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What they say is true, the difference between the men and the boys is the amount of their toys. The only question left is does the size of the toy matter? Get in touch and let us know your favorite toy, manual or battery operated! 

If you like your teeth in your mouth, you don’t want to hire a professional food taster, you don’t want to have to hide all of the knives, and you never want to wake up with your wife standing over you with a pillow in one hand and a chloroform soaked rag in the other, … Continue reading Things you should never say to your wife – HS37 →

On this episode of Hello Stupid, Mark & Mike talk about bugs. Not the ones Mark got at sleep-away camp from Susie Mae rubbing up on him in his sleeping bag, or the ones that Mike found on the mattress at that very special hotel in Time Square, but real bugs, like you might encounter … Continue reading Ick Bugs! Stories from the rainforest and beyond – HS36 →

We all do it, there’s no way around it, it’s going to happen eventually, and there is nothing you can say or do to avoid it. No, we’re not talking about anal, we’re talking about death. Mark & Mike run you through some of the worst and dumbest ways to shed these mortal coils, and … Continue reading Worst Ways To Die – HS35 →

Auto anulingus, Chinese movie funding, therapeutic dry humping, and Rim Job Elmo, is there anything we left out of this episode? How about some great music by Kool and the Gang and Alan Doyle? Just to be clear about the Elmo thing, we also discuss Vibro Elmo, 3rd Reich Elmo, Taint Licking Elmo, and a few more. We didn't want to leave any of the new Hello Stupid line of Elmo's out. Oh, and can anyone explain to me why Night Ranger is still touring, isn't life hard enough as it is? All of this, and probably a whole bunch of other stuff you need to hear to make your life complete on this weeks episode of Hello Stupid with Mark & Mike.

How are Mark & Mike going to spend their Tik Tok earnings? Is Autotune a sign of the apocalypse, and proof the Devil is real? Is it wrong to miss the good old days of nocturnal emissions?  Anyone else remember waking up all sticky, boxers stuck to your thighs, sheets stiff as a board...giving God high fives in your head for the ability to blow one off without having to do any real work? Do you think Doofy ever had wet dreams? Plus, great music from Las Ketchup and The Firm. This and oh so much more from Mike & Mark, on this weeks edition of Hello Stupid.

Guess who is about to break Tik Tok? (and no it's not a 15 year old girl from Bayonne with big hair, an overbite, and daddy issues) Did Billie Joe Armstrong just prove that the possibility of a worse President than Trump exists? Why does Mark hate Twitter? Is it because nobody swiped right on his account? Should UC Radio make a valiant return, and put the music world right again? Mother Love Bone and Cheap Trick make the show this week, and it's about time, right? There was a bunch of other stuff on the show, but if I told you about everything here, then you wouldn't get those little butterflies in your tummy wondering what wisdom and joy Mike & Mark are bringing you this week.  Get in touch, please, Mark is so lonely with nobody swiping on his Twitter account. [email protected]

If you've ever abused an Elmo doll, Michigan is the place for you? And why is poor Elmo so often defiled? Is it his voice, his furry body, his lack of self worth, or is Elmo just too sexy for his own good? Do you enjoy dark jokes and sarcasm? Mark & Mike do, and apparently it's made us geniuses? Have the boys of Hello Stupid changed the world yet again by proving you don't have to be a 15 year old girl to rule the world of Tik Tok? Great music by Mammoth WVH and Velvet Revolver, ready to rock? And why is Mike so confused about Dixie Riddle Cups? All of this and so much more on this weeks episode of Hello Stupid.

Should Mark & Mike bring back Spratz Cat Food, I mean, don't all pussies deserve to be in fine form? Are dress sizes actually backwards? Should butter-faces be forced to wear high collars, and would it help their dating chances? Our new Million dollar idea, Tiger Pits for Kids Kits, the best way to keep those pesky kids out of your yard! How can we go wrong? Survey questions of the week, when a blind girl breaks up with you, would she say, "I'm seeing someone else", or "I'm feeling someone else's face"? Don't you agree it's about time that Mark recognizes Mike's amazing acting ability? This an so much more, like music from Bruno Mars and The Hold Steady, on this weeks episode of Hello Stupid with Mark & Mike. [email protected] Hello Stupid Website Hello Stupid on Tik Tok Mike's Music Playlist Mark's Music Playlist

Are baby carrots a sexual gateway vegetable to pickles? Does the term "unencumbered by pants" make anyone else queasy? If Cardi B made a video about sex with a cucumber, would she call it "Twerkin with the Gerkin"? Why do Girl Scout cookies taste better when they're delivered to your door with no interaction with those little green uniformed monsters? Why is the Midwest always 6 years behind the rest of the country, are they in some kind of competition with Florida the rest of us don't know about? Guess who has a Tik Tok account now, and just because Mark and Mike are world famous, incredibly successful podcast pioneers doesn't mean we don't have technical difficulty once in awhile. (way to go Mark) This and oh so much more, in episode 29 of Hello Stupid with Mark and Mike.

Have Mike & Mark found the next big Olympic event, and is PETA going to have a fit? Is it possible that Mr. Potato Head will make a comeback as the next new sex toy? Are sexy fruits and veggies Mark & Mike’s next Billion Dollar idea? Should Pussy the Musical be nominated for a … Continue reading The Next Great Olympic Event – HS28 →

Is it really wrong to touch yourself in an elevator, or should you stick to just touching others? What about just rubbing up on a book, rock, tree, stump (leg or tree), does that count? Is yelling "C'est Fini!" wrong in any sexual situation when you're done and heading for the door? Am I asking too many questions about choking the chicken? How badass is Jane's Addiction and Dave Navarro's guitar tone on "Mountain Song"? Mark's weekly survey: Is it sexier when a woman pulls her shirt off over her head, or when she slowly walks towards you unbuttoning her shirt? Mike's just happy when boobs make the scene and he's in the room. (The bar is pretty low for Mike) After talking about it for about a month, Mark plays Art d'Ecco "Head Rush", thank God is was worth the wait. What's a more terrifying headline for Buddhists, "Dali Lama gets shot", or "Is mindfullness really all it's cracked up to be?". Check the new format of the show, you don't need to drink a Red Bull to get through an episode anymore, that's right, we've trimmed the fat, tightened our shit up, and we're now a lean, mean, stupid machine. Experience this, and oh so much more, on this weeks episode of Hello Stupid with Mark & Mike. [email protected] hellostupidshow.com