Advertise on podcast: Heart & Soul

What Is A Wellness Journal  [Cold Open] Bernadette: I always try to end one of my entries with love. Why do I care about them so much and what has made me so angry? And then why do I still love this person so much?  McGill: With every writing session let me write something that actually matters to me. Let me write something that I will actually benefit from. Brother Donald: Keeping a record of what we go through in our daily life and trying to, not only assess, but work to improve. Well, all the more when it comes to our service to God and utilizing his teachings wisely. [Heart and Soul Introduction]  Gretchen: You're listening to Heart and Soul, a podcast from the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ). I'm one of your hosts, Gretchen Asuncion. And it's here where we have real conversations with friends who are helping each other reach the best Christian version of themselves. This is Heart and Soul. Gretchen: Hey, everyone! It's Gretchen. With me today are our hosts, Bernadette. Hey, Bernadette.  Bernadette: Hi Gretchen! How are you?  Gretchen: I am good. Staying warm or trying to at least. How are you? Bernadette: I’m alright. Gretchen: Also we have McGill. Hi, McGill. How are you today? McGill: I am pretty good. I feel good. I hope you feel good as well Gretchen.  Gretchen: I do. Thank you. Thank you. McGill: Awesome. Awesome. Gretchen: And of course, we have a minister of the Gospel. Brother Donald Pinnock. Hello, Brother Donald, thank you so much for joining us.  Brother Donald: Hi, Gretchen, Bernadette and McGill. I'm very very happy to be with you right now. Gretchen: Awesome. Now, before I start here, I know many of us take notes during worship service. So why do we take notes during worship service? Is it something that inspires us, especially with the verses? You know, how is it that we give importance as we take notes during the worship service? McGill: Personally, what I think the the nice benefits of taking notes during worship service is that it's a nice reminder, right? With notes, it's a nice reminder about everything that really happened during the worship service. And then you could reflect on your day-to-day if it if there's anything that you can learn from or to improve yourself as a person. Bernadette: For myself, when I take notes for the worship service, I take the overall idea and the verses that I could remember, and I put it on paper, and then I compare it to my week. And then I try to look for what is God trying to tell me in the lesson. Gretchen: Awesome. Well, I do take notes as well. So kind of helps me,  kind of conclude exactly what the worship service is. And they really do inspire me. So today we're going to talk about wellness journals and their value in keeping track of and giving importance to the words of God we regularly receive. What is a wellness journal? And how do we start? And is it in line with what God wants for us? So with that, do you guys know what a wellness journal is? I guess, like how could you when you hear the term wellness journal? What is your definition of it? McGill: Oh, well, this is the first time I've really heard that a wellness journal is actually a thing. But based on what it sounds like, it sounds like a diary or a journal that you probably just write down your feelings or stuff to keep track of how your day is going or just to keep track of like how are you doing in your life?

The Phone Addiction You Didn't Know You Had [Music] Shannon: You had 11 hours of – maybe even more – of social media time!  McGill: I think the main culprit of my screen time on the social media is being on call with my friends. Gretchen: I'm doing… I'm going to post this right now. Like, I need to take this picture to post it now. Shannon: Trying to create this life online cannot encompass the entirety of who we are, especially as Christians! Gretchen: Well, I had to put an app limit with some apps where it has to lock me out!  Brother Michael: But it can also distract us. We use our devices also for entertainment. But then again there are real life matters that we need to attend to. [Show intro] Shannon Santamaria: You're listening to Heart and Soul, a podcast from the Iglesia Ni Cristo, Church Of Christ. I'm one of your hosts, Shannon Santamaria, and it's here where we have real conversations with friends who are helping each other reach the best Christian version of themselves. This is Heart and Soul. [Music] Shannon: Welcome to the INC Heart and Soul. And with me today is McGill. Hey, McGill!  McGill Onate: Hey, Shannon. How are you?  