Advertise on podcast: The Intimate Marriage Podcast, with Intimacy Doctor Alexandra Stockwell, MD

What if great sex in a long-term marriage isn't something you either have or don't have, but a skill you learn together? In this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD sits down with intimacy expert Susan Bratton for an expansive conversation about desire, pleasure, arousal, and creating a sex life that keeps getting better with age. Susan shares the story of how she and her husband transformed their own sex life after years of frustration and explains why good lovers stay growth-oriented and keep learning together. Alexandra and Susan explore why it's healthy not to want bad sex, how small offers create more opportunities for desire, and why couples need to move beyond the monotony of monogamy by bringing novelty and variety into their intimate lives. They also discuss touch without expectation, yoni and lingam massage, sexual wellness products, and the importance of slowing down enough to let arousal build. Throughout the conversation, Susan emphasizes that pleasure is a learnable skill and that mistakes, experimentation, curiosity, and communication are part of creating deeper connection and more satisfying sex. About Susan Bratton Susan Bratton is an intimacy expert, educator, author, and podcaster who teaches couples how to create passionate, connected sex lives that improve with age. After realizing that she and her husband had never been taught the skills they needed for truly pleasurable sex, Susan immersed herself in workshops, education, and sexual transformation. She went on to devote her career to teaching couples the practical skills that helped transform her own marriage. Susan has spent decades helping people develop better intimacy, communication, arousal, and pleasure skills. She is the founder of Personal Life Media and has created books, programs, and resources designed to help couples continue growing together sexually. Connect with Susan Bratton: Go to www.drivedesire.com to purchase Pleasure Pods, the Pulse Queen Oscillating Yoni Massager, the LuXus Intercourse Toy, and lots of other great products. Follow Susan on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/susanbratton/ Resources Mentioned: Resolving Arousal Mismatch with Susan Bratton Intimate Marriage Podcast episode Drive Desire: drivedesire.com Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Alexandra Stockwell, MD here:Amazon Download the first chapter of Alexandra Stockwell, MD's bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here:Download the first chapter Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Alexandra Stockwell, MD's proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully: Aligned & Hot Marriage Join Alexandra Stockwell, MD's email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights, and opportunities to learn with you: Join the email list

When life gets busy, intimacy can easily become something couples only think about when they're having sex. In this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD introduces the concept of intimacy dates: intentional time set aside to cultivate emotional, sensual, physical, and erotic connection without the pressure or expectation that it has to lead to sex.  Alexandra explains why decoupling intimacy from sex creates more safety, relaxation, playfulness, and desire, and shares practical ideas for creating intimacy dates that fit your relationship, energy levels, and personality. She also explains how these small, consistent moments of connection can have a compounding effect, creating more tenderness, vulnerability, and joy in your marriage. 50 Ideas for Intimacy Dates: alexandrastockwell.com/ideas Subscribe To The Intimate Marriage Podcast: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect With Alexandra Stockwell, MD: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Alexandra Stockwell, MD here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download the first chapter of Alexandra Stockwell, MD’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Alexandra Stockwell, MD’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.alignedhotmarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join Alexandra Stockwell, MD’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights, and opportunities to learn with her: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Having stronger, more satisfying orgasms has nothing to do with your age. It’s about understanding your body, your relationship, and what actually works for you now. In this episode, Alexandra Stockwell, MD answers a question from a woman who wants to know how to teach her husband to create the kind of intimacy and orgasms she experienced when she was younger. Her answer goes far beyond what happens in the bedroom. Alexandra breaks the process into three essential areas: cultivating emotional intimacy before sex, slowing down and becoming more attuned to the body during sex, and taking responsibility for your own physical and sexual awareness. She explains why women often need more time to warm up, why moving from the periphery toward the center matters, and how experimenting with edging can expand the intensity of orgasmic experiences. She also emphasizes the importance of knowing your own body. Understanding what feels good, where you like to be touched, and how you respond gives you the ability to communicate with your partner clearly and confidently. In this episode, you'll discover: - Why emotional intimacy sets the stage for sexual intimacy - How to create more time and space for arousal - Why confidence and attunement matter inside and outside the bedroom - How edging can expand erotic energy and orgasmic intensity - Why knowing your own body makes communication with your partner easier - How physical and physiological health factor into sexual pleasure You don't have to recreate the sex you had in your 20s. You get to discover what feels even better now. May you have richer, more satisfying orgasms, and more intimacy along the way.

