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How can we experience crushing pain without experiencing it as suffering? Again and again, life brings us to a crossroads: will we hold our pain by ourselves, or let G-d meet us in it? In this conversation, Chaya Cowen reflects on grief, personal experiences of devastation, and the leap of allowing G-d into moments shaped by self-blame and anger toward Him. She shares how the loss of her first pregnancy, which ended in stillbirth, shaped her relationship with Hashem, and offers a moving reading of Eicha as a journey through self-blame, anger, and the search for connection. We also talk about how to pass Judaism on with honesty and joy: welcoming children’s questions, meeting the feelings beneath them, and modeling what it looks like to balance exploration with commitment. * * * * * * * Chaya Cowen is a Sacks Scholar, the Head of Learning & Teaching at Beth Rivkah Ladies College in Melbourne, and oversees a comprehensive high school curriculum and teaches courses in Tanach, Jewish History, and Jewish Philosophy. She has a passion for education with a focus on meaningful, empowered and personalized Jewish learning, and explores the interface between Judaism and the wider world. Chaya resides in Melbourne, Australia with her husband and four children. She can be reached at [email protected] To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS:00:00 The difference between pain and suffering 00:15 Welcome and the episode’s central question 03:35 Meet Chaya Cowen, educator and mother 05:13 Choosing a relationship with Hashem through life’s challenges 08:57 Fertility, loss, and facing what we can’t control 11:26 Reading Eicha as a journey through grief 17:31 Why we blame ourselves after tragedy 18:37 What happens when anger turns toward G-d 21:16 The leap of letting G-d into our pain 23:02 Drawing strength from ancestors and Jewish stories 24:42 The story of Zusha and a different view of suffering 26:04 Finding a way to express and process grief 28:01 How to acknowledge pain without being alone in it 30:58 How to support someone who is grieving 34:23 The lasting mark of pain and asking it for a blessing 36:14 Helping children build a relationship with Hashem 37:11 The educator as a “midwife” to Torah 41:10 Welcoming students’ questions without judgment 45:12 Balancing exploration with commitment 46:28 Modeling beauty and meaning in Jewish practice 49:34 Teaching Torah with joy and continued learning 52:25 Finding a personal path into Jewish life 54:33 Bringing joy, Shabbos, and questions into the home 55:21 Chaya’s closing message

Get a free download of Human & Holy's conversation cards for your Sukkah by becoming a monthly supporter of Human & Holy at humanandholy.com ❤️ * * * * * * * The sukkah is called the "shade of faith," but what happens when we sit inside it and feel nothing? What if we are entering Sukkos feeling more tapped into the uncertainty of life's winds, than the certainty of G-d's hug? Today, we explore Sukkos as a full-body experience of faith, absorbed simply by showing up to be there. Shoshana shares how she envisioned herself in the Sukkah's embrace when she was curled up inside the radiation machine for cancer treatment, and teaches the deeper Torah behind how we can carry the Sukkah's lingering touch through the inevitable joy, uncertainty, illness and hiddenness that we experience in daily life. * * * * * * * Shoshana Judelman is passionate about learning and growing through Chassidus. She is the founder of Nekaveh Lecha women’s seminary. She gives shiurim in Chassidus for women across Israel and in Midreshet Rachel V’Chaya in Jerusalem. Her shiurim can be found on Spotify and SoundCloud (Shiurim with Shoshana Judelman). Shoshana is also a guide at Yad Vashem and leads journeys to Poland and other countries for JRoots. She can be contacted at [email protected] To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — Introduction 01:48 — Welcome to Human & Holy 02:24 — Why Sukkos is Shoshana’s favorite holiday 03:25 — Entering the sukkah and reenacting the Clouds of Glory 05:17 — How lockdown changed the way Shoshana’s family celebrates Sukkos 06:19 — Intellectual versus embodied knowing 08:27 — Why do we celebrate Sukkos after Yom Kippur? 09:09 — The Golden Calf and the departure of the Clouds of Glory 10:21 — Yom Kippur, forgiveness and returning to relationship with Hashem 11:39 — The deeper embrace that follows rupture and repair 13:09 — Sukkos as a bridge between Yom Kippur and ordinary life 15:50 — A mitzvah rooted in presence rather than constant action 16:36 — Learning to see life through the lens of Hashem’s reality 18:00 — Building a reservoir of emunah for a random Tuesday in February 20:11 — The storm that destroyed Shoshana’s sukkah 22:42 — How the community rebuilt the sukkah within hours 24:00 — What a temporary structure teaches us about uncertainty 25:22 — The sukkah as the shelter of trust and haven of faith 27:33 — When it feels as though the Clouds of Glory have holes 28:02 — Life as a spiritual training ground 30:25 — Can painful experiences really be understood as expressions of love? 31:31 — Turning the sukkah into an “emunah gas station” 33:19 — Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis shortly before Sukkos 35:53 — Carrying the sukkah’s embrace into treatment 37:11 — Did Shoshana feel Hashem’s presence during radiation? 