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Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception. Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coercion and deception, claiming identity and autonomy, and finding support. Therapy (including EMDR) and supportive Twitch spaces helped her reclaim her voice, streaming, and creativity; it helped her improve boundaries, grieve lost friendships, and speak publicly about rape by deception. Thicc encourages survivors to remember that healing isn’t linear, and to remember to “water your garden”. TW/CW: Religious trauma, cults, suicide, abuse, PTSD, sexual assault, coercion and deception, substances, and strong language. Episode Notes:   Thicc on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/thiccsparklebutt Therapy for Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/ Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/CrossroadsCrowStudios Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl...  Timestamps:   00:00 Traumatic Two Step Poem  02:12 Podcast Welcome and Guest Intro  04:40 Trigger Warnings and Support  05:51 Icebreaker Questions and Self Care  11:57 Growing Up in a Cult  17:16 Leaving and Family Fallout  23:47 Realizing It Was a Cult  28:50 Controlling Relationship in Atlanta  32:38 Podcast Friend Turns Abuser  45:32 Deception Is Not Consent  46:26 Aftermath and Reclaiming Voice  49:46 Therapy Journey and Healing  53:40 Twitch As Healing  55:22 Reclaiming Streaming  58:41 Leaving The Ex  01:00:39 Reclaiming Poetry  01:03:32 Naming The Assault  01:06:17 Speaking Out Online  01:10:59 Friends Need Boundaries  01:19:08 Forgiving Yourself  01:25:31 Race And Therapy  01:33:40 Grief And Being Undeniable  01:39:42 Inner Child Strength  01:42:53 Advice And Farewell  01:45:59 Credits And Support Support the show

Join Hecate in this episode of 'Finding OK,' a healing podcast for survivors of SA and abuse, as they delve into the concept of "the male gaze", how it's internalized, its role in objectification, and its intersection with sexual healing post-trauma. Inspired by Margaret Atwood's poem from 'The Robber Bride', Hecate explores how societal beauty standards and the male gaze have influenced their self-perception, sexuality, and share reflections on their journey toward authentic pleasure and intimacy. This episode aims to provide strength and resonance for women, femmes, and AFAB individuals. Listen for powerful personal reflections on noticing and dismantling internalized patriarchal views. and a call for embracing radical self-love (it's a process). Episode Notes: The Male Gaze: https://media-studies.com/male-gaze/  https://theconversation.com/half-a-century-of-the-male-gaze-why-laura-mulveys-pioneering-theory-still-resonates-today-256875 Miss Representation: https://therepproject.org/films/miss-representation/ It's a must watch!  Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK  Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/c/CrossroadsCrowStudios Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl... 00:00 Introduction and Poem Reading  02:00 Podcast Introduction and Trigger Warnings  04:11 Understanding the Male Gaze  06:45 Personal Experiences with the Male Gaze  11:36 Internalized Male Gaze and Self-Objectification  13:53 Intersection with Sexuality and Body Image  23:08 Healing and Moving Forward  29:22 Closing Remarks and Acknowledgements Support the show

