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What happens when a mother knows something is wrong, desperately seeks help, and is repeatedly told she’s fine? In this powerful and deeply moving episode, I sit down with Aaisha Alvi, author of A Mom Like That: A Memoir of Postpartum Psychosis, to talk about her experience with postpartum psychosis, the devastating impact of being dismissed by medical professionals, and the long road toward getting the care she needed. Aaisha shares what it was like to experience frightening changes in her thoughts and perceptions after childbirth, while struggling to understand what was happening to her. Even as she reached out for help, her symptoms were repeatedly misunderstood. It wasn’t until she connected with a perinatal psychiatrist that she received the specialized care and understanding she needed. Together, we explore the difference between intrusive thoughts and psychosis, the stigma surrounding maternal mental illness, and the harmful assumption that a mother experiencing a psychiatric crisis must be a danger to her child; or a bad mother. They also discuss how cultural expectations, shame, and fear can make it even harder for parents to speak openly about what they are experiencing. This conversation is a reminder that mothers experiencing serious mental health challenges deserve compassion, appropriate treatment, and the chance to be heard without judgment. By sharing her story, Ayesha hopes to help other parents recognize when something is wrong, seek support, and understand that a psychiatric crisis does not define who they are as a parent. Topics covered in this episode: The difference between intrusive thoughts and psychotic symptomsWhat can happen when healthcare providers dismiss or misunderstand a mother’s concernsThe importance of specialized perinatal mental health careHow stigma and the fear of being labeled a “bad mother” can prevent parents from seeking helpThe role that culture, religion, and family expectations can play in how mental illness is understoodWhy mothers experiencing psychiatric crises need support rather than shameHow sharing personal stories can challenge misconceptions and create space for more compassionate care About the guest: Aaisha Alvi is the author of A Mom Like That: A Memoir of Postpartum Psychosis. Through her personal story and advocacy, she works to bring greater awareness to postpartum psychosis and challenge the stigma surrounding maternal mental health. Connect with me: Want to learn more? You can find me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

What if being apart from your child doesn’t mean you’re any less connected? In this episode, I sit down with actress, author, content creator, and co-host of The Mother Daze podcast, Sarah Wright Olsen, to explore one of the hardest parts of parenting: separation. Sarah is the author of the beautiful picture book When I Am Not With You, inspired by a simple question she and her children have shared for years: “When I am not with you, where am I?” The answer? “In my heart. In my head.” Together, we explore what attachment really looks like when we aren't physically together and why being a securely attached parent doesn't mean being constantly available. For post-traumatic parents, separation can bring up enormous amounts of fear and guilt. If you grew up with experiences of abandonment, inconsistency, or loss, saying goodbye to your own child can feel much bigger than the moment itself. This episode is a must-listen if you've ever thought: “Am I hurting my child by being away from them?” “How can I stay connected to my child when I can't always be there?” “What if my own childhood makes separation harder for me?” Topics covered in this episode: Why attachment doesn't require constant physical presenceThe importance of mental presence and helping children carry us with themCreating goodbye rituals that help children feel secureWhy separation can actually be part of healthy attachmentParenting through daycare, work, school, and other separationsThe guilt many working parents experienceWhy we don't need to “awfulize” separation or daycare About the Guest: Sarah Wright Olsen is an actress, author, content creator, entrepreneur, mom, and co-host of The Mother Daze podcast. She is the author of When I Am Not With You, a picture book inspired by her family's own experiences with separation, connection, and the many goodbyes that happened throughout childhood. Sarah's work is deeply informed by her own experiences as a mother, including postpartum anxiety, working motherhood, and her desire to build community and share the things she has learned along the way. Connect with Sarah: Instagram: @swrightolsen Book: When I Am Not With You Podcast: The Mother Daze with Sarah Wright Olsen and Teresa Palmer Connect with me: Want to learn more? You can find me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

