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For children who have experienced trauma, instability, foster care, disrupted attachment, or unpredictable caregivers, controlling their environment can become a way to create safety and predictability. What looks like bossiness, rigidity, defiance, or inflexibility may actually be rooted in a much deeper need for agency and control. In this episode, Rebecca Britt, founder of Stable Moments®, explains why children with developmental trauma may seek control, what controlling behavior can look like during mentorship, and how trauma-informed adults can respond without getting into a power struggle. We’ll also walk through practical strategies used in the Stable Moments model, including: • Creating predictable three-part session plans • Giving children meaningful choices and agency • Using “You Lead, I Lead” with children who want to control the session • Helping children identify what is and isn’t within their control • Using our “In My Hands” activity to build emotional awareness, responsibility, and independence The goal isn’t to take control away from a child. It’s to help them experience that they can have a voice, make choices, and feel safe—even when they aren’t in control of everything. Learn more about the Stable Moments mentorship model and watch our free webinar: https://stablemoments.com/webinar Stable Moments® is a trauma-informed mentorship program focused on helping children develop six core life skills: self-worth, responsibility, self-regulation, emotional awareness, healthy relationships, and independence.

Why do foster and adopted children so often assume everything is their fault? For children with developmental trauma, self-blame can become more than a thought—it can become a core belief. A parent is upset, a friend acts differently, someone reschedules, a teacher corrects them…and their brain immediately fills in the blank: It must be because of me. In this episode, I’m talking about what I call the blame reflex—our very human tendency to assign fault when something goes wrong. Blame can actually make us feel safer because if we can figure out why something happened, we can convince ourselves we can prevent it from happening again. But children who have experienced abuse, neglect, disrupted attachment, foster care, or other developmental trauma often turn that blame inward. We’ll explore: Why blame can create a false sense of safety and control • How self-blame becomes woven into a child’s identity The difference between guilt (“I did something bad”) and shame (“I am bad”) • How everyday interactions can become “evidence” that a child is unwanted, unworthy, or to blame Why simply saying “It’s not your fault” may not be enough How mentors can use curiosity to help children consider other possibilities The difference between fault, accountability, and responsibility How asking “What do we do next?” can shift children away from shame Why trauma-informed adults need to recognize their own blame reflex, too How small, consistent moments can help children develop cognitive flexibility and a healthier sense of self-worth We aren’t trying to teach children that nothing is ever their responsibility. We’re helping them learn that sometimes they make mistakes, sometimes other people make mistakes, sometimes nobody made a mistake—and sometimes we simply don’t know why something happened. That ability to sit with uncertainty without automatically deciding “It was because of me” can be incredibly powerful for a child who has spent their life believing they are the problem. Learn more about Stable Moments and our trauma-informed mentorship model: https://www.stablemoments.com Interested in doing your own deeper work around old stories, wounds, and patterns? Learn more about Heal Yourself, Heal the World: https://www.stablemoments.com/heal

Why would a child reject the very connection they desperately need? In this episode of the Stable Moments Podcast, Rebecca Britt explores what she calls the Belonging Wound—a deep belief many children develop after experiencing abuse, neglect, foster care, adoption, or developmental trauma. When a child believes they don't belong, that wound can show up in surprising ways. One child may push everyone away. Another may become a people pleaser. Some act like they know everything, while others become perfectionists or completely change their personalities to fit in. These behaviors may look different, but they often come from the same core belief: "I don't belong." In this episode, you'll learn: • What the belonging wound is • The difference between belonging and fitting in • Why children reject connection before they can be rejected • Why some kids become know-it-alls, people pleasers, perfectionists, or chameleons • Practical trauma-informed responses for each presentation • How consistent relationships help children heal developmental trauma Whether you're a foster parent, adoptive parent, mentor, teacher, therapist, CASA volunteer, or child welfare professional, this episode will help you see behavior through the lens of trauma and belonging. ▶ Learn how to launch a Stable Moments mentorship program in your community: https://www.stablemoments.com/webinar Stable Moments is a trauma-informed mentorship model pairing one caring adult with one child for one hour each week to build life skills, healthy relationships, and long-term resilience. Subscribe for weekly conversations about developmental trauma, foster care, adoption, mentorship, and practical strategies for helping children heal. #DevelopmentalTrauma #FosterCare #Adoption #TraumaInformed #ChildDevelopment #Mentorship #StableMoments