In this episode Hecate discusses why menstruation can be triggering for survivors, especially for those who have been assaulted during their periods. Hecate provides statistics from medical studies indicating that a significant percentage of SA survivors were menstruating at the time of their assault. The combined social stigmas against speaking about SA and menstruation mean this is an experience that is not being talked about enough, leading to even greater feelings of isolation and shame. The episode also addresses some of the challenges of managing periods post-trauma, and different menstrual products through a survivor’s lens. With personal anecdotes and research-backed insights, this episode aims to provide a voice to the often unspoken and overlooked intersection of menstruation and SA trauma. Hecate hopes this episode will help other survivors who have had this experience feel less alone. Tw/Cw: SA (and some details of assaults), R*pe, PTSD, menstruation, substances, and strong language. Links and References: Cardenas, K., Wiersma, G., Dykema, J., Rossman, L., Fedewa, J., & Jones, J. S. (2011). 279 impact of the victim’s menstrual cycle phase on genital injuries following sexual assault. Annals of Emergency Medicine, 58(4). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.annemergmed.2011.06.309 Gollapudi, M., Thomas, A., Yogarajah, A., Ospina, D., Daher, J. C., Rahman, A., Santistevan, L., Patel, R. V., Abraham, J., Oommen, S. G., & Siddiqui, H. F. (2024). Understanding the interplay between premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) and female sexual dysfunction (FSD). Cureus, 16(6). https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.62788 Noll, J. G., Trickett, P. K., Long, J. D., Negriff, S., Susman, E. J., Shalev, I., Li, J. C., & Putnam, F. W. (2017). Childhood sexual abuse and early timing of puberty. Journal of Adolescent Health, 60(1), 65–71. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2016.09.008 Vu, A., Moaddel, V., Emmerich, B., Rossman, L., Bach, J., Seamon, J., Barnes, M., Ouellette, L., & Jones, J. (2023). Association between the victim’s menstrual cycle phase and genital injuries following sexual assault. Clinical Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 6(2), 038–042. https://doi.org/10.29328/journal.cjog.1001127 *Thank you again to my sister Chie for their invaluable help with research and citations!* Articles about the heavy metals found in tampons: https://factor.niehs.nih.gov/2024/8/feature/3-feature-metals-in-tampons https://publichealth.berkeley.edu/articles/spotlight/research/first-study-to-measure-toxic-metals-in-tampons-shows-arsenic-and-lead https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160412024004355#:~:text=Across%20those%20studies%2C%20a%20range,et%20al.%2C%202022). Lucky Iron Fish: https://luckyironlife.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorbSgfTM6sE3c6r-IRy3MNC0u-i8v-S4-s5lkZPo89aSCXJvEfj Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/c/HecateFindingOK Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl... Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warnings 01:17 Menstruation and Trauma 07:47 Challenges with Sanitary Products 12:14 Personal Experiences of Assault During Menstruation 15:58 Statistics and Research on Assault During Menstruation 21:01 Triggers and Coping Mechanisms 32:08 Conclusion and Support 34:23 Closing Remarks and Credits Support the show

In this episode I speak with Alisa Zipursky about her book 'Healing Honestly,' a powerful resource for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Alisa and I discuss the legitimacy of traumatic memory, the harmful myth of False Memory Syndrome, and the journey of healing through self-acceptance and community support. Alisa shares insights on overcoming self-blame and self-shame, parenting as a survivor, and finding strength in connections. Whether you're a survivor yourself or supporting one, this episode offers valuable perspectives and reassurances.  TW/CW: Childhood sexual abuse, Family Abuse, PTSD, Eating Disorders, body image, and strong language. Episode Notes: Healing Honestly by Alisa Zipursky: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/726361/healing-honestly-by-alisa-zipursky/ Alisa's Website: https://healinghonestly.com/ Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdblxxVBeNzq1LFwzjN9g?si=G99NwDuSQBqRGWZi53BoZg Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction and Opening Monologue 00:55 Welcome to Finding OK 01:13 Interview with Alisa Zipursky 03:07 Trigger Warnings and Support 04:10 Personal Reflections and Parenting 06:20 Stepping into Power and Activism 15:45 Healing and Self-Care 24:15 The Importance of Connection 42:36 Healing Without Clear Memory 51:01 The Origin of DARVO and False Memory Syndrome 52:36 The Impact of False Memory Syndrome Foundation 54:39 Media Influence and Public Perception 57:11 Personal Experiences and Societal Harm 58:56 Challenging Harmful Narratives 01:02:04 The Importance of Community and Support 01:03:46 Healing and Self-Acceptance 01:05:52 Navigating Parenthood as a CSA Survivor 01:15:02 Final Thoughts and Encouragement 01:34:58 Closing Remarks and Gratitude INFORMEDISH: A fresh perspective on real life.Parenting, culture, and everyday life. Honest takes with Jason Marks. Come think with us.Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify Support the show