Shannon: I'm doing good. How are you? McGill: I'm great. I'm great. Shannon: And another host with me today is Gretchen. Hey, Gretch! Gretchen Asunsion: Hey! Hello, hello! Shannon: And today we are going to talk about being glued to our screens. Well, let's get right to it! So, I'm super excited to talk about this episode today, because it is definitely a discussion that I have with you guys, and I know that it's a discussion that everybody has! And before we get into talking about, you know, phone screens and being addicted to our phones, I want to introduce the hosts with a little icebreaker. You know, we're here on um INC Heart and Soul. Does our podcast count as screen time? McGill: Well, when I think about it, initially, yeah, I think it counts as screen time. I mean, I know this is just audio for the ones listening here today, but when we're recording, we are using a screen, so yeah, I guess it does count as screen time since we are looking into a screen. But I don't know. What do you think, Gretchen? Gretchen: Um, yeah! I would have to agree that it would be screen time, but I wouldn't take it as a negative type of screen time. We're all enjoying each other's time, and here we are going to talk about a great topic that I'm sure everyone can relate to.  Shannon: Right. And you know, I also wanted to introduce a minister of the gospel, Brother Michael Guerrero. Hi, Brother Michael!  Brother Michael Guerrero: Hi, everyone. How are you guys doing? Shannon: We're doing good. I actually wanted to ask you as well, is this podcast part of using your screen time?  Brother Michael: I think for us, yes, because like what was mentioned by Brother McGill earlier, we are using our screens and maybe for the people listening, maybe they're listening also on, you know, a mobile device or something. And what's nice though, about this is that they don't have to technically look at the screen, right? They just have to be logged in. So, I would agree with Sister Gretchen that, yes, this is a little bit of screen time, but in a good way! And we'll get to that in a little while. Shannon: Right. I know that, you know, this podcast is kind of in that gray area when it comes to screen time. Later, we're going to be talking about screen time, and we didn't have cell phones, you know, when the Bible was made, so it's exciting to kind of hear what the Bible has to say all about that. I know for one thing, I start panicking when I can't find my phone, or if I'm rushing and I forget to charge it before it dies, or I forget it somewhere and I'm trying to find it before I leave.

Recognize Burnout Before Burning Out: Part 2 McGill Onate: There were times I don’t know what to do. Gretchen Asuncion: So, that time that you have dedicated with God, it kind of helps you realign what your priorities are and God is there to listen.  Brother Richie Juatco:  A life without God and a life with God are complete opposites. That is the reason why having God in our life makes all the difference. [Show intro]  Shannon Santamaria: You're listening to Heart and Soul, a podcast from the Iglesia Ni Cristo (Church Of Christ). I'm one of your hosts, Shannon Santamaria, and it's here where we have real conversations with friends who are helping each other reach the best Christian version of themselves. This is Heart and Soul.  [Music]  Shannon: Welcome back everyone to our episode on burnout. This is a continuation of our last episode and we are going to pick back up right from where we left off. We hope everyone listening in will be able to learn more about dealing with burnout and be guided by the words of God. Shannon: Looking back and talking about burnout with you guys has been a lot more reflective of why we have them. Maybe it's so that I can lessen the amount of burnouts in the future. And if I haven't experienced it yet, or maybe, like McGill hasn’t experienced it, I wanted to ask you, you know, if you haven't experienced it yet, how can we help someone who is experiencing it? Maybe that's a thought that I want to put in your guys' minds, because feeling burnout might not happen to you, but it does definitely happen to people around you. McGill, have you ever helped someone who was experiencing extreme exhaustion or who wanted to feel like giving up? McGill: I think I definitely encountered a couple of my friends, brethren in the Church, that have experienced burnout and that sort of exhaustion, of not not wanting to work, but just can't work because it's just really hard for them. Usually if it does come to that situation where they do ask for help or they're in need of help, I would just chill with them, be in their presence and just do something that they enjoy to do. So, if they enjoy playing video games, I'll hop on a game with them and just chill and vibe and just allow all the stress to just freely flow. And just… because, you know, if you're stressed—I'm pretty sure this can apply to a lot of us—if you're stressed, do something that you love. And so whether it's playing video games, going to the gym, I think what's really nice and this definitely works for me if I'm sad or if I'm exhausted, just being with the people that you love, I think that's just, just great. Just being in the company, even if you're not doing anything, even if you're just on call with someone, even if you're just chilling on your phone and you guys are just in the same room, I love that!  