Advertise on podcast: Under 10: Mini Podcasts on Intimacy with Dr. Jessica Tartaro

When conflict takes over your relationships, most people default to silence. But silence wounds our relationships. When you use this tool, you won’t have to pay the price of silence between you and your loved ones again. 1:45 I’ve been seeing a lot of this in my private practice 1:58 Intimacy will show us the state of our hearts 2:24 Relationship challenges like a symptom 2:50 This can keep us in love for a lifetime 3:20 The set up for the silence 5:04 Silence can inadvertently convey things that aren’t true 5:49 The tool for disturbing the silence 6:10 An example of putting words to the silence 7:05 When we don’t put words to the silence, here’s what we risk” 7:57 Other examples 8:34 Neither of you has to guess 8:48 This week’s homework Resources: The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel (1964): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fWyzwo1xg0 Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash Contact Information: Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns “She” + “Her” Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together. Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

Reflective listening is deceptively simple. Anyone can practice it. And it has the potential to help us “catch up” when overwhelming events can be too much to digest on our own.    1:30 Emotionally metabolize events that are too big 2:15 Listening for dummies (not really) 2:35 A reflective listening example 3:04 It’s okay to be skeptical 3:40 It just works - here’s why 3:57 We hear through the filters over our ears 4:30 The costs of the distortion 5:23 Why “feeling heard” is so important 7:10 “I will not try to change you”. 8:44 Help us “catch up” to ourselves 9:07 This week’s homework 9:55 Be sure to include this follow up phrase Resources: Subscribe to my Patreon page to ensure you don’t miss an episode of "Under 10"! Find me at: Patreon.com/DrTartaroIntimacyCoaching. And for this week’s homework, check out Episodes 16 and 42 on my website here: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/under-10-podcast/. Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo by Tchoutcho Dantine de Thier on Unsplash Contact Information: Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns “She” + “Her” Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together. Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

When the going gets tough in relationship, sometimes you need more than words to reconnect you - you need bodies. In this episode "teaser", I introduce why sex as a practice can save and sustain your connection over the long term.  Check out the full show on Patreon.com/DrTararoIntimacyCoaching. 00:48 The door is closed and I’m going to share more candidly from here 1:08 The healing role of lovemaking to reconnect you 1:17 My husband and I had some surprising results 1:25 Sometimes it’s not words that will unblock you, it’s bodies 1:38 The end of this week’s teaser and where to find the rest of the episode 1:54 The perks of being a Patreon subscriber - not just podcasts! Resources: To listen to the rest of this episode and make sure you get all future episodes of "Under 10", go to www.Patreon.com/DrTartaroIntimacyCoaching. I look forward to seeing you there! Contact Information: Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns “She” + “Her” Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together. Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

Having things unsaid in a relationship will clog the pipes of your connection.  In this episode, I explain that it’s never too late to get vulnerable and bring the flow back.    00:49 Big announcement about “Under 10” 1:39 Where to find me on Patreon going forward 2:10 What “getting stuck” means 2:43 You know you’ve gotten stuck when these things are happening 3:23 Poop metaphor (skip ahead as needed) 4:20 This is what unclogs the pipes 4:45 It’s the vulnerability that creates the flow 5:14 An example from a friend’s hot first date and how she got stuck 7:02 The bad news and the good news about getting unstuck 7:48 This week’s homework 9:32 The pun I couldn’t resist 9:42 I hope to see you on Patreon! Resources: I hope you will consider becoming a patron of my work in order to avoid missing any episodes of "Under 10" as well as to get less edited, more raw content. Ready to go deeper with me? Find me at http://Patreon.com/DrTartaroIntimacyCoaching. And thank you! Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo by Nicholas Ng on Unsplash Contact Information: Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns “She” + “Her” Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together. Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“  