38:31 — The different “flavors” of Hashem in celebration and hiddenness 39:30 — “I don’t like it, but I know that this is also You” 40:55 — Practical ways to experience the sukkah more deeply 41:25 — The spiritual meaning of the arba minim 43:34 — Drawing embodied knowledge into the heart 44:28 — Bringing Divine love into our eyes, speech, posture and emotions 47:11 — How deeper Torah transforms our experience of a mitzvah 48:54 — Slowing down and using imagination while shaking the lulav 50:04 — Spending more time in the sukkah without pressuring ourselves to feel 52:11 — Shoshana’s message: believe that you can grow and change 53:05 — Growth is happening even when we cannot see it 54:02 — Carrying hope into the new year 55:00 — Closing and ways to support Human & Holy

A short excerpt from this week's Human & Holy pre-Yom Kippur morning in New Haven, CT. A poem, a conversation with Sara Rosenstein about returning to Hashem after years of disconnection, original music by Rivka Fenton about finding safety in leaning into God, and personal notes on being carried by God by our host, Rosie Gurevitch. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.

A conversation about Teshuvah through the dual lens of clinical attachment theory and Torah sources. We explore why perfect attunement in any relationship is a myth, and how the rupture and repair cycle of Teshuvah is actually what deepens our connections, rather than threatening it. Rus Devorah walks through how our early attachment styles get unconsciously projected onto our relationship with God, and offers concrete practices for moving toward a more secure, honest connection with Hashem during this season of return. Rus Devorah Wallen is the founder and owner of Torah Therapeutics. She is an accomplished musician, performer, social worker, psychotherapist, administrative consultant, lecturer, and community leader whose work bridges psychology and Torah wisdom. Find out more at toratherapeutics.com. Article referenced in this episode: https://substack.com/@toratherapeutics/p-212834537 * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00:00 ---- "Back to the future," not back to who you were 00:00:18 ---- Host intro 00:01:33 ---- Rupture, Repair, and the God We Think We Know 00:02:42 ---- The myth of perfect attunement 00:04:46 ---- Why rupture & repair creates a more stabilized relationship 00:05:07 ---- Attachment 00:07:55 ---- Projecting childhood attachment templates onto God 00:09:44 ---- Is it trauma,or is it truth? 00:10:49 ---- The HALTS acronym 00:13:12 ---- "The prisoner can't free himself from his own cell" 00:15:20 ---- Mapping secure / anxious / avoidant attachment onto our relationship with God 00:15:50 ---- What secure attachment looks like relationally 00:19:30 ---- Bringing the secure-attachment framework into relationship with Hashem 00:20:19 ---- Avoidant attachment with God 00:23:09 ---- Moving from an unhealthy attachment pattern toward a more secure connection with God 00:24:23 ---- Step one: learning to love yourself unconditionally 00:25:26 ---- The shofar's sounds (tekiah, shevarim, teruah) as a metaphor for inner emotional release 00:27:12 ---- "Back to the future" — becoming fuller, not returning to a former self 00:30:35 ---- Teshuvah as "a descent for the sake of an ascent" 00:34:12 ---- The difference between reunion and real repair — Rambam's stages of teshuvah 00:41:31 --- Controlled stress as models for growth 00:42:44 ---- Starting with the smallest possible action 00:43:48 ---- Practical example: rebuilding belief in God one tiny step at a time 00:45:22 ---- Finding an outside perspective to guide the process 00:45:48 ---- Secure attachment with God makes room for doubt 00:47:00 ---- Coming to God honestly, without whitewashing pain 00:48:31 ---- Needing secure human relationships first 00:52:13 ---- Reconciling a loving, all-seeing God with the felt experience of suffering 00:52:59 ---- Her stroke story; trusting there was a purpose in crisis 00:55:26 ---- Teshuvah creates something new, not a return to a childhood faith 00:56:52 ---- Holding childlike wonder within an adult relationship with God 00:58:23 ---- Using imagination and visualization to access sweetness 01:00:20 ---- What if your childhood has no sweet memories to draw from? 01:03:26 ---- Building everyday resilience through imaginal rehearsal 01:04:16 ---- Bringing our full, imperfect selves to God 01:06:40 ---- Avinu Malkeinu: God as both King and Father 01:07:25 ---- Closing question 01:08:01 ---- Host's outro

