Advertise on podcast: When They Were Young: Amplifying Voices of Adoptees

 Today we have  an adoptee who was a guest on episode 50 where we discussed the dangers of calling adoption a blessing. Sara Easterly is an adoptee, essayist, and author of books that include Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies, and award-winning spiritual memoir, Searching for Mom. She is the founder of Adoptee Voices, which supports adoptees in their storytelling. She is also a trained course facilitator with the Neufeld Institute, with special interest in the intersection of attachment, child development, brain science, and adoption. We discuss: Check in on her book tours for Adoption Unfiltered (I make a cameo in this book!)The feeling of rejection for adopteesHow she found her book collaboratorsSara’s reunion with her biological familyThe corruption in adoptionThe new excuse to hold onto adoption narrativeBooks cited: Author Gabor Mate  "Addicted to Drama" by Dr Scott Lyons Daniel Nayeri the author of "Everthing Sad and Untrue" Gretchen Sisson the author of "Relinquished" (Guest on Episode 71) GUEST: www.saraeasterly.com https://www.instagram.com/saraeasterlyauthor/ https://www.facebook.com/saraeasterlyauthor https://x/saraeasterly Photo credit for bio pic: Adoptee Eileen Skahill Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Hi again! The idea of adoptees reclaiming themselves have perplexed certain people for awhile now. If you aren’t adopted or haven’t had an in-depth conversation with someone who is adopted you might wonder “What do they need to reclaim?” Today’s guest is Rae from Adoptee Reclaimed.  Rae is trauma-informed and versed in child development, brain-body integration, and addiction and abuse recovery coaching. Rae borrows somatic methods and Internal Family Systems which she customizes for adoptees. I stumbled across Rae from her Poetry contest. We discuss: Using our voice in a Poetic formWhy I’ve named the  podcast “When they were young”The silent assignment of adopteesRecognition of before the fogHistory of adoption with native AmericansReunion SupportHow we can best receive joyAnd 5 tips for quality of life (The 3rd tip will change the course of how you approach dating)Guest: Rae Adopteereclaimed.com Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Happy New Year! This conversation is a great inspiration for this next chapter. Eunnuri Lee is a Korean-American activist, visual artist, and adoptee who I stumbled across on Tik Tok. I was instantly intrigued by her multidimensional content, her whimsical makeup and Megan thee Stallion commentary.  And the fact that she is an adoptee as well was sprinkles on the top.  This conversation covers just about everything. We discuss the importance of sex education and her partners app that he’s developing around conscious coupling. We talk about:  Eunnuri's visual artworkWhy transparency around influencers is importantHer journey to confidence as a beauty creatorAnd her work with Operation Olive BranchBooks mentioned: All about love by Bell Hooks Esther Perel Dating in Captivity Addicted to Drama by Dr. Scott Lyons GUEST: Eunnuri Lee Instagram - @eunnuri_lee / @oori_nuri TIktok - @eunnuri_lee Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Hey there, love! Today we have Shania Ives as a guest! Shania is an adult adoptee from the UK, the Founding Director of The Dunbar Project, and a trainee integrative psychotherapist. Her mission is to create spaces for empowerment and growth within marginalized communities. Shania is the very first adoptee I’ve met whose adoptive parents strove to preserve Shania’s connection with her biological family. The story on how her Adoptive parents understood and organized themselves around  her trauma is breathtaking.  We discuss: The atmosphere of adoption in the UKShania's biological father’s struggle to keep her How she founded the Dunbar ProjectWhat Shania's philosophy to RECLAIM. REFRAME looks likeWe also unpack a variety of resources for extraordinary organizations and initiative for adoptees in the UK and beyondAnd Shania breakdown why is important to have Trauma informed caregivers. GUEST: Shania Ives @thedunbarproject www.thedunbarproject.org.uk Article on the Dunbar Project Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Today I chat with Becca Flatt, who is a therapist and advocate specializing in adoption-related trauma, grief, and estrangement. A queer, Black, interracial biracial adoptee, she provides therapy exclusively for adoptees and consultations for both adoptees and adoptive parents. Becca facilitates an estrangement support group for adoptees with Adoption Mosaic and teaches an estrangement course for adoptive parents, helping clients navigate relational challenges with compassion, boundaries, and clarity. We discuss: -How she found the balance between accountability and understanding.  - How she defines what “Forced Empathy” looks like -What accountability looks like when you burn it to the ground - How she dealt with self hatred stemming from racism.  - Why adoptees forgo their comfort to support their adoptive parents.  - Misogynoir--what is it? -And Becca does touch on but does not go into detail how she is a sexual abuse survivor. GUEST: Becca Flatt @mending_the_adopted_heart www.mendedheart.org Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Hey, loves! Today I give you three actionables (including a book) that will shift the way you react to people and the situations around you. As well as a tip to release expectations. The holiday season can be disappointing with unmet expectations, I think I know something that will help :) BOOK: Addicted to Drama by Dr. Scott Lyons Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Today I sit with Tara Nolan who is the co-hosts of the podcast (ABC) Adoptees Born in China show, where adoptees from China can listen to and share their adoption stories. This is a deeply thought provoking conversation around the Chinese laws to abolish international adoption and the emotional outcry of the Chinese adoptees who are the last adoptees from that region of the world.  We discuss: - Art and its impact on our lives  - The timeline of Chinese laws from the 1982 one child Nation Mandate - Tara's insights on the change in Chinese laws and what she thinks this means for adoptees here in the states. Guest: Tara Nolan @adopteesborninchinapodcast https://open.spotify.com/show/63VPA3IiyDrYN1XyS2bjiE Resources mention: Nanchang Project Chinese Adoptee Alliance Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Ryan Jafar Artes, the host of adoptee Open Mic Tuesday zoom events and an award winning poet. We discuss:  The act of Reparenting ourselvesAnd how through the clear lens of sobriety, Ryan chose the community that poured into him. We touch on the imperative of supporting younger generations of adoptees, Afrofuturism and endofuturism that has inspired a more authentic existence where we can make mistakes and explore numerous outcomes. And we talk about what communities make us feel safe. Ryan also teaches us how to put our stories down with each other not in each other. And we finish with a course on how to give yourself the love language you desire. GUEST: linktr.ee/ryanartes  @ryanartespoet   @theadopteeopenmic on IG Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Hi friends, It's been a ruthless week but I'm here for you. Today I dive into the 5 things I've learned the past year on hiatus. Please note that I speak about my suicide ideations, mental health as well as mention the convictions of our president elect. I'll leave you with some nuggets of hope though. Sending you grace.  Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Today I have the pleasure of chatting with Dr. Gretchen Sisson about her critically acclaimed book "Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood." Gretchen is a sociologist with Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health at the University of California, San Francisco, where she studies adoption and abortion.  We discuss: -How national crisis create opportunities for adoption  -The views of white mothers on relinquishing their biracial children to white adopters -The laws behind kinship care and valuing children staying in their original culture  -The definition of transracial adoption  -Why there is a national interest to increase adoption -The impact of overturning of Roe v Wade on the adoption industry -Laws that have been implemented to help adoptees retrieve their biological histories - Project 2025 And finally I ask the question “Is adoption child centered” and what Gretchen will enlighten you.  Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

