Advertise on podcast: How to Get Over Your Ex

How could your ex be completely in love with you one minute and then suddenly act like they want nothing to do with you? If you've been replaying your breakup trying to figure out how they could change their mind so fast, you're not alone in wanting an explanation. But there's something your brain may be doing with that question that is keeping you stuck far longer than you need to be. In this episode, I'm breaking down what may actually be happening when someone seems to "switch up" out of nowhere, why the ending can feel completely different to the person leaving than the person being left, and what to do when you never get an explanation that makes you feel better. Because there is a way to move forward even when part of you is still sitting there thinking, "But HOW did they switch up out of nowhere!?" Join the Beyond Your Breakup Membership to take what you're learning on the podcast and apply it to YOUR life: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/  Extra Resources Referenced in the Episode: Grief bubble - https://dorothyabjohnson.com/2020/02/24/the-grief-bubble/ How to stop feeling on the edge of tears after your breakup - https://dorothyabjohnson.com/2025/09/29/how-to-stop-feeling-on-the-edge-of-tears-after-your-breakup/

How do you get over someone you had an affair with for years, especially when part of you still believes you should have left your marriage for them? If you've been stuck for months or even years, replaying what happened, regretting your decisions, checking for contact, or begging your ex to take you back, this episode is for you. I'm answering a listener's deeply personal question about getting over a long-term affair partner, and we're going straight into the parts of this kind of breakup that can make it feel impossible to let go. There's a reason these relationships can be so hard to detach from, and getting back to the person you were before the affair isn't as simple as "just stop thinking about him." I'm walking through what I would actually work on with you if we were sitting together in a coaching session, including one counterintuitive thing you can do today that may finally start loosening the grip this person has on your mind. Beyond Your Breakup Membership: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/  Submit a Question for the Podcast: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/podcastquestion/

There's a part of you that knows you're supposed to learn to love yourself, take care of yourself, and build a life you love after a breakup… but what if you don't WANT to do all of that? What if, underneath all the "I'm independent and I can do it myself" advice, you're actually thinking, "I don't want to take care of myself. I want someone to take care of ME." I get it. I've felt that way, and in this episode I'm sharing a personal story that completely changed the way I think about what we're actually doing when we learn to take care of ourselves after heartbreak. I teach how to do this work in a way that leads to you being taken care of by OTHERS not just yourself. The Beyond Your Breakup Membership is now OPEN: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/ Submit a Question for the Podcast: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/podcastquestion/

If you've been wondering "What is actually the best way to get over my ex and build a bigger, better life?" I want to make this really simple for you. I've realized I haven't been nearly direct enough about the new way you can work with me, and after getting question after question from listeners, I knew I needed to explain exactly what I created and who it's for. In this episode, I'm breaking down the Beyond Your Breakup Membership and why I designed it differently from anything I've offered before. Whether you're secretly hoping your ex comes back, still obsessing even though you know he isn't right for you, feeling guilty about leaving, trying to repair a marriage after an affair, mostly over your ex but stuck in the final stretch, or completely ready to stop talking about your breakup and start building the life you actually want, there's a reason I believe this is the place to do that work. I'll explain the two steps we're focused on, what makes this different from my original Get Over Your Ex program, and what it actually looks like to have ongoing coaching, support, community, and access to my entire body of work while you build what comes next. If you've been waiting for a sign that there's a more direct way to do this work with me, listen to this episode. Beyond Your Breakup Membership: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/

If you know you don't want your old relationship back but still can't get excited about what comes next, there's a reason: your brain is much more comfortable with what it already knows than a future it has never experienced. Your ex, your old routines, and the life you built together are familiar, while dating again, becoming someone new, or creating a bigger and better life can feel vague, risky, or completely impossible to picture. In this episode, we're getting into the neuroscience behind manifestation and why your brain can actually reject the very things you say you want simply because they're unfamiliar. I'll share some of the ways I've learned to make a future feel more familiar before it arrives, including an exercise that completely changed how one woman thought about what she was trying to create. We'll also talk about why you don't have to make yourself miserable about not having what you want in order to go after it. If you're ready to stop letting your brain default to the life you already know and start creating evidence that a different life is possible, you're going to want to hear this one. Join the NEW Beyond Your Breakup Membership – https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup/

