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It has been said that our brains are our most important sexual organs and, it's true--the meanings that are playing out in our minds either consciously or under the surface have a big impact on our sexual experiences. Meanings that expand our sense of self and make us feel alive (like freedom and choice) increase our desire, while meanings that constrict us (like obligation and shame) shut down our desire and kill any chance of us having a passionate, fulfilling experience. Recently, I joined Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why Podcast to discuss the meanings that keep many of us from fully experiencing the joy of our sexuality and what we can do to shift these common, but problematic meaning frames and create something better. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Reconciling spirituality and sexuality * The importance of freedom and choice * Problematic meaning frames * The art of surrender / receiving For a deeper dive on working through problematic meanings around sexuality, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Enhancing Sexual Intimacy course!

Choosing to love with your whole heart means accepting the risk of disappointment, loss, and grief.  These difficult realities come in many forms throughout a lifetime—unmet expectations, unfulfilled hopes and dreams, shifts in belief, broken promises, illness, and ultimately, death.  Facing acute loss is a harrowing and sobering experience, in part because it wakes us up to just how little control we have over our circumstances. But being compassionate towards ourselves in the process and finding the courage to keep moving forward, even when the path is riddled with uncertainty and vulnerability, is a beautiful form of faith. When we take the disappointment and loss that life hands us and use our difficult experiences to become kinder, more compassionate people, we increase our ability to deeply cherish the good around us, and we increase our capacity for joy.  This NEW episode is the audio from a Q&A session that Dr. Finlayson-Fife hosted on the topic of loss and grief. During the conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife took questions about all different types of losses including miscarriage, death, broken promises, and frustrated expectations. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Intimacy after loss * Mixed-faith marriages  * Intimacy after miscarriage  * Finding the courage to reinvest in life after loss You can watch the full recording of this Q&A session HERE. You can learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's new mini-courses HERE.  

We have a cultural stereotype about masculinity that can often make us blind to the challenges and self-doubt that many men grapple with in regards to their sexuality. While men and women may express their anxieties about sexuality differently, the truth is that men have just as difficult of a time coming to peace with their sexuality as women do.  In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why Podcast for a discussion on masculinity and how our cultural messaging has impacted men’s ability to accept themselves as sexual beings.  Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Sexual shame * Performance anxiety  * Desire discrepancies  * Masturbation and Pornography * Erectile dysfunction * Being tolerated vs. being received sexually * Creating more intimate relationships If you found this episode helpful and want to learn more, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Loving course for men! 

Conflict is a natural outgrowth of two people trying to forge a life together and it presents a remarkable opportunity for growth if we allow it. When we disagree with our spouse, we often go to behaviors that lead to hurt and frustration rather than making a concerted effort to engage often counter-intuitive, but more productive and collaborative responses. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins relationship coach Anne Nelson to discuss how relationships can grow and flourish, even in the face of conflict and difference. Listen to the episode to learn more about: * The losing strategies we instinctively use in our relationships * The growth opportunity provided through conflict in marriage * How to handle differences with greater maturity and wisdom This interview is also available on our YouTube channel HERE. Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Strengthening Your Relationship teaches strategies for growing into deeper integrity, deeper honesty, and deeper courage in your life and relationship. The principles in the course will help you address conflict more constructively and show you how to create a marriage where two people can thrive both together and independently. You can learn more about this marriage-revolutionizing course HERE.

**Join us for the Strengthening Your Relationship WEBINAR! Class starts on Friday, click HERE for your ticket!** Feeling united in marriage is a big deal, and when your worldview has too little overlap with your spouse’s, it can create a sense of loneliness and even despair. The temptation in this scenario is to try to convince your spouse to see things the “right” way (i.e. your way!). But, when we do this, we set ourselves up for a lifelong power struggle and a relationship unlikely to find common ground.   On the other hand, earnestly seeking to understand your spouse’s point of view–how they see the world and why it makes sense to them–is an essential practice. Rather than demand validation of your own beliefs, seeking first to genuinely understand is a powerful skill.  It opens both partners up to deeper understanding of each other and even if there isn’t “agreement” there is at a minimum more ability to work more collaboratively with differing views.  I recently joined Elisa Fucci of the Elisa Fucci Show to discuss how couples can navigate their differences with wisdom and maturity, and how doing so can lead to not only finding common ground in a mixed-faith marriage, but finding higher ground. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: * Creating a collaborative marriage * Losing strategies and how they keep us stuck in frustrating dynamics * The gift of dual perspectives * Staying connected during disagreements * Parenting in a mixed-faith family

🌲**Don't Miss Our CHRISTMAS SALE--Save 20% (OR MORE) on ALL of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's full-length online courses!**🌲 Several weeks ago, Dr. Finlayson-Fife invited Thomas McConkie to join her and Room for Two annual subscribers for an interactive discussion about embodiment, vulnerability, and the power of mindfulness. This week, we are publishing the recording of this rich and meaningful conversation for ALL to enjoy.  Thomas McConkie is an author, developmental researcher, and mindfulness teacher. He is the founder of the Lower Lights School of Wisdom, a supportive and vibrant community focused on adult development and healing divisions through bridging religious/secular divides. Thomas has a passion for the world's Wisdom traditions, was raised as a Latter-day Saint, and has a deep Christian faith infused with nearly 25 years of Buddhist practice.  Thomas's newly released book, At-ONE-Ment, offers a beautiful exploration of ancient and modern approaches to awakening the mind, purifying the heart, and healing the body. You can learn more about Thomas and his work by clicking HERE. If you would like to take part in future live discussions like this one, subscribe to Room for Two today! 

