Advertise on podcast: To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

In this episode, Coach Ellen Melon gets real about what happens when our inner control freak takes the wheel — and how to find peace when life refuses to cooperate. At 32 weeks pregnant and freshly unemployed, Ellen shares honest stories from the last few months: hospital visits with her toddler, sleepless nights in an Ice Castle, money talks with her partner Mike, and the humbling realization that control is just fear dressed up as productivity. Through the lens of Al-Anon wisdom, HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), and a few hard-earned lessons from motherhood and partnership, Ellen explores three types of acceptance — accepting events (like a sick child or a change in plans), people (especially the ones you love most), and even institutions (where judgment and self-righteousness sneak in). This is a conversation about surrendering without giving up, finding grace in chaos, and remembering that control doesn't keep us safe — connection does. If you've ever felt powerless, impatient, or just done with things not going your way, this one's for you. Affirmation: You are capable of accepting what is. You are capable of letting go of what was. You are capable of having faith in what will be.   Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow For questions regarding this topic, or anything else, please email [email protected] DO NOT CONTACT ME VIA DM ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS I DO NOT CHECK THOSE PLATFORMS WITH REGULARITY. EMAIL IS BEST.

In this solo episode, Ellen dives into the unconscious mind and explores how shadow work might be the missing link between what we say we want and what we actually attract. Drawing from Dr. Carolyn Elliott's book Existential Kink, and referencing the well-known quote from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, this episode introduces listeners to a transformative practice: the Deepest Fear Inventory. Ellen shares personal reflections on craving change — a new house, job, or creative path — while grappling with internal resistance. Could there be a hidden part of us that's turned on by rejection? Addicted to chaos? Secretly comforted by being overlooked? This episode challenges listeners to ask brave, unsettling questions and walks through a 5-step shadow work exercise to help uncover, name, and release deep fears that may be blocking personal growth. If you've ever felt stuck, cyclical, or frustrated by your own patterns, this one's for you.   Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow For questions regarding this topic, or anything else, please email  [email protected] DO NOT CONTACT ME VIA DM ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS I DO NOT CHECK THOSE PLATFORMS WITH REGULARITY. EMAIL IS BEST.

In this episode, I explore the deep discomfort of uncertainty, the scarcity mindset, and how they intertwine with faith, trust, and self-worth. Since going part-time at work and navigating new family responsibilities, I've struggled with the fear of the unknown. Inspired by a powerful quote from Conclave and insights from The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist, I discuss how scarcity thinking shapes our daily lives and how we can shift towards sufficiency and trust. This episode includes reflections, guided meditation, and mantras to help reframe fear into faith and remind you that you are enough. Key Topics Covered: Navigating Uncertainty: How my transition to part-time work and increased family responsibilities heightened my fears. The way uncertainty can feel like a sneaky illusion of risk. Lessons from Hidden Brain's episode "Sitting with Uncertainty."  Faith, Trust, and the Role of Doubt: A powerful quote from Conclave on the necessity of doubt in faith. Why certainty can be a dangerous mindset that limits growth and connection. Learning to trust in ourselves, each other, and the unknown. The Scarcity Mindset & Its Impact: How we wake up every day feeling like we don't have enough—time, money, energy, success. The cultural obsession with scarcity and how it disconnects us from our truth. A reading from The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist on shifting from scarcity to sufficiency. Practices for Overcoming Fear & Lack: Guided meditation to connect with inner abundance. Mantras to reinforce self-worth and sufficiency. A reminder that we were all born worthy, enough, and deserving of abundance. This episode is an invitation to let go of fear, reframe uncertainty, and remember that you are enough—exactly as you are. Hit subscribe to catch future episodes, and let's reflect together! 🎙️✨ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow For questions regarding this topic, please email [email protected] DO NOT CONTACT ME VIA DM ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS I DO NOT CHECK THOSE PLATFORMS WITH REGULARITY. EMAIL IS BEST.

