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What happens when your sense of worth depends on being wanted, needed, successful, attractive, approved of, or reassured? In this episode, Piper explores contingent self-worth: the often subtle ways we use relationships, achievement, social media, and even therapy to answer the question, Am I okay? She examines why reassurance provides relief but rarely resolves the underlying problem, how harmful behaviors can persist even after we understand them, and why repeatedly changing therapists may sometimes preserve the very pattern therapy is meant to change. Therapy can help us understand where our patterns came from. But eventually, insight has to become action. The goal isn't to stop caring what other people think. It's to stop requiring their verdict before you know what you think of yourself. #untangledmindllc #UMPodcast #contingentself #selfworth #psychology #counselingtools  Read our blog: https://www.untangledmind.net/post/10-signs-you-ve-outsourced-your-self-worth Support the show

What happens when something true becomes the very thing keeping us stuck? In this episode of the Untangled Mind Podcast, Piper Harris explores the psychology of half-truths: beliefs that often begin with something very real- a betrayal, loss, painful relationship, frightening experience, or lesson learned through necessity- but gradually become conclusions about ourselves, other people, and the world around us. We’ll look at how half-truths form, why they’re so convincing, how they become reinforced through our own behavior, and how to separate what happened from what we concluded because it happened. Most importantly, we’ll explore how living according to only part of the truth can interfere with the very thing we’re seeking: healing. This episode was inspired in part by Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov and a passage that asks an uncomfortable question about suffering: What does it feed? For a deeper exploration of that question, read the companion Untangled Mind blog, “What It Feeds”  https://www.untangledmind.net/post/what-it-feeds #untangledmindllc #UMPodcast #Dostoevsky #BrothersKaramazov #halftruths  Support the show

Therapy has developed an impressive vocabulary for some surprisingly straightforward things. Resourcing. State recognition. Emotional regulation. Distress tolerance. Generalization. Sometimes the terminology is useful. Sometimes we have simply put a tuxedo on a coping skill. In this episode, Piper translates common therapy jargon into regular-human language and looks at what actually makes those concepts useful outside the therapy room. Because understanding why you do something is important, but insight alone does not create change. Good therapy provides assessment, direction, tools, practice, and accountability. Then comes the part your therapist cannot do for you: taking notes, following through on between-session work, practicing skills before you desperately need them, paying attention to your patterns, and learning to use what you've learned without your therapist sitting beside you. Counseling isn't magic. It's insight, skills, practice, and repetition. The goal isn't to become exceptionally good at therapy. It's to become increasingly capable of living your life without needing it. #untangledmindllc #umpodcast #UntangledMindInnovations #therapyhelp Support the show

I turned away a client who had already done the work. They could name what happened to them, understand why it shaped them, trace the pattern into their present life, and what they wanted from me was more sessions to keep going back in. This episode is about why I said no, and about a distinction I think our field collapses too often: the difference between processing a wound and picking at one. Using the image of a healing scab, I walk through the mechanism behind why reopening already-processed material doesn't add more healing; it just restarts the clock. I share five things I actually listen for when deciding whether someone needs to keep processing or needs to stop and heal, and make the case that this isn't a minor clinical blind spot. It's structural: our training, our business model, and our culture are all built to reward "more," and almost nothing rewards recognizing when something is finished. If you've ever wondered whether the discomfort you're still carrying means something's wrong, or whether it just means you're in the itchy, closing part of healing, this one's for you. In this episode: Why processing and healing are not the same thingThe scab analogy, and the actual mechanism behind it (memory reconsolidation)The client story that prompted this episodeFive signs you need to stop processing and start healingWhy the mental health field is structurally biased toward "more," not "enough"What to do instead if you're in the healing phase, not the processing phaseFull breakdown of the five signs, in writing, is on the blog: Why I Won't Pick Your Scab (Even When You Ask Me To) https://www.untangledmind.net/post/why-i-won-t-pick-your-scab-even-when-you-ask-me-to #untangledmindllc #UMPodcast #traumacounseling #acuteanxiety #therapeutictools Support the show