Heal Yourself Heal the World Course: https://stablemoments.com/heal Many children who have experienced foster care, adoption, abuse, neglect, or developmental trauma carry complicated relationships with their memories. Some memories are painful. Others are joyful but feel confusing because they are connected to people or places that others have labeled as "bad." As caring adults, mentors, foster parents, teachers, and caregivers, we often avoid talking about a child's past because we're afraid of triggering them. But what if honoring positive memories is actually part of healing? In this episode of the Stable Moments Podcast, I explore why memories matter for children with developmental trauma and share one of our favorite trauma-informed mentorship activities: the Memory Rock Activity. You'll learn: • Why foster and adopted children often struggle to organize and make sense of memories • How positive memories support emotional regulation and self-worth • Why children need permission to honor the good moments from difficult chapters of life • How to use the Memory Rock Activity to create connection, grounding, and resilience • Ways mentors, foster parents, and caregivers can have meaningful conversations without acting as therapists Whether you're a mentor, foster parent, adoptive parent, educator, social worker, or simply someone who wants to make a difference in a child's life, this episode offers practical tools you can use immediately. 🎴 Meaningful Moments Cards: https://stablemoments.com/store 🌐 Learn more about Stable Moments: https://stablemoments.com  #FosterCare #TraumaInformed #DevelopmentalTrauma #TraumaInformedMentoring #FosterYouth #Adoption #ChildDevelopment #Mentorship #TraumaResponsive #FosterParenting #SocialWork #YouthMentoring #StableMoments #ChildhoodTrauma #EmotionalAwareness

What if mentorship isn’t about getting it right… but about staying responsive? In this episode of the Stable Moments Podcast, we explore what it really means to be trauma responsive in mentorship and why flexibility, curiosity, and connection matter more than perfect planning. Many mentors feel pressure to create the “perfect” session, but children who have experienced foster care, adoption, abuse, neglect, or developmental trauma don’t need perfect adults. They need safe, connected relationships with adults who can stay calm, open, and responsive when things don’t go according to plan. In this episode, we discuss: What trauma-responsive mentorship actually means Why responsive relationships help children heal Real mentorship scenarios and examples How to stay flexible during difficult moments Why confidence comes from responsiveness, not perfection How healthy relationships are built through curiosity and connection Whether you’re a mentor, foster parent, educator, church leader, or community organization, this episode will help you better understand how to support children impacted by trauma through relationship-centered mentorship. 👉 Learn more about the Stable Moments model, watch our FREE webinar: https://www.stablemoments.com/webinar #StableMoments #TraumaInformed #Mentorship #FosterCare #Adoption #TraumaResponsive

Worried about saying the wrong thing to a child who has experienced trauma? You’re not alone. One of the biggest reasons people hesitate to become mentors or work with foster and adopted youth is the fear of messing up. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to be perfect to make a difference. In this episode, we talk about the power of repair in trauma-informed mentorship — what it is, why it matters, and how it can actually strengthen your relationship with a child. Children who have experienced abuse, neglect, or unstable relationships often internalize negative experiences and believe they are at fault. Repair helps shift that belief and teaches them that relationships can be safe, consistent, and forgiving. In this episode, you’ll learn: What “repair” means in trauma-informed care Why perfection isn’t the goal in mentorship How to respond when you say the wrong thing Real examples of repair with kids How repair builds trust, resilience, and connection Whether you’re a mentor, foster parent, educator, or simply someone who wants to support children from hard places, this episode will give you a practical, powerful tool you can use right away. 👉 Learn more about Stable Moments: https://stablemoments.com/webinar #StableMoments #TraumaInformed #Mentorship #FosterCare #Adoption #ChildDevelopment #HealingRelationships

