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👀 Ok that was a bit dramatic. The person asking the question for today’s episode isn’t considering cancelling her friendship, however she does want help in protecting her kids from the toxic views her friend holds on body image. I suggested the following: Having a convo about it with your kid(s) when your friend isn’t around Empathising with your friend Asking your friend for support Have a listen so you can learn the exact wording (and adapt where needed) to help you use your courage to have an uncomfortable conversation with a loved one. What is a silent connection breaker (3:53) What to say to your kid(s) about your friend’s views (5:44) How to empathise with your friend (7:54) Formula to have that difficult convo and ask for help (9:38) If you need support with handling your emotions, your kids or any adult’s in your life The Evolved Family Method is for you. You’re invited to join our community, so note your interest here. Free body image resource

In this episode you’re going to learn how to educate yourself so you can have sensitive convos with your stepson who has come out to you as trans. Firstly, what a privilege it is that your stepson has trusted you with this information about himself. And it’s beautiful that you’ve accepted this and want to learn how best to support him going forwards. In this episode I share 3 things to help you prepare for this change so you can be there for your step kid or any sort of kid, and learn how to talk to a trans kid about sensitive things. Want to skip ahead? Learn to celebrate your different experiences (7:02) An honour and prompt to re-educate self (8:46) Book Resources (10:50) Sex is a funny word by Cory Silverberg & Fiona Smith The ABCs of LGBT+ by Ashley Mardel  Trans+ by Kathryn Gonzales & Karen Rayne Gender Explorers by Juno Roche www.genderspectrum.org And it makes sense that if you’ve never had acceptance and unconditional support modelled to you this situation can be extremely challenging because it is very complex and can bring up various emotions within us. In particular fear and maybe even your own painful experiences of rejection. This is why I have The Evolve School. It not only helps you learn how to talk to your kid(s) about ANYthing sensitive but it also helps you learn how to be kind to yourself as you learn new skills to help you build an evolved communicating family. So if you feel that you could do with further support leave your details here and I’ll be in touch when we next open.

Today's question is ‘Should I shower naked in front of my kids? What about my husband?’ This parent is asking for help in deciding what is best for her kids. However, as much as I offer my tools and experience, only you can have the final say in what is best for you and your kids. So I’m sharing 3 things to consider when asking what the right thing to do is in a situation like this: Your nervous system. How does it feel? Does it feel safe or dangerous? Again, how does it feel? Is your decision being influenced by society’s rules about gender and what is and isn’t acceptable? Honest storytelling The Evolved Family Method is a complete method that supports families to have conversations about every sort of sensitive topic in a way that builds deeper connection with growing kids. Nakedness is about how we feel, how we actually feel, not what our kids need. But if we’re operating from past experiences, how we feel may not reflect how we want to show up as parents. So using the Kindness pillar of the Method I share tools and techniques with you so you can learn principles on how to nourish your nervous system and how to reprogram how it feels around things to do with sensitive stuff, nakedness, and all that stuff. Because at the end of the day, we're here to do better perhaps than what our natural inclination might be or what we experienced growing up. As at the date of this podcast being released The Evolved School is open. So if you’re interested in joining me and other parents like you, get in touch today. Here’s to raising your caring and confident young person to respect themselves and those around them. Until next week, x Sarah

You’ve been trusted with some new information about your tween and you’ve been over to Google to get help and come up short. What now? In this week’s episode we’re diving into the courage and growth pillars to learn how we can continue building our evolved communicating family. Connection is such an important piece of the foundation and will support the rest. Have a listen as this episode, although answering a question about how to handle your tween’s sexual orientation provides information that can be used time and time again, no matter the topic. Tongue-tied parenting effect (2:37) Is giving the information more important than the connection with your kid? (3:59) How can we apologise? Is it necessary? (6:14) Book resources (10:43) Let’s Talk About It by Erika Moen & Matthew Nolan Wait, what? by Heather Corrina Sex Educated by Grace Alice O’Shea & Sexual Health West The Evolve School Doors are open! You can learn how to build deeper connections whilst talking about sensitive stuff, really complex stuff, related to sex, bodies and relationships through The Evolved Family Method. With practical support & skills you’ll get the tools to help you raise your confident, caring and respectful young person. Learn more here about what is involved and join us if it calls to you.

This week we’re finding out how to talk to your primary school aged kid(s) about an uncle who’s transitioning into an aunt. It’s totally understandable if strong emotions are present as this is a sensitive topic that can impact more than just your family. Your parenting community may be affected too, and how might they feel if your kid starts telling their kid this new info? The bottom line is you want to do your best for your kid(s), but you’re not sure what that looks like or how to even do it? So in this episode we use the growth pillar to cover layering, gender expression, acceptance, and pronouns. How to layer information [5:06] What is Gender Expression [6:33] Practising Pronouns [11:03] Who Are You: The Kid’s Guide to Gender Identity - Brook Pessin-Whedbee I hope this helps you but if you find you need more support please do get yourself on the list for The Evolve School. x Sarah Ps. If you’d like to discover how to give your kid the openness about sensitive topics that you didn’t have growing up, click the link in my bio 👉 @iamsarahsproule Visit www.sarahSproule.com/Masterclass to save your spot on the Build More Connection Masterclass ♥️ it’s free x

Do you know what you would say to your 7 & 10 yr old if they found intimate photos of you, that you had taken for your partner, on your phone? That’s the question I’m answering today. What to do and say as Mum’s feeling embarrassed. This is a beautiful opportunity to teach. It’s also a great opportunity for you to learn and practice skills that help you notice when your unhelpful unconscious beliefs are impacting your ability to connect with your kid(s). Kindness for yourself is so important when this happens. Have a listen to the episode to find out my 3 tips on what to say and how to handle this situation. x Sarah