What happens when we stop treating sexual health as something separate from overall health? For many women, sexual vitality, sensation, arousal, and pleasure gradually change with age, yet these experiences rarely receive the attention they deserve in conventional medicine. In this episode, Alexandra Stockwell, MD sits down with Dr. Debra Durst, known as “The SexMD,” to explore the fourth element of great sex in a long-term relationship: physical health and vitality. Dr. Durst shares how her own journey from emergency medicine to sexual wellness revealed a major gap in healthcare, and why women deserve comprehensive care that addresses sexual function, not simply reproduction or disease prevention. They discuss sexual rejuvenation therapies, hormones, blood flow, erectile tissue, arousal, orgasmic strength, and the experience of feeling more fully connected to your body. Alexandra also shares her own experience receiving treatments at Dr. Durst’s clinic and the striking sense of physical awakening and wholeness she experienced afterward. In this episode, you'll discover: - The four elements required for great sex in a long-term relationship - Why female sexual health receives far less attention than it deserves - What sexual rejuvenation therapy actually addresses - How blood flow, nerve regeneration, and erectile tissue relate to arousal and pleasure - Why sexual vitality deserves attention throughout every stage of life - How Dr. Durst built a practice focused on comprehensive sexual wellness Dr. Durst’s message is simple and powerful: sexual health is not taboo, and we are never too old to embrace sexual creativity, vitality, and pleasure. Learn more about Dr. Debra Durst and RevitalyzeMD: https://www.revitalyzemd.com/ Watch Alexandra Stockwell, MD and Dr. Durst on the SexMD podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ru_mGdHug0

When couples feel disconnected sexually, they often focus on sex itself. But one of the most powerful ways to rebuild closeness is found in a different kind of intimacy: non-sexual physical touch. In this episode, Alexandra Stockwell, MD explores how intentional physical affection creates safety, connection, and attunement between partners. From holding hands and cuddling to giving a massage or simply putting an arm around your spouse, these small moments of touch communicate care without creating pressure or expectations around sex. Alexandra also explains why touch often disappears when couples are out of sync sexually, navigating infertility, or simply overwhelmed by parenting. She offers a practical framework for understanding what kind of touch feels best for each partner, including pressure, pace, and location, and explains why being fully present while touching your spouse makes the experience even more meaningful. In this episode, you'll discover: • Why non-sexual touch is essential for emotional and physical intimacy • How to create affection without making your partner feel pressured for sex • The three variables that determine whether touch feels connecting: pressure, pace, and location • Why your attention matters just as much as the physical touch itself • How everyday affection helps your bodies relax and release emotional armor • Why non-sexual touch actually enhances your sexual connection Intimacy isn't created only through sex. It starts with a hand held gently, an intentional embrace, or simply being fully present with the person you love.

None of us gets to choose the family we were raised in. But we do get to decide which patterns we carry forward and which ones end with us. In this special 300th episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD sits down with her husband, Rodd Stockwell, MD, for an unusually personal conversation about fatherhood, family, and the choices that shaped their marriage and their children’s lives. Rodd reflects on growing up with a distant father and the intentional decisions he made to become the kind of father he wanted to be, while Alexandra shares what it looked like for both of them to navigate major changes in work, parenting, and partnership. Together, they explore what it really takes to become more emotionally present, why conflict and discomfort are worth moving through, and how the relationship skills developed in a marriage naturally ripple into the way we parent. In this episode, you'll discover: • How Rodd broke patterns from his own childhood to become a deeply present father• Why being physically available isn't the same as being emotionally present• How curiosity became a powerful tool for connecting with their children• Why rescuing your partner can actually interfere with long-term growth• How navigating conflict in your marriage teaches children how to handle conflict themselves• Why breaking generational patterns requires intentional choices, not perfection The greatest gift we give our children isn't a perfect childhood. It's the experience of seeing adults choose connection, work through discomfort, repair after conflict, and create something healthier than what came before.