Our Stable Moments color-coded activities may look simple on the surface, but they are intentionally designed to build specific life skills in kids who have experienced unstable beginnings. In this episode, I break down one of our most powerful activities: Build a Bridge. This trauma-informed mentorship activity helps foster and adopted youth develop: 🟠 Independence 🔵 Responsibility 🟢 Self-Worth We’ll walk through: • The trauma lens behind why some kids shut down after failure • How to guide problem-solving without fixing it for them • How this activity strengthens resilience and confidence • How you can start small on a tabletop and expand to bigger bridge challenges across a room At Stable Moments, our color-coded activities are intentionally matched to each child’s individualized Plan of Care to target the specific life skills they need to strengthen. This isn’t just an engineering challenge. It’s developmental repair. 👉 Want to launch a Stable Moments program in your school, church, or community organization? Learn more about becoming a certified Stable Moments location here: https://www.stablemoments.com #StableMoments #TraumaInformed #FosterCare #Mentorship #SEL #ResilienceBuilding

Many children who have experienced foster care, adoption, abuse, neglect, or abandonment haven’t had the opportunity to discover who they are or what they’re good at. Instead of exploring interests and strengths, they learned how to survive — often by giving the “right” answer rather than the true one. In this episode, we talk about why developing a sense of self is so important for children with developmental trauma and how mentors can support strength-building in safe, relational ways. We share practical strategies mentors can use in sessions, including Stable Moments’ All About Me activity, and why noticing and naming a child’s strengths in real time can be life-changing. Whether you’re a mentor, foster parent, or professional supporting children in care, this conversation will help you better understand how identity, confidence, and self-worth develop through consistent, trauma-informed relationships. Topics covered include: Why kids with trauma often believe they’re “not good at anything” How survival behaviors impact identity development Helping kids answer “What do you like?” authentically Using the All About Me activity to support self-discovery Why naming strengths builds confidence and trust #StableMoments #TraumaInformed #Mentorship #FosterCare #Adoption #ChildDevelopment #HealingRelationships

Some of the most powerful moments in a Stable Moments session happen between the activities — in the greeting, the transition, and the quiet spaces where connection grows. 💜 In this episode, Rebecca shares 10 simple trauma-informed practices — called Mini Moments — that mentors can use to build trust, support regulation, and strengthen key life skills with kids who have experienced trauma. These practical tools don’t require supplies or planning, just presence and intention. Whether you’re a mentor, educator, or trauma-informed professional, you’ll leave with fresh ways to bring calm, connection, and confidence into every session. 🌱 ✨ Watch to learn: What “Mini Moments” are and why they matter How to weave trauma-informed practices naturally into sessions Real examples that build self-worth, responsibility, and emotional awareness 💜 Read the full blog here Get Your Trauma-Informed Responses cheat sheet: https://www.stablemoments.com/responses #StableMoments #TraumaInformed #Mentorship #FosterCare #MiniMoments #YouthDevelopment #TraumaInformedCare

🎵 Music + Mentorship = Magic 🎵 In this episode, we sit down with Crystal Luk-Worrall, a London-based music therapist and EMDR practitioner, to explore how music can support children in foster care and adoption through trauma-informed mentorship. Crystal shares why music matters, how it helps regulate the body and emotions, and five simple ways mentors can use music to build trust, connection, and healing. From creating playlists to drumming, humming, and turning feelings into music, these strategies give mentors practical tools they can use right away. 👉 Whether you’re a mentor, foster parent, or professional supporting children who have experienced developmental trauma, this conversation will show you how music can open doors where words may not. 📌 Topics Covered: Why music supports trauma-informed mentorship How music regulates the body and nervous system Practical ways mentors can use music with children in care Building trust and emotional safety through creativity Crystal's Website: www.clapandtoot.com Mentors can download a free guide of integrating creativity in their work here: https://www.clapandtoot.com/guidetocreativepractice  #StableMoments #TraumaInformed #Mentorship #FosterCare #Adoption #MusicTherapy

