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In this episode, I talk about how I was feeling very frazzled yesterday after a long, hard week of far too many things going on, and how I am de-frazzling myself today. I define what “frazzled” means (from children’s author Sandra Boyton), I talk about the book Rest: Why you get more done when you work less, by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, and about advice from Gretchen Rubin, one of my favorite authors. I give lots of ideas for what I will do today to de-frazzle, including re-reading a favorite book and following some traditions like Friday night movie night! Action item: when you are feeling frazzled, reachfor things that provide you with true comfort, not just numbing, or at least, just take a minute to breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds (box breathing).

In this episode, I talk about the 4 characteristics/featuresof “deep play” and why deep play is so important to those of us who would like to have long and happy career paths. The definitions come from the book Rest: Why you get more done when you work less, by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang and theexamples are from the book and from my own life. Action item: pay attention to whether what you are already doing in your free time has at least 1 of the 4 characteristics of “deep play” and if not, try to incorporate more deep play activities into your daily life, even just a few minutes at a time!

In this episode, I talk about how life is hard and that is OK- if we can learn to be more resilient, we can truly change our lives and the world. I talk about the Stockdale Paradox, which involves resilience and hope, I define hope and resilience using Brené Brown’s work (and her book the Gifts of Imperfection), and give us some solid action items for cultivating more hope and resilience in our lives during a particularly tough time. Action item: pick one of the 5 areas of resilience to work on this week : 1) be resourceful and havegood problem solving skills (don’t just give up- try another way!) 2) seek help when you need it 3) practice managing your feelings in a proactive way -like through meditation 4) work to strengthen your social support network- check in on a friend you haven’t heard from in a while or 5) connect with others- give your kid or cat or best friend a hug!

In this week’s episode, I talk about abundance as an antidote to scarcity, why cultivating an attitude of abundance is so important to our mental health, and how we can try in our lives even just for a few minutes a day to cultivate an attitude of abundance. Action item: this week, when you think you are too busy, act like someone who has the time, money, etc., to slow down and enjoy something for just a few minutes each day. Talk to a friend, chat with a neighbor, help someone do something instead of walking on by. I promise it will make your life richer and more joyful!

In this week’s episode, I talk about the joy (for both giverand receiver) in thanks/appreciation. I talk about some examples where I have received thanks, and given thanks, in my life, and about how it made me feel and how I still remember it (from both sides). I talk about the Happiness Labwith Dr. Laurie Santos and how the psychology research shows that thanking people (particularly in writing) helps everyone to have a little bit more joy in their lives. Action item: find someone to thank for something, and ideally write them a letter, but an email, a text message, or even a verbal thank youcan help!

In this episode, I define collective effervescence, givesome examples of finding joy but also just connection through experiences that promote collective effervescence, and give an action item: go out and experience just a little bit of collective effervescence yourself this week! Some examplesinclude: concerts/music festivals, sporting events, religious rituals like singing or praying, weddings and other parties, even cheering on your favorite dance in Dancing with the Stars (especially if you have friends who are watching it too)!

In this episode, I talk about how in this scary and uncertain world we need to make a choice, to control those things that we can control, and to let go of the things that will just have us spinning our wheels, wasting our time, our energy, our “one wild and precious life” (Mary Oliver) on things that we don’t in the end have any control over. I talk about similar topics in a different way in Week 49 (“let it go”) and Week 119 (“whento fight and when to let it go”). Action item: the net time you are trying to control something, take a deep breath and think about- is this something I actually have control over or not? If so, control away, but if not, maybe just- let it go!

In this episode, I talk about what it means to “yuck” someone else’s “yum” and how stopping doing this can make our lives just a little bit happier and better. This episode relates to episode 93 about the advantages of “nerding out” aboutthings as well so check out that episode if you’d like to hear more about this! I define what “yuck” someone else’s “yum” means and give a recent example from my life in which I invoked this phrase and it worked wonderfully. Action item:the next time someone tells you about a thing that they love, instead of arguing with them about it or critiquing the thing, just tell them “I love that you loved it so much”. Bonus/extra credit action item: try the thing with the person, even and especially if it is a thing that you wouldn’t normally enjoy. I promise you, your life will be richer for it.

In this episode, I talk about literal and metaphorical splinters(metaphorically, emotional overreactions) and how they both have a lot in common. I talk about “Chandeliering” from Brene Brown, which is a difficult situation that is objectively a 2 or 3 on a scale of 1-10, but we react to it as if it is a 10. Similarly to a literal splinter, we feel like we need to react immediately, but the best course of action is to pause, take stock of the situation, and (in the case of splinters at least) sometimes just wait until the next day/the next time we are in the pool to get the splinter out. Both feel huge when they are inside of us (the splinter and the difficult situation) but when we get outside of it, they seem impossibly small to have caused so much pain. Action item: when you experience an emotional “splinter” situation (overreaction), see if you can give yourself some space, even just a little- a bathroom break, splash cold water on your face, take a deep breath or 5, go for a walk, etc., or just tell yourself "this is a big old splinter."