There's a stretch before the comeback even starts that this episode names! The part where you already half-know something's wrong, but you keep it quiet, keep functioning, keep telling yourself it's fine, sometimes for a year or two before the truth actually lands. In this episode, Lindsey Mango joins Dorothy to talk about that exact stretch: the discomfort of sitting on a truth you're not ready to act on yet, and why for her, once that awareness finally clicks, there's no slow unwind — she moves, fast and completely. But what makes this conversation different is what Lindsey does with that turning point once it hits: instead of staying in the wreckage, she has a genuine gift for finding the version of the story that lifts you back up, and she gets specific about how she does it. If you've been sitting in that quiet, unresolved knowing and wondering when it's finally going to move you to act, this conversation shows you both sides of it — the waiting, and the way out that actually feels good. Learn more about Lindsey Mango: Instagram: @lindseymango_ Website: https://lindseymangocoaching.com/  Mango Magic Audio Drops: https://lindseymangocoaching.mykajabi.com/a/2148299474/mcDiUVhh

Why does your breakup feel SO much worse when you're exhausted, burnt out, sick, or running on barely any sleep? You might see one post from your ex, run into him in public, or have one bad interaction and suddenly you're spiraling—questioning everything, obsessing over what he's doing, and wondering why you can't seem to get over him. But what if the problem isn't that you suddenly miss him more? What if your biology is making your breakup feel harder than it actually is? In this episode, I'm breaking down what happens when you try to process heartbreak from a depleted body and why you cannot always trust the thoughts your brain is handing you when you're sick, sleep-deprived, or burnt out. I'll also share the personal protocol I use when I know my body and mind are running on empty—including what I do physically, what I refuse to do mentally, and the rules I follow until I'm back to baseline. This completely changed how I handle those moments when everything feels harder than it should and I think you're going to want to make your own version of it. The NEW Beyond Your Breakup Membership: https://dorothyabjohnson.com/beyondyourbreakup

Most comeback stories start with something breaking — a breakup, a diagnosis, a rug pulled out from under you. But there's a much quieter, harder version: choosing to walk into a comeback when nothing forced your hand. No crisis giving you permission, no one around you validating the hard part, no urgency pulling you forward — just you, deciding to become someone different on purpose. In this episode, Whitney Uland joins Dorothy to unpack why a self-chosen reinvention can feel so much slower and more disorienting than one you were thrust into, even though it's supposedly the "easier" version. Whitney gets specific about what's actually missing when you're building a comeback nobody's making you have, and what she's found that works in its place. If you've ever felt stuck wondering why you can't just decide to change when nothing's technically wrong, this conversation names exactly what's happening — and gives you something to do with it besides waiting for a crisis to make the decision for you. Learn more about Whitney Uland: Instagram: @whitneyuland Website: https://www.howtobefamous.org/

What if your ultimate comeback isn't about becoming a completely new person after heartbreak—but finally becoming the most you you've ever been? After spending seven episodes talking to women who rebuilt their lives after some of the hardest experiences imaginable, I wanted to step back and ask: what actually makes a comeback happen? In this episode, I break down what I've learned from the entire Ultimate Comeback Series and the specific steps I believe take you from the ashes of heartbreak to a life that feels completely different from the one you had before. We'll talk about the part of a comeback that happens before you change anything externally, how to know what you're no longer available for, how to reconnect with the parts of yourself you've buried under other people's expectations, and why your bigger and better life may have less to do with "becoming better" and more to do with coming home to yourself. If you're wondering what your comeback is supposed to look like—or you know you're ready for something bigger but don't know where to start—this is the episode to listen to. Join us inside the Get Over Your Ex monthly membership (starting at $297 a month): https://dorothyabjohnson.com/getoveryourex/

There's a specific kind of stuck that isn't about not knowing — you already know something's wrong. What keeps you frozen is the math of what leaving would cost: the people, the identity, the life you've built around the thing that isn't working anymore. In this episode, Leah Brathwaite talks with Dorothy about the years she spent doing exactly that — staying inside a life, a marriage, and a belief system she'd quietly stopped believing in, because the alternative felt like losing everything and everyone at once. She walks through what it actually took to move from "I know this isn't it" to acting on it, including the moment a single sentence became louder than her fear of the fallout, and why the year she was most terrified of turned out to be nothing like she'd built it up to be in her head. If you've ever known the truth about your situation and stayed anyway because the unknown felt scarier than the misery, this conversation gets specific about what's actually on the other side of that decision. Learn more about Leah Brathwaite: Instagram: @leah.brathwaite 1:1: https://www.thelivefreelifestyle.ca/40-days-of-devotion-the-heart-1-1  Free Soul Collective: https://www.thelivefreelifestyle.ca/free-soul-collective  A new way of life: https://www.amazon.com/New-Way-Life-Transformation-Freeing/dp/199903550X