“Just moving on '' after the worst of the pandemic poses major risks to our quality of life and capacity to connect.  When you have the courage to slow down and honor what you just went through, you can retrieve and re-integrate the parts of you that got “stuck” in the stressors of the last two years. 1:15 Tempting to just put the stressors of the last two years behind us 2:00 We have all been affected 2:10 The first time I took my mask off 3:00 The definition and importance of continuity 4:20 Our culture rushes past impact 4:42 This is what could have been said 4:56 A “catching up” 5:42 The high costs of just moving on 6:05 Story by Rabbi Bernath about beauty in a metro station 7:00 Shouldn’t beauty arrest us no matter what we are doing? 7:27 The relationship between stopping for beauty and stopping for pain 8:25 This is how we “unstick” from where we got stuck in the past 8:40 This week’s homework – 3 parts Resources: Read the full essay by Rabbi-Yisroel Bernath, “Missing the Beauty, here: https://st-ignatius.net/missing-the-beauty/.  Check out a blog I wrote about my community’s transition out of masks here: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/masks-coming-off-why-transitioning-gently-matters/.  And contact me for more information about speaking to your group by emailing me at [email protected]. Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo credit Antonio Guillem from iStock Contact Information: Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns “She” + “Her” Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together. Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

In this week’s episode, I delve into the importance of a self-pleasure practice and specific steps you can take to create or deepen your practice.  Whether you’ve been pleasuring yourself for a lifetime or have never felt ready – until now – I’m grateful you’re along for this exploration. 1:56 Yes, masturbation can be a practice 2:10 What happens to our psychology when we hide or don’t share something 3:06 Our attention changes the object of our attention 3:24 Something fractured getting more whole 4:13 Masturbation as a full body, self-honoring ritual 4:51 Paying attention to ourselves is counterintuitive to our cultural programming 5:28 Quote by Eduardo Galleano 6:06 Pleasure is a pathway to inhabit yourself 6:58 I choose to be a fiesta. 6:55 An imagination exercise 8:00 Permission to make it up and let go of a goal 9:18 This week’s homework Resources: In addition to celebrating the body, Eduardo Galeano (1940-2015) was a passionate advocate for human rights and social justice. Read more about him as well as listen to interviews here: https://lannan.org/bios/eduardo-galeano. Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash Contact Information: Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns “She” + “Her” Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together. Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

Most people feel some shame about masturbation.  Yet self-pleasuring is a powerful way to know what your body wants. In this episode, I tell the story of how I met the Grandmother of Masturbation and invite you to reflect on your earliest messages about your body’s pleasure. 1:01 Exploring your body shows you what feels good and what doesn’t 1:23 I dedicate this episode to Betty Dodson, the Grandmother of Masturbation 1:57 The story of how I got humped by Betty 4:51 My self-pleasuring origin story 7:35 It can feel intimidating to try 7:46 Exploring your body is a way to meet yourself 8:26 Our culture is terrified of us getting sexually empowered 8:44 The locus of control shifts 8:56 This week’s homework Resources: Betty Dodson died on October 31, 2020, but her legacy lives on. Find her book, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving anywhere books are sold including here.  And watch one of the final interviews she gave before her death on the Netflix series, “Goop Lab”, in Season 1 Episode 3, “The Pleasure Is Ours”: https://www.netflix.com/title/80244690. Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo by Apostolos Vamvouras on Unsplash Contact Information: Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns “She” + “Her” Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together. Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

In the moments when your feelings are bigger than you can handle, it’s important to have options. In this show, I share three “go to” principles to practice both when you most need it and especially in the times when you don’t. 1:35 No one-size-fits-all solution 2:13 You have to notice where you are in order to change it 2:55 Tracking in low stakes moments 3:36 I got lost and here’s what I found 4:57 The first principle 5:15 The second principle which you actually learned in kindergarten 6:32 The third principle – you have to fill in the blanks. 8:02 This week’s homework 9:41 An exercise we can do together right now Resources: Read about and listen to Krishna Das, chanting and meditation teacher and amazing storyteller, here: https://www.krishnadas.com/. Find All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten and other books by Robert Fulghum here: https://www.robertleefulghum.com/books/.  Email me to find a buddy at [email protected]. Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo by Simran Sood on Unsplash Contact Information: Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns “She” + “Her” Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together. Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