Why do so many couples feel like they’re talking but not actually understanding each other? In this episode, I sit down with therapist, author, and podcast host Eli Weinstein, LCSW (aka The Dude Therapist) to talk about the missing pieces in modern relationships; especially when it comes to emotional communication and understanding. Eli shares what inspired his new book From I Do to We Do, including his own struggles with writing, ADHD, and the deeper motivation behind wanting to bring a stronger male voice into the relationship space. Because the truth is that many men were never taught how to express emotions, and many partners are left feeling confused, disconnected, or alone because of it. Together, we explore how couples can move beyond surface-level communication and start truly understanding each other’s internal worlds. We also talk about why analogies, stories, and even movies (yes, Inside Out 2 makes an appearance) can sometimes explain emotions better than words ever could. If you’ve ever felt like: “Why don’t they get it?”“Why is this so hard to explain?” This episode will help you make sense of it, and give you a new way forward. Topics covered in this episode: Why emotional communication feels so difficult in relationshipsThe lack of male representation in emotional and relationship conversationsHow ADHD and overwhelm can impact communication and expressionWhy traditional advice like “just communicate” often falls flatThe power of storytelling, metaphors, and media in understanding emotionsThe difference between hearing your partner and truly getting them About the Guest: Eli Weinstein, LCSW is a therapist, speaker, and podcast host focused on relationships, emotional health, and bringing a relatable, male perspective into the mental health space. He is the author of From I Do to We Do, a practical and engaging guide to building stronger, more connected relationships. To learn more about Eli, visit his website here. Connect with me: Want to learn more? Connect with me! You can find me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

What happens when the life you imagined for your child suddenly changes? In this deeply moving episode, I speak with author and advocate Jodi Michele Cutler to explore her journey into post-traumatic parenting after her son was diagnosed with profound hearing loss at just 11 months old. What began as a dream, moving to Italy with her newborn and starting a new chapter, quickly shifted into a moment that would change everything. Jodi shares the emotional impact of receiving her son’s diagnosis in a foreign country, navigating language barriers, and processing the shock, grief, and uncertainty that followed. Together, we explore what it means to parent through the unexpected, and how even the most overwhelming experiences can become pathways to connection, advocacy, and growth. Topics covered in this episode: What it feels like to receive a life-changing diagnosis as a parentParenting in a foreign country during a crisisHow trauma shows up in parenting experiencesThe process of adapting to a new reality as a familyAdvocacy for deaf and hard-of-hearing childrenHow identity shifts for both parent and child after diagnosis About the Guest: Jodi Michele Cutler is the author of Sofa Bed Island and Rally Cap, which has been adapted into a feature film. She is also an advocate for parents of deaf and hard-of-hearing children, drawing from her own lived experience raising a child with profound hearing loss. Through her work, Jodi shares stories that highlight resilience, family, and the power of navigating life’s unexpected turns. To connect with Jodi, you can visit her website here. Connect with me: Want to learn more? Connect with me! You can find me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

What if the way your family functions wasn’t something you had to figure out as you go… but something you could actually design? In this episode, I sit down with Nancy Shapiro Rapport, co-founder of Our Family Culture, to explore what it really means to parent with intention and how to create a family culture that reflects your deepest values. Because the truth is, every family has a culture but most of us are living in one by default, not by design. For post-traumatic parents, this can feel especially overwhelming. If you didn’t grow up with a clear model of healthy family life, how are you supposed to build one for your own children? Nancy shares how her decades of experience as a school counselor (and her work with thousands of families) led her to one powerful realization: Children don’t just grow up in a home. They grow up inside a culture. Together, we break down how to define your values, align with your parenting partner, and translate abstract ideals into everyday behaviors your children can actually live and learn. Topics covered in this episode: What “family culture” actually means (and why every family already has one)How your family becomes your child’s “emotional home base”The challenge of aligning values with a parenting partnerWhy you can’t prioritize every value at once (and how to choose what matters most)How unresolved experiences from your own childhood shape your parenting instinctsHow small, consistent actions shape long-term identity and resilience About the Guest: Nancy Shapiro Rapport is a former middle school counselor with over three decades of experience working with children and families. She is the co-founder of Our Family Culture, an app and framework designed to help parents intentionally build family values and translate them into everyday practices. Her work focuses on helping families move from reactive parenting to thoughtful, values-driven connection. To learn more about Nancy and her work, you can visit her website here. Connect with me: Want to learn more? Connect with me! You can find me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