Have you figured out that your ex is avoidant… only to find yourself thinking about them even more? Maybe you're researching whether avoidants come back, when they start missing an ex, whether no contact works on an avoidant, or what their attachment style says about why they left. Understanding your ex can feel productive, but if every answer leads to another question, the research may actually be keeping you stuck in the breakup instead of helping you get over it. In this episode, I'm showing you how to tell when understanding your ex has crossed over into rumination—and giving you two practical tools to stop using information about your ex to stay attached to them and start using what you know to create actual change for you. Book your free consultation call with Dorothy: www.lifecoachdorothy.com

There's a specific kind of low that doesn't feel like a bad week — it feels like the floor is gone. Your business, your relationship, your sense of who you even are, all collapsing at once, with no clear sign you'll come out the other side. In this episode, Juliana Garcia — entrepreneur, mindset coach, and Dorothy's own personal coach — sits down to talk about the version of her life that most people never see: the point where everything she'd built felt like it was slipping away, and what actually pulled her out of it. Juliana breaks down the specific feeling she credits with getting her through her hardest comebacks (not motivation, not positivity — something with far more staying power), and why the trait people have criticized her for her whole life turned out to be the exact thing that saved her life (literally). If you've ever hit a low that made you question everything, this conversation gives you a completely different way to hold that moment — and what to do with it instead of waiting for it to pass. Trigger Warning: This episode includes an open discussion of suicidal ideation during a mental health low point. Listener discretion advised. Learn more about Juliana Garcia: Instagram: @itsjulianagarcia Website: https://www.julianagarcia.com/

Have you ever looked around at your life and thought, "How did I end up here?" Not because your life is bad, but because it no longer feels like you. In this episode, I share what happened after implementing the three decisions I talked about a few weeks ago—and why they've created more momentum, clarity, and alignment than I thought possible. We dive into the surprising pattern I discovered: every area of your life either begins to expand or naturally falls away once you start making decisions from alignment instead of obligation. We also talk about why letting go can feel so uncomfortable, how to loosen your attachment before you make a big change, and what to do when doubt shows up after you've already committed to a new direction. If you've been feeling stuck, disconnected from your own life, or like you've outgrown the version of yourself you've been living, this episode will give you a completely different way to think about your next chapter. Consultation call: www.lifecoachdorothy.com   Ep. 353: 3 decisions that changed my life in 24 hours

There's a moment in almost every comeback that we forget about: the relapse. The week your ex resurfaces and you're back checking his Instagram at 1am. The wave of spiraling that convinces you you're regressing, not healing. In this episode, author (and world explorer) Gabrielle Stone joins Dorothy to break down why that backslide is actually a predictable part of the process, not proof you're doing it wrong. Gabrielle explains the tool she uses to catch a thought spiral before it hijacks her day and what she did instead of gripping for control every time her life fell apart right before a major shift. If you've ever felt like you were three steps forward and ten steps back, this conversation names exactly what's happening in that moment — and what to do instead. Learn more about Gabrielle Stone: Instagram: @gabriellestone Tiktok: @gabrielle_stone  Books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B07T9H6D58   Website: https://www.eatprayfml.com/

If you're wondering where you're actually supposed to meet commitment-ready men—or why you keep ending up with people who aren't looking for the same future you are—this episode is for you. Today we're shifting from getting over your ex to building a life that makes finding the right partner possible. Dating expert Torah's 2 Cents joins me to challenge some of the biggest assumptions women have about dating and shares practical ways to create a roster of emotionally available, relationship-minded men without relying on luck. We talk about where to meet them, how to think differently about dating, and the subtle shifts that can completely change the quality of the people you're attracting. If you're ready to stop wondering whether your person exists and start dating with more confidence, clarity, and intention, this conversation is one you won't want to miss. Learn more about Torah: Instagram: @torahcents Website: https://www.curved2cuffed.com/