Advertise on podcast: Your Extraordinary Life & Dating After Divorce

Every time Dr. Jennie Young used Bumble or Hinge, the same thing happened: high hopes on day one, horror by day two. Then she remembered what she does for a living. Dr. Jennie is a rhetoric professor. She spent years doing critical discourse analysis on high school disciplinary handbooks — coding for toxic, gendered language patterns hidden inside official policies. One day, she turned that same academic lens on men's dating profiles. What she found? Thirty-three distinct rhetorical patterns. The Blue Ribbon for Bare Minimum. The Cuddle Bears. The Test-and-Apologize. Patterns that reveal — before the first date — exactly what kind of man you're dealing with. Over 260,000 women are now using her Burned Haystack Dating Method to stop calculating and start recognizing. In this episode, Dr. Jennie and I get into all of it — the patterns, the political landscape of dating in 2026, why women are not too picky, and what a genuinely good profile actually looks like. She also shares how she used her own method to find her partner. You've already seen these profile patterns. This episode will help you interpret them. If you want to build your own dating strategy from your core values — not someone else's checklist — book a relationship strategy session with me: 👉 sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment

In this episode, I break down exactly how the halo effect shows up in dating, in difficult marriages, and in divorce — and why smart, high-achieving women fall for it just as hard as anyone else. (Maybe harder. Because we're good at building convincing stories.) A man can pay for every dinner from the first date to the wedding — and still refuse to share anything that matters once you're married. A partner can be a good provider, a good father, and a terrible spouse all at once. These things live together. Your brain doesn't want to hold that complexity. I'm going to help you do it anyway. I also talk about the flip side — the horn effect — where one weird moment makes you write off someone who might deserve more time. The goal for evaluating a relationship is clarity, not suspicion. Whether you're dating, inside a hard marriage, or in the middle of a divorce — the most important thing you can do right now is learn to see people as they are, not as you need them to be. If this episode lands close to home and you want support, book a complimentary relationship strategy session with Sade. Book a strategy session ↗

In this episode of Your Extraordinary Life and Dating After Divorce Podcast, I pull back the curtain on one of the most destructive patterns I see in women who are smart, capable, and completely worn out. I share stories from my own first marriage — including the season I drove to sales calls while six months pregnant so my ex-husband could build a business he never built. I was functioning as his parent, not his partner. This pattern doesn't disappear after divorce. It follows you into dating. It shows up when you calculate a man's schedule and decide he deserves grace for being unavailable — before he's even taken you on a date. You owe him nothing. Your job is to decide whether he fits your life, not manage the reasons he can't show up for it. Over-responsibility creates under-responsibility — in your partner and in yourself. While you pour your energy into someone else's growth, your finances, your career, your relationships with your kids, your health — all of it sits on pause. That pause becomes years. Years become your life. You deserve better than a life built around someone else's potential. Ready to break this pattern for good? Schedule a relationship strategy session with Sade at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment.

This episode is for the woman who has ever looked back and said, "I knew it. Why didn't I trust myself?" Sade unpacks why so many women dismiss their own instincts and how that dismissal — not the red flags themselves — leaves them most exposed. Memorizing red flags doesn't protect you. Situational awareness does. When you build that skill, no disguise fools you. Your nervous system collects data. Fear, discomfort, that "off" feeling — those are not signs you are dramatic or paranoid. They are signals. The problem is that women spend decades in training to ignore those signals, and then wonder why they feel anxious, confused, and stuck. Sade also names the two fears that keep women frozen: the fear of being wrong and the fear of being right. Both traps lead to the same outcome — doing nothing while things get worse. The work is the same whether you're dating, married, or navigating divorce. Discernment. Self-leadership. Knowing what a safe relationship looks and feels like. Building your own life and emotional resources. You didn't choose the conditioning that trained you to doubt yourself. But you can choose differently now. Ready to build your situational awareness with real support? Schedule a free consultation with Sade at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment

You pride yourself on reading people. You pick up on moods, scan facial expressions, and adjust to keep the peace. But then your partner files for divorce, and you never saw it coming. A close friend betrays you, and it hits you like a truck. A man you're dating turns out to be nothing like you imagined. Sound familiar? In this episode, Sade breaks down why smart, capable women keep getting blindsided in relationships — and it has nothing to do with intelligence. She shares three psychology concepts that explain the pattern: theory of mind, the illusion of transparency, and naive realism. These ideas reveal how we project our own values onto others, assume people can see what we never said out loud, and convince ourselves that no one would do what we would never do. Sade gets personal about her own blindside moments — from her ex filing for divorce after seventeen years of a toxic marriage to his fight for full custody despite zero involvement in parenting. She explains how women trained to scan for danger often read one narrow signal while missing the full picture. The result? Minimization. You shrink the red flags, ignore the patterns, and push down what your gut screams at you — because facing it means doing something about it. This episode gives you permission to stop blaming yourself and start building the skill of seeing what's real. Your conditioning created these patterns. Conscious, safe work can unwind them. Ready to stop getting blindsided and start trusting what you know? Schedule your free consultation call with Sade at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment.

What if the reason you keep ending up in draining relationships has nothing to do with what's wrong with you — and everything to do with how your brain operates? In this episode, I break down discernment — the skill that transforms every relationship in your life, from your marriage to your friendships to how you co-parent with your ex. Here's the truth: your brain runs on autopilot. It creates shortcuts for everything — including the people closest to you. And when those shortcuts go unchecked, you stop seeing people for who they are. You start operating from a script that was written for you long before you were born. It goes deeper than biology. From childhood, women get trained to override their own reality. "He's pulling your hair because he likes you." Sound familiar? That messaging doesn't stop in grade school. It follows you into your marriage, your dating life, and your friendships. It teaches you to reframe harm as love and to silence your own experience. I share my own story of trying to wake up from autopilot during my first marriage — and the painful responses I received when I started asking real questions. Breaking free from the script is messy. But staying plugged in has a cost too. Discernment means slowing down, removing the filters, and backing yourself up on your own experience. No shame. No self-blame. Just clarity. If something in your life feels off — if what you're giving never matches what you're getting back — this episode is your invitation to start asking real questions. Ready to get off autopilot in your relationships? Schedule a coaching consultation with me at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment.

You tell yourself it won't happen. You avoid the word "divorce" like saying it out loud will make it real. You wait. You hope. You pray things shift. Meanwhile, assets move. Attorneys get hired — just not by you. And when it hits, you're blindsided. That was my story. I lost assets, lost leverage, and watched my divorce drag on because I refused to face what was happening. I thought I could handle it. I thought we'd figure it out. I was wrong. If you are in a difficult, abusive, or high-conflict marriage — this episode is for you. Not every divorce requires deep planning. But if your spouse is less than trustworthy, if coercive control or financial manipulation exists, if children and significant assets are involved — you cannot afford to leave your future up to chance. Here's what I walk you through in this episode: the three steps you need to take right now — decide, plan, and act. I share what happened when I didn't plan, what happened when a client did, and why the women who protect themselves aren't bitter — they're grown. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. Thinking you're the exception doesn't make you one. Eyes wide open, information in hand, and a solid plan — that's what makes you the exception. No one is coming to save you. But you can save yourself. Ready to create a plan for your next chapter? Schedule a consultation call with Sade at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment.

Divorce doesn't just break your heart — it can shatter your mental health in ways you never saw coming. You tell yourself you'll feel better once the papers are filed, once he moves out, once the court date passes. But the truth is, healing doesn't work on a timeline. Grief hits you in the strangest moments — standing in an unfamiliar grocery store, driving 40 minutes to your kids' activities, watching your whole routine dissolve. The losses can be huge. You lose the relationship, the home, the neighborhood, the friend group, the church. Your kids ask questions you can't answer. Your attorney bills you for every email. Your ex hires a shark who treats you like a criminal. It all crashes down at once. If you're a woman with a vision, your instinct is to power through. You've handled everything else — why not this? But divorce can crack open old wounds you thought you buried. It can trigger childhood trauma, collapse your nervous system, and push you into survival mode — especially when you're also juggling midlife, hormonal shifts, teenagers, or aging parents. This is not the time to be superwoman. This is the time to build your support team. Find a therapist who champions you. Hire a coach who's walked this road. Ditch anyone who plays devil's advocate with your pain. Seeing your real needs during this time can make all the difference. Ready to stop surviving and start building your extraordinary life? Schedule a dating consultation call with Sade at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment.