Shannon: Like, right now. McGill: Yeah! Just right now! You know? We do this podcast, it's not only to just talk about how to help ourselves, but hey, I'm having a good time and I hope you guys are having a good time, too. Shannon: I know, McGill, I'm having a great time with you guys here.  Shannon: So, Gretchen, how do you help out a friend who is experiencing burnout or who has experienced it? What are some ways that you helped them?  Gretchen: I think, number one, if they find the time or… trust, right? Where they're like, okay, I need to confide in you. Um, it's actually very timely. It's more of like, okay, so how are you feeling? Like, what are you feeling right now? What's causing you to feel this burnout? So, kind of have them kind of focus on like, wait, okay, reality check. Like, why am I feeling this way? And then kind of offer like how can I help? Like, what is it that you need me to do? I've been asked that before, of: do you need me to listen or do you need a response? And I think that’s the…

Recognize Burnout Before Burning Out: Part 1 Gretchen Asuncion: Then it kind of blows up in your face of, oh, did I take on too much or I missed something.  McGill Onate: There's a lot of different things that I'm, like learning throughout this entire conversation, so hopefully you guys can enlighten me and stuff like that.  Brother Richie Juatco: There's actually a condition that God is waiting for, so that He can give that strength. What is that?  [Show intro]  Shannon Santamaria: You're listening to Heart and Soul, a podcast from the Iglesia Ni Cristo Church Of Christ. I'm one of your hosts, Shannon Santamaria, and it's here where we have real conversations with friends who are helping each other reach the best Christian version of themselves. This is Heart and Soul.  [Show Open] Shannon: Hey guys! Welcome to Heart and Soul! And with me today are my hosts, Gretchen. Hey, Gretchen!  Gretchen: Hello, hello!  Shannon: Welcome back! And McGill. Hey, McGill!  McGill: Hey, Shannon! What's up, everyone? Shannon: It's good. It's nice to see you here today with me. And with us is a minister of the Gospel, Brother Richie Juatco. Hi, Brother!  Brother Richie: How are you? How are you, Shannon? Gretchen? McGill? Very nice to be with you guys! McGill: Good, good! How are you? Brother Richie: I'm very good. I’m very good. Thank you for asking!  McGill: Oh, of course. Shannon: It is so nice for all of you guys to be joining me today. I actually wanted to talk about what a lot of people have been feeling lately and that's burnout. I know, before we met, I was talking with you guys a little bit about burnout, just a casual conversation. And I thought, why not bring it to Heart and Soul and, you know, be guided by the words of God? I actually spoke to one of our friends, Dr. Sydney Fontanares. Just a refresher: Dr. Sydney is a clinical psychologist in the San Francisco Bay Area and a Church Of Christ member. She's been on our show a couple of times already, and I reached out to her about burnout. Now, here's what she had to say:  [Phone ringing]  [Phone conversation with Dr. Sydney begins]  Shannon: Hey, Dr. Sydney!  Dr. Sydney: Hi. Hello. Hi, Shannon. How are you? Shannon: I'm good. I'm so glad you were able to make this phone call with me.  Dr. Sydney: For sure.  Shannon: I know that our podcast is actually talking about burnout and experiencing burnout, and I have a couple of questions for you. Are you free? Dr. Sydney: Yes! I am. Shannon: Okay, awesome. So I wanted to ask, what is the clinical definition of burnout? Dr. Sydney: Sure. So according to the Mayo Clinic, it's a state of physical or emotional exhaustion that also involves a sense of reduced accomplishment and a loss of personal identity. So kind of to, if you don't mind, Shannon, if I could break that down?  Shannon: Yeah, definitely!  Dr. Sydney: You know, there are, you know, when you're working, there is a normal response to feeling stressed or tired, and usually if we take a nap or do something to take care of ourselves, we can bounce back. But with what we're seeing with people who experience burnout, they're having a little bit more difficulty in doing this. And then not only are they having difficulty with bouncing back at work, but also it's starting to affect different aspects of their life, including outside of work. Shannon: Oh, wow.  Dr. Sydney: Yeah, yeah. It's kind of, what we call it, I'm not exactly sure what we call it, but it kind of sneaks up on you actually, and you don't quickly, you know, see it coming. We call it, what is it? 20/20? Hindsight is 20/20.  Shannon: Shannon: Right.  Dr. Sydney: And then you look back and you're like, oh, man, I was burnt out this entire time, and that’s why it… m-hmm? 

