
Advertise on podcast: Two Dicks in a Bar
Rating
4.6from
This podcast has
212 episodes
Language
EnglishPublisher
Jesse Walcutt, Ed, Mike, & NateExplicit
Yes
Date created
2020/01/04
Latest episode
2026/04/23
Average duration
80 min.
Release period
10 days
Description
Two dicks in a bar talking with their friends and random people that join
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Podcast episodes
Check latest episodes from Two Dicks in a Bar podcast
The Trees You’ll Never See the Shade Of
2026/04/23
Josh is 41, the Earth is older, and the immigration appointment system is broken on purpose. Episode 213 gets into it: redistricting and the fair districts amendment, why 8 million protesters still wasn’t enough, corporate short-sightedness versus the guy who plants trees for future generations, and what a humanitarian party platform might actually look like. Meanwhile: Nicole wins again at Hard Rock Bet, someone stole the urinal mat, sex bingo is next Saturday at 8, and the honey bears are apparently flying off the shelf for reasons everyone understands.
No Snow, No Kings, and No Idea What We’re Watching
2026/04/16
Jesse’s back from Breckenridge with a report: worst snow in 50 years, one open quarter of one mountain, and a lot of beginners getting in the way. Meanwhile, the crew catches up on the No Kings protest math, debates whether online slots are actually rigged (Nicole wins $700 on her first spin and hasn’t stopped), and goes deep on the mom-and-pop economy, what killed it, and what’s left. Also: Pee Wee Herman’s adult HBO special, Phil Hartman dying before your coworkers were born, Howard the Duck in the MCU, and a piracy website that’s been up for a decade and nobody cares.
Colon Wall, Cold Fronts, and Country Music
2026/04/16
From colonoscopies to Breckenridge, episode 211 covers a lot of ground. The crew checks the math on whether the No Kings protests have the numbers to matter, relitigates the country music discourse, and swaps first-concert stories that range from Genesis to Pantera to, yes, Air Supply. The back half goes deep on education: what’s actually going on with autism diagnoses, why ADHD might just be a mismatch between how kids learn and how schools teach, and whether any of this gets fixed if we keep paying teachers $38,000 a year. Patty from the IEP trenches joins to set everyone straight.
Nobody Could Cross Him
2026/03/26
The boys hit 210 and celebrate the only way they know how — by arguing about guns, addiction, traffic, housing, and whether the solar system might be conscious. Jesse’s got AI limit complaints, Ed’s got Renaissance Fest regrets, and Mike’s got opinions on bowling alley engineering. Also: Trump’s Mueller post, Rob Mueller’s death, self-driving cars as a subscription service, and the strong case for three presidents.
Claude Does My Inventory
2026/03/12
Jesse has officially outsourced his brain to an AI. This week he trained Claude to read his POS system’s creative spelling (“Crown Apple 750 w Flask” is apparently a different product than “Crown Apple 750”), hit his session usage limit doing bar inventory, and used it to tell him which Joe Rogan episodes to skip — which turns out to be most of them. Ed and Mike try to keep up while Jesse explains game theory, Robert Axelrod, and the prisoner’s dilemma, none of which anyone asked for. Also: online voting, casino money laundering (Mike legally cannot elaborate), and Iran’s oil fields are on fire but that’s fine.
Claude Crashes the Bar
2026/03/05
Jesse, Ed, and Mike are back after a two-week hiatus with a packed episode. Mike’s mystery respiratory situation, a free Morton’s steak dinner that turned into an annuities seminar, and an unexpected fourth guest: Claude the AI, who holds his own pretty well against three guys who won’t let him finish a sentence. Also: nuclear drones, dark forest theory, rap battle psychology, and a Canadian named Ragnar who drove eight hours through a blizzard just to catch a plane home.
Psychedelics, Implants, and the Manchurian Candidate
2026/02/12
The mics are hot and the takes are hotter. This week, the Dicks tackle Trump calling an Olympian a "loser," the ethics of $9,000 medical trials (Jesse volunteers his body for science… and cash), and a deep dive into cognitive decline that actually ends on a hopeful note. Plus: Uber's broken business model, the Mandela Effect vs. government gaslighting, and why Bondi is a real American c*nt. It's loud, it's loose, and it's exactly what you need.