The final installment of the Holding Hope trauma series, where Piper Harris educates clinicians and survivors on how the triphasic model works within trauma therapy. Listen in or start from the beginning. #untangledmindllc #UMpodcast Support the show

Once a foundation of safety is established, many survivors feel ready to face what happened. This is Stage 2 of the triphasic model: Remembrance and Mourning. In this in-depth episode, Piper explores the purpose, science, and careful process of reconstructing the trauma story. You’ll learn why traumatic memories are often stored differently in the brain, how painstaking detail of both facts and feelings allows for true integration, and why this stage involves becoming a theologian, philosopher, and jurist all at once. Topics covered include: -The neuroscience of memory reconsolidation and why the brain continues processing for up to 48 hours after deep sessions -The difference between “Big T” and “little t” trauma and when remembrance work is appropriate -Moral injury, what it is, how it differs from PTSD, and how it surfaces in the questions “Why?” and “Why me?” -The normal “post-processing slump” and how to navigate it-Red flags for both clients and clinicians -The importance of pacing, titration, and the therapist’s ability to hold space This episode is essential listening for survivors considering deeper trauma work, loved ones wanting to understand the process, and clinicians seeking to practice Stage 2 of the triphasic trauma model, responsibly and ethically. Trigger warning: This episode discusses the reconstruction of traumatic memories, emotional intensity, grief, mourning, existential questions, and moral injury. While we do not use graphic details, the content can still be activating. Please take care of yourself and pause as needed. Episode 1 in the series: https://youtu.be/IwvwaQJgqL4 Episode 2/Stage 1: https://youtu.be/Am7ao5RZ8ss Resources: -Georgia Crisis & Access Line: 1-800-715-4225 -Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 -National & GA Resourceshttps://www.untangledmind.net/nationalandgeorgiaresources-untangledmind-georgia-mental-health-counseling #untangledmindllc #umpathway #traumainformed #judithherman #traumatherapist #EMDR #prolongedexposure Support the show

Safety is not a warm-up stage. It is the essential foundation of all trauma recovery.In this deep dive into the first phase of the triphasic model, host Piper explores why genuine safety, both external and internal, must come before any deeper trauma processing. Drawing from Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery, she unpacks one of the book’s most powerful passages.You’ll learn:-Why safety is the non-negotiable starting point and what happens when it’s skipped-The real, often painful cost of freedom for survivors of prolonged trauma, abuse, and coercive control-Practical ways to build external and internal safety-Common red flags when clinicians rush past this stage and why this mistake can cause real harm-How the triphasic model is not strictly linear, we often need to return to safety again and againWhether you are a survivor trying to create stability in your life, supporting a loved one, or a clinician wanting to practice truly trauma-informed care, this episode offers honest insight and compassionate guidance.Resources:-Georgia Crisis & Access Line: 1-800-715-4225-Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741-National Domestic Violence Hotline & RAINN-National & GA Resourceshttps://www.untangledmind.net/nationalandgeorgiaresources-untangledmind-georgia-mental-health-counseling#untangledmindllc #umpodcast #umpathway #traumainformed #traumatherapist #ptsdhelp Support the show

What if your body still believes you’re in danger long after the threat has passed? What happens when “just talk about it” or jumping straight into processing memories actually makes things worse?In the premiere episode of Holding Hope: Trauma, host Piper introduces the foundational realities of trauma and why a clear roadmap is essential for genuine healing. We explore the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study, breaking down the 10 categories of childhood adversity (abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction) and what high ACE scores reveal about long-term impacts on the brain, body, and nervous system.Drawing from Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery alongside modern neuroscience (including insights from The Body Keeps the Score), this episode lays the groundwork for the triphasic model of trauma-informed care: Safety, Remembrance & Mourning, and Reconnection.Whether you’re a survivor trying to make sense of your experiences, a loved one wanting to understand, or a clinician who calls yourself “trauma-informed” but hasn’t deeply studied the triphasic sequence — this episode is for you. Learn why safety must come first, how the central dialectic of trauma affects us all, and why rushing past the foundational stages can cause more harm than good.Piper shares honest reflections from her own reading of Herman’s book (including margin notes like “Augh. Reading this hurts — It’s true”) and ends with a gentle listener prompt to help you locate where you are in the healing journey.Trigger warning: This episode discusses the effects of trauma, including abuse and household dysfunction. Take care of yourself — pause or seek support if needed.Resources mentioned:-Georgia Crisis & Access Line: 1-800-715-4225-Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741-National Domestic Violence Hotline & RAINN-National & GA Resourceshttps://www.untangledmind.net/nationalandgeorgiaresources-untangledmind-georgia-mental-health-counseling-Dr. Melinda Paigehttps://melindapaigephd.com/-SHARE Military Initiative/Shepherd Centerhttps://shepherd.org/treatment/services-clinics/share/-GA First Responder PTSD Programhttps://gfrptsdinsurance.com/#untangledmindllc #umpodcast #umpathway #traumainformed #triphasicmodel #traumatherapist Support the show

