1465964442
Sanity and Society

Advertise on podcast: Sanity and Society

Rating
★★★★★
5
from
8 reviews
This podcast has
50 episodes
Language
English
Publisher
Jeremy
Explicit
No
Date created
2019/05/29
Latest episode
2026/01/13
Average duration
42 min.
Release period
26 days

Description

Welcome to "Sanity and Society," where we peel back the layers of the modern mind and the cultural forces that shape it. I'm your host, a therapist with a passion for exploring the deep and sometimes daunting aspects of human psychology as they intersect with today's most pressing societal issues. Life doesn't come with an instruction manual, but you can think of this program as a guide for better understanding the complexities of the human psyche and the societal trends impacting us all. psychfox.substack.com

Unlock Sanity and Society podcast Email contact info,
Listeners & Audience details

Email contact information

Direct podcast contact details

Listeners

Audience numbers & engagement insights

Audience details

Podcast Insights

Podcast episodes

Check latest episodes from Sanity and Society podcast


The Masculinity and Narcissism of Frankenstein: with Jeremy Fox
2026/01/13
Thank you Geraldine A. V. Hughes, Aramis, and many others for tuning into my live video with Dr. Paul! Join me for my next live video in the app. Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
Spiritual stonewalling as abuse
2025/11/24
Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
Psychology and survival in the AI age
2025/11/21
Most people think technology is changing their habits.They underestimate how much it is changing their psychology. In this episode, Dr. Paul and I traveled through embodiment, AI romance, transhumanism, dating apps, mirror neurons, the Zeigarnik loop, evolutionary psychology, and why your nervous system still thinks it is living in a tribe, and not an algorithmic casino. Below is a full walkthrough, with timestamps, quotes, why it matters, and core ideas for each moment. [00:00–00:54] What Tech Is Doing to Our Minds Jeremy: “We’ve heard all the storm and stress, all the fear mongering. I want to give people language they can hang their hat on, so they can stay human, stay mature, and stay sane.” Why We Care: Most people do not realize how much tech is rewiring their emotional expectations before they even notice the change. Core Idea: This is not another “phones bad” conversation.This is about attachment theory, developmental psychology, and the human nervous system, and crucially: how tech reshapes all three. The goal from the beginning was not to moralize.It was to name the mechanisms through which tech interferes with: * self development * attachment * embodiment * emotional literacy * agency Takeaway:Write your one sentence philosophy of tech: I will use technology for assistance, but never for attunement. If you cannot name the boundary, the erosion has already begun. [00:54–03:23] AI Is a “Massager,” Not a Partner Dr. Paul: “AI is aggregated data. It summarizes. It doesn’t think. It’s like a mechanical back massager. It can stimulate you, but it cannot adjust to your emotional or bodily reactions the way a real person does.” This was one of his strongest analogies.A massager loops the same pattern forever.A human hand responds to the micro shifts in your body. Tech gives stimulation.People give attunement. And the difference between the two is what makes emotional maturity possible. Why We Care: A machine can stimulate you.It cannot attune to you. Attunement is what builds a self; stimulation is what bypasses it. Core Idea: Tech delivers stimulation, not responsiveness.Human maturation requires responsiveness: the “I saw you wince, so I softened my touch” dynamic. Takeaway:Ask of any tech habit: Is this stimulating me or attuning to me? Only one of those advances emotional development. [03:23–05:18] Frankenstein, Emotion, and the Limits of Silicon Dr. Paul: “Emotion is energy. Chemical energy. It runs through flesh. Technology is stitched together in our image like Frankenstein’s monster, but it cannot feel anything through its own body.” Why We Care: Emotion is not data.It is chemistry, electricity, heart rate, breath, embodiment.AI has no nervous system, and therefore no emotional capacity. He raises a point people avoid:Emotion is not metaphorical energy.It is literal electrochemical activity in the limbic system powered by food, which is powered by the sun. Our nervous system is a solar-powered emotional engine.AI runs on electricity and statistical patterns. The substrate matters. Core Idea: Human emotion is solar-powered chemistry running through flesh.AI runs on electricity and statistical prediction.The substrates differ at the level that matters for consciousness. Takeaway: Never outsource emotional regulation to something that cannot feel. [05:18–07:50] Kohut’s Three Tasks and Why AI Fails All of Them Jeremy: “Kohut’s three tasks: mirroring, idealizing, and twinship, cannot be delivered by AI. You can get mirroring. You cannot get real idealization or twinship.” Why We Care: AI gives perfect mirroringbut zero rupture,zero resistance,zero challenge.And without rupture and repair, psychological adulthood never develops. Without frustration and limits, people remain adolescent psychologically. This is where we get into developmental theory: * Mirroring: AI can approximate. * Idealizing: You cannot grow toward it; it is not flesh. * Twinship: It has no parallel path, no mortality, no embodied stakes. Perfect validation without rupture = psychological adolescence. Bowlby and Ainsworth always emphasized rupture and repair.AI gives no rupture.It gives you everything instantly. And nothing stunts development like constant gratification.Core Idea: AI can simulate the appearance of empathy, but it cannot provide: * a human target for idealization * a shared developmental arc * twinship based on the human journey * co-regulated rupture and repair Takeaway:Once a week, intentionally choose a real interaction with the risk of misunderstanding or disagreement. That is adulthood training. [07:50–08:27] The Infinite Mind Problem Jeremy: “If you never forget anything, you never know when to stop thinking. A disembodied mind can get lost in infinite processing.” This is an overlooked part of embodiment:Forgetting is a safety mechanism.Fatigue is a safety mechanism.You stop thinking so you do not burn out. A disembodied mind has no natural “enough.”That is not transcendence.It is paralysis. Why We Care: Human cognition evolved with natural endpoints: hunger, fatigue, forgetting.Remove those limitations and you remove sanity’s guardrails. Core Idea: Embodiment provides boundaries.A purely digital mind has none, which leads to endless loops, obsessive thinking, and lack of closure. Takeaway: Practice intentional cognitive closure.Set daily “stop thinking now” points. [08:27–11:27] Why Transhumanism Will Be a Male Drug First Dr. Paul: “What the body is to the biologic female, tech is to the biologic male. Transhumanism will be the male version of plastic surgery.” Dr. Paul’s argument: * Women have historically needed to protect bodily integrity for survival and fertility. * Men externalize identity into tools, status, and cognition. * Therefore men will rush into cybernetic enhancement, cognitive implants, and augmentation. Women will do it reluctantly, if social or romantic pressure forces it. Why We Care: Men tend to externalize identity into tools, status, and cognitive enhancement.Women tend to guard bodily integrity due to biological investment. This asymmetry will shape the future of tech adoption. Core Idea: Men will rush toward cognitive augmentation.Women will be more ambivalent unless social pressure forces conformity. Takeaway:Ask: “Am I using tech to grow, or to escape myself?”Before tech answers that question for you. [11:27–15:02] The Surrogates Problem: When the Avatar Replaces the Body Jeremy: “In “Surrogates” [film], people live life through android doubles. It is a level of disembodiment we need to take seriously.” This part touched on: * the movie Surrogates * bodily risk * how women have historically had to guard the body * how men treat the body as an instrument of acquisition Disembodiment has different psychological costs depending on sex, history, and evolutionary pressures. Why We Care: Disembodiment creates psychological drift: * less agency * less courage * less resilience * more abstraction * more fantasy Historically, women have been more aware of bodily risk; men more willing to treat the body as a tool. Core