Advertise on podcast: Espresso

Anyone else remember 50 Cent climbing 3 stories of rusty scaffolding on MTV Spring Break with a  G-Unit chain on or did i make that up in my head?? We talk about the REAL reasons you ended ur situationship 😭 was it bc she spelled the word Texas wrong? Maybe. To make it make even less sense we hear a wild story about senior slideshow Polaroids in the high school cafeteria HUHHH? luh u fam cya sunday for Livestream💃🏻------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ -------------------------------------------------

Pouring a venty cup of pumpkin cold foam on your back while a Mitsubishi Eclipse runs over your shoulder blades is actually exactly what I need right now. wHaT dO yOu wAnT mE tO dO tO yOu Put Texas Roadhouse cinnamon butter on my traps and hit me in the back with a tube sock full of marbles. Stop acting like sitting on a warm cookie wouldn't be the best feeling in the gd world. Love you fam 🫦 see ya for the livestream on sundeeeee------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ -------------------------------------------------

How did you actually meet your best friend? If they weren't wearing a starter jacket or you didn't absolutely hate them you're not actual friends babe 👯 ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ ------------------------------------------------- *TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS* *0:00 - Intro**7:25 - How Do You Meet Your Best Friend?**9:00 - Childhood Best-Friend Origin Stories**18:03 - The Random Celebrity Question**21:42 - Becoming Friends When Someone Falls Down**29:26 - “Bro, Did You Study?” College Friendships**33:18 - How Fashion Creates Instant Connections**36:02 - When Hating Someone Turns Into Friendship**39:42 - The Starbucks Best-Friend Story**45:19 - Why Seeing Someone Be Dumb Builds Trust**49:12 - Becoming Best Friends Over Food**54:24 - The Family Dinner With Almost No Food**59:18 - Sneaking a Friend Into the House**1:07:46 - Meeting Your Best Friend at a Strip Club**1:13:02 - College Classes, Gym Friends & Lifelong Friendships*

You haven't truly had an eating disorder until you eat ten bunless Big Macs with a knife and fork 😙  Today we remember why high school kids are the most ruthless people on earth and why putting Pepto-Bismol in your math teacher's coffee is rat tail kid activity. Don't act like you wouldn't sign up for a government-funded week of going back to high school at age 35 just so you can cater lunch from Qdoba and depants your bois in the hallway 😎 Love ya fam see ya sunday🫡 ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ ------------------------------------------------- **TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS** **0:00 - Intro****2:40 - Leaving your car running for four hours while substitute teaching****5:35 - Playing indoor ruler baseball with Mr. Bogardis****7:50 - Mrs. Anderson and the hair scarf showdown****9:00 - Proposing high school week for thirty-five-year-olds****12:15 - Hiring pale nerds and the situational hotness trap****17:45 - The substitute teacher with a pet flea in a locket****21:45 - Art class prop comedy and calling the ice cream shop on a stapler****25:50 - Turning in your Scratten and religion class junk resituating****29:10 - Mr. French's Assateague Island elementary camping trip****36:05 - Searing cream cheese bagels on the bottom of a dirty shoe****38:50 - Shuffling I hate Miss Phillips messages onto math quizzes****42:20 - Spotting the Chris Farley lookalike sub eating wings at Hooters****46:30 - Native American lesbian PE teachers screaming about untied shoes****52:40 - Off pizza for four months and fighting the pizza demons**

Today we go through the ones who got away 💔 it can be the blonde girl who wanted you on your business trip or literally when the timberwolves passed on steph curry 😭 is it the time you missed the Schwan's Ice cream truck outside? Or when the college QB kissed you at a party freshman year and never saw his sexy ahhh again?  If you fumbled your first kiss bc your homies kept calling you about your fantasy football draft it's not a missed connection it just means your for the boiiis😏 Love you fam ☕️ See you on Livestream Sunday Tahhaaa

If u don't shave your best friend's leg with your bare foot while sleeping next to them are you even friends? What if I told you I stole 72 egg whites out of a Whole Foods soup container and got cornered by self-checkout security lady? We break down how to run an illicit grocery twist-tie bead ring syndicate at a summer daycare and hold back the urge from buying  a black-market Barney VHS all while pretending we didn't HOUSE five stolen grilled cheese sandwiches in the Menards break room. KISS ME WHERE I STAND 🫡 Luv u fam🙏 See ya on Patreon this sunday 😏 ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ -------------------------------------------------

The Fam put on a CLINIC with voice msgs this week 🫡  I'm still trying to decide if eating green ketchup meatloaf makes you a complete lunatic or a straight up visionary. BTW THIS IS A PRO PEAS PODCAST🫛 IF YOU DON'T LIKE PEAS GTFO. Quick question you tryna dig holes in an empty lot sometime?  Luh U💕------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ -------------------------------------------------