What is the cost of families and specifically children growing up online? In this conversation, I speak with journalist and author Fortesa Latifi, M.A. to talk about the rise of momfluencers and kidfluencers, and why this topic resonates so deeply with post-traumatic parents. What used to be limited to a small group of highly visible families (i.e. reality TV households) has now expanded into thousands of children growing up online, their lives documented and shared in real time.We explore what it means to be raised in the digital spotlight, how social media has shifted the boundaries between public and private childhood, and why this issue is more complex than it first appears. While many of us instinctively react with concern, this conversation invites a more nuanced perspective. In our conversation we discuss not just the risks, but also the realities and pressures families face in today’s online world. Topics covered in this episode: The rapid rise of momfluencers and kidfluencersHow growing up online differs from past generations of “famous families”The shift from structured media (TV) to constant, personal content creationWhy this topic resonates so strongly with cycle-breaking and post-traumatic parentsThe tension between exploitation vs. opportunityWhy nuance matters when discussing parents who share their children onlineThe role of audience curiosity and internet culture in fueling this trendWhat it might feel like for children to grow up with their lives publicly documented About the Guest: Fortesa Latifi, M.A. is a journalist who has extensively covered internet culture, including the world of momfluencers and kidfluencers. She is the author of Like, Follow, Subscribe, a book that explores what it means for families, and especially children, to grow up online in an era of constant visibility. To learn more and connect with Fortesa, you can visit her website here! Connect with me: Want to learn more? Connect with me! You can find me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

What if the hardest parts of your parenting journey are actually pointing you toward your greatest growth? In this deeply honest and powerful conversation, I sit down with psychologist and parenting educator Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, to explore how trauma, loss, and early life experiences shape the way we show up as parents. Anna shares her personal story of losing her mother at a young age and how that profound loss resurfaced when she became a parent herself, bringing unexpected grief, loneliness, and emotional challenges. Together, we unpack the reality of early parenthood: the isolation, the overwhelm, and the way parenting can activate “silent volcanoes” of past trauma. You’ll walk away with a powerful reframe: parenting isn’t just raising a child, it’s a transformative process that reveals both your deepest wounds and your greatest capacity for healing. Topics covered in this episode: The hidden loneliness and isolation of early motherhoodHow parenting acts as a stress test for unresolved traumaThe impact of early parental loss on identity and parenting“Trauma superpowers” and the concept of post-traumatic growthThe fine line between growth and toxic positivityHypervigilance vs. presence: two sides of trauma awarenessHow gratitude and perspective can emerge from hardshipThe importance of creating the support you didn’t receive About the Guest: Anna Seewald is an internationally recognized psychologist, parenting educator, keynote speaker, and host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast. With over 25 years of experience, she is passionate about helping parents heal their own trauma so they can raise emotionally healthy children. Her mission is to end violence against children by transforming the way we approach parenting. To learn more, visit authenticparenting.com Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

What happens when food, feeding, and our kids’ bodies trauma shows up in ways we don’t always expect? In this deeply honest and compassionate conversation, I speak with eating disorder specialist Ali Spotts-De Lazzer to unpack what’s really going on beneath eating struggles for both kids and parents. Together, we explore why feeding your child can feel so overwhelming, how fear and control get tangled up in “healthy” choices, and why even the most well-intentioned parenting strategies can sometimes backfire. Ali brings both her clinical expertise and lived experience to this conversation, offering a grounded, non-shaming perspective that every parent needs to hear. Topics covered in this episode: The connection between safety, control, and eating disordersHow “healthy eating” can quietly turn into rigidity and fearWhat orthorexia is and why it’s so hard to spotThe difference between ARFID, anxiety, and eating disordersWhy some kids are more vulnerable and why it’s not your faultHow diet culture and weight bias impact parenting decisionsThe biological reality of restriction and binge cyclesWhy parents often blame themselves and what’s actually happening insteadHow self-acceptance (not perfection) is the key to change About the Guest: Ali Spotts-De Lazzer is a licensed therapist, eating disorder specialist, and passionate advocate for helping families navigate the complex world of food, body image, and healing. With nearly 20 years of experience, she brings both deep clinical knowledge and lived understanding to her work with individuals and caregivers. Ali leads parent support groups and is the author of MeaningFULL, with a new book on supporting families through eating disorders coming soon. Her work centers on compassion, self-acceptance, and helping people truly live their full story. To learn more visit liveyourfullstory.com. Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