In this podcast episode, I discuss mistakes and mindset strategies for divorcing a person with narcissistic tendencies. Some people say the word narcissist is overused. I disagree. And I love that those people have the privilege of never having experienced a narcissist in an intimate setting. When women use this word, we know what we mean. We're describing an experience that can't be captured in one simple term—the gaslighting, the silent treatment, the crazy-making moments that leave you questioning your own reality. If you're divorcing someone with narcissistic tendencies, your divorce will look different from everyone else's. And here's what makes it harder: you've been trained to doubt yourself. You've learned to wait for permission. You've been conditioned to seek validation from people who may never understand what you've lived through. I remember documenting my marriage for 48 days straight—writing down what happened each day so I could see the patterns in black and white. When I showed those notes to my mentor, she told me I was "being negative" and walked out of my house. She never spoke to me again. I learned that nobody was coming to save me. I had to own my own reality. If you're divorcing a narcissist, base your strategy on the worst moments, not the honeymoon phases. Go in prepared—with the right attorney, the right support team, and the right information. Don't bring a pen knife to a gunfight. Want help creating your divorce strategy? Schedule a consultation with Sade at sadecurry.com/info

In this episode, I break down something I've coached women through but hesitated to share—quiet quitting your marriage. Quiet quitting works by releasing the fairy tale "Plan A" marriage that was never going to exist and designing a Plan B life that brings you peace. Your partner may have never had the capacity for the dream marriage you thought you were going to have. Until you grieve that reality, it's impossible to build what's available. you stay trapped—waiting, begging, and burning yourself out for something that will never come. In this episode we walk you through the mental shifts that breaks this cycle.  You'll learn how to Accept that marriage is a construct—one you can redesign without anyone's permission. This approach isn't for everyone. If abuse exists in any form, this isn't your path. But if you're exhausted from forcing a partnership that doesn't function, you have more options than you realize. The same healing work waits whether you stay or go. The question is: what do you want to build? Ready to explore your options? Book your consultation call at sadecurry.com/schedule-appointment

Thinking about divorce? The way you approach telling your spouse can determine your safety, your financial future, and your children's wellbeing. This isn't about whether you should leave—it's about understanding what happens when you do. Most women walk into this conversation with the same mindset that kept them stuck in the relationship. You've minimized problems for years. You've told yourself "I can handle this" or "It's not that bad." That thinking protects you while you're staying. It harms you when you're leaving. Here's the truth: You cannot approach a difficult spouse with an "everything will work out" mentality. You cannot show all your cards to someone who hides theirs. You cannot expect peaceful co-parenting from someone who disregards your wellbeing. The solution? Recalibrate before you speak. First, understand your unique situation. Know where the money sits. Know the risks. Know what leaving the home means in your state. Second, make a plan. For some women, this means a safety plan. For others, it means gathering financial documents, consulting an attorney, or having support in place. One client took a month to prepare—and that preparation protected her and her children. Third, build emotional resilience. Prepare for what might happen so you don't get blindsided. Preparing doesn't mean you have to file. It means you refuse to ignore the issue. Ready to create your plan? Schedule a dating consultation call with Sade at sadecurry.com/info

