Advertise on podcast: Notes on Vulnerability

In the final solo episode of this season of Notes on Vulnerability, Alex makes the case for why "I just don't care anymore" isn't a red flag - it's often the first sign of real freedom. Alex breaks down why not giving a f**k isn't about becoming selfish or numbing out, but about redirecting your energy away from fear, approval-seeking, and performative "adulthood" milestones, and toward what actually matters to you. Drawing on years of coaching experience (and her own life), she explores: Why "I don't care anymore" is usually a sign something's shifting, not a red flagThe difference between giving up and becoming freeWhy so many "adults" still run their lives on fear, not maturityThe subtle but powerful swaps that change everything (approval vs. self-approval, being liked vs. being authentic)A closing question to help you figure out what deserves your f***s — and what doesn'tThis episode wraps up a season that's covered burnout, shame, boundaries, the nervous system, identity, and more, with guests ranging from barristers to the world's strongest disabled woman. If you've been following along, this is the thread tying it all together. Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

If you're exhausted, running on empty, and wondering why you can't seem to cope the way everyone else does - this episode is for you. Explore 7 Days Back From Burnout Videos Here (free) In this episode of Notes on Vulnerability, resilience coach Alex explores one of the most misunderstood truths about burnout: it's not just about doing too much. It's about doing too much while constantly abandoning yourself in the process. Alex unpacks why the people who burn out are rarely the lazy ones - they're usually the reliable ones, the capable ones, the ones everyone turns to. And why, for those people, simply resting is not going to be enough. In this episode you'll learn: Why burnout is a self-abandonment problem, not a workload problemWhat your nervous system is actually doing when you burn out - and why it makes complete senseWhy rest alone often doesn't fix burnout (and what needs to change instead)How burnout shifts your identity in a dangerous way, and how to reclaim itWhy recovering without changing your patterns just sends you right back to square oneIf you've ever thought "what's wrong with me?" or "why can't I cope?" - Alex has a reframe that might just change everything. Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

What if the key to emotional healing wasn't found on a therapist's couch, but on a dance floor? In this episode, I'm joined by Ronnie - aka the Dancing Therapist - an integrative therapist in training who has spent years exploring the profound connection between movement, music, and mental health. From a life-changing retreat rooted in somatic dance, to eight and a half years of sobriety, Ronnie's journey is a powerful reminder that our bodies know things our minds haven't caught up with yet. We talk about: Why the opposite of depression might be expressionWhat somatic therapy actually is and how movement fits inThe science of "collective effervescence" - and why dancing together is healingHow to start moving for healing, even if you're self-consciousNavigating sobriety in a drinking culture - and building a social life without alcoholWhy you are not broken, and what it means to come back to yourselfWhether you're curious about therapy, exploring sobriety, or just feel like you've lost touch with your body —-this conversation will leave you wanting to move. Find Ronnie on Instagram: Ronnie Traynor Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

