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“I’m tired of consulting on films, I hunger for god-humiliation! Dal’s moon landing suffers delays. Ishmael finds the perfect double. Jackie becomes an artist. Beck acquires nuclear weapons. Von Braun vows to spit in the face of god. CW: deadly workplace situations, really oblique allusions to MKULTRA Transcripts here Find cast info, links and transcripts at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam Promo this episode was for Neoscum, a narrative comedy podcast featuring five Chicago improvisers antagonizing their way through the roleplaying classic, Shadowrun. Find out more here CAST Salvatore Fabbiano was Twobrick Dennis Bruno was Neil Armstrong And Mike Giordano was Michael Collins Chloe Zwaicher was Beck Julie Snyder was Jackie Noel Naczi was Ishmael Meredith Gulley was Dal John Serpico was the Chief Dennis Bruno was the Memo Marc Campasano was Werner Von Braun Ramy Abdelgani was Kubrick CREW Written by Max Kreisky, Katherine Cargill and Eric Trageser Sound design by Hedley Knights and Beth Crane Directed and Produced by Max Kreisky Logo Design by Tom Crowley Theme by Arnie Parrot Recorded at The Bridge Sound and Stage in Somerville, Massachusetts Special thanks to Illuminati nuke suppliers Beth Crane, Jess Pfohl and Jonathan Kreisky Phony Executive Producers Nick Krasney Denise Grenier Alex Hensley Laura Isham Mariclair Bennet Steven Rutkowsi And Lilit Penrod made this show possible, and for this their names shall be enshrined for a thousand years. After that, there is a maintenance fee.

“You’re making me hate the moon!” Jackie searches for the perfect rock. Astronauts tussle. Dal learns how a radio works. Ishmael eats a sandwich. CW: deadly workplace situations, things from scripture Special thanks to Beth Crane! Transcripts here Find cast info, links and transcripts at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam Promo this episode was for Crowley Time, a sketch comedy podcast, featuring characters and messages in bottles plucked from unknown shores, written and performed by Tom Crowley. You can find out more here CAST Chloe Zwaicher was Beck Julie Snyder was Jackie Noel Naczi was Ishmael Meredith Gulley was Dal John Serpico was the Chief Dennis Bruno was the Memo Marc Campasano was Werner Von Braun Salvatore Fabbiano was Twobrick Dennis Bruno was Neil Armstrong Alex Roy was Buzz Aldrin And Mike Giordano was Michael Collins CREW Written by Max Kreisky, Katherine Cargill and Eric Trageser Sound design by Hedley Knights and Beth Crane Directed and Produced by Max Kreisky Logo Design by Tom Crowley Theme by Arnie Parrot Recorded at The Bridge Sound and Stage in Somerville, Massachusetts Special thanks to Managers of Stretch’s Billiards Beth Crane, Jess Pfohl and Jonathan Kreisky Phony Executive Producers Nick Krasney Denise Grenier Alex Hensley Laura Isham Mariclair Bennet Steven Rutkowsi And Lilit Penrod made this show possible, and for this their likenesses will be carved into the face of the moon itself. Real small. But they’re up there!

“How was this guy not already in the illuminati?” Jay Gatsby takes it on the arches. Beck prevents a catastrophic leak. Dal fights mirrors. The Pen decides what’s marketable. The Chief reads Dune. Cw: deadly workplace situations, heavy references to the Kubrick filmography Special thanks to Beth Crane! Transcripts here Find cast info, links and transcripts at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam CAST Chloe Zwaicher was Beck Julie Snyder was Jackie Noel Naczi was Ishmael Meredith Gulley was Dal John Serpico was the Chief Dennis Bruno was the Memo Marc Campasano was Werner Von Braun Ramy Abdelghani was Stanley Kubrick’s perfectly imitated voice Salvatore Fabbiano was Twobrick Stuart Licht was The Pen And Eric Trageser was Jay Gatsby CREW Written by Max Kreisky, Katherine Cargill and Eric Trageser Sound design by Hedley Knights and Beth Crane Directed and Produced by Max Kreisky Logo Design by Tom Crowley Theme by Arnie Parrot Recorded at The Bridge Sound and Stage in Somerville, Massachusetts Special thanks to Violent Apes Beth Crane, Jess Pfohl and Jonathan Kreisky. We hope they feel incredible. Phony Executive Producers Nick Krasney Denise Grenier Alex Hensley Laura Isham Mariclair Bennet Steven Rutkowsi And Lilit Penrod made this show possible, and for this history will be quietly rewritten with them as the victors