When you're struggling in your marriage, it's natural to focus on what your partner needs to change. But what happens when you turn your attention inward and begin creating more safety and connection within yourself? In this conversation, Alexandra Stockwell, MD welcomes trauma-informed marriage coach and somatic practitioner Becky Aste, who shares the story of taking her own marriage from separation and the brink of divorce to a thriving relationship. After years of therapy, self-development, and trying to understand their patterns, Becky discovered somatic healing and began working with her nervous system in a completely different way. Together, Alexandra and Becky explore the difference between understanding your relationship patterns and actually changing them, how anxious and avoidant nervous systems can get caught in a painful dance, and why becoming more grounded in yourself can send a completely different signal to your partner. In this episode, you'll discover:  • Why understanding your relationship patterns isn't enough to change them • What “somatic healing” means and how it impacts your nervous system • How tiny shifts in your own body and behavior change the dynamic between you and your partner • Why an anxious or avoidant partner isn't necessarily uncaring or uninterested • How creating safety within yourself is an invitation for greater connection • Why secure attachment is a learnable skill, not something only developed in childhood You don't have to wait for your partner to change before you begin creating a different relationship. Sometimes the most powerful place to start is within yourself, one small moment of safety, presence, and connection at a time. The results are so worthwhile! Connect with Becky Aste: Website: www.idobreakthrough.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/becky_aste

When something goes wrong, we frequently respond with wanting to do something about it. Fix the problem. Find the solution. Make everything better. And while that can be a wonderful quality, sometimes our urge to fix is actually a way of escaping discomfort. In this episode, Alexandra Stockwell, MD explores the surprising connection between feeling stressed and our tendency to fix. She explains how fight, flight, and freeze can evolve into “fix” in adulthood, particularly for capable, ambitious people who have learned to feel safe by solving problems and keeping everything under control. Alexandra offers practical ways to recognize when you're fixing from a place of stress versus offering solutions from a place of calm, spaciousness, and choice. She also shares simple tools to regulate your nervous system in the moment and to build a more resilient baseline over time. In this episode, you'll discover: • Why “fixing” can become a stress response in adulthood• How to tell the difference between empowered problem-solving and compulsive fixing• Why a calm nervous system is essential for intimacy, communication, and passion• Simple ways to pause and regulate yourself when you're triggered• How meditation, movement, pleasure, nature, and other practices strengthen your nervous system• Why knowing you have multiple options is a sign that responding rather than reacting You don't have to stop fixing things. The invitation is to notice why you're fixing them. When you soothe yourself first, you’ll create the space to respond with greater curiosity, creativity, and connection.