What is Rosh Hashanah, the birthday of the world, inviting us to? In this recording of our Human & Holy Rosh Hashanah event in LA, we sit with powerful Torah sources to look at the opportunity available right now to co-create a new year with G-d. This episode explores why Rosh Hashanah is a relationship story, this time of year as a renewal of our capacity for choice, why being fully seen by Hashem can fill us with safety rather than dread, and why the mitzvah of the shofar has no single "right" sound, because the sound it's supposed to produce is whatever it produces in you. Join us on Youtube to follow along with the slideshow of sources. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00–01:44 Capacity for choice & waking up from sleep 01:45–03:56 Breath and the Shofar 03:57–07:25 Moving to a shorter line 07:26–07:53 Judgment or compassion? 07:54–12:09 Being fully seen by Hashem 12:19–14:07 What if you have a fear of being seen? 14:08–16:38 Teshuvah as ongoing relational repair 16:40–20:13 Hour by hour of the first day of creation 20:14–24:22 Ayeka: where are you? 24:41–29:36 What if.I bring no intention to Shofar? 29:37–30:16 Only the individual can say "You are my King" 32:31–35:15 What does the Shofar's sound produce in you?

So...how are we doing? We're ringing in the new Jewish year with a Jewish State of the Union: where have we been this last year and where are we headed? Today, I sit down with four people who each have a finger on a different pulse of Jewish life. ChayaLeah Sufrin, executive director of Beach Hillel and host of the Ask a Jew podcast, walks through the year's defining global stories, reflects on what this moment is asking of the Jewish people and gives us some predictions for the year ahead. Comedian Chani Lisbon joins for a lighter, faster cultural check-in: why comedians are having a moment, what the whole Jewish world got obsessed with this year, and a rapid-fire round of "in or out" on everything from Pesach programs to WhatsApp statuses. Rivki Rabinowitz, a beauty influencer and interior designer whose work has been featured in Architectural Digest, The Wall Street Journal and more, gives modest fashion the real trend report it deserves: what's replacing slip skirts, her one unforgivable fashion sin, and how she holds beauty and depth as the same thing, not opposites. Closing with a brilliant bang is writer and culture shaper Mimi Hecht's reflections on language: why the term "Hashem" is having a comeback, why words like "healing" and "capacity" have worn thin, the return of words like service and collective, and why specificity is rising in our culture's choice of words. Underneath every conversation, one thread kept showing up: this is the year where every Jew just wants to feel like a Yid. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00:00 Segment 1— ChayaLeah Sufrin: The Jewish Year in Review 00:03:31 The five biggest Jewish stories of the year 00:07:35 How to stay informed without living in fear 00:12:54 What is this moment asking of the Jewish people? 00:13:36 A worry people should let go of 00:16:16 What Israel needs from Diaspora Jews right now and vice versa 00:21:18 ChayaLeah's predictions for the new year 00:24:44 Young Jews seeking authentic, substantial Judaism 00:27:00 Segment 2 — Chani Lisbon: A Cultural State of the Union 00:27:59 Why comedians are having a cultural moment right now 00:29:16 Top cultural moment of the year 00:30:06 What everyone got obsessed with this year 00:32:43 Hot take: Why Chani doesn't want a "trendy" rabbi 00:36:15 Rapid-fire "In or Out": pickleball, WhatsApp status, and group tours to Kazakhstan 00:43:11 What people are actually craving 00:45:00 Segment 3 — Rivki Rabinowitz: The Modest Fashion Report 00:46:43 How social media made modest fashion mainstream and immediate 00:52:27 The current "modest girl uniform" 00:52:46 Fashion predictions for the year ahead 00:55:46 Modest makeovers by profile 00:57:01 Rapid-fire 01:00:12 Can aesthetics and depth coexist? 01:04:58 What modesty invites her into creatively 01:09:01 Segment 4: Mimi Hecht on the State of words 01:09:10 Returning to the word "Hashem" 01:15:02 Why we reached for substitute language in the first place 01:18:18 Choosing specific Jewish language as an act of confidence 01:19:34 Why is our culture tired of the word "healing"? 01:26:04 A generational shift in language from self-focus back toward giving 01:32:11 Rapid-fire "Replace the Word" 01:36:29 Defining Chassidic terms in plain language: neshama, mitzvah, and kelipah 01:45:02 Why the term Avodas Hashem makes Mimi emotional 01:46:55 Using words honestly 01:48:43 Host's Outro