Beck is asked to build a library for the Secret Occult Knowledge. Imhotep is bribed into constructing a tall pointy thing with the promise of birds. Jackie and Ishmael see the inside of a head. CW: deadly workplace situations Transcript Here Find cast info, links and more at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam

Beck and Ishmael plumb the depths of aristocratic depravity. Jackie and Dal bond over their hobbies. A swan is complicit in a murder. The crew fails to sneak into a fort under cover of horses. CW: deadly workplace situations, gross kissing [Transcript Here] (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aaJbdByzf-Q1IkDF88bUwMRLP-EsyIvCFrFuca8Gsk4/edit?usp=sharing) Find cast info, links and transcripts at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam

Imhotep and Ishmael make the safest gamble. Beck and co steal from a hole in the ground. Jackie crafts the ultimate fantasy adventure experience. A camel finds his family. CW: deadly workplace situations, snakes and snake-adjacent violence, endings Transcript Here Stick around after the credits to hear news on season 2 Find cast info, links and transcripts at truetalesteam.com, or follow us on twitter for more illuminati content @truetalesteam

Trailer Your long wait is over! 2 years after our premiere, we finally have a trailer! Try out a taste of the True Tales experience without committing yourself to a half-hour or longer episode! Impress your friends! Frighten your enemies! Mystify your pets! Transcript Here Featuring Chloe Zwiacher as Beck Julie Snyder as Jackie Noel Naczi as Ishmael Theme by Arnie Parrot

https://kakosindustries.com/

Help us make Season 2! Beck, Jackie and Ishmael must track down a vital piece of Illuminati knowledge at the Library of Constantinople. We’re back! Welcome to the first of three mini-episodes that we’re releasing to promote our crowdfund to make season 2! You can find out more here https://igg.me/at/truetalesteam. Transcript here

Help Us Make Season 2! Beck, Jackie, Ishmael and Dal are on the job to install a puppet ruler in ancient Gordia. Will they untangle the ancient knot? Or perhaps... themselves? Welcome to the second of three mini-episodes that we’re releasing to promote our crowdfund to make season 2! You can find out more here https://igg.me/at/truetalesteam. Transcript here

We did it! We've hit our fundraising goal and that means that we get to share our final - and best- minisode with you! Please enjoy Beth Crane's For the Chop ------------------------------------------------------------------- Beck and co find themselves in the court of Henry VIII, and, tasked with out-maneuvering his divine right of kings, hatch a plan to plant a cuckoo's egg right in the King's nest. Meanwhile, Ishmael trains his new intern, Dal hisses advice into the King's ear, Queen Jane tries to escape her fate and Jackie finds herself consumed by jealousy. Transcript Here Beck - Chloe Zwaicher Jackie - Julie Snyder Ishmael - Noel Naczi King Henry - Brice Stratford Queen Jane - Beth Crane

Episode Notes Welcome to our Kakos Industries/True Tales of the Illuminati crossover episode! We are almost done with season 2 and it is coming to your feed very soon, but in the meantime, we wanted to do a collaboration with Kakos Industries because we love their show and we thought it would be super fun to do. So enjoy as these dark and evil conspiracies meet each other in our crossover episode, right here on your feed. If you enjoyed this episode, you can hear more of this inter-company saga over on the Kakos Industires feed, in episode 130: Illumination. Find Kakos Industries on any podcasting service, or at KakosIndustries.com Transcript for this episode is here