What if your body still believes you’re in danger long after the threat has passed? What happens when “just talk about it” or jumping straight into processing memories actually makes things worse? In the premiere episode of Holding Hope: Trauma, host Piper introduces the foundational realities of trauma and why a clear roadmap is essential for genuine healing. We explore the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study, breaking down the 10 categories of childhood adversity (abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction) and what high ACE scores reveal about long-term impacts on the brain, body, and nervous system. Drawing from Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery alongside modern neuroscience (including insights from The Body Keeps the Score), this episode lays the groundwork for the triphasic model of trauma-informed care: Safety, Remembrance & Mourning, and Reconnection. Whether you’re a survivor trying to make sense of your experiences, a loved one wanting to understand, or a clinician who calls yourself “trauma-informed” but hasn’t deeply studied the triphasic sequence — this episode is for you. Learn why safety must come first, how the central dialectic of trauma affects us all, and why rushing past the foundational stages can cause more harm than good. Piper shares honest reflections from her own reading of Herman’s book (including margin notes like “Augh. Reading this hurts — It’s true”) and ends with a gentle listener prompt to help you locate where you are in the healing journey. Trigger warning: This episode discusses the effects of trauma, including abuse and household dysfunction. Take care of yourself — pause or seek support if needed. Resources mentioned: -Georgia Crisis & Access Line: 1-800-715-4225 -Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 -National Domestic Violence Hotline & RAINN -National & GA Resourceshttps://www.untangledmind.net/nationalandgeorgiaresources-untangledmind-georgia-mental-health-counseling -Dr. Melinda Paigehttps://melindapaigephd.com/ -SHARE Military Initiative/Shepherd Centerhttps://shepherd.org/treatment/services-clinics/share/ -GA First Responder PTSD Programhttps://gfrptsdinsurance.com/ #untangledmindllc #umpodcast #umpathway #traumainformed #triphasicmodel #traumatherapist Support the show

What if the sting of criticism or feedback wasn’t something to avoid, but your greatest tool for personal growth? In this episode, I share how a single piece of honest feedback from a recent counselor training (that could have derailed me years ago) barely phased me this time, and why that shift matters. I open up about a grad school professor whose constant nitpicking once felt like a personal attack, only to become one of my most valuable mentors. Along the way, we dive deep into the psychology of offense: why we get so defensive, the cognitive biases (like self-serving bias, confirmation bias, and negativity bias) that fuel it, and how shifting from a fixed to a growth mindset can turn those uncomfortable moments into powerful opportunities for change. You’ll walk away with practical questions to ask when offense hits, tools to build quiet, resilient confidence, and a new way to see feedback, not as a threat, but as data that helps you level up without the emotional baggage. If you’ve ever replayed a critical comment, gotten defensive in a meeting, or struggled to receive tough feedback, this episode will help you flip the script. Tune in and discover how to use offense as your secret superpower. #untangledmindllc #UMpathway #UMPodcast #offense #mentalhealthhelp Support the show