It’s Okay to Ask for Help Brother Solo Figueroa: Though we were weak at the time, though we may have been confused at that time. But when we made that prayer and we really ask God for that help, that specific help that we were looking for. He provided for us, right? Shannon Santamaria: You know, Brother Solo you put it best asking for help from Him. And I think all of us can really take that advice and run with it, because it's the best kind of advice. [Music] Shannon: You’re listening to Heart And Soul, a podcast from the Iglesia Ni Cristo Church Of Christ. I’m one of your hosts, Shannon Santamaria, and it’s here where we have real conversations with friends who are helping each other reach the best version of themselves. This is Heart and Soul. [Show intro] Shannon: Hey, everyone, it's Shannon. And today I want to talk about how to effectively ask for help. And with me today, our host, Gretchen. Hey, Gretchen. Gretchen Asuncion: Hey.  Shannon: Nice to see you again. Gretchen: Same to you Shannon: And hey, McGill. McGill Onate: What's up, Shannon? Shannon: Hey. And of course, with us is the Minister of the Gospel Brothers Solo. Hi, Brother Solo. Brother Solo: Hi sister Shannon. Hi, everyone. Thank you for having me. Shannon: I'm so glad you're here with us. And I feel like you are the perfect person to ask for help in this podcast. Actually, you know I've actually had a lot of advice and I've openly asked for your help Brother Solo. Asking for help is a difficult thing to do because, you know, there are a lot of insecurities and maybe even, you know, I guess, vulnerability when it comes to asking for help, right Gretchen? Gretchen: Yeah, definitely. It can sometimes be seen as a weakness because we are all empowered to be able to do it on our own. Shannon: Right. Now McGill I want to know if you've ever had a moment where you, you know, struggled with asking for help, you know, whether it was in public or whether you were scared to ask for help from a friend. I know I've had my fair share of moments. McGill: I'm 100% guilty of that. Like, I mean, I probably still am guilty about that today. You know, a lot of my mindset around nowadays is that I can do everything on my own. I'm okay. I'm strong. I don't really need another one's help. Or if I am going through problems, I can do things generally on my own. But I know thinking like that nowadays isn't the best way to think about things. But yeah, I've definitely been guilty about not asking for help when I definitely do need it.   Shannon: I know I remember I would keep things to myself because I thought, you know, asking for help isn't like—what you said, it wasn't the best option to do so. But, you know, I think when it comes to asking for help, it's also a sign of strength. I don't know if you guys would agree. McGill: Yeah, no, I definitely agree with that because, going through my day-to-day life, I've noticed that it actually does take a lot of strength to ask to reach out. I know some of my other friends at Church, they have trouble reaching out and asking for help. It does take some strength. It does take—because you need to make yourself vulnerable, right? In that situation, you have a problem going on and then reaching out and exposing these problems does make you vulnerable. Some people aren't comfortable with that, including myself. So yeah, it does take a lot of strength to actually do reach out to and ask for help. Gretchen: But then there's a benefit in asking for help. You get that it almost alleviates whatever burden that help that you're asking for and knowing, you know, the ones that you could ask help from. 

4 Things You Need to Build Healthy Habits Brother Michael: For me, this is inspiration. And that is a really good habit that every member of the Church Of Christ should really build on.  Shannon Santamaria: You're just you're just dropping all the best advice right now. I guess, you know, when it comes to creating healthy habits, it's supposed to benefit us and I guess what better way for something to benefit us when it's spiritual.   [Show Open] Shannon: You’re listening to Heart And Soul, a podcast from the Iglesia Ni Cristo Church of Christ. I’m one of your hosts, Shannon Santamaria, and it’s here where we have real conversations with friends who are helping each other reach the best version of themselves. This is Heart And Soul. [Show Open] Shannon: Hey everyone! It's Shannon here, and we're opening up the new season with a series concerning self-care. And to start it off we wanted to talk about building healthy habits. In fact, I have a surprise for our listeners. This new season also comes with new hosts! And a few of the new hosts with me today are coming from across America. Camille Peralta who’s from New Jersey all the way on the east coast and Gretchen Asuncion who’s from Minnesota in the Northern Midwest and I’m here in California. These two are dear friends of mine and I’ve had so many wholesome conversations with them. I figured why not have them share their stories with you guys on Heart and Soul.  So I'm so excited because this is your first episode on Heart and Soul, and you guys are one of the main hosts now! How do you guys feel? Gretchen Asuncion: Excited!  Camille Peralta: Yeah. Gretchen: Excited to be here!  Camille: Ecstatic. Can't wait to have these meaningful conversations with you guys. Shannon: And, you know, I guess I'm building that habit with you guys to have these, you know, meaningful conversations here on Heart and Soul. So, I actually wanted to also introduce someone else who is with us, and that's a minister of the gospel, Brother Michael Guerrero. Hello! How are you? Brother Michael: Hello, everyone! I'm doing well. Shannon: You know, when it comes to building healthy habits, there are a lot of areas to explore, a lot of things to look into, and I think it's a lot to take in. But I think the best way to kick start the episode is asking what the Bible says. I want to get right into it because I know that these conversations are always spiritually guided, right Brother Michael?  Brother Michael: That is true. And so the verse that I'm going to read is 1 Thessalonians, chapter 5, verse 23, which states: “May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  [2 Thessalonians 5:23 New Revised Standard Version]  Shannon: So, Brother, I guess, what I wanted to ask is that, you know, when it comes to this verse, is that a certain mindset that we should go into when it comes to self-care?  Brother Michael: Yes. You know, in fact, when it comes to what is mentioned in this verse, it isn't just our physical body that is being mentioned that we should take care of. Because when we talk about self-care, it can mean a lot of things. Building healthy habits can also be a lot of things, or mean different things to different people. And in this verse, it talks about our spirit, our soul, and our body, right? So, these are all things that we should, especially as members of the Church Of Christ, always think about and take care of, because we use all of these things in our service to God. Shannon: You know, I think I really wanted to open up this episode with new hosts and a verse right o...