In this episode of Finding OK, I interview Polish LGBTQ+ comic artist Monika, best known for her series 'My Secret Lesbian Comics.' Monika shares her journey as a survivor of child abuse and discusses how she processes her trauma and finds healing through her side project, 'Self-pity Social Club.' We discuss the impact of her abusive mother, the decision to go no contact, and navigating relationships within her family afterwards. Monika also shares some powerful tools from therapy, offers advice to other survivors, and talks about the importance of creativity and friendship in her healing journey. I love Monika's work and I'm so grateful I got to speak with her!  Tw/Cw: Child abuse, PTSD, depression, suicide, and strong language. Episode Notes: Monika's Links: https://linktr.ee/mysecretlesbiancomics?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAae7yjg_9oQIvXxzLaaJe7wkVOTud8vqZX3JaqAaWaWBpiYc-EEZZKRhtKKmnQ_aem_QZxxyNZ_UQo6e53MXnGuug Self-pity Social Club: https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/self-pity-social-club/list?title_no=788807 Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Timestamps: 00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection 00:55 Welcome to Finding OK 01:12 Meet Monika: Polish LGBTQ+ Comic Artist 03:29 Trigger Warnings and Support 04:41 Interview Begins: Monika's Journey 04:57 Navigating Family Dynamics 06:11 Generational Shifts in Mental Health 12:29 Celebrating Compliments and Self-Care 16:22 The Birth of a Comic Artist 27:38 Self-Pity Social Club: A Personal Project 36:29 Sisterly Bonding Over a Difficult Mother 36:48 Financial Manipulation and Emotional Abuse 38:07 Moving to England and Financial Struggles 39:02 Discovering Mother's Deceit 39:41 Manipulative Pity Tactics 47:27 The Wedding Day Incident 50:51 The Fake Suicide Attempt 58:29 Cutting Ties and Setting Boundaries 01:01:22 Family Dynamics and Childhood Abuse 01:07:45 Validating Experiences and Healing 01:11:52 Family Party Drama 01:12:10 Unwanted Attention 01:12:32 Confrontation and Realization 01:13:48 Family Dynamics and Tensions 01:17:02 Listener Questions 01:17:46 Navigating No Contact 01:19:17 Handling Family Events 01:24:00 Therapy and Healing 01:32:43 Dealing with Suicidal Thoughts 01:40:53 Queer Joy and Creativity 01:43:44 Final Thoughts and Farewell Support the show

In this episode of Finding OK, Hecate returns after a year-long hiatus to provide an update on the podcast and share personal insights on intersectionality, kyriarchy, and the importance of understanding systemic oppression as part of healing from sexual assault and abuse. Hecate discusses the interconnectedness of personal trauma and broader social injustices, and emphasizes the need for community and collective action against systems of oppression. The episode encourages listeners to engage with their communities, leverage their unique gifts for activism, and maintain hope and resilience in tough times. Tw/Cw: Suicide, depression, PTSD, the subject of sexual assault and abuse, fascism, and genocide. 00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflection 00:56 Podcast Update and Mental Health Struggles 05:13 Intersectionality and Systems of Oppression 14:49 The Personal is Political 29:30 Call to Action and Community Building 35:03 Finding Connection and Staying Grounded 36:24 The Power of Authenticity 38:51 Building Community Through Twitch 42:36 Facing Fascism and Finding Resources 49:02 Supporting Palestine and Fundraising Efforts 52:14 Mental Health and Activism 56:39 The River Metaphor: Different Ways to Help 01:02:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement Links: Podcast Website: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK  Join Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK  Hecate's PCRF Fundraiser: https://donate.tiltify.com/4125341b-4f0d-43e0-b017-0019a82b8dde/details  Decolonizing Therapy: https://www.decolonizingtherapy.com/  Black Liturgies on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/blackliturgies/?hl=en DevthePineapple on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/devthepineapple/?hl=en Check out Signal for a secure messaging app that won't sell you or your comrades out to the cops: https://signal.org/  YK Hong (An activist to follow everywhere): https://ykhong.com/  Free Zine about fighting Fascism: https://itsgoingdown.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/DontJustDoNothing_CounterFascism_IMPOSED.pdf  Free Zine about resisting Oligarchy: https://www.instagram.com/p/DFgWbIVPfk1/?img_index=1  Printable Brochure Version: https://www.canva.com/design/DAGdx0uhGuQ/r7PQuF6JlQG6GnzT7iwbRw/edit?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaby7YCPCiYHjNnaDNuFa8b5MwzlqI2OAIrnKGUYE9sK9ML9SVSSRkvV8mk_aem_RuQok6tkGVOdY_XtOOQgSw INFORMEDISH: A fresh perspective on real life.Parenting, culture, and everyday life. Honest takes with Jason Marks. Come think with us.Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify Support the show