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. This episode is an impactful moment extracted from the original conversation. Watch the episode in full here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VuF9NwQt8o Rebbetzin Rachel Jacobs built a Jewish community in Birmingham, UK from the ground up: a Chabad house, a Torah Tots nursery, a Hebrew school, and a role as the only Jewish studies teacher in a school of 160 students. In this excerpt, we explore what happens when you feel called to build something and no one shows up, and how she learned to measure success by relationships instead of numbers. Rachel shares the Torah teaching that convinced her to start a Hebrew school with just six kids, and what it felt like years later watching those same kids read fluently from the Torah at their own bar and bat mitzvahs. A conversation about faith, community building, Jewish education, and redefining what success actually means. Rachel Jacobs, originally from Los Angeles, California, currently serves as Rebbetzin of Singers Hill Synagogue in Birmingham, England. She is also the Educational Director of the Torah Tots nursery school, the Cheder, and the Jewish studies program at the local King David Primary School. Over the past 20 years, Rachel has gained recognition as an inspiring Jewish speaker, with a particular focus on women’s issues and marriage. Her warmth, charisma, and insightful teachings have touched the lives of Jewish women across the United States and Europe. You can contact Rachel via [email protected] and on instagram @Rachelcjacobs. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — The ache of being called to something and hearing crickets back 00:23 — Rachel on the early, hardest days of building a Chabad house 04:03 — The real question underneath it all: are we measuring success by numbers? 04:21 — Starting Torah Tots with six kids: "affecting children from a young age is infinite" 05:41 — The reality now: down to two kids, and showing up anyway 05:53 — Called into King David School as the lone Jewish voice for 11 students among 160 07:35 — Leading through bureaucracy and red tape: "you have to go back to your why" 09:23 — Redefining the metric of success: deep impact on one person over reach to many 09:50 — Rachel's husband and the minyan he shows up for every night, no matter the count 12:53 — The Torah source that named her calling: Matos Masei and the tribes who chose to build 12:54 — Starting Cheder Club with five boys and one girl 14:56 — Years later: those same kids reading fluently from the Torah at their bar and bat mitzvahs 16:04 — "It's the positivity. People want to be part of success." 16:14 — Outro

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. Watch the original episode in full here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhnlNd2zd2w In this excerpt from a past episode with Devori Nussbaum, we explore healing a blocked heart, rooted in Tanya and Chassidic thought. We explore why arrogance and honesty are opposites, the Torah's real definition of humility, and the difference between grief and depression. Devori shares how the animal soul keeps us "small, safe, and in control" and the exact language for asking G-d for help from wherever you honestly are, not where you think you should be. If you've been feeling numb, disconnected, or far from Hashem, this episode is a way back in. Devori is an integrative psychotherapist who has trained in many different healing modalities including body psychotherapy, imago therapy, logotherapy, the energetics of food, quantum touch, breathwork, CBT, NLP, EMDR, IFS, inner child work and somatic modalities. She is also passionate about teaching Chassidus in a way that is accessible, relevant and embodied, showing people that these teachings are not just nice ideas, but a description of our reality. Get in touch with Devori and find out more about her work on www.devorinussbaum.com. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 — The antidote to the desire to be "transformed" 0:15 — Presencing your block: how to begin when you feel numb or disconnected 1:09 — Why honesty is what unlocks connection to Hashem 1:40 — The Tanya's teaching on the oneness of God and the kelipah (shell) of separation 2:57 — Pain vs. suffering: the difference between what hurts and the story we tell about it 4:08 — The void as a portal: Ayin (nothingness) as the source of infinite potential 5:09 — Bringing G-d's presence into your darkness: how tears open the way to joy 5:30 — The classic teaching: "To open hearts, to know what one sees and hears" 6:59 — Seeing past people's defenses to "the light behind their eyes" 8:22 — Living in constant one-on-one conversation with G-d 9:14 — Why we judge the external shell before we ever see the soul underneath 10:22 — The frequency of oneness: hearing it like a heartbeat, an undercurrent 11:49 — Clearing the noise: expanding your capacity to notice the sacred in ordinary things 13:31 — Where blocked hearts really come from: unacknowledged grief 14:12 — Grief, attachment, and learning to move through the seasons of life 17:25 — Is being present with pain against Jewish values? 17:56 — Merirut vs. atzvut: the Tanya's distinction between grief and depression 19:26 — Moving through the cycle of grief back into joy 21:41 — "Ask for help from where you actually are" 23:04 — Arrogance and honesty as opposites, and what true humility actually means 24:00 — Moshe Rabbeinu, humility, and the honesty of naming your own greatness 25:28 — "Small, safe, and in control": the animal soul's real agenda 26:26 — Living from the divine soul: success and failure as opportunities, not identity 28:20 — The real cost of letting go of an identity you've outgrown 30:22 — Peeling away the layers: why every threshold in life asks you to release something 31:51 — Closing thoughts

