Advertise on podcast: The Love Doctor

Today on the show, I’m talking to the host of the Rethinking Manhood podcast, Destyn Land. Destyn and I discuss men and sex. Sounds simple but when you start to layer in shame, silence, and how by grade 3 you’re already comparing penis size–it gets a lot more complicated. I first saw Destyn’s work when a friend shared one of his posts on Instagram. It was a beautiful piece about men and how society has created this pressure to prove how “straight” you are. This could be by catcalling women or making homophobic comments. Destyn’s posts are always thoughtful, well researched and when I found out he had a podcast, I just had to listen. Resources from the Show Destyn Land: @destynforgreatness Rethinking Manhood Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3bQw3DWTRuCmlGXFvYrVya?si=c26149d4a7474d36 (https://open.spotify.com/show/3bQw3DWTRuCmlGXFvYrVya?si=c26149d4a7474d36) Instagram: @rethinkingmanhood Boys and Sex by Peggy Orenstein: https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex (https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex) Euphoria on Crave Heartstopper on Netflix and Comics Bi-erasure definition: https://www.glaad.org/bisexual The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by bell hooks

Today on the show, I have brought back a crowd favourite—my husband, Levi Hildebrand. Levi and I talk about our experience of using Fertility Awareness Method over the past 8 months and the impact not being on birth control has had on our sex life. We also do a bit of a deep dive on masculinity and how just now Levi feels like he is choosing what that means for himself. Resources from the show! Levi Hildebrand Instagram: @levihildebrand Levi and Leah YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LeviHildebrand Boys and Sex by Peggy Orenstein: https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex Come As You Are by Dr. Emily Nagoski : https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22609341-come-as-you-are

Today on the show, I am answering your questions about opening up relationships and BDSM. But I’m not answering them alone. I am honoured to share my interview with Registered Clinical Counsellor, Sarah Watson, who helps me navigate your questions surrounding trauma and sexuality. References from the Show! Sarah Watson: https://sarahwatsontherapy.com/ (https://sarahwatsontherapy.com/) Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/9547888-attached Polysecure by Jessica Fern: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52569124-polysecure Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Come-as-You-Are/Emily-Nagoski/9781476762111 Allura Website $50 webinars: Sex and Trauma : https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5b162a5675f9ee6cc62c56b5/t/61a68fc8cdbab21c1afb1d71/1638305736878/Sex+%2B+Trauma+Flyer.pdf Self Harm Resources: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm Sexual Configurations Theory: https://www.academia.edu/37691857/_SCT_Zine_Mapping_Your_Sexuality_From_Sexual_Orientation_to_Sexual_Configurations_Theory Sue Johnson: A(ccessible)R(esponsive)E(ngaged) you there for me? Debunking 5 Common Myths About Kink: https://www.slice.ca/sex-sessions-art-debunking-common-myths-about-kink/ 5 Things Science Has Taught Us About BDSM: https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2021/8/16/5-things-science-has-taught-us-about-bdsm/ (https://www.sexandpsychology.com/blog/2021/8/16/5-things-science-has-taught-us-about-bdsm/) B.C.’s Capital City Leads the Country in Trans and Non-binary Representation: https://www.coastmountainnews.com/news/b-c-s-capital-city-leads-the-country-in-trans-and-non-binary-representation/ (https://www.coastmountainnews.com/news/b-c-s-capital-city-leads-the-country-in-trans-and-non-binary-representation/)

Today on the show, I am sharing my interview with Farzana Doctor where we talk about non-monogamy, what sexuality looks like in your 40s, and what it means to be a quote unquote “good woman.” We also discuss her new book that is a collection of poetry, You Still Look the Same. I particularly resonated with her poem Boundaries and I know it’s a topic a lot of folks have asked me about. Resources from the Show! Farzana Doctor: https://farzanadoctor.com/ You Still Look The Same Discount Code: use DOCTOR20 at check-out at https://freehand-books.com/ (https://freehand-books.com) Audiobook link: https://libro.fm/audiobooks/9781778520648 Seven Link: https://farzanadoctor.com/seven/ Interview with Farzana in Season 2: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-love-doctor/id1519672109?i=1000536137699 Burnout by Nagoski sisters: https://www.burnoutbook.net/ Internal Family Systems therapy: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/internal-family-systems-therapy Polysecure by Jessica Fern: ​​https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52569124-polysecure Metamour definition: https://www.polydictionary.org/metamour/