Idea: When the avatar replaces the body, the psyche loses contact with consequence. Takeaway:Do one daily action that reconnects you to physical reality: handwriting, cooking, lifting, gardening, cold exposure, or walking barefoot outdoors. [15:02–18:29] Eggs, Energy, and Emotional Investment Dr. Paul: “An egg burns fifty thousand times the energy of a sperm. Women have two to three hundred eggs in a lifetime. That investment shapes psychology even after menopause.” He connects: * reproductive risk * energy expenditure * relationship selectivity * emotional commitment His conclusion: Men often stay in relationships they are not emotionally invested in because their focus is external.Women are more likely to leave if the emotional climate deteriorates. Why We Care: Evolutionary investment shapes: * attachment behavior * emotional thresholds * selectivity * break-up patterns * relational risk assessment Core Idea: Females evolved with high reproductive cost; males evolved with high exploratory and provisioning cost.This echoes in modern emotional needs and tolerances. Takeaway:Make the emotional climate in your relationships explicit, not just logistics. [18:29–21:07] AI Romance and the Narcissism Spiral Jeremy: “If AI gives you everything you want, one day you become unbearable to real people. No one challenges you. That is how narcissism is formed.” Here we compare: * the pop reaction (“that’s weird, dating a robot”) * the clinical reaction (“what need is this meeting?”) Katherine Dee told me: * For some, AI may be the only place they can get companionship. * For others, it will prevent them from becoming pro social. This is not about morality.It is about developmental arrest. Then Jeremy connected it to The Matrix: * The first Matrix was too perfect. * People died. * Humans require friction. Why We Care: AI companions give: * endless affirmation * endless patience * no rupture * no frustration * no competing subjectivity This is the recipe for fragility, the opposite of resilience. Core Idea: The first Matrix failed because it was too perfect.Humans die psychologically in perfection.We grow through friction. Takeaway:If AI comforts you, balance it with weekly “discomfort reps” in real relationships. [22:05–29:45] Why AI Cannot Be a Relationship Dr. Paul: “It is not a relationship unless it is mammalian. Real relationships are between nervous systems, not data sets.” He pulls together: * the triune brain * mirror neurons * story-based memory * the mammalian bonding system And he makes an underrated point about dating apps: “The matchmaker used to be an embodied mammal who knew each person. Dating apps replaced her with a calculator.” That replacement changed the entire structure of mate selection. Why We Care: Relationships require: * co-regulation * mirror
Avoidance culture is a mind virus
2025/11/13
Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
Preview of Narcissism uncovered
2025/10/31
Stay tuned for more uploads from this livestream about how to survive narcissistic institutions and spiritual starvation. Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
Human darkness: the normal setting of existence
2025/10/17
Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
Frictionless Tech, Faster Mental Breakdowns
2025/08/21
Katherine Dee’s journalistic work in internet history and cultural analysis have spanned a variety of outlets and subjects, and I’ve long enjoyed bringing a clinical psychological lens to her illuminating social observations. Check out our first interview here, where we explore the origins of her name and her passion for internet history. Her recent focus has been directed to the phenomena of “AI Psychosis,” which is extremely relevant to my field, clinical psychology. Please Check out our video interview in which she and I analyze this subject from both clinical and cultural lenses. We also discuss her useful and descriptive proposed phenomenon of “Internet Overexposure Syndrome” and how it differs from and overlaps with actual clinical, psychiatric conditions. Let’s dive in. Digital Sophists, Fragile Minds: What “LLM Psychosis” Actually Is The internet didn’t suddenly give us a new disease. It gave us frictionless tools that magnify whatever we bring to them, and a literacy gap big enough to fall through. “It feels the same as someone with low media literacy seeing a barrage of TikToks for the first time. They don’t understand the LLM can be wrong.” —Katherine Dee (01:42) “LLMs are digital sophists; people expect digital philosophers.” —Jeremy Fox (09:34) Below are key, core ideas plus a practical “mental hygiene” toolkit at the end. This is for anyone who cares about how the web reshapes attention, emotion, and identity. Takeaways from the Interview 1) Not a new madness: mostly a literacy + vulnerability story Katherine’s main point lands early: what’s called “LLM psychosis” often looks less like schizophrenia and more like confusion at scale. If you don’t know that a language model will actually invent sources, you can easily be led down a rabbit hole of inaccuracy, especially if you prompt it for verdicts on fraught, personal topics (“Did this writer plagiarize me?”). “Ask ‘Are you sure?’ and the model changes its opinion… It isn’t a neutral tool.” —Dee (02:26) Fox agrees, with a clinical frame: psychosis has heavy genetic loading and well-studied environmental triggers; platforms can accelerate or orbit existing symptoms, but they’re rarely the origin story (Kapur, 2003). “Blaming AI for schizophrenia misses the genetic + environmental story; tech can be a kindling or orbit.” —Fox (03:32–05:40) Translation: Treat models as probabilistic talkers, not oracles. Treat claims of “AI made X happen” the way we treat claims about TV, radio, or TikTok: as force multipliers acting on prior vulnerabilities. 2) The real villain is frictionlessness “The lack of friction makes mental illness accelerate at an exponential level.” —Fox (05:40) Platform design strips out pauses, counter-speech, and human checks. What was once a slow burn (rumination, compulsions) becomes a feedback loop with instant reinforcement. This is the same logic that made micro-rejections on dating apps corrosive: you can be okay with five; you won’t be okay with five hundred (Finkel et al., 2012; Baumeister & Leary, 1995). Dee, on the same terrain, reframes the panic: instead of “you’ll catch a disorder from ChatGPT,” ask how media literacyand guardrails can slow the loop. 3) AI companions are not uniformly dystopian (sometimes they’re harm-reduction) Dee shares a story about a disabled man with an AI girlfriend: for him, the relationship isn’t just romantic; it’s creative and stabilizing, and likely healthier than volatile parasocial attachments to creators (Horton & Wohl, 1956). “Is it more tragic than him being alone… or saving up to see a sex worker once a year?” —Dee (19:55–21:03) Fox pushes the edge case (people high in narcissism/psychopathy might seek human targets rather than being verbally abusive to AI) but both land on a humane middle: safety rails + informed use instead of blanket prohibition. 4) Dating apps → IRL return, and the cost of micro-rejection Dee senses a cultural turn: people mock dating apps now; “return to IRL” feels cool again. Fox adds a clinical layer: “We aren’t built for rejection at scale.” “If it happens to you a bunch, eventually it wears on you and you start to ask questions.” —Dee (26:33) Think of this as developmental trauma by drip: no single event is catastrophic, but the system-level cadence of dismissal can reshape self-beliefs over time (Kross et al., 2013). 