When we only show our outsides to each other, we can feel alone. In this episode, I show you my insides and give you permission to do the same and to feel how connected we truly are.  1:05 There’s one main problem with being f*cked up 1:33 What if we had that social permission slip? 2:00 My intimacy coaching program gave us permission 2:55 I make an admission 4:02 When people we think have it together admit that they don’t 4:55 The power of showing our insides 5:20 I give you permission 5:50 A couples coaching example 6:22 The shame turns hurt into hopeless 6:40 Thomas Huebl and the collective nervous system 7:44 What we each do impacts the collective 8:21 A dream message 9:27 This week’s homework. Resources: Thomas Huebl has a wealth of resources including free meditations and access to courses and lectures on his website here: https://thomashuebl.com/ Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash Contact Information Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns "She" + "Her" Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.” Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro". 

Though it may seem simple, opening with gratitude when what you want in love touches you can shake you to your core.  In this episode, I explain why and offer you practices for growing this capacity.  1:21 Caveat: you may not like this story 1:40 Something very delicious in my life 2:33 What do you notice? 2:52 The first principle – the ability to joy in another’s joy 3:50 Can you tap some of this as if it was yours? 4:00 It will take training to stop contracting at others’ happiness. 4:50 Finding by Brene Brown about gratitude and joy 5:22 What are my options for responding to his love? 6:07 To pause in the face of beauty and say, I will let you touch me 6:45 This is why genuine, embodied gratitude can be so hard 7:41 Gratitude is a verb. 7:55 This week’s homework. 9:29 Gratitude can help us heal. Resources: The famous orgasm diner scene from When Harry Met Sally is always worth a watch: https://youtu.be/lNEX0fbGePg. Read more about Brene’s Brown’s finding that gratitude invites more joy at: https://globalleadership.org/articles/leading-yourself/brene-brown-on-joy-and-gratitude/ Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo by ABDALLA M on Unsplash Contact Information Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns "She" + "Her" Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.” Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".   

When you start to get what you want in love, a whole new challenge arises – the opportunity to learn to live life at a higher voltage.  In this episode, I offer you practices for expanding gradually so you can receive what you want without getting in your own way.  1:15 My friend Dina and her new, hot and heavy relationship 2:07 There’s a catch. 3:23 Watch out for getting what you want! 3:44 The panic attacks I had when I first started dating my husband 4:25 We can get habituated to deprivation 5:33 The roller coaster may be shining a light on this 6:58 You may need to try these two things 7:17 This week’s homework 8:40 You are aiming to expand gently over time. 9:35 Learning to be happy is a practice. Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash Contact Information Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns "She" + "Her" Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.” Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".   

You can spend your life focusing on what you don't want and criticizing the people who want to help you. Or you can get oh-so-turned on about the best two minutes of your life.  You decide.  1:40 The negativity bias saves us time and again 3:00 But it undermines us in love 3:40 Quote by Dr. Rick Hansen to help understand this sticky phenomenon 4:28 Consider this the “off” switch for the negativity bias 5:42 Imagine this scenario of pleasure, heat and desire building...and then. 7:15 What would you do? 7:50 Instead of your default response, try this. 8:37 Blow your breath on the ember of what you want and see it grow. 9:34 This week’s homework Resources: I have referenced Dr. Rick Hanson before. He’s a badass. Check out his books, programs and free resources including meditations for retraining your brain at: https://www.rickhanson.net/.  And sign up in advance for my next Intimacy Salon on March 16th! The first one was so fun. People said they left feeling less alone, more connected and more clear about asking for what they wanted.  Get your ticket at: https://tinyurl.com/IntimacywithDrJessica Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley Photo by Sawyer Brice on Unsplash Contact Information Dr. Jessica Tartaro Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator Pronouns "She" + "Her" Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562 Email: [email protected] Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/ “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.” Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".