Today on the show, we are talking about what you missed in your high school sex education and how puppets may be the best way to talk about sex. In our first ever group interview on the podcast, I talk to Hannah Mariko Bell, Sophie Underwood, and Kiley Verbowski, about our experience co-creating the play Going All The Way. We talk about our own experiences with sex education and how creating art has helped us navigate our own sexual journeys. Resources from the Show! Going All The Way Tickets: http://skam.ca/going-all-the-way (skam.ca/going-all-the-way) Theatre SKAM: https://skam.ca/ What is Intersectionality? Kimberlé Crenshaw: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViDtnfQ9FHcandab_channel=NationalAssociationofIndependentSchools%28NAIS%29 Schitt's Creek Star Dan Levy on Playing Pansexual: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4IXXM0A6vgandab_channel=LarryKing Schitt's Creek Wine Analogy Scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrHYlJTqud0andab_channel=RozCoreyClark Japanese Fertility Festivals: https://allabout-japan.com/en/article/4349/

Today on the show, we are talking all about dicks. Like why is erectile dysfunction so common? Can you become dependent on Viagra? And can you still have sex after you ejaculate? To help me answer your questions about dicks, I share my interview with sex therapist and clinical sexual health educator, Paul Nelson. Paul emphasizes that sexual health education should address the entire self and how for many cisgender men, they think it’s only about their dicks. We also talk about how common erectile dysfunction is and the work Paul does as part of Maze Men’s Health. Resources from the Show! Paul Nelson at Maze Men’s Health: https://www.mazemenshealth.com/ (https://www.mazemenshealth.com/) Instagram: @mazemenshealth Frank Talk: Men Talking About Erectile Dysfunction: https://www.franktalk.org/ (https://www.franktalk.org/) Maze Sexual and Reproductive Health: mazehealth.com Minx T.V. Show: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11947418/ American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists: https://www.aasect.org/ Boys and Sex by Peggy Orenstein: https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex (https://www.peggyorenstein.com/boysandsex) The History of The Man Box: https://remakingmanhood.medium.com/the-history-of-the-man-box-e6eed6d895c4 (https://remakingmanhood.medium.com/the-history-of-the-man-box-e6eed6d895c4) International Index of Erectile Dysfunction: https://www.browardurologycenter.com/pdf/International-Index-of-Erectile-Function-IIEF-Questionnaire.pdf (https://www.browardurologycenter.com/pdf/International-Index-of-Erectile-Function-IIEF-Questionnaire.pdf) The Psychology of Human Sexuality: https://nobaproject.com/modules/the-psychology-of-human-sexuality (https://nobaproject.com/modules/the-psychology-of-human-sexuality) The Sexual Medicine Society of North America: https://www.smsna.org/

Today on the show, I am talking about the Don’t Say Gay bill in Florida and why not talking about sexual orientation and gender identity is a bad idea for ALL kids, regardless of how they identify. I also share my interview with queer artist, sexual health educator, and doula, Simone Blais. Simone and I discuss the importance of peer to peer education, how we are constantly learning as educators ourselves, and she has basically convinced me that anyone who is wanting to have a child should have a doula. And there are ways to make that happen with support from our communities. Resources from the Show! Simone Blais: https://www.simone-blais.com/about (https://www.simone-blais.com/about) BEDucated link: http://beducate.me/thelovedoctor (http://beducate.me/thelovedoctor) Coupon Code: LOVEDOCTOR Nesting Doula Collective: https://www.nestingdoulacollective.com/ Florida Legislature Passes “Don’t Say Gay” Bill to Restrict LGBTQ Topics in Elementary Schools: https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/florida-bassed-don-t-say-gay-bill-lgbtq-schools-1.6377169 (https://www.cbc.ca/news/world/florida-bassed-don-t-say-gay-bill-lgbtq-schools-1.6377169) What is the US State of Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” Bill? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/what-is-the-us-state-of-florida-e2-80-99s-so-called-e2-80-98don-e2-80-99t-say-gay-e2-80-99-bill/ar-AAVsjrA Native Youth Sexual Health Network: https://www.nativeyouthsexualhealth.com/ (https://www.nativeyouthsexualhealth.com/) Sexy Health Carnival: https://www.nativeyouthsexualhealth.com/sexy-health-carnival Options for Sexual Health Sex Sense Line: 1-800-739-7367 https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/sex-sense/ Island Sexual Health Texting Line: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/ British Columbia Curriculum on Sexual Health: https://www.curriculum.gov.bc.ca/sites/curriculum.gov.bc.ca/files/curriculum/physical-health-education/en_physical-health-education_k-9.pdf