Martin Zerrudo: Hey everyone, we’re back with a REWIND episode. And this conversation is a real treat because I’m joined by our Former Co-Host, Lois Paula, and Brother Jojo Bayani, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. We asked Brother Jojo all sorts of questions about navigating our friendships. You know, this episode was recorded a few years back, but there’s a lot of useful advice here—I definitely learned a lot from this conversation—and of course, got some spiritual guidance on how to be a good friend, and the kind of friendships that we should have in our life. Here’s that conversation.[Music] Martin Zerrudo: Question number one: when it comes to courting, do we put guys before our potential one that we're going to go for? Or do we put our girls before the one that we're going to go for? Krystal, what are your thoughts? If you were going to go for somebody and you knew that a friend of yours had feelings for them, is that ok? How do you navigate that situation?Krystal Quarles: I would personally talk to my friend and ask ‘Hey, is this ok?’ But I've been on the other side and I've seen some of my friends really, really happy and that's ok too. That's totally fine.Lois: I mean, Martin and Lenner, we asked about like, you know I'm talking about you're in a relationship and your friends need you. Your boys need you, or you want to have a guys’ night…Martin: Oh, man. I've had this conversation with Erica many times, where it's just like, for me, the time that I've devoted to my friends, that's time for them. And then the time that I've devoted to you, as my girlfriend, that's time for you. And I don't want to mix and match and make the other person or make you feel like that time is… is negotiable, you know? If there has to be adjustments, then that's fine, you have to adapt. But if I've given this time to Erica, then that's my time with her. Like, I'm going to give you 110% of my attention. But then if it's a guy's night and we needed to chill, then it's like, that's my time with them. Like, they also deserve my 110% affection as my friends and attention as well. I don't know Lenner, am I crazy?Lenner Sese: No, no. Not crazy at all. At the same time, on my part, I'm understanding as well. Out of our group of friends I'm the only single guy. So I know you guys have obligations to your girlfriends.Lois: Is there anything, any guidance in the Bible about who or what we should choose over what? If we are wrong in choosing one or the other? Is there anything — any guidance that you can give unto us, so that we can make the right decisions if we are presented with that challenge in the future?Brother Jojo Bayani: Sure, Sister LP. As we mentioned in part one, I'll use the same verse. It's 1 Corinthians 15:33 of the Expanded version of the Bible, it's:Do not be ·fooled [deceived; misled]: “Bad·friends [company] will ruin good ·habits [or character; morals; [1 Corinthians 15:33 Expanded Bible]Brother Jojo: I think the one of the best and one of the main guidelines that we should have in choosing our friends is to make sure that kind of friendship is based on how we should be living our lives, in accordance to the teachings of God. And how do you know when one is either a bad friend or a good friend? Well, the Bible says bad friends will indeed ruin good character, morals, [and] good habits. And we can translate – simply translate – habits or character or morals to what we've learned. Let that be our measurement stick in basing the kind of friendships that we have with members of the Church Of Christ and even those who are not members of the Church Of Christ. I remember when I was younger I had wonderful friends who didn't share the same be...