5) Internet Overexposure Syndrome: three archetypes, not diagnoses Dee’s signature frame argues that heavy, unbroken internet use produces behavioral archetypes that mimic clinical labels without meeting diagnostic thresholds: * Autist: hyper-fixation, pattern hunger * Schizotypal: connecting distant dots, conspiratorial patterning * Borderline: hyper-vigilance to social signals, abandonment alarms “They aren’t clinically significant, but they have the texture of these disorders.” —Dee (33:08–34:45) Fox plugs this into trauma science: adaptations are functional in context; the problem is gear-shift failure, when online adaptations “bleed” into offline life and won’t turn off. “When you can’t downshift, that’s the problem.” —Fox (34:45–35:35) 6) The Moloch trap and the new literacy divide Fox borrows Scott Alexander’s “Moloch” to name the arms race: opt out of AI and you fall behind; opt in and you accept risk, so you must build resilience and check systems (Alexander, 2014). Dee brings the class angle: thinking as a luxury good. Wealthier households can limit exposure (less iPad-as-babysitter) and teach tools fluently, widening the literacy gap later in school and work (see also Haidt, 2024, on generational screen effects). “Knowing how these tools work is how you protect your mind.” —Dee (14:08) 7) Post-COVID etiquette and the weirdness we feel now Time flattened in 2020, and days lost the markers that make memories stick. Fox notes the research version (sameness harms mood and recall); Dee narrates the lived version (socializing in a dreamlike, empty city). No wonder norms feel bent. The lesson isn’t “phones did it.” The lesson is: social life can’t be optional without deep personal, social cost. 8) After social media: ambient AI “We might end up getting off social media long term and AI will be integrated into our appliances.” —Dee (37:53–38:18) That forecast (less feed, more embedded assistance) fits the vibe shift already underway: IRL as status, feeds as utility, assistants as infrastructure. The mental health challenge will be the same one this conversation keeps naming: literacy, friction, and guardrails. A Mental Hygiene Toolkit for the Extremely Online 1) Treat LLMs as digital sophistsThey’re virtuosos of plausible language, and gifted speakers/writers, not ground truth (Bender et al., 2021). They are committed to providing pleasing, useful answers, rather than truth. Use them to draft, summarize, and brainstorm; verify anything that appears like a spurious fact. 2) Build friction back in * Write prompts offline first. * Add a “cooling timer” before posting. * Turn off infinite scroll in your browser, or route feeds through a daily digest. 3) Guard against micro-rejection overloadBatch your dating/app interactions into limited windows; measure how you feel after that dive into online dating. If your weekly average mood drops, change cadence or channel (Finkel et al., 2012). 4) Distinguish pathology from patternAsk: Is this a stable, offline impairment, or an online, contextual adaptation I can downshift from? If you can’t downshift, get help. Earlier is easier. 5) Parasocial vs. companionIf an AI companion improves mood, routine, or creativity, and you maintain safety rails (no self-harm prompts; no financial exploitation), that can be harm reduction. If it deepens isolation or magical thinking, pull back (Horton & Wohl, 1956). 6) Practice “source flipping”When an LLM makes a claim about a person/event, flip to primary sources or reputable databases. The move isn’t “Are you sure?”; it’s “Show me where that exists.” 7) Restore the offlineSchedule at least one non-instrumental IRL thing per week (no content, no networking, just presence). Rites of passage and shared meals are memory glue. Choice Quotes * “LLMs are digital sophists; people expect digital philosophers.” —Fox (09:34) * “Knowing how these tools work is how you protect your mind.” —Dee (14:08) * “We aren’t built for rejection at scale.” —Fox (26:46) * “They aren’t clinically significant, but they have the texture of these disorders.” —Dee (33:08–34:45) References Alexander, S. (2014). Meditations on Moloch.Bender, E. M., Gebru, T., McMillan-Major, A., & Shmitchell, S. (2021). On the dangers of stochastic parrots: Can language models be too big? Proceedings of FAccT ’21, 610–623.Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529. Dee, K. (2025, March 6). Internet Overexposure Syndrome: A taxonomy of adaptations to online life. Comment Magazine. https://comment.org/internet-overexposure-syndrome/ Dee, K. (2025, June 14). Let’s Talk About ChatGPT‑Induced Spiritual Psychosis. Default Friend (Default.blog). Dee, K. (2025, August 11). The tulpa in your pocket. Default Friend (default.blog). 🏁Finkel, E. J., Eastwick, P. W., Karney, B. R., Reis, H. T., & Sprecher, S. (2012). Online dating: A critical analysis… Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 13(1), 3–66.Haidt, J. (2024). The anxious generation.Horton, D., & Wohl, R. R. (1956). Mass communication and para-social interaction. Psychiatry, 19(3), 215–229.Kapur, S. (2003). Psychosis as a state of aberrant salience. American Journal of Psychiatry, 160(1), 13–23. Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
The Grief We Don’t Name: Exploring Ambiguous Loss and Connection in an Age of Disconnection
2025/06/17
In the latest Substack Live, I had the privilege of speaking with Barri Grant, a grief educator, writer, and group facilitator, about a theme that is as widespread as it is under-discussed: ambiguous loss. From friendship breakdowns to divorce and estrangement, Barri and I explored how grief manifests outside the realm of death, yet remains largely unrecognized, misdiagnosed, or pathologized in our cultural narrative. Check below for an essay based on the conversation, show notes, and timestamps. Thanks for reading Next Level Psychology. Subscribe for free to receive new posts about grief, trauma, anxiety, and many more timely subjects. Naming the Unnamable: Why Non-Death Losses Matter Barri brought into focus something that clinicians and clients alike often sense but don’t always articulate: grief that lacks ritual, recognition, or even a clear name still inhabits the body and mind. Divorce, the slow fading of a friendship, or navigating the distance created by illness or caregiving often evoke profound emotional responses, but they don’t come with casseroles, eulogies, or leave from work. As Barri put it, “We don't name these non-death losses. So we don't make space.” In psychological terms, ambiguous loss (a concept developed by Dr. Pauline Boss) refers to losses that remain unresolved, where a person is either physically absent but psychologically present (e.g., a missing loved one), or physically present but emotionally unavailable (e.g., dementia, estrangement, chronic illness, or relationship fracture). These losses are confounding because there is no closure, no clear ending, no container. The Biology of Grief and Ghosting Our discussion moved toward how ambiguous relational ruptures, such as ghosting, silent estrangements, drawn-out divorces, activate the nervous system. People often experience sympathetic arousal: elevated cortisol, rumination, disrupted sleep, inflammation. Even the dissolution of a once-trusted friendship can trigger physiological dysregulation akin to PTSD. And yet, many clients walk into therapy with vague physical symptoms: panic attacks, migraines, insomnia, and are asked to tick boxes on anxiety and depression inventories, rather than being invited to contextualize their experience within recent or unspoken losses. Barri shared a compelling anecdote: showing up at the ER with shingles during a post-separation period, her stress “wildly” manifesting in her body. The medical intake didn’t ask about emotional upheaval. “So I tell clients now: write it in. Fill it in yourself: ‘I’m going through a divorce.’ ‘My dad is dying.’ We need to say it.” Friendships: When Attachment Isn’t Final Friendship grief holds a particular kind of sting. The person is often still out there, on Instagram, at the same events, maybe even circling mutual friends, and the imagined future now unravels without them. That ambiguity can provoke the protest-despair cycle: yearning for reconnection, anger at the loss, bargaining with the “what ifs.” We discussed how today's friendship culture suffers from an allergy to discomfort. The cultural norm has become avoidance through cutoff rather than renegotiation through communication. We pathologize confrontation. Ghosting becomes self-care. But in many cases, the message being sent is: “I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with this,” not necessarily “You’re toxic.” And for those left behind, that lands as abandonment. Diagnosing the Situation, Not the Self One point I raised was the fluidity of diagnosis. What many therapists see in practice is not chronic mental illness but acute adjustment disorder: grief in response to relational shock. A blindsiding divorce, a friendship’s sudden collapse, or the role reversal of caregiving can destabilize even the most resilient. Diagnostically, this fits, but few intake forms or medical spaces ask about life context. “People don’t even know that situational diagnoses exist,” I noted. “We get stuck in binary thinking: either I’m mentally ill, or I’m fine. But mental health exists on a spectrum.” A Return to Ritual: The Power of Groups Barri’s experience leading grief groups underscores how rituals of community can hold the