We've become so fluent in the language of healing - boundaries, protecting our peace, doing the work - but what if some of what we're calling healing is actually hiding? In this solo episode, Alex explores one of the most important distinctions in resilience: the difference between healing and hiding. They look, without judgement, at the places where wellness language can quietly become a cover for avoidance, fear, and staying stuck - and why it's often so hard to spot when you're in it. You'll hear about: Why healing and hiding can feel almost identical from the insideThe role of the nervous system and capacity in keeping us smallCommon ways hiding disguises itself as self-awarenessWhat healing is actually supposed to do (hint: make your life bigger)Six signs you might be on the hiding side of thingsHow to start asking better questions of yourselfThis episode is honest, warm, and full of the kind of insight that might just hold up a mirror - in the best possible way. Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Celebrity stylist Rachel Gold has spent 35 years dressing some of the most recognisable faces in entertainment - and what she's learned goes far deeper than clothes. In this episode, Rachel joins us to talk about why so many women over 40 lose their sense of style identity, and why that loss is rarely actually about fashion. We explore how body changes, menopause, people-pleasing, and decades of putting everyone else first can quietly erode the way we show up - and how something as simple as getting dressed can be the first step back to yourself. We cover: Why the most confident people in the room are often the most insecureHow your wardrobe reflects your self-esteem (not the other way around)The "chicken and egg" of body confidence and dressing wellWhy the people around you might not want you to changeThe three A's: Acceptance, Action, and AuthenticityWhy you should stop saving your best things for a special occasionWhat a monk's perspective on mortality has to do with your sequin dressThis is a warm, honest, and surprisingly profound conversation about style, self-worth, and what it really means to take up space as you get older. Find Rachel on Instagram:  Rachel Gold Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Being called "reliable" sounds like a compliment - but what if it's actually costing you everything? In this episode of Notes on Vulnerability, resilience coach Alex unpacks the hidden cost of being the strong one, the dependable one, the person who always holds it all together. While reliability can feel like a strength, over time it can quietly become a cage - leading to exhaustion, resentment, disconnection, and a creeping sense that you've lost touch with who you really are. Alex explores: Why the "reliable one" identity is often built on self-abandonmentHow this pattern tends to surface in your 30s and 40s - and whyThe link between nervous system capacity and burnoutWhy letting go of this identity can feel like loss — and why that's okayWhat real resilience actually looks likeIf you've spent years being everything to everyone else and something inside you is starting to feel deeply tired of it - this episode is for you. Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Business mentor and "business alchemist" Pandora Paloma doesn't think so. After making millions in sales, she's become convinced that strategy is only part of the picture - the real work is in expanding your capacity, challenging your identity, and being honest about what's really holding you back. In this episode we talk about: How your business can never outgrow the person running itThe identities entrepreneurs need to let go of to reach the next levelHow nervous system regulation affects everything from sales to confidenceWhy feeling dysregulated isn't a problem - and how building capacity changes everythingThe biggest shifts happening in content and marketing in 2026Why your point of view matters more than simply sharing information in the age of AIBalancing authority with vulnerability without falling into performative authenticityThe mindset shifts that make selling feel natural instead of uncomfortableWhether you're growing a business, creating content, or simply navigating your own next chapter, this conversation is a reminder that sustainable success starts with the person behind it. Honest, practical and full of moments that will make you stop and think, this episode might just change the way you approach both business and yourself. Find Pandora on Instagram: Pandora Paloma   Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Why do so many people feel lost in their 30s and 40s, even when life looks successful on paper? If you've ever found yourself wondering, "Is this it?" or feeling strangely disconnected from the life you've worked so hard to build, this episode is for you. In this solo episode, resilience coach Alex explores the identity crisis that so many people experience in midlife - but that hardly anyone talks about. You'll discover why feeling lost isn't a sign that something is wrong with you, but often a sign that you've outgrown the version of yourself that was built to survive, achieve and keep everyone else happy. Alex explains why the traditional life milestones we've been taught to chase can leave us feeling empty, how "identity fatigue" develops, and why authenticity is one of the missing ingredients in resilience. In this episode you'll learn: Why your 30s and 40s can trigger an unexpected identity crisisThe hidden cost of building your life around achievement, reliability and approvalWhy feeling lost doesn't mean you're failingHow your nervous system influences your sense of identityWhy authenticity is essential for resilience, confidence and self-trustHow to stop asking "What's wrong with me?" and start asking "Who am I, underneath all the roles I've been playing?"If you're ready to stop performing the version of you that no longer fits and reconnect with who you really are, this episode will give you a completely different way of understanding what you're experiencing - and why it could be the beginning of something much bigger than you realise. If you'd like support with this, you can book a free introductory coaching call here. Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

What does it look like to actually live on your own terms - not just talk about it? Agnes, known on Instagram as The Ginger Witch, is the woman doing all the things a lot of us only dream about. From 10 days of silent meditation in a Vipassana retreat (twice!) to seven weeks training at a kung fu school in the mountains of China, Agnes has made a life out of leaning into discomfort - and she wouldn't have it any other way. In this episode we talk about: How Agnes found her path and what she's building towardsThe Vipassana silent meditation retreat - what it is, what it costs you, and why she recommends it to everyoneHer kung fu experience in China, and how it changed her relationship with discipline and her own mindWhy fear and excitement are the same thing - and how to choose which one you feelSelf-actualisation, side quests, and why being a "jack of all trades" isn't a flawThe surprising freedom that comes from routineHer philosophy on joy, vulnerability, and connecting with the world around youAgnes is living proof that the biggest barrier between you and the life you want is usually just the decision to go for it. This one will stay with you. Find Agnes on Instagram: @gingerwwitch Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

It's easy to assume the answer is discipline, motivation, or confidence - but in this episode, resilience coach Alex reveals what actually makes the difference, and it's none of those things. Alex explores the concept of capacity - why some people have more of it, where it comes from, and crucially, how you can build more of it. She breaks down the real reasons change can feel harder for some people than others, including the often-overlooked roles of financial background, emotional stability in childhood, and nervous system regulation. In this episode you'll learn: Why feeling stuck is not a reflection of your character - and what it actually meansHow your money mindset (and where it came from) is shaping your financial reality right nowThe connection between emotional stability, attachment, and your ability to make changeWhy your nervous system has a bigger role in your life than your mindset doesPractical first steps to start expanding your capacity and moving forwardIf you've ever looked at someone who seems to change their life with ease and wondered what do they have that I don't? - this episode is for you. Find Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