This episode isn't really about kissing—it's about the small, repeated moments of connection that create the culture of a marriage.  Small moments of connection can have a surprisingly powerful impact on the quality of a marriage. In this episode of The Intimate Marriage Podcast, Alexandra Stockwell, MD explores the research behind kissing your spouse before leaving for work and reveals why she believes the kiss itself isn't actually what makes the difference. Instead, it's the culture of connection, attention, and affection that makes these small rituals so meaningful. Alexandra shares simple ways to build more moments of intimacy into everyday life, from saying good morning and greeting your spouse when you come home to making time for connection before bed. Because over time, these seemingly small moments become the nourishment that keeps emotional connection, intimacy, and passion alive. Resources Mentioned: Research on kissing and marital connection referenced in the episode Connect With Alexandra Stockwell, MD: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your copy of “Uncompromising Intimacy” by Alexandra Stockwell, MD here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/2ymI3Hl⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download the first chapter of Dr. Alexandra’s bestselling book, “Uncompromising Intimacy,” here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/book⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Cultivate your intimacy skills (without compromise) in Aligned & Hot Marriage, Alexandra’s proven method for smart couples ready to love more fully: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.alignedhotmarriage.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join Alexandra’s email list to stay connected. She shares inspiring stories, her latest insights, and opportunities to learn with her: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/subscribe⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Many people believe they need to completely heal before they can experience deep intimacy, joy, or desire. But what if waiting until you're "fixed" keeps you from the very experiences that help you heal? In this conversation, Alexandra Stockwell, MD welcomes intimacy coach and trauma-informed educator Dr. Kimberly Pendleton for a compassionate discussion about the relationship between trauma, pleasure, and lasting intimacy. Together, they explore why healing isn't a linear journey, how reconnecting with your senses can restore your sense of self, and why flirtation, confidence, and playfulness aren't frivolous—they're powerful expressions of feeling fully alive. Whether you're navigating the effects of past trauma, supporting a loved one through their healing, or simply longing for a more vibrant relationship with yourself and your partner, this episode offers a hopeful perspective on what's possible. In this episode, you'll discover: • Why pleasure can be an essential part of healing rather than something to postpone• How trauma impacts identity, desire, and emotional connection• Practical ways couples can create safer conversations around past experiences• Why flirtation is really about confidence, aliveness, and enjoying yourself in the presence of another• Small, intentional practices that help you reconnect with your body and your joy Healing isn't about becoming someone new. It's about reclaiming the parts of yourself that have always deserved love, pleasure, and connection. Connect with Dr. Kimberly Pendleton: Website: www.kimberlyrosependleton.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/drkimberlyrosependletonFree Pleasure Bundle: https://www.kimberlyrosependleton.com/offers/LeK3pvdA/checkout?coupon_code=BRAVOBRAVOBRAVO

Many of us assume that passion naturally fades with time and that the most exciting years of our sex lives are behind us. But what if that's simply a story we've been told? What if intimacy, pleasure, and desire can continue to grow throughout your marriage? In this episode, Alexandra Stockwell challenges the belief that long-term relationships inevitably become predictable in the bedroom. She explains why satisfying sex isn't about recapturing the excitement of the early years, but about intentionally allowing your intimate relationship to evolve as you evolve. Through practical examples and gentle encouragement, she shares how small acts of curiosity and adventure can reignite connection without sacrificing the trust and safety that make intimacy meaningful. Whether your sex life feels routine, disconnected, or simply ready for something new, this episode will inspire you to see lasting passion in an entirely different way. In this episode, you'll discover: • Why your sex life should continue growing throughout every stage of marriage • How routine quietly diminishes intimacy and erotic energy • The difference between functional sex and deeply connected intimacy • Simple, approachable ways to bring more playfulness and adventure into your relationship • Why meaningful change happens one small, courageous step at a time Your marriage doesn't have to settle into predictability. With curiosity, intention, and a willingness to grow together, your most intimate years may still be waiting for you. Past Episodes on BDSM:

When something feels off in your relationship, it's natural to hope your partner will be the one to change first. But waiting often keeps couples stuck in the same painful patterns. Real transformation begins when someone has the courage to take the first step. In this conversation, Alexandra Stockwell sits down with marriage therapist and host of Sexy Marriage Radio, Dr. Corey Allan, to explore why taking responsibility for your own growth is one of the most powerful gifts you can give your marriage. Together, they unpack the difference between compromising and honoring your individuality, why our differences can strengthen rather than weaken a relationship, and how authenticity creates deeper intimacy. If you've ever found yourself waiting for your spouse to apologize, communicate differently, or meet your needs before making a change yourself, this episode offers a refreshing perspective that can shift the entire dynamic of your relationship. In this episode, you'll discover: • Why "going first" is an act of strength, not surrender • How focusing on yourself changes the entire relationship dynamic • Why your differences don't have to become points of conflict • The hidden cost of waiting for your partner to change first • How authenticity creates more intimacy than people-pleasing ever can Healthy marriages aren't built by keeping score. They're built by two people who are willing to grow, take responsibility, and choose connection, even when it feels vulnerable. Connect with Dr. Corey Allan: Website:⁠ https://marriagefullyalive.com/about/⁠ Books:⁠ https://www.amazon.com/Books-Dr-Corey-Allan⁠ Sexy Marriage Radio:⁠ https://smr.fm/about/⁠ Alexandra and Corey’s previous conversation: https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/108-sexy-marriage-radio-w-dr-corey-pam-allan/