weight of unspoken grief. Her widows’ group, for example, found unexpected laughter discussing Father’s Day: a blend of release and recognition, of finally being seen. These circles create a fourth space between therapy and everyday life, one where caretakers, divorced parents, and estranged children can speak honestly without the burden of protecting others. I added that for men especially, the mentorship model of groups like AA tends to resonate more than traditional talk therapy, which can seem emotionally performative or shame-based. In group, there’s room to dip in and out, to listen before speaking, to share wisdom rather than extract pity. Humor isn’t a distraction from healing; it’s a conduit. Cultivating Connection in a Culture of Cutoff The most poignant takeaway from our conversation was this: We’re lonelier than ever in an age of unprecedented connectivity. Cutoff culture, endless options, and the commodification of relationships leave us overwhelmed and disoriented. We’re primed to look for red flags, not yellow ones. We don’t know how to disagree without disappearing. As Barri put it, “We haven’t taught people how to be friends.” But the antidote is simple, if not easy: connection and belonging. Whether in a book club, support group, or a 12-minute chat that starts as small talk and turns into something more, we need to create micro-rituals and shared spaces that hold us. “Nobody needs to do this alone,” Barri said, and she’s right. Let’s end with that reminder: If you’re grieving something that doesn’t look like grief, whether friendship loss, divorce, caretaking, estrangement, you still deserve to be held. You still deserve a place to put it down. If you're looking for non-death grief resources, support circles, or therapeutic tools for ambiguous loss, reach out. You're not alone. Keywords sambiguous loss, non-death grief, therapy, relationships, communication, community, emotional expression, support groups, loneliness, healing Takeaways * Ambiguous losses are often overlooked in discussions about grief. * Non-death losses can lead to significant emotional distress. * The complexity of relationships can complicate the grieving process. * Divorce can result in multiple layers of grief, including loss of identity. * Therapy can help individuals process their grief and find coping strategies. * Communication is key in navigating friendships and confrontations. * Generational differences affect how emotions are expressed and managed. * Community and connection are essential for healing from grief. * Support groups provide a safe space for sharing experiences and emotions. * Humor can be a powerful tool in processing grief. SummaryIn this conversation, the speakers delve into the concept of ambiguous losses, particularly focusing on non-death losses such as divorce and friendship breakups. They discuss the emotional complexities associated with these types of grief, emphasizing the importance of naming and acknowledging these feelings. The conversation highlights the role of therapy in processing grief, the challenges of communication in relationships, and the generational differences in emotional expression. The speakers also stress the significance of community and support groups in healing, the need for rituals in grief, and the power of humor as a coping mechanism. Ultimately, they advocate for embracing connection and belonging as essential components of navigating grief. Titles * Navigating the Waters of Ambiguous Loss * The Hidden Grief of Non-Death Losses Sound Bites * "We often overlook ambiguous losses." * "Divorce can result in multiple layers of grief." * "The loneliness epidemic is a growing concern." Chapters 00:00 Understanding Ambiguous Losses 01:48 The Complexity of Non-Death Grief 04:08 Navigating Grief in Relationships 06:10 The Impact of Divorce on Identity 08:28 The Role of Therapy in Grief 10:29 Communication and Confrontation in Friendships 12:17 Generational Differences in Emotional Expression 14:21 The Importance of Community and Connection 16:05 Finding Support in Group Settings 18:07 The Need for Rituals in Grief 20:08 The Power of Humor in Healing 22:24 Building Resilience Through Connection 24:20 Conclusion: Embracing Vulnerability and Belonging Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
The Thunderbolts* and the Gifts of Imperfection
2025/05/27
A Therapeutic Take on Marvel’s Thunderbolts Note: This is a summary of the attached podcast. I recently went live to share why I think Marvel’s Thunderbolts is one of the most powerful entries in the MCU. Unlike the Avengers, this film focuses on imperfect people coming together for a purpose greater than themselves. In this deep dive, I’ll break down how Thunderbolts explores identity, trauma, and the healing power of genuine connection. Why Thunderbolts Matters At its core, Thunderbolts is about developing a new identity in the face of great adversity. These aren’t shining paragons of virtue. They’re flawed individuals—assassins, disgraced heroes, and unstable experiments—who learn to trust one another. By the end, their journey feels more relatable and meaningful than the grand idealism of the original Avengers. From Avengers Optimism to Digital Burnout Back in 2012, when the first Avengers movie hit theaters, we were riding a wave of collective optimism. Superheroes united to save the world, and Tinder had just launched its first version—our first taste of swiping for connection. Fast forward to today, and both our digital tools and our cultural icons have evolved. Marvel’s Thunderbolts feels less like a caped crusade and more like an echo of our own experience with social media fatigue and online dating burnout. The Tinder Era and the Promise of Connection When The Avengers assembled, so did our hopes for tech-enabled togetherness. The film embodied that mid-2010s spirit where apps like Tinder promised instant chemistry and endless possibility. We believed that meeting someone new was only a swipe away and that digital platforms would strengthen our bonds. Over time, though, the sheen wore off. Endless profiles, algorithmic matchmaking, and ghosts in the DM left many of us feeling more isolated than ever. Instead of meaningful connection, we found ourselves locked in a loop of superficial chats and self-comparison. What You Need to Know (And What You Don’t) You don’t need to be a Marvel superfan to enjoy this film. All you need is a passing familiarity with the MCU and the concept of the Avengers as “the real heroes.” Key points: * Yelena Belova is the heart of the film. You may recall her from Black Widow, though her backstory is introduced anew here. * John Walker (the disgraced Captain America) and Ava “Ghost” Starr (from the Ant-Man films) join the cast, but you don’t need prior knowledge of their arcs to follow the story. * Taskmaster appears, but their motives and connections are quickly laid out. * Bob, the mysterious pod-dweller, becomes the linchpin of the plot—his real name and powers are revealed as the story unfolds. Plot in a Bottle Episode The film opens like a classic “bottle episode.” All our antiheroes wake up in a CIA facility, each believing they’ve been summoned to eliminate the others. Director Valentina Fontaine—played with snarky precision by Julia Louis-Dreyfus—wants to tie up loose ends on her secret superhuman program. Naturally, they decide to cooperate rather than kill one another, triggering an escape that turns into a reluctant road trip. Key beats: * Introduction to Yelena – A bored assassin haunted by flashbacks of childhood violence. * The Assembly – Walker, Ghost, Taskmaster, and Yelena realize they’ve been set up to kill each other. * Bob’s Arrival – A seemingly altruistic new ally emerges from a mysterious pod. * The Great Escape – Working together, they flee the incinerating facility. * On the Lam – A gritty, bickering road trip cements their uneasy bond. Themes of Identity and Trauma Every member of the team carries deep wounds: * Yelena Belova – Haunted by her days in the Red Room, she numbs herself with violence and work. * John Walker – His obsession with honor led to a public tragedy and the loss of his mantle. * Ghost (Ava Starr) – A phasing ability born of scientific mishap, her wisecracks mask deeper pain. * Taskmaster – A living avatar of replicating others’ skills, struggling with her own fractured self. * Bob / Void – The ultimate tragic figure, he emerges from government experiments with superpower and raw childhood trauma. Their shared adversity leads to genuine growth. Yelena’s breakdown—“All