What does it take for a man raised inside a deeply patriarchal religious system to become one of the internet's most prominent voices against misogyny - and then fall in love with a woman who challenges him every step of the way? In this episode, I sit down with Sean and his fiancée Cat - a couple who met in Instagram DMs after Cat noticed Sean posting calm, measured responses to Andrew Tate videos. What followed was the birth of a relationship built on radical transparency, shared values, and a mutual commitment to doing the inner work. We talk about: Sean's journey from Jehovah's Witness upbringing to anti-manosphere content creatorThe "rock bottom" moment that finally broke down his conditioningHow Cat spotted something different in Sean - and what transparency in a relationship actually looks likeWhether men can truly change, and what it actually takesHow two people shaped by patriarchy in very different ways managed to build something genuinely healthy togetherThis is a honest, nuanced conversation about accountability, authenticity, and what it looks like when men actually do the work. Find Cat and Sean here. Here are links for: Use Code NOTES15 at YCODE for 15% off men's skincare.Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Still grinding through your to-do list, stuck in your head, and wondering why the meditation isn't working? Your nervous system might be the missing piece - and the solution is a lot more fun than you think. In this episode, resilience coach Alex breaks down what nervous system regulation actually means (hint: it's not about being permanently calm), why so many of us stay stuck in a stress response without even realising it, and why the standard advice of breathwork and cold dips is only part of the story. We explore the full spectrum of regulation tools available to you - from dancing and boxing to pleasure and orgasms - and why these are just as scientifically valid as any breathing technique. We also get into the deeper work: why feeling your feelings is one of the most overlooked foundations of regulation, how self-trust underpins everything, and why your nervous system - not your willpower - is the real reason you self-sabotage. If you've ever felt like you're doing all the right things and still can't seem to get out of your own way, this episode will change how you see yourself. Topics covered: What a regulated nervous system actually looks likeWhy we get stuck in fight, flight, and freeze - and what it costs usDynamic regulation tools beyond breathwork (including orgasms)How hormones affect women's nervous systems differentlyThe link between nervous system capacity and self-sabotageWhy success literally requires safety in your nervous systemHow to start building new neural pathways through pleasure and connectionFind Alex: Instagram @alexresiliencecoach | shore-coaching.com If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Anna Morris KC has represented thousands of bereaved families at some of the UK's most high-profile public inquiries - including Hillsborough and the COVID Inquiry. But her path to King's Counsel looked nothing like the rulebook said it should. In this episode, Alex sits down with her old university friend Anna to talk about what it's really like to stand up in court on behalf of 7,000 grieving families, the moment a member of the House of Lords told her to "stop riling up her people," and why she almost didn't become a barrister at all. They get into: The pressure and privilege of high-profile public inquiry workThe power of silence as an advocacy tool - and why it isn't taughtOvercoming imposter syndrome, neurodiversity, and not fitting the barrister mouldThe stark lack of diversity at the bar and what still needs to changeWhy legal aid lawyers routinely work for free - and what that costs the professionHow Anna balances carrying the weight of others' trauma with being a mother, a leader, and a human beingHer note on vulnerability: staying authentic even when you're the most polished version of yourselfA candid, warm and genuinely inspiring conversation about finding your own way - even when no one else seems to do it the same way you do. Find Anna Morris here. If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

If you've ever felt the  pressure to have children - even when something inside you said otherwise - this episode is for you. Alex, resilience coach and host of Notes on Vulnerability, gets personal in this solo episode about what it really means to be child-free. Drawing on her own experience and the latest research (including a landmark study from the London School of Economics), she explores why so many women never even realise being child-free is a valid, joyful option - and what it takes to fully thrive in that choice. In this episode, Alex covers: Why child-free single women are statistically the happiest subgroup in societyHow social conditioning shapes our beliefs about motherhood - often without us realisingThe fears that keep women stuck (loneliness, FOMO, judgement) and how to move through themWhy having children is no guarantee of company or support later in lifeHow to update your internal map and build a life that's genuinely your ownThe importance of speaking your truth loudly and without apologyWhether you're questioning the path you've been handed, already child-free and working through the noise, or simply curious - this episode offers honest, grounded, and refreshingly unjudged perspective. "The most common regret of the dying is: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." Connect with Alex: Instagram: @alexresiliencecoachWebsite: shore-coaching.comIf you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life and start changing your self-perception to one that actually serves you. Here are links for: Use Code NOTES15 at YCODE for 15% off men's skincare.Explore The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.The Resilience Blueprint (£27).Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC

Erin Harris spent 28 years hiding her arm under hoodies and baggy jumpers. Today she's the two-time World's Strongest Disabled Woman with four world records to her name - and it all started from a single TikTok video.  In this episode Erin opens up about growing up with a limb difference, the bullying she experienced and how discovering Adaptive Strongman in 2022 completely transformed her life. What started as a gym session to lose weight before her wedding became a world-class athletic career - within just six months of training she won her first competition. We talk about: How Erin hid her disability for nearly 3 decades and what finally changed.Discovering Adaptive Strongman and being mentored by four-time World's Strongest Disabled Man Mark Tonner.The mental game of lifting - imposter syndrome, inner critics, and getting out of your own head.Breaking world records.The lack of funding in adaptive sport and why it matters.Being a role model for children born with limb differences.Recovering from a rotator cuff injury and relearning how to trust her body.Why she refuses to hide who she is online - bad days included.Erin's one note on vulnerability: don't hide who you are. Everything that makes you different is shaping the path you're meant to be on. Find Erin Harris here. If you enjoyed this episode you can sign up for 5 Resilience Coaching Questions to Change Your Life . Here are links for: Exploring The Herbtender range of wellness solutions (use code ADAPT20 for 20%).1:1 resilience coaching - book a free intro call here.Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breaking-ideas License code: 6NHMOGUA1OQR97OC