AI John Candy & ICE Gulags
2026/02/05
Grab a water (or something stronger) and pull up a stool. In this episode, the Dicks navigate a labyrinth of topics: Should John Candy be digitally resurrected for the Spaceballs sequel? How did two famous announcers not know they were brothers? And what’s the constitutional limit on federal ice agents? Stops are made for Aaron Lewis's rants, the perils of quitting vices, and the universal language of road signs. No agenda, just the flow of a great bar conversation.
Begats, Beards, and Bad Covers
2026/01/29
The podcast where the intro is an outtake and the plot is whatever sticks to the wall. This episode’s journey includes: getting stuck in a hypothetical time loop, skipping the "begat" chapters of the Bible, designing the perfect Gremlins sock-puppet knockoff, and planning a side project for "old, scrotchety" rock covers ("Get Off My Lawn"). It's a beautifully unplanned mess—like a great night at the bar should be.
Hemorrhoids, Hoosiers, & G.I. Joes
2026/01/22
The crew opens with the finer points of personal hygiene before Jesse recounts his freezing, high-as-a-kite trip to Georgia, complete with antique posters warning of "crime, suicide, and prostitution." The conversation takes a sharp turn into the ethics of immigration policy (with some googled stats), before a warm, nostalgic crash landing into the greatest toys of the 80s—from Ewok Villages to Thundercats. It's a rollercoaster from ass-scratching to action figures.
The 32-Year-Old Adolescent & The Secret Data Center
2026/01/15
As Jesse preps for a freezing trip to Georgia (and a legendary D&D drink menu), the conversation spirals into the nature of reality itself. Is there a secret government data center under a certain Florida ballroom? Are we living in a simulation post-2012? And why does science now say your brain isn't an adult until you're 32? All this, plus a passionate rant on remote work, resource hoarding, and whether Wile E. Coyote cartoons were ever in black and white.
Pittsburgh Cheesesteaks & Beard-Growing Wisdom
2026/01/08
The gang tackles the first "Short Attention Span Theater" episode of 2026 by trying to understand Three Kings Day, defending disc golf as "real golf," and offering unsolicited advice on growing a beard (and dealing with psoriasis). A visit from "Pittsburgh Bob" sparks a debate on regional sandwiches, while the conversation meanders through international politics, Olympic preferences, and the most aerodynamic head shapes for imaginary winter swimming events. It's a masterclass in conversational chaos.
A One-Way Ticket & The Ball Drop
2026/01/01
As the clock ticks down on 2025, the conversation takes an unexpected turn when a guest reveals his estranged father—absent for over 30 years—has just shown up with a one-way ticket and no place to stay. While prepping picklebacks and debating the physics of t********g, the crew steps back to offer raw, unfiltered advice on family, forgiveness, and the questions you may never get to ask. All this, plus a urgent meteorological theory on why Florida might be safe from hurricanes. Ring in 2026 with the most chaotic and heartfelt countdown you'll hear.
Stabby Stabby, Weed Shots, and Ghosting
2025/12/18
What do a celebrity murder case, 100-day sobriety bets, ceramic car coatings, and the ethics of ghosting have in common? Absolutely nothing—and that’s exactly the point. Grab a seat (and maybe a weed soda) as the guys jump from true crime to dating apps, from disc golf fails to 90s music deep cuts, in a conversation that proves the best talks happen when there’s no plan at all. No topic is safe, and no segue is required.
Vibrators for Pussies: Two Dicks in a Bar
2025/12/11
Our mission is simple: use ridiculous, NSFW charity events to raise money for cat rescues. Our podcast is everything else. Co-hosts and brewery reps Dan and Mike are the masterminds behind the "Vibrator Roadshow," a traveling spectacle of battery-powered madness. Each week, they drag the microphone to a different bar to recap the races, plan the next event, and get spectacularly sidetracked with the locals. It's a mix of grassroots activism, South Florida nightlife, and the kind of meandering, hilarious bar talk that only happens after a few rounds. Tune in for the cause, stay for the chaos.
Podcast reviews
Read Two Dicks in a Bar podcast reviews
Jamest247 2020/02/09
At the Bar
Like so many times before I find that alcohol fueled conversation is intriguing. These ramblings are no exception. Wish I could have been there in the...
Jwalcutt 2020/01/27
Funny stuff
It’s my podcast so.....Yeah I kinda might be biased, but when I listen to check sound quality and see where we can do better I find myself laughing ou...
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