Heart And Soul - Making Friends Martin Zerrudo: You’re listening to Heart and Soul. A podcast from the Iglesia Ni Cristo, Church Of Christ. I’m your host Martin Zerrudo.  [Show Open] Martin Zerrudo: With me again is my co-host, Shannon. Hey, Shannon! Shannon Santamaria: Hi, Martin! I'm so happy to be here. Martin: So let's dive right into our episode today. Today, we're talking about friends. Now, I know you can relate, Shannon, the pandemic has definitely changed how we socialize, especially those socially distancing mandates and wearing masks and a lot of different restrictions that we had to experience both here in Toronto and over there on the West Coast. Shannon Santamaria: That's right. I mean, some and even today use masks as a fashion statement because of the mandates. And it just makes us feel safer. But before that—well, I mean, what did you do before the pandemic to, you know, hang out with your friends, Martin? I kind of want to see how fun it was to look back and to see how back and to see how things are now. Martin: Back in the day? Shannon: Yeah. Martin: Oh, definitely. In my mid to late teens, it was all about hanging out at different people's houses, playing games, playing sports, watching TV. And then in my early to mid twenties, it was honestly being active in a lot of different Church activities. Interacting with different officers, doing visitations across not only Canada but also in the North Eastern part of the United States. And then a little bit later into my twenties and early thirties, it was really just, making your circle a little bit smaller and just having, dinner, you know, talking over coffee or bubble tea and and just, slowing down, not always going out so often and spending more quality time with a closer knit group of people, for sure. How about you? Shannon: Yeah, I think before the pandemic, definitely before 2020. I don't necessarily even remember being at home all that much. I was always out, whether it was experiencing a new event or going to a sports event or hanging out with friends or just, enjoying my time, being in person with them. And I think you made a good reference about how, you know, the way you hang out kind of changes over time. Martin: Absolutely. You know, it's really interesting to think about how much things changed from then to now, not only in the differences in our generation, the differences in the age group that you're in as you get older. But a big thing that has remained consistent despite all of these changes for me, at least, in maintaining my friendships, is that I do occasionally, you know, interact with my friends online, whether it's playing video games, whether it's discussing movies and TV shows. The ability to connect on the internet has really been a significant means to to maintain these friendships across a wide variety of different activities. What about you Shannon? I know you're super active on social media. Shannon: I know! I’m guilty as charged, right. I think the pandemic really accelerated my use on social media. A lot of the time I'm making friends on social media and making friends with, you know, other members of the Church Of Christ who I haven't met yet or that I'm excited to meet. There's also some, you know,

Heart And Soul - Self-Care Martin Zerrudo: You are listening to Heart and Soul. A podcast from the Iglesia Ni Cristo, Church Of Christ. I’m your host Martin Zerrudo, and I’ll be interviewing young adults from across the world. Who are living Christian lives, but are also dealing with real-world problems. This is Heart and Soul. [Show Open] Martin: Hi everyone! It’s so good to be back for another season of Heart and Soul. And wherever you are right now, as you listen to our first episode of this season, I hope you and your family are healthy and safe. Like I said, this is the first episode of this season, and we have a lot of new and exciting things that we want to introduce to you throughout the season. But one of the new changes is that I’m very happy to announce that sitting virtually beside me, in another part of the world, is Shannon Santamaria, the new co-host here at Heart and Soul. Hi Shannon!Shannon Santamaria: Hi Martin! I’m happy to be here! Martin: Super excited to have you join the show. What are you looking forward to most about being a part of the show?Shannon: The genuine conversations we’re going to be having today. I think these kinds of conversations are timeless and always serve as a memory to look back to.  Martin: Couldn’t have said it better myself. So, let’s dive right into our episode for today. We’re talking about self-care. What is it? Why should we make time for self-care and what does self-care as a Christian look like? Now, the term self-care is so much more popular now than it has ever been a few years ago and may even be more practiced in certain parts of the world. But I wanted to share this definition that I found on everydayhealth.com: Self-care means taking care of yourself so that you can be healthy, you can be well, you can do your job, you can help and care for others, and you can do all the things you need to and want to accomplish in a day. [Source: everydayhealth.com] Martin: Now when we talk about self-care, what does that look like for you, Shannon?  Shannon: That’s a hard question! I can’t really define self-care except to provide myself the needs that it needs at that given moment or you know what I’ve been lacking lately in life. Whether it’s taking time for myself, going on a walk, or just meditating before prayer. Martin: Right. Shannon: Those are really important for self-care. Martin: Definitely. For myself, I guess self-care is having lunch with my wife, making sure we don’t lose our synchronicity when watching a show, because we have to watch it at the same time, going outside on the balcony breathing in some fresh air, and just kind of not feeling bad about taking a little bit of time for yourself throughout the day. But on a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate yourself in terms of your self-care game?  Shannon: Oh man. My self-care game is like a solid 4. What about yours?Martin: I’m coming in at a solid 2.5. Shannon: I mean we do live both very stressful and very busy lives. I mean everyone does. Martin: Right. Shannon: Especially now, you know, post pandemic, during pandemic, everything about it. I know and we obviously need more guidance in taking care of ourselves. I mean if I’m a 4 and you’re a 2 we obviously need some help with that. Martin: For sure. Shannon: And I’m not afraid to ask for help! And to help us with that I want to bring in our two guests f...