Brb gotta hotbox a house from the underground railroad taaahaaa 😮‍💨 On this ep we learn Swae Lee has baby pigs and eating macaroni off of Tupperware lids at your weird friend's house builds character. Btw if you don't fake wash your hands in the bathroom and pretend to like ur divorced dad's fat-free tortilla chips and beans this isn't the pod for you bbygrl 💋 P.S. Kiss me everyday ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ -------------------------------------------------

No we don’t get emotional when the Chainsmokers plays in our AirPods at the gym?? This weeks Q Q Q Question of the week: What’s ur REAL heartbreak? When u called off ur wedding? or when Tyrese Haliburton tore his Achilles? ehem💔 tahaaaaa  ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ -------------------------------------------------

You ever eat 3 dry Taco Bell cantina bowls on the side of the road with your hazard lights on? U ever lock eyes with ur gf's fully naked 73 year old dad on all fours? Me neither 👀 We try to figure out why German chocolate cake looks like baby throw up and how using Grand Theft Auto cheat codes are the only way to satisfy your girl. Oh hey we know you pee in public locker room showers just admit it. P.S. if the top of ur gf's head doesn't smell exactly like a fresh pot of Velveeta macaroni she's not ur gf 🧀------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ -------------------------------------------------

Killing thousands of mad guests on Rollercoaster Tycoon and installing a functioning toilet directly into your car passenger seat? Sounds like a spress pod to me babe. We’re ending our lives over Olive Garden refusing to make garlic bread bowls and why can’t we pull up to an AMC theater to watch the super bowl? One sec i’m scheduling a robot to walk my dog at 1:30pm🦮 ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ -------------------------------------------------

Air hockeying nuts into a kid's mouth at the lunch table and screaming at your coworker's dog is just what happens when you finally stop pretending. We realize putting Pop-Tarts in the freezer is a crime against humanity and throwing down a five dollar bill for Little Caesars pizza is the ultimate flex. Stop acting like you don’t sneak 8 leftover donuts from your car after a first date and blast divorced dad rock otw home ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ ------------------------------------------------- TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS 0:00 - Intro3:24 - Fruit punch is the worst flavor8:08 - Air hockeying nuts into a kid's mouth9:35 - Putting Pop-Tarts in the freezer13:11 - Done pretending about hockey games20:41 - Fast food limited time items32:33 - Seth Rogen is not a good actor33:14 - The zig zag hair part39:20 - Asking how is everything45:02 - Pretending to care about your dog52:30 - Quitting your eighth grade math job57:28 - Glazing divorced dad rock59:44 - Apple watch rings and running stats1:08:05 - Ozempic weight loss shortcuts1:12:10 - Little Caesars is the best pizza -------------------------------------------------

Taking football snaps underneath the lowest object possible and telling customer service reps u love them is how you commit to the bit. Stop acting like you don't spam Monster Mash seventeen times on tuchtunes at the bar while secretly pretending to be a sex shop employee on phone calls with your boys. ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ ------------------------------------------------- TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS 0:00 - Intro4:01 - What is your bit7:54 - Screaming is that a beer9:46 - Blaming farts on the dog16:07 - Cracking on people with your boys19:44 - Public property fridge leftovers30:33 - Big shoes Kevin at the gym32:35 - Taking football snaps anywhere45:44 - The sex shop employee phone pitch50:26 - Chips and salsa at the Italian restaurant53:50 - Stealing raisins after the salt trick54:39 - Spamming Monster Mash on TouchTunes1:02:11 - Saying mine as well ironically1:13:16 - The McDonald's parfait calorie scam1:17:01 - Holding hands at Catholic church

Eating ground turkey birthday dog food and sucking the ink out of a gold gel pen is exactly what happens when you get completely faded on a Tuesday. We are losing our minds over why having a baby with Caitlin Clark is strictly a business decision and how sleeping in a water bed is the ultimate flex. P.S. I'm tired of acting like circus peanuts don't absolutely slap😘  ------------------------------------------------- Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/ ------------------------------------------------- TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS 0:00 - Intro1:16 - Fboy Island and Patreon2:53 - What is your hear me out6:41 - The jelly donut agenda8:06 - Cooking birthday dog food11:12 - Patio furniture in the living room12:36 - Fumbling the eighth grade aim voicemail16:52 - Sleeping in a Murphy bed20:51 - Crushing Cheetos into a PB and J31:33 - Circus peanuts and black licorice43:42 - Fox McCloud from Super Mario Galaxy46:30 - Aggressive foxes as house pets54:53 - Local news weather girls59:40 - Yellow mustard on avocados1:03:53 - Stale chips are better than fresh -------------------------------------------------

Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi  ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/