Sandy Phillips Kirkham is a survivor of clergy abuse and the author of, "Let Me Prey Upon You". Sandy was very active in her church growing up, her faith was the center of her life. When she was 16 her youth pastor groomed and manipulated her into a sexual relationship. After years of abuse she managed to exit the relationship and reclaim her life. Sandy kept her experience a secret for 27 years before she had to face it and begin her healing journey. Today Sandy is a strong advocate for survivors of clergy abuse as a board member of the Council Against Child Abuse and through her work with The Hope of Survivors. Today Sandy will be sharing her story, and we'll be discussing her incredibly powerful book. Sandy Kirkham and her husband Bill enjoy life with their two grown children, two beautiful granddaughters, and two fairly well-behaved dogs. Sandy continues to use her voice to help victims of clergy abuse. She currently serves on the board of Council Against Child Abuse. Sandy has spoken before the Ohio Senate, a Maryland court, and appeared on a local television show in Boston. Her story, “Stolen Innocence,” was told in a documentary produced by The Hope of Survivors. Sandy works with survivors conducting victim support conferences. She has participated in The Voice of the Faithful (VOTF) panels moderated by SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests), sharing her perspective from the non-Catholic point of view. Sandy has been a presenter/speaker at major events on clergy abuse including the Hope & Healing Conference. Sandy has earned a certificate of completion from the Faith Trust Institute entitled, “A Sacred Trust: Boundary Issues for Clergy and Spiritual Teachers.” Sandy's Website: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/ Sandy's Book: https://sandyphillipskirkham.com/shop/ https://bookshop.org/p/books/let-me-prey-upon-you-breaking-free-from-a-minister-s-sexual-abuse-sandy-phillips-kirkham/13830913?ean=9781734195200 The Hope of Survivors: http://www.thehopeofsurvivors.org/ Council on Child Abuse: https://www.cocachild.org/ GRACE: https://www.netgrace.org/ SNAP: https://www.snapnetwork.org/ Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Support the podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Finding OK is funded entirely by the generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/ Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself 3 INFORMEDISH: A fresh perspective on real life.Parenting, culture, and everyday life. Honest takes with Jason Marks. Come think with us.Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify Support the show

Part 2 of my interview with Andrew Pledger. This episode will focus on Andrew's experience with conversion therapy,  how he found support exiting fundamentalism, his expulsion from BJU,  and the work he's doing healing and speaking out. Andrew was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong. Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/ Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links Andrew's Podcasts- Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6 Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledger Andrew's Interview with Josh Harris https://youtu.be/qRwx4OoS2aM?si=Qtv8ifHW5vICIB9W The Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/ Conversion Therapy https://www.hrc.org/resources/the-lies-and-dangers-of-reparative-therapy Pattern of Narcissistic Abuse https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/narcissistic-relationship-pattern Hypnotherapy for Trauma https://psychcentral.com/health/hypnotherapy-trauma#hypnotherapy-for-treating-trauma IndoctriNation Podcast https://www.podpage.com/indoctrination/ Deconstruction Reddit Threads https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/ https://www.reddit.com/r/cultsurvivors/?xpromo_edp=enabled Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Support the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/ Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself 3 INFORMEDISH: A fresh perspective on real life.Parenting, culture, and everyday life. Honest takes with Jason Marks. Come think with us.Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify Support the show

Andrew Pledger was raised in a fundamentalist Christian cult and realized in his youth that he was gay. He attended Bob Jones University, which is a fundamentalist Christian college with a chilling history of abuse. While there, Andrew was bullied, harassed, tailed by college employees, and subjected to conversion therapy. In his junior year Andrew was expelled from BJU for publicly denouncing fundamentalism. Andrew is healing and working hard to spread awareness of religious abuse. His new podcast, "Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult" is exposing BJU's racist and abusive legacy. Andrew's story is of learning to honor your inner voice and follow your intuition, even when everything and everyone around you is telling you it's wrong. Andrew and I had a wonderful talk which I'll be sharing in two parts. This episode is focused on Andrew's experience of being raised in a Christian cult (IFB), the effect indoctrination had on his mental health, and his time at BJU up until the pandemic. The rest of his story will air next week. Andrew's Website: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/4ndrewpledger/ Links: https://andrewpledger.mypixieset.com/links Andrew's Podcasts- Surviving Bob Jones University: A Christian Cult: https://open.spotify.com/show/6zpFerrBjOuNACq1oklIU6 Speaking Up: Surviving Religions and Cults: https://shows.acast.com/speaking-up-with-andrew-pledger Subjects that came up in discussion- Family Research Council: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_Research_Council https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/group/family-research-council Institute in Basic Life Principles & Bill Gothard: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institute_in_Basic_Life_Principles https://people.com/who-is-bill-gothard-the-institute-in-basic-life-principles-founder-7506014 Umbrella of Authority: https://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/05/umbrella-of-oppression/ Focus on the Family: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Focus_on_the_Family GRACE Reports: https://www.netgrace.org/investigation-archive The Trevor Project - Crisis Hotline for LGBTQ+ youth: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/ Finding OK website: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Support the Show: https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/ Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself 3 INFORMEDISH: A fresh perspective on real life.Parenting, culture, and everyday life. Honest takes with Jason Marks. Come think with us.Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify Support the show