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. Watch the original episode in full here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3u2c4ErF-4 In this excerpt, we discuss why being "chosen" isn't a status, but a responsibility to model moral clarity for a world that's lost it. Why the Lubavitcher Rebbe called Shabbos candles a campaign, a mitzvah, an army, and why that language matters more after October 7th than it ever has before. Why the Haggadah spends almost no time on our slavery and nearly all of it on our freedom, and what that says about the story we choose to live inside of right now. This is an episode about the difference between reporting on darkness and building light, and why Inbal chooses the second one, every single day. Inbal Levin is a writer, former fashion model, and social media director for Chabad on Campus. You can connect with her via instagram @itsinbal. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — Being chosen means holding up a mirror 07:21 — The Seven Noahide Laws and moral clarity for everyone 09:02 — The Baal Shem Tov's answer to "Moshiach, when are you coming?" 11:24 — Trusting Hashem in the long security line and the delayed flight 14:15 — How every Jewish girl, age three and up, started lighting Shabbos candles 18:03 — The menorah they wouldn't let into Auschwitz 20:14 — Why the Rebbe used military language for mitzvahs 23:25 — Choosing to build light instead of reporting on darkness 26:15 — What Dara Horn's People Love Dead Jews gets right 26:56 — The Rebbe never said the word "antisemitism": what the Haggadah teaches about what you choose to emphasize 30:53 — Closing thought: you're not just living a story, you're choosing which one it is

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. Watch the original episode in full here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_0i0EAAC_4 This excerpt with Chanie Krasnianski explores the Jewish view on sexual intimacy and marriage. We explore the soul-level magnetism between men and women that is sourced in the creation of the world, and talk honestly about the lived experience: what it means when attraction shows up outside your marriage, why halacha starts to feel like a checklist the second you lose the relationship underneath it, and what it looks like to reclaim the mikvah as an immersion into light instead of one more item on the list. We also sit in the places that don't resolve as cleanly: religious guilt, growing spiritually at a different pace than your spouse, wanting closeness during niddah and not always getting it, and navigating personal discomfort around immersion in the mikvah. Mrs. Chanie Krasnianski is the shlucha in the Upper East Side in Manhattan, NY and a seasoned educator and Torah teacher. Contact Chanie at [email protected]. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * *TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — The soul-level reason for attraction between husband and wife 04:05 — Attraction outside your marriage: where it's really coming from 07:23 — Halacha as relationship, not checklist 10:32 — When the framework feels restricting, not freeing 12:44 — "We're human, not angels" 13:58 — Trust in Hashem, and the mikvah as immersion into light 20:18 — Bare minimum vs. growing on purpose 22:11 — Why halacha is freedom, not restriction 24:16 — Body image and privacy at the mikvah 26:30 — The headstand story 29:18 — Checking in with yourself when you won't call a rabbi 30:35 — Why none of us are objective about our own lives 37:53 — Calling a rabbi on a different continent — privacy and permission 40:05 — Religious guilt and "you're not your spouse's rabbi" 43:30 — Growing faster than your spouse — baby steps, not pressure 47:07 — When you're the one resisting your spouse's growth 48:49 — Your spouse as your mirror — the Adam-and-Eve reframe 50:49 — Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? 52:25 — Marriage as decades of weather 55:49 — Closing reflection and outro