You like your therapist.The sessions feel safe and supportive. But deep down, you know nothing is really changing. If you’ve ever left therapy thinking “I feel heard… but why am I still stuck?” this next episode is for you. This Friday, Emily Ferrara and I sit down to talk about what happens when therapy becomes comfortable… but not effective. We pull from Abigail Shrier’s Bad Therapy and get honest about the quiet ways people stay stalled for months or years. No fluff. Just practical truths about when it’s time to reassess. Episode drops early next week. Have you ever felt stuck in “good enough” therapy? Drop a comment or 🔥 below, you’re not alone. #untangledmindllc #UMPathway #UMPodcast Support the show

You've done the deep work in therapy: unpacked trauma, rewired thoughts, set boundaries, and felt real growth. So why do those old, nagging beliefs ("I'm not enough," "I don't belong," "They're just being nice") still sneak in and tint how you see yourself in everyday moments? In this episode, we explore a common experience for people who've committed to serious personal work: the lingering "filter" of outdated self-beliefs. Even with new insights and tools, these core views act like tinted glasses, turning neutral interactions into proof of unworthiness, exclusion, or failure. Using a powerful reminder shared in session: "Be careful to make a judgment about your place at the table rather than other people’s manners at the table, "we unpack why it's often not about them, but how you see yourself. #untangledmindllc #UMPathway #UMpodcast #anxietycounseling #traumatherapist #IntegrativeCBT Support the show

What is Good Therapy? This is a candid, standards-based conversation about what effective therapy actually looks like.In this series, I’m joined by Dr. Emily Ferrara of Simplify Life Counseling and Coaching. Our professional dialogue began around a shared concern: the growing gap between what therapy should be and what many clients are experiencing.Together, we explore:• How to identify a competent, structured therapist• Why some therapy feels vague or stalled• What to do when you’re not seeing progress• Why skepticism toward therapy exists, and how to evaluate it intelligentlyThis series is not about criticizing the field. It’s about elevating it. Therapy should include clear goals, defined methods, measurable progress, and an understanding of when treatment is complete. Clients deserve to know what they are entering into and how to assess whether it’s working.To support that, I’m providing a free listener guide:A structured list of questions to ask during therapist consultations so you can make informed decisions and pursue effective care.https://www.untangledmind.net/how-to-choose-the-right-therapistIf you are considering therapy or are currently in it and unsure whether it’s working, this series is designed to give you clarity, language, and direction.#untangledmindllc #premiercounseling #integrativeCBT #traumatherapist #anxietycounseling #EMDR #prolongedexposure #PTSD #GAD #therapythatworks #datadriven #Georgiacounselor #umpodcast Support the show

In this episode, I examine a subtle but increasingly common boundary violation: when strangers use moral or spiritual language to create unsolicited intimacy. This conversation is not about faith or intention. It is about psychology. I break down the behavioral pattern behind forced significance, why these interactions often provoke disgust rather than fear, and why women experience them disproportionately in public spaces. I also explore the broader cultural forces that enable this behavior, including the erosion of private meaning, the confusion of expression with virtue, and the growing discomfort with restraint. If you’ve ever left an interaction thinking, “That felt off, but I couldn’t explain why,” this episode gives language and psychological clarity to that experience. #untangledmindllc #premiercounseling #integrativeCBT #traumatherapist #UMpodcast Support the show

When symptoms resolve, functioning improves, and measurable outcomes indicate success, most people appropriately move on. But for a smaller subset, often those who have resolved trauma and reached psychological stability, progress gives way not to clarity, but to ambiguity. In this episode, Piper Harris, LPC explores the often-unspoken space that can follow symptom resolution. Drawing from developmental theory, integrative CBT, and existential psychology, she examines why this phase is not pathological, why not everyone reaches it, and why clinicians are rarely trained to recognize it. This episode is not about extending therapy indefinitely or searching for new problems to solve. It is about understanding a developmental transition that only becomes possible once survival-driven symptoms no longer organize the mind. If you’ve ever wondered why things can feel disorienting even after you’re “doing better,” this conversation offers orientation without pressure and clarity without forcing answers. #untangledmindllc #premiercounseling #integrativeCBT #traumatherapist #anxietycounseling #UMPodcast Support the show