Advertise on podcast: Steve and Jason Are Having a Real Fun Time

Steve agreed to celebrate 21 years of wedding bliss by allowing people to touch him all over. I'm sure his wife enjoyed her part of the couples massage in a separate location! You should get a pedicure whenever you get the chance. You never know how long that shard of glass has been bothering you! Rookie spa technicians can get the wrong person killed. Or the right person! Perverts need to be pampered, too. Just hope you don't have to sit next to one on a cruise!

Steve has passed on the "get asked by a girl to the school dance in a cute, punny way" duties to his son and he seems to be surpassing him in every regard. It's not emasculating at all! Steve turns a blind eye to the girls and a goat on his porch. It must be fall dance season again! Steve (and Steve alone) is proud of his son for attracting the attention of the hottest girl at their church. He wants things for him that he never had! Goats for entertainment, goats for dowries, it's all on the table when wooing is the name of the game! Jason shot his shot from a shotgun, putting out multiple hand-drawn Valentines to his previous classmates, hoping to land at least one date. He was alone that Valentine's Day, if you're not following along! Jason won't venture out onto the hypothetical, hypocritical plank that Steve is standing on, but they both know that the strained metaphor is putting both their butts on the line!

Jason's vacation was nearly ruined by power outages. When power goes out, modern society can't handle it! Fighting past powered down electronics panels and deactivated electric fences (wait, what?), Jason and his cohorts took in the sights and smells of the safari park. You really can't tell what animal they're coming from, they all smell equally horrid! Unlike the current U.S. government, we don't condone bestiality... but there are some amazing specimens you just have to swipe right on. 'Roos are cool and Jason is cool, so they're all cool... right? The whole thing felt very inappropriately risky! Didn't Get Kicked, Didn't Get Cucked at the Safari Park! It's gold, Jerry! GOLD!

Jason believes that when Steve's beard is gone... it's never truly gone. It's hirsute hijinks! Jason gave AI a chance and tried to add a simple element to an existing drawing and it failed in shocking, truly terrifying ways. Don't try this at home! Steve thinks Jason needs to try roleplaying with the AI and make it think this next task could be its last. He'd rather not! AI apparently isn't worth it until you've taken an uncomfortable number of steps towards making it desirable to you. Good luck, no thank you! Stop asking one AI how to communicate with another AI. It's a waste in more ways that one!

Steve was just waiting for a public bathroom when in walked a lady. Hello, lady! You've just walked into a whole new world you do not want to comprehend! No good deed goes unpunished in the bathroom line, like enjoying a week's worth of buffets and being called out for your gestating food baby! Narc bathroom is best bathroom! Steve's wife is now either terrified to use any public bathroom or she has been sitting beside him during this podcast's recording. One is true, the other is almost certainly false!

Steve took in some stand-up recently and found his daughter's taste in improv rap to be spot on! She's also a sucker for a decent impersonation, as she should be. Also, fart jokes, but who isn't? Jason talks about his love for George Carlin, both the political criticism and the fart jokes. He also acknowledges some scandals with his favorites. It's hard to like anyone these days without feeling bad or ashamed! When attempting weird physical feats that aren't sex things, you must record it so everyone knows the death wasn't the result of a weird sex thing. Technology doesn't come with a handbook! Jason helped his daughter develop an impersonation of her new teacher and he's sure the teacher would appreciate it if/when he hears it! Steve tries to defend his thoughts and instantly feels bad about it. As well he should!

Steve and his family took a Lorenzo-Lamas-esque sojourn across Mexican highways and he's never felt more alive. If only he had hair to really enjoy it! Steve found his spirit animal on a horse-riding adventure where he got saddled with the mule that experiences bladder issues. Truly a match made in heaven! Apparently, if you can crash a car, you can crash a horse. Hope you got the insurance!