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. In this excerpt, Shternie describes the way she moves through the world: not with a basket she guards, protecting what's "owed" to her, but with an empty one, open-handed, saying thank you every time something lands in it. Shternie Rosenfeld went through what she calls her own tsunami: a devastating divorce that cracked her open completely. In this conversation, she shares what actually got her through: a relationship with Hashem that is raw, honest, and full of open gratitude. We talk about the difference between feeling entitled to goodness and feeling worthy of it and about how gratitude isn't whitewashing our pain, but allowing it to live in the same body that is screaming, grieving, and being honest with G-d. * * * * * * * Shternie Rosenfeld has spent more than 25 years in Jewish education and community leadership, teaching everyone from preschoolers to seniors. She spent 15 years as director of the Chabad Fox Chapel Jewish Center, building its Hebrew School, summer camp, and adult education programs from the ground up. She went on to found The Jewish Spark, a nonprofit running weekly Kabbalah classes and community Shabbat and holiday programming, and now serves as Program Director of the Yonah Foundation, where she supports 38 community centers worldwide and empowers women to lead Torah classes globally. She has also taught at Yeshiva Schools, Hillel Academy, and Tzohar Seminary. Find out more at shternie.com To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * 00:00 — What got her through divorce 02:16 — Talking to Hashem like a best friend 03:55 — A real relationship, not a performed one 05:02 — Seeing kindness as Hashem's hand 05:40 — The basket metaphor 10:36 — Entitlement vs. worthiness 11:41 — What to do when you feel shortchanged 13:54 — Gratitude in the tiny things 15:08 — Modeh Ani as the daily reset 16:40 — The Torah source on what is owed to us 18:29 — Is gratitude ever dishonest? 19:28 — "There's room for both" 20:40 — Day by day 22:41 — Marriage as a mirror for Hashem 23:30 — Outro

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. How do you instill Jewish values from a young age, while leaving space for a child to grow into them on their own? In this conversation, we talk about why Judaism has to start as routine for young children before it becomes relationship, why “yes, unless you have a value to say no” changes everything with a teenager, the importance of physical touch in raising healthy children, and why mourning openly when our children's religious choices look differently than ours do can do real damage, even when it comes from love. This is a conversation about giving our children strong roots in their Judaism, and navigating the evolution from childhood to adulthood, as they begin to make their own choices in their relationship with G-d. Chani Heyman is a dynamic parenting coach, motivational speaker, educator, and Torah teacher who's passionate about empowering families to thrive. Originally from Los Angeles, Chani now calls Israel home. With a background rooted in the timeless wisdom of Rebbetzin Spetner and her own experiences as a mother of eight, Chani shares practical and inspiring guidance with parents worldwide.Through her engaging group classes, popular parenting column, and vibrant Instagram community @parentingwithchani, Chani sparks meaningful connections and helps families unlock their full potential. Find out more at https://theparentingclub.info. * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.* * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 How to build Yiddishkeit routines that feel as natural as brushing teeth 01:06 Building the routine: start at the smallest sustainable level 06:24 The teen shift 09:13 Foundation vs. peer pressure 10:45 The reframe: “Yes, unless you have a value to say no” 11:38 Choosing your battles 12:49 “Copy paste” — are we raising kids to replicate our table, or to be halachically their own person? 14:41 Finding a rav to define the lowest level that is still 100% halacha — the loose-fitting-pants story 16:44 When your child doesn't look like you 17:44 Is “because it would make my mother happy” a legitimate motivation for a teen’s mitzvah observance? 21:43 Why building the habit before the meaning arrives is so much easier than trying to build both at once at 20 22:17 Parental fear and projection 22:34 For ba’alei teshuva parents specifically — “I’m trying to give you what I didn’t have,” and why force backfires 23:33 Beyond 100% halacha — what it looks like when a child’s practice truly diverges 25:36 “Keep your relationship strong” 27:03 The sapling-and-tree image 28:17 The emotional baseline — what it is, and why it differs by age 28:26 Ten minutes of true one-on-one time 30:33 For teens: it’s not about the ten minutes, it’s about being available the moment they want you 32:15 Modeling adult relationships 33:37 Physical touch as an emotional need 35:40 The mother who couldn’t remember the last time she’d touched her 19-year-old son 38:45 Host's Outro