In this episode, I talk about how I feel right now, from the middle of the middle (middle age, middle parenting- that is, parenting kids who are about "halfway" to being adults). But I also talk about how even though we don't realize it, we are always in the middle of something, and sometimes we don't have any idea that something is the "last" time. So this episode is really about perspective taking and thinking about how, regardless of if we are going through a great or a horrible time or anything in between, there are always elements of both - positives and negatives. Someday, the days we are living through right now just might be the "good old days," and even if not, in retrospect I think we almost always find good things even in super hard times. Action item: take a few minutes this week and sit down and think about/write about some of the hard things in your life right now and what you love about your life right now, in this moment. Or, if you don't feel like you are going through a particularly good or bad time right now, it can help to think about/write about a time when you got through some really hard things, to help you remember that you can do it again- you already did!

In this episode (the last until late August), I talk about how to transition from a big project, the end of the school year, end of a holiday season, just any end of a thing, through a "cool down." By this I mean the opposite of a "warm-up" like you would do before exercising. For my own cool down, my favorite things to do are watch a movie, meditate, write in my journal, read a book, go for a long walk, go on a coffee date with a friend, etc. But for extroverts, this might look like a yoga or exercise class, a meet-up with a group of people, playing sports, or even just going to a movie with friends. I talk about using mini-breaks as well in the middle of a big project, to help you finish. I am getting out my cup with notes to myself of things I'll do every time I finish grading a paper- go for a walk around the block, light a candle, make tea, etc. Action item: find some time, no matter how short, to gear down/cool down/rest after a big project or event or whatever, using any of the above or whatever helps you to feel rested. And have a great summer!

In this week's episode, I talk about my introvert (manager) burnout, give examples of what I mean and how I am feeling right now, and give 6 tips to help manage this burnout. While I am a department chair/middle manager, this advice works for all introverts who are feeling exhausted/burned out right now from too many meetings, events, etc., at work, at home, wherever. Advice includes taking breaks from people, not checking your email during down time, scheduling one-on-one meetings instead of larger group meetings, turning off your screen or minimizing the faces in Zoom meetings (or just meeting in person instead when possible), etc. At the end, I give advice for recharging and action item: pick one of these pieces of advice that you think might work for you and try it out!

In this episode, I talk about six strategies that work for anyone, whether it's the end of the school year for you, for your kids (Maycember anyone?), or just a hectic time for any reason. 1) Build in time for breaks, even super short ones. Maybe re-think what a "break" is (folding laundry and listening to podcasts?). 2) Make a schedule plan that you can actually follow. Maybe undersell yourself (write down 5 things on your list instead of 10 at least sometimes- I promise, it feels great)! 3) Forgive yourself when things take 2x as long as you thought. (Also, maybe it means you really do need a rest). 4) Do not let sleep slide. If you have to, let cleaning or laundry or something else slide, but not sleep. I promise, it will make everything worse if you don't sleep. 5) Let your people know you are going through a tough time and ask for help! You might just be pleasantly surprised. 6) Come up with a plan for when you are "done" with the hectic time and make yourself take a day off or rest in some real way. For me, I need my plan to be vague or my "senioritis" will get even worse, but it's up to you. Put it in your calendar if it helps you focus! Good luck!

This week, I thought about what I wanted my college students to hear at this time of the semester (about a month left until summer) and it is this: move your body! I talk about 3 tips to get you started moving your body and to remove barriers to exercising every day. 1) Lower the bar to starting as much as possible- just aim for 5 or 15 or even 2 minutes a day if that is all you have, and remember that any amount of exercise is better than nothing. 2) Pick something that you actually like- in terms of location (at home, at a gym, outside), in terms of solo vs with others (yoga class, etc.) and the type of exercise- walking, running, swimming, biking, weightlifting, etc. Why do we always think we have to hate exercise for it to work? 3) Come up with a good reason (for you) to exercise (more energy, to be stronger, to complete your stress cycle etc.) and write it on a post-it note for motivation! Action item: write your post it note, leave your gym shoes by the front door and get moving!

In this week's episode, I talk about the best way I've ever learned to start a difficult project (writing an academic paper for example), pick up a habit I've been wanting to start (like weightlifting), or just get an annoying daily task done (think laundry or checking the mail). It's to "lower the bar." Also called "just open the document" by Dr. Cathy Mazak, the key here is to make the initiation of a task/project so simple that you almost can't NOT do it. This trick is great for everyone but particularly neurodivergent folks who have trouble with executive functioning/task initiation (like those with ADHD). Similar ideas have been suggested by Gretchen Rubin (anything you can do in 1 minute or less always do now) and James Clear of Atomic Habits (2 minutes a day to start a new habit). I talk about some of my own examples of ways I've started new habits, completed big projects, or just gotten myself to start folding that pile of laundry, all in just 2-5 minutes. Action item: pick one thing you'd like to try this trick on and find an amount of time/way to set the bar low enough that you can start!