Description: In this New Year 2025 episode, I reflect on the biggest lessons I learned over the past year—a tradition that has shaped my personal growth since my late 20s. From the challenges of motherhood and navigating work relationships to the importance of curiosity, holiday traditions, and personal integrity, I share insights that shaped my year and might resonate with you. I also open up about my absence from podcasting, the realities of balancing work, family, and personal well-being, and my hopes for future episodes. Plus, I ask you: How do you reflect on your year? What lessons have stood out to you? Topics Covered: The growing pains of motherhood & step-parenting Navigating work relationships & personal growth The power of asking better questions The role of traditions in creating joy Showing up in relationships with more awareness Stick around for a tip on improving sleep, a powerful insight on breakups, and a challenge for you: What's a hard conversation you've been avoiding? Hit subscribe to catch future episodes, and let's reflect together! 🎙️✨   Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow For questions regarding this topic, please email [email protected] DO NOT CONTACT ME VIA DM ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS I DO NOT CHECK THOSE PLATFORMS WITH REGULARITY. EMAIL IS BEST.

Part 3 of 7! This season on To Hump a Pillow, I invite my fiance Mike to the podcast in a 7-Episode Relationship Series to discuss challenging conversations that occur in couple-hood. We'll deep-dive into 7 deliciously uncomfortable topics: How to talk about envious and jealous feelings How to talk about money and finances, spending habits Sex life - how it's changed over our relationship and how to ask for what you need On taking things too personally Maintaining individualism and ensuring alone time Day to day compromising Coparenting in a blended family In this episode, Mike and I discuss difficult feelings and values around money, like: The beginning of our sex life (early dating), first sexual experience First trimester sex Second/third trimester sex Post-partum sex life and how to navigate the emotional and physical mess Things that get in the way of our sex life Episodes I've called out in the episode: #60. The trick to using dating apps - a real convo with my boyfriend Mike #19. Finding self-love with The 4 Agreements #14. How sex changes in partnerships for first time parents, genito-pelvic pain, and arousal disorder - with Dr. Natalie Rosen #9. Vaginal tearing during child labor: Sex, anatomy, fear, and lessons learned - with Alyssa #7. The messages I received about sex when I was young - Part 1 of 2 - with Ellen Melon ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow For questions regarding this topic, please email [email protected] DO NOT CONTACT ME VIA DM ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS I DO NOT CHECK THOSE PLATFORMS WITH REGULARITY. EMAIL IS BEST.  

Dear listeners, pardon my absence! After taking a year off of the podcast, being pregnant, buying a house, having a baby, getting engaged, I am back and ready to share some new content on the podcast. This season on To Hump a Pillow, I invite my fiance Mike to the podcast in a 7-Episode Relationship Series to discuss challenging conversations that occur in couple-hood. We'll deep-dive into 7 deliciously uncomfortable topics: How to talk about envious and jealous feelings How to talk about money and finances, spending habits Sex life - how it's changed over our relationship and how to ask for what you need On taking things too personally Maintaining individualism and ensuring alone time Day to day compromising Coparenting in a blended family In this episode, Mike and I discuss difficult feelings and values around money, like: Money mindset How money was discussed in our homes, upbringing Our challenges with talking about money As a woman, making my own money to be able to make empowered decisions Spending money seperately, together, and on large purchases Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow For questions regarding this topic, please email [email protected] DO NOT CONTACT ME VIA DM ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS I DO NOT CHECK THOSE PLATFORMS WITH REGULARITY. EMAIL IS BEST.  

Dear listeners, pardon my absence! After taking a year off of the podcast, being pregnant, buying a house, having a baby, getting engaged, I am back and ready to share some new content on the podcast. This season on To Hump a Pillow, I invite my fiance Mike to the podcast in a 7-Episode Relationship Series to discuss challenging conversations that occur in couple-hood. We'll deep-dive into 7 deliciously uncomfortable topics: How to talk about envious and jealous feelings How to talk about money and finances Sex life - how it's changed over our relationship and how to ask for what you need On taking things too personally Maintaining individualism and ensuring alone time Day to day compromising Coparenting in a blended family In this episode, Mike and I discuss difficult feelings around envy and jealousy. We'll discuss: dating and setting the expectation that it's okay to talk about previous relationships within boundaries the difference between jealousy and envy and personal examples of how to navigate those feeling in our relationship when it comes up how jealousy and envy feel in the body (body mapping excercise) so that we know when it comes up Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow For questions regarding this topic, please email [email protected] DO NOT CONTACT ME VIA DM ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS I DO NOT CHECK THOSE PLATFORMS WITH REGULARITY. EMAIL IS BEST.  