Alice Cottonsox joins me to talk about recovering from childhood abuse, battling Agoraphobia, and facing online hate with humor. Alice is very open about her mental health struggles in her viral videos and she's helping many survivors feel less alone. Alice is being her own parent and raising herself, something that we sometimes have to do post-trauma when prolonged abuse as children has robbed us of the opportunity to grow up the way we deserved.  Alice's Website: https://www.cottonsox.co.uk/ Alice's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland?lang=en Alice's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alicecottonsox/ Here are some of my favorites of her videos! Going Outside: https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7197807235156757765?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7238978249345289498?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7237546556323384603?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7213016240347024645?lang=en Trauma Talk: https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7217381847066479878?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7241885515643899163?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7191874000010743046?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7188860104647757061?lang=en Alice Being Awesome https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7227840114544741659?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7194465830086774022?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7174066013716286725?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7155122264155884805?lang=en https://www.tiktok.com/@alicedoeswonderland/video/7154382013007482118?lang=en Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Become a Patreon Member: https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Letters for the Fire: https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/ Thank you so much for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself 3 INFORMEDISH: A fresh perspective on real life.Parenting, culture, and everyday life. Honest takes with Jason Marks. Come think with us.Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify Support the show

Do you think of yourself as "broken" because of your trauma? What about "wounded"? My sister Chie and I discuss how the language we use to talk about our trauma intersects with our healing. This episode is an invitation to investigate the hidden meaning that some words might be holding for us. I used to think of myself as broken but gradually shifted away from that term as I healed because I realized that for me personally, it implied irreparable harm or uselessness. Chie has very different experience of the word and we share stories that might help you ask yourself some important questions.  Chie  has a BA in Somatic Psychology. She is a harpist, Championship Irish Dancer, and singer. She and her partner live in the Midwest with their two puppies. Questions I encourage listeners to ask themselves at the end of the episode: 1. What words do I use to talk about my pain or trauma? 2. Do these words have any hidden implications that I might not have considered? 3. How does my culture interact with broken things? 4. How did my family or the people who raised me interact with broken things when I was growing up? 5.  How do my own experiences or medical history impact the way I think about the words, "broken" or "wounded"? 6. Do the words I’m using to talk about my trauma keep me in an old thought pattern? 7. Are the words I’m using to talk about my trauma healthy or useful to me? Do they need to change? 8. What body system do I most relate to and why? Learn more about the history of Kintsugi and see a Master at work: https://traditionalkyoto.com/culture/kintsugi/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LMKGte0UU Podcast Website https://www.finding-ok.com/ Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project and an invitation for communal catharsis and healing. Listeners are invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser and send it to me. At the end of the Season all the letters will be read and then burned in a special episode. Learn more about how to participate here: INSERT LINK Hecate's Links https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Join the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Donate to Finding OK https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Thank you so much for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself 3 Support the show

I'm back! Welcome to Season 5! Today I'll be sharing some of what I got up to over my break, letting you know what's new in Season 5, and talking about what's alive for me in my personal healing journey right now. In March my sister Chie and I attended Paganicon 2023, an annual Pagan Convention in the Twin Cities. I know a lot of you have been waiting to hear more about this witchy gathering! I let you know which rituals, workshops, and lectures I attended and which ones were my favorites. I share some of my time at the family cabin in Wisconsin, my progress befriending my local murder of crows, joining my local printmaking studio, and a surprising moment of post traumatic growth and healing I had recently. I'm so excited to be back! Let's gooooo  Paganicon https://tcpaganpride.org/paganicon-landing-page/ Laura Tempest Zakroff https://lauratempestzakroff.com/ Art and Shop https://owlkeyme.square.site/ Omega Artworks - Ritual Blades https://www.omegaartworks.com/ Watchful Coyote - Jack https://healthecycle.com/ TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@watchfulcoyote?lang=en I Got Out http://www.igotout.org/ Hecate's Links https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Join Patreon https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Letters for the Fire https://www.finding-ok.com/blog/letters-for-the-fire-season-5/ INFORMEDISH: A fresh perspective on real life.Parenting, culture, and everyday life. Honest takes with Jason Marks. Come think with us.Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify Support the show