Today on the show, we are talking all things polyamory. But hey, monogamous folks don’t feel like this isn’t also for you! Regardless of relationship orientation, we all have a lot to learn about communication, boundaries, and living authentically from the polyamory community and I have the perfect guest to guide us in this conversation. I share my interview with polyamory expert, relationship anarchist, and one of the main faces of PolyPages, Claire Travers. Claire and I talk about whether or not polyamory is right for you–or rather, why are you questioning monogamy? We also dive into a very important question: is polyamory queer? Resources from the Show! http://www.polypages.org/ (www.polypages.org) https://www.instagram.com/polypages/ (Poly Pages (@polypages) • Instagram photos and videos) http://www.clairelouisetravers.co.uk/ (www.clairelouisetravers.co.uk) Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Non-Monogamy by Jessica Fern https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52569124-polysecure (https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52569124-polysecure) Amatonormativity: https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/ Sexual Configurations Theory Zine: Mapping Your Sexuality https://www.academia.edu/37691857/_SCT_Zine_Mapping_Your_Sexuality_From_Sexual_Orientation_to_Sexual_Configurations_Theory (https://www.academia.edu/37691857/_SCT_Zine_Mapping_Your_Sexuality_From_Sexual_Orientation_to_Sexual_Configurations_Theory)

Today on the show, I’m giving you my perspective on the Freedom Convoy (I’m so sorry, it’s a whole thing and I have received a ton of questions about it!) and answering your questions on how to not compare yourself to past lovers. It can be a real buzzkill in the bedroom if you’re like “oh, how did they do it? Am I doing it as well as them?!” I also share my interview with social worker, host of Allyship is a Verb podcast, and LGBTQ+ educator, Chris Angel Murphy. Chris Angel and I get vulnerable in this episode and also share advice on how not to be an a*****e on dating apps. Resources from the Show! BEDucated Link: http://beducate.me/thelovedoctor (http://beducate.me/thelovedoctor) BEDucated Coupon code: LOVEDOCTOR Chris Angel Murphy: https://www.chrisangelmurphy.com/ Instagram: @gendersexualityinfo Allyship is a Verb Podcast: https://www.allyshipisaverb.com/ (https://www.allyshipisaverb.com/) Sissy: A Coming-Of-Gender Story: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/40984365-sissy Freedom Convoy Article: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/trucker-freedom-convoy-new-normal-1.6355574

Today on the show, I’m talking about what it’s like to come out as queer on YouTube (yup, I got some texts from the family!) and what it means for me to be queer and bisexual. I also share my interview with Fertility Awareness Educator and host of the Fertility Awareness Project podcast, Nathalie Daudet. Nat is an inclusive FAM expert who shares how FAM works and guides people to decide if it’s the right choice for them. Resources from the show! Fertility Awareness Project: https://fertilityawarenessproject.ca (https://fertilityawarenessproject.ca) Nat’s FAM Instagram: @fertilityawarenessproject FAM Fundamentals: https://fertilityawarenessproject.ca/fam-fundamentals (https://fertilityawarenessproject.ca/fam-fundamentals) Read Your Body App: https://www.readyourbody.info/ (https://www.readyourbody.info/) Levi and Leah: 6 Things I Wish I Knew In My 20s: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBfXpE21cgsandt=618sandab_channel=Levi%26Leah