How do you integrate painful losses into your life while living? Grief is something we in the United States are known to do poorly. Perhaps it's the European decent that curved our culture's inability to feel feelings, perhaps it's industrial era-based where we learned that there's no time in our 40 hour work week to sit with grief, or perhaps our modern day fear machines (the media) have signaled to our bodies, 'It's not safe here - eject from your body.'   Whatever got us here, grief is an important part of our learning to be resilient and self-compassionate. And it's part of the human contract with life — As Dr Susan David says, "Discomfort is the price of admission to meaningful life."   In this episode, I provide some education and philosophy on grief, the definitions, different types of grief. I also share about my year-long season of grief, showcasing how I found a place for grief, having successfully learned how to do it and how to integrate it. Grief is something we must all feel and move through in order to have the highest level of relationships with people we connect with and love. For, it is in our relationship to the self that we treat and extend to others.   Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow For questions regarding this topic, please email [email protected] DO NOT CONTACT ME VIA DM ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS I DO NOT CHECK THOSE PLATFORMS WITH REGULARITY. EMAIL IS BEST.

In this episode we get to hear from a former client on his experience working with a sex and relationship coach. Addison and I worked for 4 months together back in January, meeting every 2 weeks via Zoom. Listen to the challenges he overcame in this episode.  I'm a coach who specializes in working with people pleasers, codependents, and people with anxious-attachement styles.  If you are someone who identifies with those labels, some challenges you might be having are… Being angry and blamey — sick of playing the victim and ready to stop being so judgemental all the time Tired of seeking external validation, or tired of being a person who gets into relationships and says, "okay how can I mold myself so this person likes me" Fixated on every little thing — your perfectionism gets in the way of you living life because you're so busy hustling for worthiness and what you produce How much control you need to have on everything, all the time and it's ruining your life and relationships Tired of leaning on coping mechanisms- ways in which you numb out, like emotional eating, netflix bingeing, shopping, drugs and alcohol Tired of the harsh and critical voice inside your head that's hating on you all the time If this sounds like you, it's time to remember your worth. It's time to cultivate happiness, authenticity, and self compassion, because my dear you have been performing what you think everyone else wants you to be and have lost your truest self and desires. Let's call your authentic self back shall we? Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow For questions regarding this topic, please email [email protected] DO NOT CONTACT ME VIA DM ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS I DO NOT CHECK THOSE PLATFORMS WITH REGULARITY. EMAIL IS BEST.

Welcome back to To Hump A Pillow! We're kicking off Season 4, our 20 episode season with episode #60 — on dating apps. When most of us think about dating apps, we roll our eyes at the thought of what a task that can be. "Dating apps suck" — a common refrain from most of my clients. I've said those word myself! What if the app isn't the problem? What if you're the problem?   I've always wanted to do an episode about dating apps, and now I've got the data and experience (my own and from clients) to create meaningful content around this topic.    In this episode I've brought my boyfriend of 6 months, Mike, to discuss our experiences of dating apps — the different intentions for getting on dating apps over the course of our dating journeys, including before we met, our experience of meeting on Hinge, and how using dating apps felt after being in long term relationships. Lastly, I'll walk through my dating app framework I use with clients who are single, thinking about dating, new to a relationship or just wanting to explore hook ups.   Dating App Framework: intention: what part of me wants to download a dating app? what part of me is holding me back from trying dating apps? profile creation: what meaningful and authentic stuff can I put out there? swiping considerations: what parameters do you have in place for swiping? what red flags are you looking for? what green flags? communications and boundaries: how do want to protect your time and energy by setting boundaries on communications? how long do you want to talk on the app until there's a sense of trust built? when is the right time to meet up? This framework is mostly geared toward people with an anxious-attachment style, historically quick to have sex, and often attract emotionally immature partners, people that are only physically attractive (vanity-based dating), or emotionally unavailable partners.  Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow For questions regarding this topic, please email [email protected] DO NOT CONTACT ME VIA DM ON SOCIAL MEDIA AS I DO NOT CHECK THOSE PLATFORMS WITH REGULARITY. EMAIL IS BEST.