I do is sit and look at my phone and think of the terrible things I’ve done”—captures the existential malaise many of us feel in our digital age. Gaming the Prisoner’s Dilemma Thunderbolts dramatizes the classic Prisoner’s Dilemma. Alone, each character might survive longer on their own. Together, they stand a better chance of escaping the burning compound. This mirrors real life when we weigh self-interest against collective benefit. Their decision to cooperate highlights the power of trust in overcoming trauma and fear. Thunderbolts as a Mirror of Social Media Fatigue The film’s ragtag team—an assassin, a disgraced hero, a phasing thief, and an unstable experiment—wakes up in a CIA facility, primed to kill each other. They nearly follow the algorithm of mistrust, but then they realize that cooperation might save their lives. That dynamic reflects our online world. Social media platforms often pit us against one another—likes become currency, and every interaction feels transactional. We “compete” for attention, validation, even affection. Yet Thunderbolts shows an alternative path: imperfect people choosing solidarity over rivalry. In the same way that these anti-heroes break free from the facility, we can break free from the endless scroll by choosing genuine human connection. Bob’s Transformation: From Sentry to Void Bob starts as the shining “Sentry” archetype—bulletproof, angelic hair, superstrong. But once he confronts his abusive past, he breaks free from Valentina’s control and becomes Void, a force of nihilism that literally turns people into mist. This descent into darkness evokes Ecclesiastes’ “all is vapor.” By entering Bob’s psyche, Yelena and the team model radical empathy. They confront his inner trauma, guiding him back from the brink. This sequence, where characters literally step into Bob’s mind, stands as one of the most therapeutic moments in superhero cinema. Yelena Belova’s Monologue: The Voice of Burnout Thunderbolts gives voice to that exhaustion through Yelena Belova. Early in the film, she confesses: “All I do is sit and look at my phone and think of all the terrible things I’ve done. Then I go to work and then I drink, come home to no one. Then I sit and think of all the terrible things I’ve done again and again.” This moment captures so much of our digital culture. Scrolling through feeds doesn’t heal our past mistakes or soothe our anxiety. Instead, it amplifies our regrets and leaves us craving real purpose. Yelena’s monologue isn’t just about her life as an assassin—it’s a mirror for anyone who’s ever checked their phone at 3am and felt more empty afterward. Healing Through Connection In a powerful climactic act, the team helps Bob process his childhood abuse. They demonstrate: * Active Listening – Showing up unafraid to engage another’s pain. * Intersubjectivity – Imagining life through someone else’s experience. * Collective Redemption – Each character finds healing by aiding another. This isn’t just a big CGI battle. It’s group therapy on a blockbuster scale. And it works—Bob emerges empowered, the vaporized victims return, and the day is saved. Postmodern Heroes and the Death of Metanarratives Where the Avengers embraced clear moral certainties—truth, justice, American exceptionalism—Thunderbolts revels in gray areas and relativism. The Watchtower (formerly Avengers Tower) now serves marketing rather than heroism. Valentina’s bureaucratic manipulation echoes how modern media platforms exploit our insecurities. The film asks: * What happens when the stories that once united us collapse? * Who do we become without grand ideals to guide us? Rebuilding Real Bonds: The New Avengers By the end, these formerly selfish characters unite to rescue their friend Bob and expose the manipulative system that trapped them. In a meta twist, they’re dubbed the New Avengers—ordinary people who found extraordinary strength in empathy. That renaming feels like a challenge to us. We don’t need perfect profiles or hypercurated feeds. Our real power lies in showing up for each other, even when we’re flawed and burned out. Thunderbolts reminds us that healing starts not with another swipe but with reaching out, listening deeply, and confronting our own “void” of isolation. From Thunderbolts to New Avengers The film closes with a press conference where Valentina is exposed. In a surprising meta twist, she introduces the team as the New Avengers. Sam Wilson (the current Captain America) threatens legal action over the name, teasing future clashes. It’s a fitting end: imperfect allies claiming the mantle of heroism in a fragmented world. Why You’ll Remember Thunderbolts * Relatable Motivations – Trauma, boredom, the hunger for purpose. * Nuanced Villainy – No alien overlords; just a psychopathic bureaucrat and internal voids. * Therapeutic Core – A blockbuster about listening, empathy, and healing. * Postmodern Flair – Deconstruction of grand narratives in favor of human-scale drama. By embracing imperfection, Thunderbolts proves that our flaws can forge the strongest bonds. In an era of digital disconnection, it’s a reminder that genuine connection and shared vulnerability might just save us all. Takeaway: From Swipe Fatigue to Shared Purpose If The Avengers once represented the idealism of swiping right for the perfect match, Thunderbolts represents what happens when that idealism fades. It shows us that survivors of burnout don’t have to go it alone. We can form our own “team” of imperfect allies who choose trust over suspicion and authenticity over image. Next
Resilience through Ritual
2025/05/13
Summary In this conversation, Barri and Jeremy explore the complexities of grief, trauma, and resilience, particularly in relation to significant dates like Mother's Day. They discuss the importance of creating personal rituals to honor lost loved ones and the role of community support in navigating difficult emotions. The dialogue emphasizes the need for flexibility in understanding resilience, moving away from the notion of being 'strong' to embracing a more nuanced, bendy approach to coping with life's challenges. The speakers also highlight the significance of rituals in processing grief and fostering connection with both the past and the present. 1. Reclaiming Hallmark Holidays * Permission to ReframeHolidays like Mother’s Day are “Hallmark” by design—and you get to decide what they mean. Whether that’s gathering with an “Unmothered” community, splitting the day between grief and celebration, or simply ignoring the date altogether, the only rule is: make it work for you. * Plan for the FeelingsAnticipate when memories will hit hardest, then build in social support or distractions (a walk, friends, or faith community) so you don’t get swept away by unprocessed emotions. 2. Rituals as Grief “Tending” * Create Your Own Rites of PassageLighting a candle, leaving stones on a grave, revisiting meaningful places, or even ordering a latte in a loved one’s name—all of these are rituals that transmute stagnant grief-energy into something you actively engage with. * Grief-Tending PracticeSet aside a small daily slot—light a candle, write a note, hum a tune—to consciously “tend” your grief, then close the ritual (blow out the candle, finish the writing) so it doesn’t spill into every moment. 3. Anchoring Positive Memories * EMDR-Style “Safe” BookmarksJust as trauma therapies reconsolidate distressing memories, you can anchor moments of safety, wisdom, or strength (e.g., placing white stones, picking flowers) as positive memory landmarks you can return to when grief or anxiety feels overwhelming. 4. Somatic & Creative Processing * Movement & Body-Brain ConnectionSomatic approaches—dance therapy, trauma-informed yoga, Tai Chi/Qi Gong, breath work—help release the “stuck” energy of trauma and grief. * Writing as MovementIf you’re more cerebral, remember: putting pen to paper is itself a form of somatic “movement.” Whether it’s journaling, essays, or cards, use the page to carry feelings from inside to out. 5. Redefining Resilience * “Stretchiness” vs. StrengthResilience isn’t about lifting heavy weights (being unbreakable) but about the rubber-band quality of bending and bouncing back. Embrace being “bendy,” forward-leaning, and adaptable rather than rigidly “strong.” * Internal Locus of ControlChoosing how you assign meaning—what rituals you perform, how you remember—builds resilience by reinforcing that you influence your own experience. 