You know that feeling when you say "I can't believe this is happening"? That phrase reveals something important: you might be stuck in denial. Divorce shatters your reality. It forces you to question your past, present, and future all at once. Your brain protects you by avoiding these overwhelming truths. But denial keeps you vulnerable. While you refuse to engage, reality moves forward—often against your interests. Maybe you discovered infidelity. Maybe your spouse blindsided you with divorce papers. Maybe you chose to leave but still find yourself shocked by what happens next. The confusion stems from the cycle of drama: tension builds, an incident explodes, apologies follow, calm returns—then it starts again. This cycle traps you in a fog where you forget why things felt so bad. Here's what changed everything for me: I grabbed a notebook and documented my daily experiences for 48 days. Not for court. Not to prove anything to anyone. Just to own my reality. Those pages helped me see the patterns I couldn't recognize in the moment. Documentation creates consciousness. Consciousness creates choice. Choice creates freedom. Stop comparing the worst moments of your relationship to the best moments of that same relationship. That comparison keeps you trapped. You deserve to know what healthy looks like. Your relationship with yourself is the longest one you'll ever have. Back yourself up. Trust yourself. Own your experience. Ready to move forward? Schedule a dating consultation call with Sade at sadecurry.com/info and start building the life you deserve.

You might have noticed something different—we changed our name. Welcome to Your Extraordinary Life and Dating After Divorce. Same host, expanded mission. Here's what happened: I spent years focused on dating after divorce. But the truth? Half my clients work with me on other parts of the divorce journey—thinking about divorce, surviving the process, healing afterward. And I realized I was hiding these stories and frameworks from you. So we're expanding. January brings you divorce-focused episodes. Then we return to a mix of dating and divorce content throughout the year. You choose what serves you. My approach stays the same whether we tackle dating or divorce: I help you cut through the noise. The childhood programming. The societal expectations. The voices that drown out what you want. Because here's what I know: You can do whatever you choose. The hard part? Figuring out what you want when everyone else tells you what you should want. I started as a divorce coach in 2016. I pieced together my own healing journey when nothing existed for divorced women. That experience shapes how I work with women today—helping them advocate for themselves without guilt, build lives that fit them, and make decisions from clarity instead of fear. This year brings more content, more truth, more tools. Ready to create your extraordinary life? Schedule a dating consultation call with Sade at sadecurry.com/info

You think getting divorced at 23 is too young to learn anything valuable? Think again. Sade Mickelson, life coach and Chinese medicine expert, shares her story of marrying an Iranian restaurant owner who was arrested for federal drug charges while she was still in college. Instead of walking away, she doubled down—visiting him in prison, planning to move to Iran, and proving her capability at every turn. The wake-up call came on a broken Ferris wheel in Isfahan. Sae realized she was wishing her entire life away, rushing to reach the end just to prove she picked the right person. She discovered her best friend was having an affair with her husband. But the real revelation came when she told him: "I made you up." This episode explores how women use their professional strengths—resilience, capability, problem-solving—to stay trapped in relationships that drain them. Sade's story reveals the difference between proving your worth and protecting your peace. She learned that truth feels like freedom, even when it hurts. Her journey from codependence to self-befriending offers wisdom for any woman rebuilding after divorce. The answer is not figuring everything out tonight. Ready to stop proving yourself and start protecting your peace? Schedule a consultation call with Sade Curry at https://sadecurry.com/info.

You know all about red flags and what men want. That information fills every dating coach's feed. But here's what nobody talks about: where your attention goes during your dating journey. Your attention determines everything. When you focus on the 99% of guys who aren't right for you, your mental energy flows there instead of toward your vision. When you obsess over your ex's new girlfriend or rehearse angry texts, you drain the energy you need to create what you want. Think about it like this: imagine a room filled with puppies and kittens—everything you love. But a rattlesnake sits in the corner. You won't enjoy a single puppy because your eye stays locked on that snake. That's how your brain works with dating. One wrong thing captures all your focus while opportunities pass you by. Women tell me they do everything right, yet feel stuck. I always find their attention lives somewhere else—on past hurt, on people's opinions, on what's not working. Your surface actions don't matter when your mind swirls with fear and frustration underneath. This year, learn to direct your attention consciously. Stop the exhausting mental loops. Create space for the love life you want. Ready to redirect your attention and momentum in 2026? Schedule a 90-minute Life Momentum Planning Session at sadecurry.com/info. Limited spots available before the holidays.