Heart And Soul - Unbroken Heart   Martin Zerrudo: You are listening to Heart and Soul. A podcast from the Iglesia Ni Cristo, Church of Christ. I’m your host Martin Zerrudo, and I’ll be interviewing young adults from across the world. Who are living Christian lives, but are also dealing with real-world problems. This is Heart and Soul. [Show Open]   Martin Zerrudo: Hi, everyone. We're back with another episode of Heart and Soul. Wherever you are right now, I hope you and your family are healthy and safe. With me again is my co-host, Shannon. Hey, Shannon! Shannon Santamaria: Hi, Martin! I'm so happy to be here. Martin: Absolutely happy to have you. Have you been recently? Shannon: Good! I'm actually in California now. Martin: Awesome. I'm very jealous as here in Toronto, it snowed three days ago, but who's counting? Shannon: [Laughs] Maybe you. Martin: Maybe just me. So let's dive right into our episode for today. Today, we're talking about the unbroken heart. How to move on from heartbreak.  Now, I think, for a lot of our viewers that are watching and listening today, we're all at that age, right? We're at that time in our lives when we start to consider what we look for in someone we'd consider building a future with. Shannon: Honestly, that is so true. If you don't mind me asking, Martin, what were some of your requirements – if I could say that – when you were looking for a future wife? Martin: Yeah. You know, it's funny. In my late teens – like eighteen, nineteen – that was very different from my mid-twenties, which is very different from my late twenties to early thirties. But I think the only consistent thing that I was looking for was someone who was going to bring me closer and strengthen my relationship with God. How about you? Shannon: I think, for me, it's more about how they can help me grow in my faith as well. I know that sounds very quote, unquote, “basic,” but I think it's a fundamental value that I would need to have if I am looking for someone. That they can help me in my performance in the performance of my duties. And you'd be surprised. I'm actually really picky about that!  Martin: [Laughs] No, no. As you should be. You know, it's funny, like, aside from them being, you know, extremely faithful and active, I also wanted to find somebody who got along well with my family. You know, being able to get along in various situations, various instances – whether it's a gathering or a dinner or just hanging out – a lot of the time when you're married, it’s spent with family and friends. And so long as that dynamic is solid and is smooth and everybody gets along, it's such an important, important requirement for a healthy relationship, I think. Shannon: I think for me, as well, if I could talk about one more trait that I am looking for, it's that independence, it's that independence that, you know, the person that I'm going to have and build a future with can understand how to be independent, you know, relying and trusting in God more than they are on me. I think that’s a good foundation to have as well because, yes, you know, we'll build a future together, but at the end of the day, you need to have a solid foundation within yourself. Martin: Right. You're still, you're two people coming together as one. Shannon: Yes. Martin: Right. Two unique individuals. And, you know, these are really great requirements. Somebody who's independent,

[Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: So let's set the stage. You like them. They like you. You're both members of the Church Of Christ and are of age to start the courting process. What do you do? Are things moving too fast? Too slow? Do things feel easy? And is the relationship progressing naturally? Or does it feel a little forced? What do your friends think? What does your family think? Is God leading you into a relationship? Or is He trying to show you some red flags?  Let's have a Heart & Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin: Hello, everyone, hope we're finding you well, and that you and your family continue to be safe and healthy at this time. Today, we'll be talking about whether God is leading you into a relationship or if you're seeing something that maybe isn't there. A lot of our listeners in the past have reached out and asked us to talk about the one. And we definitely have, but today we'll be focusing more on being aware of whether or not they aren't the one. Joining us today is Brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel in the Church Of Christ. Hi, Brother Donald, how are you today? Brother Donald Pinnock: Not too bad, Brother Martin. And thank you for having me on the program. Martin: We always love having you. So we went online and found a couple things people point to as red flags for when you may be forcing a relationship with someone. And here they are. The first one is you talk about them like they're already your boyfriend or girlfriend, even though you aren't. Number two, you