Part of parenting is protecting our kid(s) and sometimes this looks like providing them with information that makes us uncomfortable because it’s horrible and unpleasant. So how do we give them important information when it’s horrible and unpleasant? How do keep their view of the world intact whilst simultaneously alerting them to the horrors that are also present? In today’s episode I’m answering a question about child sexual abuse. More specifically, how to tell your young kid about it so you can help protect them. There are a range of skills that you’re being called to access here, and if you don’t have them please don’t beat yourself up. This is not something that is taught. There’s no “How to be a parent” guide or a handbook that helps us to ‘get it 100% right’. There are 3 things I’m sharing that I hope will help you in having this convo. I’m also sharing 7 books to support you as well, because let’s face it even if we’re speaking our kid’s language there are so many different ways we can say something so we all want to do our best in this respect. Another key element to consider before having this convo is where you stand. What beliefs do you have about kids who experience sexual abuse? Have you had an experience (directly or indirectly) that you haven’t dealt with? This is such a complex and layered topic so go easy on yourself when approaching it. I really hope these resources and this episode helps you in maintaining your kid(s) innocence whilst giving them the info they need to stay safe in this world. Until next episode, x Sarah

Udders (a functional part of cows, lambs, goats) produce milk in the same way that breasts (a functional part of women) produce milk for tiny humans. Do you think cows, lambs, or goats shame other cows, lambs or goats when feeding their young, just because farmers also milk them for dairy milk? Because breasts are also used for sexual pleasure, they should be kept hidden, covered up and not be seen outside of specific environments. Despite their original, natural function of feeding newborn babies. This week’s podcast answers a Mum’s question of how to answer her 2-year-olds questions around breastfeeding as she is expecting baby no.2 soon. With her first daughter she bottle fed if in public or went to a private room. Let me just say that these options are totally ok, if they are your choice. However, a mother who has been taught that her breasts should remain private and hidden, EVEN, when providing food for her kid, is being shamed and made to feel embarrassed about a natural, everyday thing. So this episode is made to help the Mama’s with inquisitive 2-year-olds that want to know why Mummy is putting a boobie/breast/(insert word used) in their sibling’s mouth. I share how you can satisfy any questions they have whilst building a foundational connection. My answers, also potentially, bring you some comfort if you’re facing your own feelings (maybe shame/embarrassment/discomfort) around breasts and breastfeeding. A lot of the work we do around building connections with our kid(s) involves us taking a look at what we believe and what we were taught. This can be very uncomfortable. So remember to be kind to yourself and get ready for some surefire ways to support you in a situation like this. As always if you’re needing some extra support do reach out via https://www.instagram.com/iamsarahsproule/ or join the The Evolve School waitlist. Until next time. x Sarah Shownotes Book: Milky by Agnes Saccani & Maria Betsworth - www.milkmakingmamas.co.uk IG: @MilkMakingMama

My 4 yr old is asking about my pills and I don't know what to tell them!” The thing that scientists and our kids have in common is their curiosity devoid of judgment. They seek information to give them an understanding. Whereas most of us are conditioned to attach our preconceived ideas to information. Minimal information in a situation like this is similar to stonewalling and the opposite of building connection. So what can we do instead? Practicing layering is a good place to start. Our kid is constantly gathering info and so we can give this info to them in small bite sizes, often. It’s also beneficial to remember that we’re also learning info about ourselves and that can sometimes be just as shocking as the questions we get asked. So we get to choose to be kind to ourselves and show compassion for where we are as we move towards where we want to be as parents. Let’s also introduce some fun. How can we move from this being an awkward convo to it being informative and interesting for us and our kid(s). We can offer our kid info in a way that builds connection, soothes our nervous system and gives them age-appropriate information. You can find me over on https://www.instagram.com/iamsarahsproule/ to let me know how you get on and if these pointers were helpful. x Sarah

There can be a lot of conflicting advice around raising kids.  So who do we listen to when our kid, along with his friends, has been asking other kids to pull down their pants to see their g******s?  Immediately we might think: Omg, my kid is pressuring other kids to do things they don’t want to do!  Will he not ask for consent when he’s older?  What kind of kid have I raised? I’ve failed! What will other parents say? [insert your own immediate reaction] And anything that comes up is valid. Because we know what the world outside of our homes is like. However, it’s also important to remember that behaviour is communication.  So, no you haven’t failed!  Our kid is just letting us know, through his actions, that he needs more information. So, how do we get him the information he needs to understand consent and respecting other people’s bodies? This episode gives you 3 options you can use with your 6yo to give him the information that he needs. Of course, first ruling out that there is nothing untoward happening to him or his friends, such as an adult having asked them to pull down their pants, and then we can practice consent and respect in a safe and loving space.  You’re encouraged to remember that raising confident and caring kids is not always easy.  So please do be kind to yourself.  Especially if you didn’t have many role models for this style of parenting. If that’s the case for you my diary is open to have a chat about the specific needs of you and your family.  Visit www.sarahsproule.com/bio to book a chat with me here. Until next week’s episode of Sitting in a Car, x Sarah

No you weren’t wrong.  We do need to have sensitive convos with our kids that provide them with information that they will need as they grow. But what a lot of experts miss is that to have these kinds of convos  we need to establish and have nurtured a connection with our kid. The same connection we had with them as babies isn’t the exact same one they need now.  So in learning new skills & strategies,  we can grow with them and maintain our connections. Have a listen to this week’s podcast and let me know if you found it helpful.  As always, if you need more support in any part of your parenting The Evolve School would love to help you care for your kid. Join the waitlist here, www.sarahsproule.com/evolve  and I'll be in touch before the next enrollment.  x Sarah