This is the last episode of Season 4! Today I'll be taking some time to thank everyone who made this season possible, updating you about how I'm doing, and what I'll be getting up to over break! New episodes will resume in July 2023. Just because there aren't new episodes doesn't mean there isn't new content! I'm taking time during break to practice self-care, focus on personal growth, and to doing lots of new and exciting things! You can check it out by following me on Twitch and Instagram, or joining Discord or Patreon. I livestream on Twitch multiple times a week and you can still catch me there. Thank you all so much for making this season so special. While this break happens please remember that you are not alone! Please take care of yourself! Survivor Support and Resources https://www.rainn.org/ The planner I use https://passionplanner.com/ Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist by Ramshackle Glory https://youtu.be/pC3IrqUpm9U Ramshackle Glory https://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com/ Hecate's Links https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Follow Sage on Twitch and join the weekly Twitch and Paint event! https://www.twitch.tv/sagecirce Follow me on twitch too! My paint stream is on 3/25/23 https://www.twitch.tv/hecate_findingok A friend and fellow survivor wrote this beautiful book of poetry! Check it out! https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Dare-Teach-Daughter-Forest/dp/172595933X Join Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Thank you for listening! BLM. Take care of yourself! INFORMEDISH: A fresh perspective on real life.Parenting, culture, and everyday life. Honest takes with Jason Marks. Come think with us.Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify Support the show

Letters for the Fire is a listener participation project. Listeners were invited to write a letter to their rapist or abuser, and I promised to read them before burning them in a ritual. The goal is to create a community opportunity for catharsis, release, and healing. Today I will be reading your letters so your words can be heard. A video of the letter burning ritual will be made available later. A link will be included in episode notes when it is ready. Hecate's Links https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Donate to Finding OK https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Join the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK Thank you for listening. BLM. Take care of yourself 3 INFORMEDISH: A fresh perspective on real life.Parenting, culture, and everyday life. Honest takes with Jason Marks. Come think with us.Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify Support the show

Ruth is a survivor who has been facing her past and doing the work. She's a listener who is sharing some of her story and discussing some of the steps she's been taking in her life to heal. She's been meeting her trauma with courage, humanity, and grace that I know others will find inspiring. We discuss her assault by a family member, how her recent meeting with him went, her experiences within the Salvation Army Church, how Purity Culture has affected her, her struggles with suicidal ideation, and her experience with EMDR therapy. Ruth speaks so honestly and openly about the struggles we all face as survivors and I know her words and experiences will resonate with others. Ruth is a Midwesterner who enjoys music, singing, painting, and taking walks in the woods. She has an interest in studying reptiles and amphibians in the future. She has a fluffy orange cat named Wesley Besley who keeps her warm and loved on. Ruth is still in the midst of her healing journey after multiple sexual assaults throughout the first 20 years of her life. She is sharing her story to let some shame go, and to help other survivors feel less alone. Salvation Army Rules "Soldier's Covenant" https://www.salvationarmy.org/ihq/56C765982907E8E6802573B1004E4E37 Salvation Army Sucks https://imgur.com/gallery/7OZCIOM https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/16/21003560/salvation-army-anti-lgbtq-controversies-donations Me Too Many Voices Community Support Network - Love them! Give them a follow! https://www.instagram.com/mtmvcommunity/ https://www.instagram.com/p/CgdIqU4sW3N/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link Judith Slaying Holofernes by Artemisia Gentileschi https://smarthistory.org/gentileschi-judith-slaying-holofernes/ Inner Decay - Where to find the patch! Let's start a gang! lol https://innerdecay.com/ Hecate's Links https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Donate to Finding OK https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Join the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/HecateFindingOK INFORMEDISH: A fresh perspective on real life.Parenting, culture, and everyday life. Honest takes with Jason Marks. Come think with us.Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify Support the show