6. Energy-Blocking & Digital Fasting * Guard Your Mental BandwidthJust as time-blocking protects your schedule, energy-blocking protects your emotional and cognitive capacity. Decide in advance what you can take on, then prevent spill-over of work, anxiety, or grief into all your moments. * Dopamine & Anxiety FastsExperiment with tech fasts—short breaks from notifications or social media—to ride out the initial discomfort (“withdrawal hump”) until you’re free from the cycle of reflexive checking. 7. Community Witnessing * Wisdom ExchangeThere’s nothing like sharing your story and hearing someone else say, “Me too, I get it.” Mutual witnessing dissolves isolation, validates your feelings, and models how to show up authentically for one another. * Cultural Rituals for AllMining traditions from every culture (e.g., the Jewish Kaddish, Yizkor service, memorial candles) can offer ready-made practices or inspire personal adaptations, filling the gap left by our often-rote Western observances. Bottom line: grief and trauma don’t have to overwhelm you. By planning ahead, building rituals, anchoring positive memories, using your body as well as your mind, redefining resilience as “bendiness,” protecting your energy, and leaning on community, you transform passive suffering into active tending—staying fully alive even as you honor what you’ve lost. Takeaways * Life doesn't pause, and neither should our healing. * Creating rituals can help navigate complex emotions. * It's important to honor both grief and joy simultaneously. * Community support plays a crucial role in healing. * Resilience is about being bendy, not just strong. * Rituals can transform grief into meaningful connections. * We can choose how to commemorate our loved ones. * Emotional labor is a shared responsibility in relationships. * Grief can be expressed through various forms, not just words. * Finding ways to move energy through the body is essential. Sound Bites * "Life is in session, man." * "Meet it any old way you want." * "Can we bounce back?" Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Trauma and Resilience 05:01 Navigating Grief and Mother's Day 09:46 Creating Meaningful Memories in Grief 15:03 The Role of Community and Support 19:54 Energy Management and Personal Well-being 28:00 Exploring Alternative Therapies for Grief 31:55 Redefining Resilience in the Face of Grief 38:54 The Importance of Rituals in Grieving 44:47 Creating Personal Rituals for Healing 50:48 Transforming Memories Through Rituals Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
5 Massive Shifts that the Psychotherapy World Needs to Make
2025/04/09
Listen to the podcast or read the transcript for my thoughts on the urgency with which the mental health/psychotherapy worlds must evolve to meet current client needs. “How does that make you feel?” is not enough. Thanks for reading Next Level Psychology. Your support lets me continue my mission for sharing the truths and approaches that take readers into the next level of success in their lives, leaving jargon and unhelpful pseduopsychology behind. summary In this podcast episode, I discuss essential trends that need to be adopted in the mental health field to improve therapy practices. I emphasize the importance of evidence-based approaches, the integration of evolutionary psychology, and the need to address men's mental health issues. I also highlight the significance of transdiagnostic approaches and the role of neuroscience in therapy, while advocating for enhanced online therapeutic contexts to better engage clients in the digital age. takeaways * We need to embrace science in therapy. * Men are half as likely to seek therapy despite high mental health risks. * Therapy should not be perceived as just emoting. * Men need to cultivate hobbies for emotional wellness. * Competency and excellence in therapy are crucial. * Therapists must understand digital communication trends. * ChatGPT can assist in therapy but lacks accountability. * Understanding trending topics is essential for therapists. * Therapy needs to be more empirical and utilitarian. * Developing online mental health competencies is necessary. titles * Revolutionizing Mental Health: Key Trends to Embrace * The Future of Therapy: Evidence-Based Approaches Sound Bites * "We need to embrace science." * "Therapy is not just emoting." * "Competency is not a bad word." Chapters 00:00Psychology Trends in Mental Health 02:09The Importance of Science in Therapy 05:13Understanding Men's Mental Health Needs 10:27The Role of Evolutionary Psychology 15:10Transdiagnostic Approaches in Therapy 17:39Enhancing Online Literacy in Therapy keywords mental health, psychotherapy, evidence-based therapy, evolutionary psychology, men's mental health, transdiagnostic approaches, neuroscience, online therapy, therapy trends, mental health statistics Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
Why psychotherapy Fails, how it can be cringe, and what we can do to fix it
2025/04/03
I like to think my articles and video are not boring. If you agree, please hit that subscribe button like you’re hitting a negative thought. Psychotherapy is a great asset to mental health recovery and the formation of reslience, but it doesn’t land, it is often worse than NO counseling. Let’s dive into why this is, and how we can combat cringe culture of counseling. Check out show notes, the authors of the reserach that I quote, and other resources below, for further reading. summary In this conversation, Jeremy discusses the various reasons why psychotherapy can fail, including mismatches between therapy models and client needs, gender dynamics in therapy, the problem of over-pathologizing normal human emotions, and the importance of action-oriented approaches. He emphasizes the need for therapists to engage actively with clients, the impact of social media on therapy culture, and the potential pitfalls of therapy becoming an identity. Ultimately, he advocates for a more personalized and effective approach to therapy that prioritizes the therapeutic alliance and actionable insights. takeaways * Psychotherapy often has blind spots and overcorrections. * The mismatch between therapy models and client needs can lead to failure. * Men may benefit less from traditional therapy due to socialization. * Over-pathologizing normal emotions can undermine resilience. * Understanding a problem does not guarantee change in behavior. * Therapist burnout can negatively impact therapy effectiveness. * Therapy language can alienate clients and feel disconnected. * Social media can distort the message of therapy. * Therapy should not become a performative identity. * Effective therapy requires a match between method and therapist personality. titles * Why Psychotherapy Fails: A Deep Dive * The Cringe Factor in Therapy Sound Bites * "Not everything's trauma" * "The therapeutic alliance is the treatment" * "Bad therapy is often worse than no therapy" Chapters 00:00Introduction to Psychotherapy Challenges 01:48Understanding Why Psychotherapy Fails 04:26The Gender Gap in Therapy 07:36Over-Pathologizing Normal Human Pain 10:10The Need for Action in Therapy 12:52Therapist Engagement and Burnout 15:30The Cringe Factor in Therapy 17:54Influencer Culture and Therapy 20:24Therapy as Identity 22:55When Therapy Works 25:49Conclusion and Call to Action keywords psychotherapy, therapy failures, gender dynamics, over-pathologizing, action-oriented therapy, therapist burnout, therapy language, social media therapy, therapy identity, influencer therapists References Barry, J. A., John, M., MacLachlan, M., & Walker, S. H. (2016). Gender differences in the outcomes of psychological treatments: A systematic review. Psychology Research and Behavior Management, 9, 179–202. https://doi.org/10.2147/PRBM.S106336 Barry, J. A. (2020). Strengths-based therapy with men: A positive psychology approach to treating male clients. Routledge. Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead. Gotham Books. Ehrenreich, B. (2009). Bright-sided: How the relentless promotion of positive thinking has undermined America. Metropolitan Books. Figley, C. R. (1995). Compassion fatigue: Coping with secondary traumatic stress disorder in those who treat the traumatized. Brunner/Mazel. Foucault, M. (1988). Technologies of the self: A seminar with Michel Foucault (L. H. Martin, H. Gutman, & P. H. Hutton, Eds.). University of Massachusetts Press. Frances, A. (2013). Saving normal: An insider’s revolt against out-of-control psychiatric diagnosis, DSM-5, big pharma, and the medicalization of ordinary life. William Morrow. Gone, J. P. (2010). Psychotherapy and traditional healing for American Indians: Exploring the prospects for therapeutic integration. The Counseling Psychologist, 38(2), 166–235. https://doi.org/10.1177/0011000008330831 Greenberg, L. S. (2002). Emotion-focused therapy: Coaching clients to work through their feelings. American Psychological Association. Haidt, J. (2012). The righteous mind: Why good people are divided by politics and religion. Pantheon Books. Horvath, A. O., & Symonds, B. D. (1991). Relation between working alliance and outcome in psychotherapy: A meta-analysis. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 38(2), 139–149. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-0167.38.2.139 Illouz, E. (2008). Saving the modern soul: Therapy, emotions, and the culture of self-help. University of California Press. Kiesler, D. J. (1996). Contemporary interpersonal theory and research: Personality, psychopathology, and psychotherapy. Wiley. Lasch, C. (1979). The culture of narcissism: American life in an age of diminishing expectations. W. W. Norton. Linehan, M. M. (1993). Cognitive-behavioral treatment of borderline personality disorder. Guilford Press. Lukianoff, G., & Haidt, J. (2018). The coddling of the American mind: How good intentions and bad ideas are setting up a generation for failure. Penguin Press. Maslach, C., Schaufeli, W. B., & Leiter, M. P. (2001). Job burnout. Annual Review of Psychology, 52, 397–422. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.52.1.397 Motulsky, S. L., & Vereen, L. G. (2020). The radical act of listening in psychotherapy. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 60(3), 287–305. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022167817753155 Norcross, J. C., & Wampold, B. E. (2011). Evidence-based therapy relationships: Research conclusions and clinical practices. Psychotherapy, 48(1), 98–102. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022161 Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton & Company. Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1994). The transtheoretical approach: Crossing traditional boundaries of therapy. Krieger Publishing Company. Rimke, H. (2000). Governing citizens through self-help literature. Cultural Studies, 14(1), 61–78. https://doi.org/10.1080/095023800334986 Rogers, C. R. (1961). On becoming a person: A therapist's view of psychotherapy. Houghton Mifflin. Siegel, D. J. (2010). Mindsight: The new science of personal transformation. Bantam. Stolorow, R. D., Atwood, G. E., & Orange, D. M. (2002). Worlds of experience: Interweaving philosophical and clinical dimensions in psychoanalysis. Basic Books. Turkle, S. (2011). Alone together: Why we expect more from technology and less from each other. Basic Books. van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking. Wachtel, P. L. (2008). Relational theory and the practice of psychotherapy. Guilford Press. Wampold, B. E. (2015). How important are the common factors in psychotherapy? An update. World Psychiatry, 14(3), 270–277. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20238 Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
Grief myths and facts
2025/03/18
Have you ever wondered if all grief is trauma? If so, this podcast will be extremely relevant to you. This conversation delves into the complexities of grief, exploring its emotional landscape, the importance of support, and the transformative power of writing. The speakers discuss the differences between typical grief and complicated grief, the significance of communication in supporting those who are grieving, and the myths surrounding grief. They also highlight the healing potential of writing and memory, and how grief can lead to identity transformation. The discussion emphasizes the need for understanding and compassion in navigating grief, as well as the importance of honoring memories. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Grief and Its Complexity 04:29 Navigating Grief: Seeking Help and Support 08:56 The Role of Community in Grief 13:22 Identity Transformation Through Grief 17:19 Myths and Misconceptions About Grief 24:06 Navigating Grief and Remembrance 25:43 The Power of Names in Grief 28:46 Journaling as a Healing Tool 33:34 Finding Joy Amidst Grief 36:38 Understanding Grief vs. Trauma 43:53 The Role of EMDR in Grief Processing Takeaways * Grief is often misunderstood and lacks societal support. * Grief can be both joyful and inspiring if processed correctly. * Seeking help from grief-informed professionals is crucial. * Communication is key; showing up for someone in grief is more important than finding the right words. * Grief can lead to a transformation of identity and values. * There are many myths about grief that need to be dispelled. * Writing can be a powerful tool for processing grief and memory. * Grief is a long-term journey, not a linear process. * Understanding the difference between grief and trauma is essential. * Honoring memories helps keep loved ones alive in our hearts. Thanks for reading Next Level Psychology! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. If you want more conversations about the myths and facts of mental health struggles, please subscribe and share this newsletter with people who you think may benefit. It helps me to spread the word that grief, trauma, and depression need not be the end of someone’s story. Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
The Dangers of Narcissism in Psychotherapy
2025/03/11
Dr. Nathalie Martinek and I have a history of engaging in lively conversation, first starting in 2021 on the Clubhouse app. Her wellspring of knowledge regarding the trajectories and manifestations of narcissistic behavior matched my own passion for mapping the dynamics of human emotion, thoughts, and behavior, and for unmasking harmful myths about various mental illnesses and conditions. We quickly established rapport and volleyed meaningful ideas between one another, whenever we spoke. As such, the podcast you’re about to hear is delivered as a tennis match of ideas between two impassioned professionals, with Nathalie’s expertise taking center stage. Join us as we ask: * What makes psychotherapy good or bad? * How do you avoid falling prey to bad psychotherapy? * How can you recognize the signs of narcissistic leadership in your workplace? * Arguably more importantly, how can you escape, survive and then thrive afterward? * How do institutional structures ruin best intentions and worsen mental health? Please see the timestamps, shownotes, and a takeway summary below, to help in navigating this masterclass of mental health education. 👇 Summary In this conversation, Dr. Nathalie and Jeremy delve into the themes of saviorism and narcissism within the helping professions, particularly in psychotherapy. They discuss the implications of validation in therapeutic settings, the importance of evidence-based practices, and the ethical considerations surrounding the sharing of client stories. The conversation emphasizes the need for therapists to maintain a focus on facilitating change rather than seeking validation from their clients, and the importance of establishing clear expectations in the therapeutic relationship. This conversation delves into the complexities of self-promotion in therapy, the nuances of institutional narcissism, and the challenges of accountability within organizations. The speakers explore how professional identities can shape ethical behavior and the impact of societal norms on personal authenticity. They discuss the cult-like nature of institutions and the erosion of social decorum in contemporary interactions, emphasizing the need for self-awareness and ethical responsibility in professional settings. In this conversation, the speakers explore the transformative power of therapy and coaching, emphasizing the importance of focusing on strengths rather than merely reducing suffering. They discuss the role of authenticity in therapeutic relationships, the complexities of communication, and the impact of societal ideologies on personal growth. The conversation also critiques the charitable industrial complex and differentiates between therapy and coaching, highlighting the need for skilled practitioners who foster genuine change. Timestamps: 00:00 – 01:43 | Setting the Stage: The Narcissism of Psychotherapy & the Savior ComplexKick off with introductions and an intriguing look at how saviorism infiltrates the helping professions. The hosts share why the topic is so timely and outline their personal experiences with the "hero complex." 