Many couples believe the key to a more satisfying sex life is finding the right technique or creating the perfect mood. But often, the most meaningful intimacy begins with something much simpler: feeling deeply seen, understood, and emotionally connected. In this episode, Alexandra Stockwell responds to a thoughtful listener's question about maintaining intimacy after nearly five decades of marriage. She explores why emotional curiosity, playful connection, and honest conversations about sex create the foundation for a vibrant intimate life, no matter how long you've been together. Whether you've been married for five years or 50, this episode offers practical, compassionate guidance for nurturing the kind of connection that naturally leads to greater closeness, trust, and desire. In this episode, you'll discover: - Why emotional connection is often the missing ingredient in physical intimacy - How asking meaningful questions can deepen your relationship every day - The surprising role that playfulness and novelty have in sustaining desire - Why talking about sex after intimacy can strengthen your connection - How both partners can take responsibility for creating a fulfilling intimate life Lasting intimacy isn't built by finding the perfect technique. It's created one conversation, one playful moment, and one intentional act of connection at a time.

Most of us grow up believing that healthy relationships have very little conflict. But what if the goal isn't avoiding conflict at all? What if the real opportunity lies in how we repair, reconnect, and grow together afterward? In this conversation, Alexandra Stockwell is joined by meditation teachers and authors Devon and Nico Hase to explore the beautiful, messy reality of long-term partnership. Together, they unpack why conflict styles differ, how mindfulness can transform the way couples navigate disagreements, and why embracing our humanity creates deeper intimacy than striving for perfection ever could. Whether you're the first to seek repair, struggle with difficult conversations, or simply want to feel more connected to your partner, this episode offers compassionate wisdom and practical insights for building a relationship that can hold both the mess and the love. In this episode, you'll discover: - The three common conflict styles and how they shape your relationship - Why repair matters more than avoiding disagreements• How mindfulness and deep listening create stronger connection during difficult moments - What Buddhism can teach us about intimacy without expecting perfection - Why healthy relationships make room for both conflict and joy The strongest relationships aren't conflict-free. They're built by two people who are willing to keep showing up, listening deeply, and choosing connection again and again. Connect with Devon & Nico Hase: Website: https://www.devonandnicohase.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/devonandnicohase Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/devonandnicohase

When we think about creating a more intimate marriage, it's easy to focus on communication, conflict, or even sex. But what if one of the most powerful ways to strengthen your relationship is also one of the simplest? In this episode, Alexandra Stockwell explores what she calls our modern-day "fun recession" and why so many couples have unintentionally stopped prioritizing joy together. Drawing from years of coaching couples, as well as her own marriage, she shares why laughter, novelty, and play aren't luxuries. They're essential ingredients for emotional closeness, trust, and lasting passion. Whether your relationship feels busy, predictable, or simply overdue for more lighthearted moments, this episode offers a heartfelt invitation to reconnect through shared experiences that bring you both alive. In this episode, you'll discover: • Why fun is a powerful foundation for intimacy• How novelty and shared experiences strengthen emotional and physical connection• Simple ways to bring more laughter, play, and delight into everyday married life• Why creating joy together makes navigating life's challenges easier When you choose fun, you're not avoiding the deeper work of marriage. You're creating the conditions that make deeper connection possible.