Jason saw a wrestling show and received his first COVID vaccine in the same small collegiate sports venue. Can't say that everyday! Jason is such a mark for wrestling, he would love to watch Ric Flair and Jake Roberts slowly circle each other for 20 minutes in a high school gymnasium or something. That wouldn't be good for anyone involved! It's still pretty cool to see CM Punk, especially when he's in the main event of a card full of rookies and trainees. Surely he elevated someone that night! CONFIRMED: It's still really cool to see a dude jump really high. He truly is superhuman! Steve is stoked to get the chance to see a hardcore midget (their word, not ours) wrestling show. They go unusually hard!

If you're in a life-threatening situation that eventually turns out ok, shoot a quick text to Steve so he knows and can confirm it as such. It's a real load off of his mind! Jason actually wants random texts of parts of your bodies, but no, not THAT one. You know the one! Steve will help you bury just about anything or anyone, no questions asked, sight unseen. Use that as needed! The guys share the random texts they receive from one another. Send your number if you want to get in on the fun! And Jason has never actually even been to Boston, Google!

Steve's son thinks it's weird to fly with bags of rocks and Steve tried to gaslight him into thinking it's a mature rite of passage! Youth are so easily fooled! Jason lets his kids know some of his weirdness, but he's saving the good stuff for his deathbed! They'll be shocked! Like beating up someone your first day in prison, Steve thinks being the first person to throw out wild, baseless accusations is the best way to avoid accountability! Let he who is without sin cast the first dildo! And what is the Chinese leprechaun? Steve accidentally coins the name "mogwai" to find out! I bet he could make some money off of that!

Steve loves watching his kids bloom and grow, but its their hatred for things like road construction that he really cherishes! Jason gets to make jokes about government inadequacies because his father-in-law worked for them! The guys implore you not to belittle those who are Wal-Mart happy; they love their lives and God bless them for it! If you want a sport to follow, you might consider the geeky mechanical violence of BATTLEBOTS! Take a kid (preferably your own or a relative!) to a sporting event to change their life FOREVER! Jason knows better than to bring up touchy stuff with his son, which includes just about anything Steve talks about!

Steve lives for other people's cheap garbage! What he calls "thrift", you and I might say is "useless" and "crap". It's all in the eye of the beholder! Steve's teenage son wants to save him from committing fashion crimes, but is there really anything that bad about a soda brand on a T-shirt? With all the food-related ornaments adorning the Sigler family tree, Jason is shocked and chagrined that his family hasn't yet gotten him a Mountain Dew... anything! Jason likes graphic T-shirts because they serve as icebreakers with strangers or acquaintances when he otherwise doesn't want to say a word! When you deal in thrift, you also have to deal in varying amounts of animal hair!

Steve operates on the assumption that if you don't fight him, he wins! And he's undefeated! Steve's daughter accidentally became a professional artist! Only forced capitalistic greed could crush it so quickly! Jason took advantage of the streaming tools built-in to modern game systems and found a small audience... then retired that same night! Steve wants to protect his son, but it's tough since he's so much bigger than he is!

Steve reveals that he won't sing songs from "girl movies." Sounds like he has a lot to unpack with his therapist! (And yes, this podcast is his therapist, sorry.) Not for nothing, but Jason is right that the size of burritos has dangerously ballooned in the past two decades. And they make for terrible leftovers! Thank you, butterscotch pines, for helping Steve convince his impressionable nieces and nephews to sniff trees.... everywhere! Jason's wife was gone and he didn't want to call his mommy, so he tried supervising things himself. Who knows how that went but the job is at least done! Steve's wife appreciates his virility and strength based on jobs he told her he did! And that's our story!

Jason appreciates anyone keeping him awake on the road after his late-night YouTube-a-thons! Steve just wants everyone to be awake for the drowsy crash! Jason fought bad wifi with the tried-and-true "I'm holding my phone up higher and I'm outside so the cell signal is better, right?" method of connecting to the Internet! It was possibly a tiny bit better! Only while staying in a modern hotel could you be forced to use a lamp as an extension cord! Myrtle Beach! Pigeon Forge! Branson! They're all the same, so we hope you like that family slop! While on vacation, do you need to stop in for some candy? How about tin signs? Books? Christian fiction? How about moon pie? Moon pie?!? MOON PIE?!?