 40 Years is available! You will find it on every Audiobook platform eventually. I want to do another episode talking to the friend who the book is dedicated to. I think that will be better than me and my little announcement here. It's 5 hours long, and maybe you have some driving time to give it a listen. :) If you want to tell me what you thought of the book, feel free to email me: [email protected]

What is it to be a pee-on? Why am I happy to be one? In this episode I pull together a few life-lessons reached by choosing to be a witness, choosing to feel empathy, and by watching others struggle with greed/power/cognitive distortions and these things related to NOT being a pee-on. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe power and money somehow benefit your soul. Or maybe the story they do is all you need for benefit. I just can't see it, and this is my explanation of why. I chose this image of flowers at the base of a tree trunk because it represents the little beauty at the bottom that can go missed if you only insist on seeing the big tree above it.

I personally feel like the more people become self aware, the less they feel they need religion. That's not saying the less they need "God", but the less they need to be told what God is and what God "wants". And isn't that really what religion is all about? Being told all these things by "MEN" that they say is from that all knowing being in the sky. In fact, don't they tell you God is everything, while also telling you in a round-a-bout way that he actually needs you to listen to the men who speak FOR him? Ya, this is all part of what you end up hearing when you finally start to think for yourself, get to know who you are, and finally allow the questions about what "God" is to YOU. If you are anything like me...the self awareness came with questions about Spirituality also, and answering questions about spirituality is really where the goods are these days. Do I need religion? Am I spiritual? What do I want "God" to look like? What if I answer these questions without anyone else telling me what my answers are? That's who I am now. The one who won't be told the answers to such big questions. I chose this image of new aspen leaves for a couple reasons. New growth is beautiful and strong...and Aspens are part of a system of trees, not singular.

I thought I'd share my personal experiences with Craniosacral Therapy and Somato Emotional Release from 20 years ago. It's actually terrifying to think 20 years have passed since my initial reading of the book The Inner Physician and You by Dr John Upledger. I wish I had done more with the knowledge in that time, and shared this information sooner. I feel like I have a thousand stories, and only randomly do I think to share some of the really good ones. Another factor is that as much as I DO share, I really struggle sharing. Sometimes it feels easy, and not vulnerable, other times it feels so hard and very vulnerable. It all depends on the headspace I'm in and if I feel like I'm complaining too often. I definitely have issues around always trying not to sound like a complainer, because I know how lucky I am, despite any pain I feel. The world is a difficult place, and on a scale of "hard", I really do rest on the easy end. I never want to sound like I don't know that. Bless you if you feel like life is hard. Whatever you are going through, I share because maybe something I've experienced is useful to more than just me. I think ultimately, we all seek feeling a sense of Wholeness. I chose this image because it is of my wholeness rune and other charms made for me and given to me. You see a flower over a heart that says creative, attached to an aqua crystal. The word Love over a ring. And a dandelion seed encapsulated in glass. (One of my favorite things to photograph for it's beauty.)

MTHFR is a Gene transcription error with an estimated 44% of people having it. That would be no big deal if it didn't directly affect your health in BIG ways. Finding out I have this issue, I'm having to learn more, and it's not fun. I thought an episode about it might be a starting point for some and prove to be somewhat useful. This is also a story of my health over the last few months since learning MTHFR is a thing. Below is the notes from things I reference. Jay Getten article: Understanding the MTHFR gene mutation and it’s link to mental and neuro-developmental disorders. Published May 12 2024. Gary Brecka on Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett. The Ultimate Human with Gary Brecka (garybrecka.com) 10X Health System (.com.) Medical Medium by Anthony William (Thyroid, Mono, Epstein barr) Dr. Jennifer Daniels VitalityCycles.com (free turpentine download) @drmaryclaire (has free peri-meno downloads) Your Inner Physician and You by Dr John Upledger Craniosacral Therapy The Upledger Institute, find a therapist, iahp.com The 85% Solution by Dr Dan Purser Danpursermd.com Mary Ruth’s Liquid Morning Multivitamin Essentials The Yeast Connection and the Woman by Dr William Crook Dirty Genes by Dr Ben Lynch Dr Ben Lynch website: mthfr.net Dr Matthew Stoddard Sundance Foot and Ankle I chose this image as a play on Genes...and Dr Ben Lynch's wonderful book about making your Dirty Genes clean.

I'm going to continue doing these for a while, it feels right for me. I will create another podcast and call it NatAndChat Sleep Stories. You can find them there shortly. This will be the second and last one I upload here on my Self Awareness podcast. Eventually you will be able to play them back to back without interruption there. I look forward to writing fiction getting easier :) Keep an eye out for the Podcast Art on that one to be changing; I have a kind friend who is going to help me with a photo for it. I have a fun idea and hope to execute it with her help. These Sleep Stories are for my sweet friends Fufu and Lulu. This is my attempt to "do something". Background Music credit: Permafrost by Scott Buckley | www.scottbuckley.com.au Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ Creative Commons CC BY 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Some gifts can only come from some people. This feels like a complicated thought, and I hope I explain what I mean in these few minutes. I chose this image because sunshine in the evening always feels like a gift especially when petals or leaves get to be even more beautiful. It's like I'm witness to their gift of sunshine.

If you know me, you know I don’t write fiction. So this is an exception. I wrote and recorded this for a friend who is in a very stressful part of the world. She is a new mother, and both her and her baby are struggling to sleep. I personally find sleep even more vital to my health than eating. So, because I can’t do anything to physically help her, I decided to make her a sleep story. -Fu fu and Lu lu, my voice will go with you. Included in this recording are some sounds I got online: bird-voices-7716 Evening Improvisation (with Ethera) by Spheriá | https://soundcloud.com/spheriamusic Music promoted by https://www.chosic.com/free-music/all/ Creative Commons CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/ After writing this, and the urgency to finish, I decided I need to not just make one sleep story, but a series of them. So be patient with me as I extend the stories of Momma Fulla and Little Leen. As I do this, I will make a podcast exclusively for those stories. May peace be your companion if you also need help sleeping.

Working on many things I want to share on my podcast...and continually interrupted by my upset over what's happening in our world. I am uploading the least in the history of my podcast, while feeling the most. I have not walked away...its actually the contrary. Im also working on getting a sleep story (or a few) for those I love also struggling through this. Bless you, if you are too. Today, this is my prayer.

I spend so much time questioning the lack of humanity I see, and feeling desperate to find the humans. Could we all be different alien species, or is being human more like a decision?I know this is a short one, but its a great question to ask.Shout-out to the band The Killers for helping me make a point. And to my beautiful friend Carla for dancing on the beach at sunset; providing me the perfect shot. I chose this image because it was an evening one of my best friends and her daughters were dancing on the beach of Utah Lake to music and a sunset. If an alien asked "What is it like to be a human?" this would be a good photo to share.

I finished a book I've been working on for for a very long time, and the best way to tell you about it is to share the back cover, the Preface, and the Prologue. I hope this sounds like a book worth reading.

Everything in life is an equation with a sum. It depends on what sum you are looking at, that tells you what it took to get there. I'm in a position of currently needing to think differently because not thinking and just expecting an outcome was a bad experience.  I'm seeing that intention, and caring is the way to achieve so many things in life, and when you pay attention to the 1 AND the 1, it's then that you benefit from the 2. This episode is concentrating on both of those 1's, not just the 2. I sound like I'm being cryptic, no, it's just that you need to listen in order for me to effectively explain :)

I've been working on a book for many years about self esteem, self respect, confidence, and self awareness. It's finally finished and available. This is a short episode reading the back of the book, and the preface. I hope it sounds worth your time.