bend over backwards for them and they never reciprocate. Number three, you defend your relationship to your friends who express concerns. Number four, you make up excuses for why they never call you or text you back right away. And lastly, you tell yourself that they're going to want a relationship eventually, and that they will change even though they show no signs of it. So Brother Donald, why are so many youth today finding themselves in this predicament where they may be forcing a relationship that isn't there? Brother Donald: Well, Brother Martin, there's so many reasons. For example, there are those who, due to peer pressure, they feel compelled to have a relationship, whether it be an actual one, or, as you mentioned an imagined one, since most of their friends already have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Others may really want to have a meaningful relationship with someone. However, they're just too fearful of approaching that individual. Of course, they're afraid of rejection. Thus, they imagine or just assume that the other person has the same feelings for them. And they leave it at that. On the part of the females or as we call sisters in the Church, they may feel attracted to a brother, but in fear of being labeled as too forthcoming or just too aggressive, they resort to telling themselves that the individual they have a crush on has the same feelings or sentiment for them. In order to avoid creating such a scenario, however, it is very important that members of the Church keep in mind the following tenet or teaching of the Bible. And we can read the following in Proverbs 19:14: Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD. [Proverbs 19:14 New International Version]  Church Of Christ members then are taught to ask God for everything that they need, including when it comes to a suitable or prudent wife, and in fact, husband for that matter.

Always Trust God (Especially After a Breakup) [Lead In] Martin Zerrudo: Getting over a breakup isn't easy. It can be a painful, sad and prolonged period of self-reflection. Many turn to friends, family and social media to find solace in their grief. Now when someone we care about, someone we love leaves, we're left with so many questions. What if the answer to these questions—and about how to heal after a breakup, how to overcome a broken heart—what if they could be found in Bible verses? Let's have a Heart & Soul conversation. [Show open] Martin Zerrudo: Last year, I was able to talk to a listener, let's call her Jaya. Jaya is in her late 20s and lives in Anaheim, California. And at the time of our conversation, Jaya and her boyfriend, we’ll call him Blake, were very much in love. [Heart & Soul Listener] He was always someone that I was able to talk to really well, because we had a lot of common interests at the same time. We didn't really have any problems like butting heads about things. We were always able to talk about anything. Martin: While some might find this rare, it's because they've known each other for years and shared a common interest. [Heart & Soul Listener] We've actually known each other for a really long time. We've known each other for maybe like over a decade. We've always been really, really good friends. Yeah, we were really good friends. We fed off of each other really well. Simple things like you know, playing video games together. That was something we always did. That was something we always enjoyed. Martin: Jaya actually had feelings for Blake, but he didn't feel the same at the time. Fast forward to now, when Blake confessed his feelings for Jaya, she had a funny way of responding. [Heart & Soul Listener] Yeah, 10 years ago, he rejected me. I remember exactly what he said to me 10 years ago. I kinda remember word for word, what he said to me. He said, like, “Oh, well, this is awkward.” I was like I said, and so, you know, when it happened again, like when he came around, and he was saying [he had feelings for me] Yeah, I jokingly, like [replied] well, this is awkward. Martin: Like the rest of the world, when the pandemic happened, their relationship would hit a brick wall, as their ability to spend time with each other was severely impacted.  [Heart & Soul Listener] We had ended up not seeing each other, but we were definitely a lot more sensitive. When we weren't communicating, it was hurting us more. Things got really messy. Martin: They would have a big fight, their first in their relationship. And then Blake would send a text message that changed everything. [Heart & Soul Listener] Just had like our first I don't know if I call it a fight, but it was really the moment things really fell apart. Martin: They wouldn't talk for three months.  [Heart & Soul Listener] Yeah, I think we're done. That's all that was said.  Martin: Joining us now is Brother Donald Pinnock, a minister of the gospel of the Church Of Christ. Brother Donald, thank you so much for joining us today. How are you?