Ayahuasca is a powerful medicinal medicine that comes from the Amazon. It has been around for centuries, needs to be taken seriously, and is not for everyone. In this episode, fellow coach and healer, Kate Bandmann and I discuss our ayahuasca experiences — the terror and discomfort to the enhancements and growths. This is the last episode of Season 3! I'll see you in the fall when we kick off Season 4! Interested in work with a coach on your relationship style and sex life? Check out more info here: https://www.ellenmelon.com/1on1   Find Kate here: https://www.instagram.com/elevate.integrate.therapy/ https://msha.ke/elevateintegratetherapy/ ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________  

In this episode, I fly solo in offering a different perspective on the Texas School Shooting. Yes, maybe it's gun law reform and yes, it's also hurting children in angry bodies. As more people feel disconnected, they grow angrier. Happy, secure children who have a sense of self don't shoot up schools. It's time to teach people how to process their childhood and FEEL THEIR FEELINGS.   I will discuss: My own experience of middle school and high school and what I noticed What is emotional neglect and emotional immature parents? 10 Themes of emotional neglect Mother wound Perfectionism as a byproduct of shame Belonging & Connection Shame, Empathy, Guilt, Humiliation and Embarrassment Cultivating authenticity 10 Themes of Emotional Neglect (from Dr Jonice Webbs "Running on Empty" Book): Feelings of Emptiness Counter-Dependence Unrealistic Self-Appraisal No Compassion for Self, Plenty for Others Guilt and Shame: What is Wrong With Me? Self-Directed Anger, Self-Blame Fatal Flaw (If People Really Know Me They Won't Like Me) Difficulty Nurturing Self and Others Poor Self-Discipline Alexithymia: Poor Awareness and Understanding of Emotions Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________ Books discussed: Running on Empty by Jonice Webb PhD with Christine Musello PsyD Adult children of emotionally immature parents : how to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents by Lindsay C. Gibson Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

What are you thoughts and feelings on porn? How do you use it in your life? In this episode Sex Coach, Jessica Childs and I discuss our own relationship with porn. Episode adopted from Erotic Ed, a YouTube Channel that was deleted. Orignial recording date: 7/8/21 Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: Episode #10. Thinking about a career in sex work? Common misconceptions about the sex work industry - with Alice Little 10 Skills for Repair Blog Post: https://www.somaticainstitute.com/blog/10-steps-to-successful-relationship-repair/ Dipsea: https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/the-new-look-and-feel-of-dipsea/ ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

Do you avoid conflict? Does it feel like you're walking on eggshells in your home, in your relationships? Then you need some education around repair.  In this episode I pull out the Erotic Ed Archives — a YouTube Channel Show hosted by S x Coaches, Jessica and Ellen Melon – where we discuss the fundamentals of a repair conversation. Repair meaning, a hard conversation after an argument or rupture between 2 people. It's important to learn repair because it is a skill of empathetic listening and self awareness that will greatly enhance your relationships. We'll talk about our own experiences with repair, our own examples of avoiding conflict, and walk through the 10 Steps of Repair, created by Celeste & Danielle of Somatica Institute. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about:   ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________

For those of you who struggle with not being enough — your body type, your penis size, your ethnicity — this is an episode for you. In this episode I interview international sex expert and sex educator, Kenneth Play. Named the "world's greatest sex hacker" by GQ, he has been featured by more than one hundred media outlets, including The New York Times, Men's Health, Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post, and Nightline. Kenneth is an Asian immigrant with an average-sized penis who lived most of his early life with crippling sexual insecurity. Determined to overcome this anxiety, he dedicated his life to studying the complexities of academic sex research, exploring the mysteries of Tantra, immersing himself in the forbidden world of BDSM, and even joining the lustful chaos of underground sex parties. We'll talk about his journey as a young man, his current lifestyle and relationships, penis size, and squirting, He pulls a lot from his new book, BEYOND SATISFIED: A sex hacker's guide to endless orgasms, mind blowing connection, and lasting confidence. In Beyond Satisfied, Kenneth shares the sex hacking secrets he's successfully taught millions of men. This book is a cross between Bruce Lee's mixed martial arts approach and Tim Ferriss' 80/20 rule—but for sex. Far from just another "find her clitoris" guide, Beyond Satisfied distills hard science and hands-on experience into techniques that any man can successfully put into practice. Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching ____________________ Links we talked about: https://kennethplay.com/ https://book.kennethplay.com/beyond-satisfied-bookll https://go.kennethplay.com/sex-hacker-pro-deal https://www.instagram.com/kenneth_play/ https://www.facebook.com/kennethplaypage/ Hacienda - desire/belonging, responsible hedonism, high novelty needs vs high security needs  "Open Smarter" by Dr Zhana Squirtingsurvey.com: https://kenneth-play.mykajabi.com/encore-1620413533   ____________________ Coach Ellen Melon links: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com ____________________