When I first became a mandated reporter, I thought it was simple: if a child disclosed abuse or neglect, I’d pick up the phone and call it in. But working with kids in foster care taught me that reporting isn’t always black and white. Sometimes disclosures are about survival, longing for home, wanting to leave a placement, or even seeking attention. In this episode of the Stable Moments Podcast, I share what it really means to be a mandated reporter when working with children who’ve experienced early developmental trauma. We’ll cover: What a mandated reporter is and who qualifies The difference between reporting current vs. past abuse Why you should never assume past abuse has already been documented How to respond when a child discloses something difficult The importance of staying non-judgmental while ensuring children’s safety How false or exaggerated reports impact foster and adoptive families A simple trauma-informed framework for handling disclosures Whether you’re a mentor, teacher, social worker, healthcare provider, or volunteer, this episode will help you navigate mandated reporting with empathy, clarity, and confidence. 👉 Watch until the end for practical steps you can take when a child shares sensitive information with you. 🌐 Learn more about the Stable Moments trauma-informed mentorship program and watch our free webinar: https://stablemoments.com/webinar 📌 Subscribe for more conversations on foster care, child welfare, and trauma-informed mentorship.  #StableMoments #MandatedReporter #TraumaInformed #FosterCare #ChildWelfare #Mentorship

Trauma-informed mentorship isn’t just a trendy phrase—it’s a powerful approach that meets kids from foster care and early adversity with empathy, consistency, and connection. In this episode, we break down what trauma-informed mentorship really means, why it matters for kids who’ve experienced developmental trauma, and how the Stable Moments model is providing a practical framework for healing. We also explore why mentorship starts with us—and how doing our own inner work through the Heal Yourself, Heal the World course helps mentors show up with the presence and self-awareness that kids truly need. ✨ Whether you're a program leader, mentor, or advocate for youth in foster care, this episode will leave you inspired to create stable moments that change lives. Check out more about our model at www.stablemoments.com

How do you respond when a child in foster care says, “Can I live with you?” Or when they lie, steal, or share something deeply personal? In this episode, we’re diving into real-life trauma-informed responses for the “sticky situations” that come up when working with kids who’ve experienced trauma—especially those in foster care. You’ll learn: ✔️ What to say (and what not to say) in tough moments ✔️ How to hold boundaries with empathy ✔️ Why certain behaviors are really bids for connection ✔️ How to stay grounded and trauma-informed no matter what comes up 📥 Grab your FREE Trauma-Informed Response Cheat Sheet here: www.stablemoments.com/responses Whether you're a mentor, caregiver, educator, or just someone who cares, this video will help you feel more confident and connected as you support youth from hard places. 🔔 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share if this helped you!

At Stable Moments®, we make a bold claim: we are ending the foster care crisis — one mentor at a time. In this episode, I'm sharing an important presentation about the real roots of the foster care crisis and what it actually takes to end it. While systemic change is necessary, true transformation happens when we invest in the individual child — helping them heal, build self-worth, develop life skills, and break generational cycles. It's not just about finding more beds for kids in care — it's about making sure fewer kids need foster care in the first place. If you want to understand the foster care crisis on a deeper level, and learn how you can be part of the solution, this episode is for you. May is Foster Care Awareness Month — so it's the perfect time to listen, reflect, and share this message to spark change.

Ever wonder why emotional regulation is so hard for kids with developmental trauma? Or how your energy might be the most powerful tool in helping them regulate? In this week’s episode, we’re diving deep into co-regulation—what it is, why it matters, and how mentors and caregivers can show up intentionally for kids who've experienced foster care or early trauma. Here’s a quick glimpse of what we unpack: 🧠 How trauma impacts brain development and the ability to process emotions 🧘‍♀️ Why it’s not about staying calm all the time, but authentically matching and guiding energy 🫶 What it really looks like to give an “energetic hug” 💥 Why your own self-awareness and inner work are crucial to supporting kids effectively 🎯 How to let go of the plan and lean into the real healing moments when things go off-script This episode is packed with real-life stories (including one from the car with a screaming toddler), mentor strategies, and heartfelt reminders that how we show up matters. Whether you're mentoring, parenting, or simply wanting to show up better for others—this one’s for you.