**We have lots of exciting announcements (including 2024 event tickets), read all about them HERE** Egodystonic. Enmeshment. Sense-of-self. Differentiation. These words and the ideas they represent can be unfamiliar and even downright intimidating when you first start listening to Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s podcasts and courses--it can sometimes feel like learning an entirely new language! But, as with learning any new language, the more you immerse yourself by listening and learning, the more clear these transformative concepts will become. In this NEW podcast episode, Sherrae Phelps interviews Dr. Finlayson-Fife about her unique approach to coaching and what sets this approach apart from others. Throughout the episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife breaks down many of the phrases and concepts that are central to differentiation theory and her work, and goes on to discuss why these concepts are so powerful and effective for those looking to grow in their capacity to love.  Whether you are new to her content or have been here a while, this episode is a helpful listen for anyone who wants a more concrete understanding of differentiation theory and the uncomfortable process of human development and relational change.

**Download the Finlayson-Fife App HERE!** As distressing as midlife can feel sometimes, it's a season full of potential. It’s the time when, if all goes well, we start to realize that our attempts to earn our value and prove our lovability to others have been not only been exhausting, but also fruitless. It’s the time when we shift our focus from pleasing others to living in alignment with what we actually believe is best. And as a result, we make greater efforts to live in a way where we can feel at peace with ourselves, our choices, and the impact that our actions have on those around us. When we can see midlife for what it is, a period of soul-stretching and important growth, we will be able to better tolerate the inevitable ups and downs that come along with it. This NEW podcast episode is the recording of a live Q&A that Dr. Finlayson-Fife held for members of her Facebook Community. During the discussion, Dr. Finlayson-Fife took questions from the group about midlife and how we can navigate these often disillusioning middle years with clarity, wisdom, and hope. This conversation is also available on YouTube, you can watch it HERE. 

As parents, we are hardwired to focus on our child’s wellbeing. Early on, this inclination serves our children well but, as they grow, if our relationship with them doesn’t evolve to make room for their emerging autonomy, we will keep them from developing the capacities they need to flourish in adulthood and navigate the increasingly complex world around them. As scary as it is to step back and watch as our children take more ownership of their lives and choices, and as hard as it is to watch their inevitable missteps along the way, doing so is fundamental to their growth and development. In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tom Telford, Liza Telford, and Preston Niederhauser, hosts of the BrainSTOKE podcast, to give parents helpful guidance on how they can be loving, wise mentors as their children stumble through the sometimes turbulent transition into adulthood. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: *  Fostering your child’s capacity to self-author *  Fitting in vs belonging  *  Establishing guardrails for our kids and knowing when and how to adjust those guardrails *  Overcoming resentment about our own lack of self-authoring

**Room for Two HALLOWEEN SALE | Click HERE for $79 subscriptions!** In this special Halloween episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Jeff & Cathy of the LILY POD podcast to discuss why intimacy can be so terrifying, how we can overcome these fears, and the benefits that await those who are courageous enough to really care, know, and understand themselves and others. Jeff & Cathy are co-authors of the Amazon best-seller Intentional Courtship: A Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress, and Pairing Up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Together they founded Love in Later Years (LILY) which serves and supports single adults seeking peace, healing, and more joyful relationships. Jeff and Cathy are both Advanced Certified Life Coaches and each hold Bachelors' degrees in Family & Human Development.

Last month, Dr. Adam Miller joined Dr. Finlayson-Fife and Room for Two subscribers for an interactive discussion about love and loss. The conversation was simply too incredible to keep contained on the Room for Two podcast, so we are releasing it here today on Conversations with Dr. Jennifer for EVERYONE to enjoy. This beautiful exchange of ideas between Dr. Finlayson-Fife and Dr. Miller will change the way you think about love in the best possible way. Dr. Adam Miller is a professor of philosophy at Collin College in McKinney, Texas. He earned a BA in Comparative Literature from Brigham Young University and an MA and PhD in Philosophy from Villanova University. He is the author of over ten books, including “Letters to a Young Mormon”  and “Original Grace”, he serves as the current director of the Mormon Theology seminar. You can learn more about Adam and his work HERE. If you would like to take part in future conversations like this one, consider subscribing to Room for Two! This podcast episode discusses the Zack and Kelly series, found on Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Room for Two podcast. You can listen to a portion of the first episode of the series without a subscription HERE. 

Bumping up against the limits of our time, energy, and resources is one of life’s greatest frustrations. As noble as our intentions and aspirations may be, we all are forced to prioritize how we will spend our finite time and resources in the face of limitless demands and opportunities. Recognizing our personal and professional limitations and being deliberate in the choices we make, allows us to bring our best selves to our careers, families, and lives in general. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Dave and Ashley of the On Call with Dr. Dave podcast to talk through the impact of high-demand careers on relationships and the important role that self-awareness, honest communication, and conscious choosing play in keeping resentment and entitlement at bay. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Collaboration and partnership Important factors to discuss before pursuing a high-demand career while in a relationship Combating entitlement and resentment  Keeping play and eroticism alive in marriage  **Click HERE to learn more about Room for Two!**