Welcome to Season 3! Today on the show, I’m answering your questions about IUDs, libido, and cramping–are they all related? Are they happening because of the IUD? I also share my interview with Dallas Barnes where we do a deep dive on contraception methods. In particular, we answer your questions about what it’s like after having an IUD removed, our initial journeys with fertility awareness methods and addressing the pros and cons of hormonal versus non-hormonal birth control. BEDucated Link: http://beducate.me/thelovedoctor (http://beducate.me/thelovedoctor) Coupon Code: LOVEDOCTOR Resources from the Show! Dallas Barnes @reyahealth Reya Health: https://www.reyahealth.ca/ (https://www.reyahealth.ca/) Options for Sexual Health Contraception Guide: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/birth-control/methods/iud/#1550008055259-d77f52cd-09ee4323-f0d5 (https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/birth-control/methods/iud/#1550008055259-d77f52cd-09ee4323-f0d5) Debunking Desire: https://www.debunkingdesire.com/ A Survey of Young Women’s Perceptions of the Influence of the Levonorgestrel-Intrauterine System or Copper-Intrauterine Device on Sexual Desire: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31395237/ (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31395237/) The Sexual Acceptability of Intrauterine Contraception: A Qualitative Study of Young Adult Women: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1363/47e4515?sid=nlm%3Apubmed (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1363/47e4515?sid=nlm%3Apubmed) Counseling about IUDs: A Mixed-Methods Analysis: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1363/46e0814 (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1363/46e0814) Association of Short-term Bleeding and Cramping Patterns with Long-Acting Reversible Contraceptive Method Satisfaction: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4275360/ (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4275360/) In The Flo book by Alyssa Vitti: https://intheflobook.com/ (https://intheflobook.com/)

Today on the show, I’m answering your questions that I received on Instagram about why I got my IUD taken out, what it’s like having a period again after 11 years, and how my body is adjusting to not being on birth control. This is also the last episode of Season 2!! As we prepare for Season 3 coming out in the new year, what topics do you want me to cover? Are there some amazing guests I need to have on? Let me know! Resources from the Show Instagram Post: @dr.leahtidey Website: http://www.leahtidey.com (www.leahtidey.com) Email: [email protected] We Had a Bit of a Whoopsie YouTube Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2KtkYO5LBoandab_channel=Levi%26Leah Island Sexual Health: https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/ (https://www.islandsexualhealth.org/) IUD Fact Sheet at Options for Sexual Health: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/birth-control/methods/iud/ (https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/birth-control/methods/iud/) A Qualitative Study of Young Women's Beliefs About Intrauterine Devices: Fear of Infertility: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jmwh.12425 (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jmwh.12425) Your IUD May Last Longer Than Your Doctor is Telling You (feat. Dr. Jen Gunter): https://www.insider.com/mirena-lasts-7-years-paragard-lasts-12-years-iud-2017-5 Do menstrual cups increase risk of IUD expulsion? A survey of self-reported IUD and menstrual hygiene product use in the United States: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31335218/ Emergency Contraception Fact Sheet: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/emergency-contraception/ (https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/emergency-contraception/) Pregnancy Testing: https://www.optionsforsexualhealth.org/facts/pregnancy/testing/ Why Male Birth Control Doesn’t Exist Episode with Dallas Barnes: Cycle Awareness with Crystal Kennings: Crystal Kennings YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/CrystalKennings Read Your Body App: https://www.readyourbody.info/ The Body Agency (Ovulation Kit, Menstrual Cups, Vulva Puppets, etc.): https://www.thebodyagency.com/ (https://www.thebodyagency.com/) Menstrual Cup Info: https://putacupinit.com/ (https://putacupinit.com/) Alida’s Comment: Ooh not sure how to phrase any of this as a question, but I was really devastated after I got my IUD and found out there were side effects I wasn’t informed could happen. I also felt like I was really pushed to get an IUD after I had a pregnancy scare, I think that’s always an interesting topic re: any kind of birth control. How people (mainly women) are pushed really hard to do it and are told that they are irresponsible if they are hesitant for whatever reason no matter how legitimate the reason for hesitation may be - almost as if an unplanned pregnancy is still a symbol of personal moral failure after all these years. I also had terrible experiences with my insertion, very clear to me that the doctor was not at all trauma informed or aware of how triggering cervical pain can be for assault survivors. I’ve been reflecting a lot recently on how people with vulvas (at least in my experience) are taught from an young age to just expect discomfort with pelvic health care or anything vulva related (eg. that periods are bad, tampons hurt at first, that pap smears are something to dread) and how that prepares us to not know how to set boundaries with care providers, or know that we actually have the right to ask a doctor to stop or pause or ask for more information about a procedure, medication, etc. It doesn’t help that in my experience whenever I’ve gone to a doctor with any kind of hormonal or reproductive related complaint the solution I’m given is always to just go on the pill. It’s not at all surprising that there are so many horrifying stories of obstetric violence when we’re prepared from the time we hit puberty to expect vulva or uterus related health care to feel uncomfortable or...