Human & Holy is on a season break for the rest of the summer! During this time, we're airing your favorite moments from the past few seasons. In today's excerpt with Jackie Glaser, we cover spiritual bypassing, noticing the patterns that keep showing up in our lives, cultivating self-worth and self-trust, navigating rejection, our flaws as filters while dating, recognizing that matchmakers do not have control over people's future when navigating the shidduch system, and strengthening our trust in God. To watch the full episode this excerpt is from, click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=243HxQfOx9E To contact Jackie or learn more about her courses, you can find her at jackieglaser.com or find Jackie on Instagram: datingbyjackieg * * * * * * * To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨ Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. * * * * * * * TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 Spiritual bypassing 2:04 How our patterns are signposts from Hashem, not punishments 3:07 Why we avoid taking responsibility, and turn anxiety into blaming Hashem instead 5:27 Going inward with compassionate curiosity instead of judgment 7:11 Turning to G-d as an escape hatch 7:21 Normalizing the pattern before moving forward 9:08 Self-trust as the real foundation behind who you marry 9:17 The somatic work begins: tuning into the body as a source of real data 12:45 Surrendering 14:23 Clearing subconscious blockage to make more room for closeness with Hashem 16:13 How our internal beliefs get projected onto strangers 17:35 Why healing the felt state dissolves the belief system underneath it 18:58 How the fear of rejection actually dissolves with this work 20:42 "I reject myself" — the most important relationship you'll ever build is with you 22:23 Disability or flaws as a filter in dating, not a disqualifier 24:05 Boundaries with matchmakers 25:44 When parents choose to "play the game" with a difficult shadchan for their child's sake 26:27 Hashem was never limited to a shadchan

A conversation about women's health & Jewish law, the more sensitive questions hidden behind women's seemingly straightforward halachic questions, how the concept of a Yoetzet Halacha came about, the difference between a halachic ruling and halachic advice, why the advice of "don't look at the toilet paper" can sometimes do more harm than good, the evolution of halachic thinking on IVF, the medical red flags that can be associated with "halachic infertility", the questions Dena gets most often, the ones that break her heart, and the ones that surprise her the most.  Dena Block is the Co-Director of Nishmat's Miriam Glaubach Center. Previously, she served as the Center's Associate Director and as a Yoetzet Halacha for several congregations throughout the tri-state area. She taught Gemara and Halacha at Ma'ayanot Yeshiva High School for Girls in Teaneck, NJ, where she also served as Director of Admissions. A graduate of the first class of Nishmat's Miriam Glaubach Center's U.S. Yoatzot Halacha Fellows Program, Dena worked on numerous MGC initiatives to broaden the impact of of Yoatzot Halacha before joining the Center full-time in 2021. Dena lives in Raanana with her husband and 5 children and can be reached at [email protected] [00:00] Welcome Dena Block  [01:00] Meeting women where they're at [01:50] Defining the term "Yoetzet Halacha" (women's halachic advisor) [02:48] The origin story: why the role was created [03:30] How women were being more stringent on themselves in silence, not more lenient — and the health/marital cost of that silence [04:24] Why more questions asked = more comfort, not less trust in rabbinic authority [05:00] How a Yoetzet answers — always with context, not just yes/no, to empower future understanding [05:48] The "question behind the question" — when the real issue isn't the halachic one [05:52] Example: a woman asking to go to mikvah early — the real story underneath [07:44] How that extra context changes the answer a posek gives [08:11] Story: a woman whose ongoing staining was actually a birth control issue  [10:15] Defining the boundary between a Yoetzet and a rav/posek [11:06] What "psak" actually means vs. general halachic knowledge [12:00] Judgment calls vs. established rulings  [12:16] Should women be taught to examine their own bedikah cloths?  [16:27] The bigger question — why can't a woman hold a halachic ruling position? [18:23] The humility and reverence in deepened knowledge [20:47] How halacha creates unusual bodily attunement [24:41] Why "don't look at the toilet paper" is advice Dena wants retired  [27:36] What IVF is and the original halachic concerns when it emerged [28:11] The concern over hashchatat zera (wasting seed) and how sperm collection is handled [29:36] How halachic opinion evolved as the technology became safer and more regulated [32:54] Common misconceptions about halachic infertility [34:34] Why a very short cycle can be a medical red flag, not just a halachic inconvenience  [35:22] Halachic literacy often reveals underlying health issues [35:23] Why unexplained staining should always prompt a doctor visit, even when it's halachically minor [37:08] Misconceptions around halacha and sexuality [38:53] The most common question Dina receives  [39:35] The hardest questions — women asking about mikvah while heading toward divorce [40:31] The range of what women are carrying — infertility, loss, mental health, marital strain [40:48] What makes Dina feel hopeful — when a woman expects "no" and hears "yes" [41:43] Witnessing halachic commitment and sacrifice [42:00] The number one thing women struggle with in this mitzvah — physical separation and lack of touch, more than the absence of sex itself [43:25] How the separation period affects men too, not just women [44:03] The biggest friction point between couples — the story of a woman who lied about her niddah status to avoid intimacy [46:26] Most unexpected mikvah locations [47:23] Closing question

A conversation about the gritty, messy experience of faith when the things you want are not a "not yet" but a "no", life as a mother of five adopted children while grieving a permanent infertility diagnosis, why sometimes we need to stop waiting for a miracle, trying again and being told “no” again by God after 20 years of accepting, the impact of life setbacks on marriage and being willing to get support, the spiritual framework that makes Chavie's faith possible, and choosing to live with joy even when life doesn’t go as planned. Chavie Bruk is the host of Totally Unexpected!, a podcast featuring long-form interviews that uncover the one unexpected moment that shaped her guests’ lives. She is the author of a weekly blog on Substack, a sought-after public speaker, and a passionate advocate for adoption and infertility awareness. She and her husband are the directors of Chabad-Lubavitch of Montana, where they have spent nearly two decades building Jewish life out west and are the parents of five adopted children. She is an avid reader, traveler, fitness and health enthusiast, and endlessly curious about this messy ride we all call life. Listen to Totally Unexpected! wherever you get your podcasts and read her blog at www.totallyunexpected.blog. Chavie can be reached on Instagram @chaviebruk or by email at [email protected] To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at [email protected] To support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor. 00:00 Introducing Chavie Bruk 02:52 Chavie introduces herself 04:23 Seasons of family vs. seasons of community service 08:39 Why she lets her community see the harder parts of her life 10:42 Permanent infertility diagnosis 15:33 Choosing to live fully inside the hardest years instead of just surviving them 17:22 The "why me" question — and how it eventually became "how" 20:11 Acceptance isn't linear — re-accepting the same grief at a deeper layer, years later 22:50 Holding grief and gratitude at the same time 23:09 Her unconventional relationship to miracles — the decision she made on her 30th birthday 26:02 When spiritual belief becomes spiritual bypassing — and how to tell the difference 29:12 On waiting: traveling with a child with special needs instead of waiting for "someday" 34:00 Living in the thick of life — why she started her podcast without waiting for it to be easier 35:25 The toll hard circumstances take on a marriage — and the stigma around therapy 40:24 Learning your couple's "trigger dance," and the tools that actually hold a marriage together 51:04Turning a canceled marriage-counseling slot into a standing weekly coffee date 53:16What it actually looks like to grieve a life that didn't turn out how you expected 54:11 The twinge she feels when someone close to her gets pregnant — and giving it room instead of shame 58:56 The story she's never said out loud before: a new fertility possibility reopens after 20 years 1:00:09 Saying no, then yes, then the test — and the result 1:02:20 "Why did You do that?" — wrestling openly with Hashem after the door closed again 1:04:38 What her therapist helped her see: this wasn't a setback, it was another layer of healing 1:07:07 "That's not my story" — choosing what this experience gets to mean 1:11:14 Not every "not yet" is a not-yet — sometimes it's a no, and that's its own form of faith 1:13:33 Faith isn't feeling good when things go well — it's staying okay when they don't 1:14:22 Why she teaches Tanya — the mechanics of the spiritual world as grounding, not platitude 1:17:18 Living in the present moment as the antidote to shame about the past and fear of the future 1:22:36 Real bitachon isn't toxic positivity — Hashem wants your anger too, not just your best behavior 1:24:47 What "messy" actually looks like behind a polished, recorded conversation 1:26:35 Knowing your own constitution — why she's "fire," not Zen, and why that's not a flaw to fix 1:28:03 Rapid fire & outro