I was a guest on the podcast Adoption: The Long View, hosted by Lori Holden. In this episode I am interviewed by Lori who asks the vital question "How can adoptees be the hero of their own stories?" Because that is what I believe we should be. Lori is one of the co-writers for the book, "Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations by Adoptees, Birth parents, and Adoptive parents." The following is what we talk about. Disclaimer: This listen is for adults only. 00:00 Intro 00:47 Video greeting from Lanise 11: 01 Interview with Lori Holden begins 11:59 Lanise starts her adoption story 16:20 Lanise's coming out of the FOG story 18:29 How Lanise's grief manifested 19:42 Lanise's suicide ideations 22:49 Coming to terms with our own story 23:30 Chapter 18 of Adoption Unfiltered "Saviorism) 26:35 The movie Origin & Caste system in adoption 28:22 Global supremacy of whiteness 28:30 Article from The Conversation about whiteness in adoption 30:50 Barbara Kinsolver Poisonwood Bible 31:00 Consequences of saviorism 32:18 Lanise's definition of a better life 34:08 What's behind saviourism and AP's controlling the narrative Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Today we talk about the science of attachment styles inspired by the book "Attached" by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller. This book has revolutionized how I approach all of my relationships. These are my reasons why you should read this book and how I now use it to healthfully allow people to be as they are.  REFERENCES: Attached written by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller Disordered Attachment Article Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Today our guest is Shelby Redfield Kilgore who is a two time Emmy award-winning filmmaker and author of the blog, “Behind the Lens” and also co-writer of the book “Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections”. Today's topics: Her filmmaking and how she found her artistic voiceHow the stories she collects have informed her own adoption journeyThe societal pressures of single mothers in Korea and The resentment that surfaced toward her culture because of what happened to her mother.The imperative of adoptive parent’s get thorough education before adoptingAnd her courage through her Breast cancer journeyGUEST: Shelby Redfield Kilgore https://www.wearemirrorlight.com/ Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Today we have author, activist, podcaster, and educative content creator Melissa Guida Richards; who was also a guest on episode 6 ,and a panelist on my 2020 panel series. A lot has happened since we last chatted a few years ago; Melissa's second book launched and her tik tok / IG platforms now have a huge following of people who want to learn more.  Topics today include: The ramification of Separating siblingsHer relationship with her adoptive mother, and what it was like to be on the Cameron Hall show with her adoptive mother. What it means to filter content through an anti-racist lensHer work in the adoption community and her strategy to make lasting and systemic change. The harm of Social media platforms that advertise children and the dangers of pre-birth matchingRe-homing children on the internet (AKA human trafficking)We also talk about birth parents in crisis and the laws around their rights. She gives advice on how to protect your children’s story when you’re a parental content creator. How to not over-shareAnd then we finish with tips on how to not minimize the adoptee experienceGUEST: Melissa Guida Richards adopteethoughts.com Melissa's Workbooks Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...

Today I speak with poet, artist, and activist matthew anthony. Matthew has a podcast called "Little Did You Know" and a vibrant poetry book called "You Can Not Burn The Sun." We discuss: - Reclaiming ones name - Rehoming and separating siblings  - What "with-ness" is in regards to solidarity  - And the resiliency of a black spirit brought up in a Sun Down town GUEST: matthew anthony https://drum.io/cantburnthesun?fbclid=IwAR0XqFmMZsW8-XJwJO4UiyiJugu-LIgsbWJIt9UMHj-vtGBOCU9reHZk8N4 REFERENCES: James Baldwin “The Fire Next Time” . Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here! JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”: NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC": RESOURCES ON ...