00:40 Exploring Saviorism and Narcissism in Helping Professions 03:20 The Role of Validation in Therapy 01:43 – 08:34 | Breaking Free from the Savior MentalityHear a candid discussion on overcoming the urge to “fix” others. The speakers reveal how their own journeys of recovery from saviorism inform a more empowering, evidence-based approach to therapy. 06:19 The Dangers of Validation and Dependency 08:34 – 16:26 | Validation in Therapy: When Support Becomes a TrapExplore the double-edged nature of validation. The conversation dives into when acknowledging feelings helps—and when it may simply reinforce dependency or serve as narcissistic supply. 09:02 Challenging the Notion of Validation 11:41 The Importance of Evidence-Based Practices 14:41 Navigating the Therapeutic Relationship 16:26 – 27:37 | Rigor Over Rhetoric: Evidence-Based Practice vs. Ideological PlatitudesThe hosts challenge current trends by urging therapists to ground their work in proven frameworks instead of relying solely on trendy ideologies or empty reassurance. 17:24 The Ethics of Sharing Client Stories 27:37 – 36:48 | Setting Clear Boundaries: Crafting a Collaborative RelationshipDiscover why establishing upfront expectations is key. This segment focuses on negotiating roles in the therapeutic relationship to foster genuine change and shared accountability. 36:48 – 44:27 | The Narcissism Trap: When Validation Feeds the PractitionerA provocative look at how the need for validation can backfire—using client stories for self-promotion may end up reinforcing a therapist’s own narcissistic tendencies, raising serious ethical questions. 42:58 The Importance of Self-Promotion in Therapy 44:23 Understanding Institutional Narcissism 44:27 – 53:37 | Inside Institutional Narcissism: Power, Accountability & the Cult of Self-ImportanceUnpack how narcissistic traits extend beyond individuals into entire institutions. The discussion examines power imbalances, lack of accountability, and the hidden costs of a culture built on self-aggrandizement. 49:40 The Consequences of Institutional Behavior 53:34 The Role of Accountability in Institutions 53:37 – 1:06:39 | Digital Dilemmas: Authenticity, Burnout & the Online ImpactReflect on how digital culture and the erosion of traditional social cues are reshaping authenticity in professional practice. The segment also touches on how these changes contribute to burnout. 55:35 The Impact of Professional Identity on Ethics 57:24 The Cult-like Nature of Institutions 01:03:06 Navigating Authenticity in Professional Settings 1:06:39 – 2:06:43 | Coaching vs. Therapy & the Role of Reflective SupervisionConclude with a deep dive into the differences between coaching and therapy. The speakers discuss the importance of structured, reflective supervision and ongoing feedback as keys to facilitating true, ethical change. 01:11:52 The Erosion of Social Norms and Decorum 01:24:20 Transforming Suffering into Strength 01:28:37 The Role of Authenticity in Therapy 01:33:39 Navigating Relationships and Communication 01:38:05 The Charitable Industrial Complex 01:45:54 Understanding Therapy vs. Coaching Takeaways * Saviorism in therapy can create dependency and disempower clients. * Validation is not always necessary; exploring feelings is more important. * Therapists should focus on evidence-based practices rather than ideology. * The therapeutic relationship should be collaborative, not one-sided. * Sharing client stories for personal gain is unethical. * Therapists must navigate their own needs for validation carefully. * Challenging clients' thinking is essential for growth. * Therapists should establish clear expectations with clients from the start. * The role of the therapist is to facilitate change, not to be a savior. * Ethics in therapy require careful consideration of client confidentiality. Self-promotion can be beneficial for therapists to establish their themes. * Institutional narcissism manifests through a lack of accountability and self-centeredness. * Narcissism can be both personal and institutional, affecting relationships and organizations. * The need for control often drives narcissistic behavior in individuals and institutions. * Accountability is crucial for ethical practices in any organization. * Professional identity can influence ethical decision-making and accountability. * Authenticity in professional settings is complex and often requires adaptation to context. * Social norms and decorum are eroding in contemporary society, impacting interactions. * The online environment fosters a culture of narcissism and callousness. * Self-awareness is essential to navigate the challenges posed by institutional cultures. Focusing on strengths can lead to better outcomes than merely reducing suffering. * Authenticity in therapy is crucial for building trust and rapport. * Clients should be seen as experts in their own lives, with valuable competencies. * Therapists and coaches must work towards empowering clients rather than creating dependency. * Effective communication is key to navigating relationships and fostering growth. * The charitable industrial complex can create dependency rather than empowerment. * Therapy and coaching serve different purposes but share overlapping skills. * Supervision is essential for therapists to reflect on their practice and improve outcomes. * Understanding the motivations behind one's profession is vital for ethical practice. * Clients should be aware of the differences between therapy and coaching to find the right support. Keywords narcissism, psychotherapy, saviorism, validation, institutional narcissism, helping professions, therapy, mental health, evidence-based practice, emotional support, assimilation, cultural matrix, burnout, authenticity, online behavior, narcissism, dating culture, therapy, coaching, social justice Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe
Bad Psychotherapy, Healthcare, and the Question of Value
2025/01/27
Keywords luxury items, healthcare, psychotherapy, insurance, therapy quality, evidence-based practices, mental health, disparities, consumer rights, therapy approaches Summary In this conversation, Jeremy explores the complex relationship between luxury spending and healthcare, particularly focusing on psychotherapy. He discusses the disparities in therapy quality that insurance can create, emphasizing that while some individuals receive effective treatment, others may not, leading to an uneven playing field. Jeremy advocates for the importance of evidence-based practices in therapy to ensure that clients receive the best possible care, and he raises philosophical questions about the value of therapy and its accessibility. Takeaways People prefer to pay for luxury items but not for healthcare. Healthcare should be equally distributed, but therapy complicates this. Different therapists use various approaches for the same condition. Insurance pays for psychotherapy, but quality varies significantly. Some clients receive poor therapy while others get effective treatment. Therapists should specialize rather than be generalists. Evidence-based practices are crucial in therapy. Disparities in treatment can lead to unfair advantages. Most people are unaware of the quality differences in therapy. The conversation about whether therapy should be free is important. Sound Bites "People want to pay for advantage." "It's unfair to the consumer." "Should therapy be free?" Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Value of Therapy 00:50 The Disparity in Psychotherapy Quality 04:37 The Importance of Evidence-Based Practices 07:55 The Need for Systemic Change in Therapy The Big Idea:  Healthcare tends to be something people don't like paying for. We view it as a necessity rather than a luxury, so it often feels unfair when a bill arrives for something that “should” be free. In contrast, consider how willingly most of us pay for cars, designer clothes, premium technology—all the things that give us some sort of advantage or pleasure in life. But what if therapy, despite being tucked under the umbrella of “healthcare,” actually confers a massive advantage like other luxury services do? Get full access to Next Level Psychology at psychfox.substack.com/subscribe

Podcast reviews

Read Sanity and Society podcast reviews


5 out of 5
8 reviews
★★★★★
ninjamooman 2019/12/12
Insightful and engaging
Great to gain inspiration and knowledge
check all reviews on apple podcasts

Podcast sponsorship advertising

Start advertising on Sanity and Society relevant audience podcasts


What do you want to promote?