What if your child’s “behavior problem” isn’t a behavior problem at all? In this deeply practical and paradigm-shifting conversation, I sit down with clinical psychologist Dr. Ross Greene, originator of the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach, to rethink everything we’ve been taught about parenting, discipline, and so-called “challenging behavior.” Dr. Greene, author of The Explosive Child and Lost at School, shares how years of working with children and families led him to one central realization: kids don’t fail to meet expectations because they “won’t," they struggle because they “can’t yet.” Together, we explore why traditional tools like sticker charts, timeouts, punishments, and “tough love” often miss the real issue entirely; and how they can damage trust and connection in the process. Instead, Dr. Greene offers a radically different approach: one that prioritizes collaboration, curiosity, and solving the real problems behind behavior rather than reacting to the behavior itself. Topics covered in this episode: The hidden flaw in behavior-based discipline systems (timeouts, sticker charts, rewards)Why behavior is often a signal, not the problem itselfHow trauma shapes both kids’ behavior and parents’ reactionsWhy “proactive” problem solving reduces conflict and overwhelmWhat to do when kids shut down, escalate, or refuse to talk About the Guest: Dr. Ross Greene is a clinical psychologist and the originator of Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS), an evidence-based approach to understanding and supporting children with behavioral challenges. He is the author of several influential books, including The Explosive Child, Lost at School, and Lost and Found, as well as his recently published book The Kids Who Aren’t Okay: The Urgent Case for Re-Imagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools. To learn more about Dr. Ross Greene, and to buy copies of his books, you can visit his website here. Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

What if the pressure to “get parenting right” is actually coming from your trauma? In this powerful and deeply validating conversation, I sit down with Stephanie Foo, author of What My Bones Know, to unpack what it really means to parent while healing from complex PTSD. Together, we explore the intense fear many trauma survivors carry into parenting; the belief that one wrong move could damage their child forever. We also discuss how modern parenting culture often amplifies that fear instead of easing it. Stephanie shares her personal journey of becoming a mother while navigating C-PTSD, including the anxiety, perfectionism, and overwhelming pressure to control every outcome. This episode is a must listen for anyone who has ever wondered: “Am I messing up my child?” Topics covered in this episode: Why “perfect parenting” is often a trauma responseThe hidden ways parenting advice can prey on vulnerable momsThe difference between child distress and actual harmWhy control doesn’t create safety (and what does instead)How C-PTSD shows up in parenting from hyper-attunement to dissociationThe truth about attachment (hint: you only need to get it right ~30% of the time)The role of repair, not perfection, in raising resilient children About the Guest: Stephanie Foo is the author of the bestselling memoir What My Bones Know, where she chronicles her journey of healing from complex PTSD. Her work has helped bring C-PTSD into mainstream conversation, giving voice to experiences that were long misunderstood or overlooked. To read more about Stephanie, and to buy a copy of her book, you can visit her website here. Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be

What if the deepest wound a child carries isn’t what happened to them, but the feeling that they don’t matter? In this episode, I speak with John Miles, host of the Passion Struck podcast and author of You Matter, Luma, to explore the hidden impact of emotional invisibility, achievement culture, and what it really means for a child to feel seen. John shares his personal journey from high-achieving executive to feeling “invisible” in his own life, and how that experience led him to a deeper mission: helping children and adults reclaim their sense of mattering. Together, we unpack why so many trauma survivors become high achievers, how “good” and compliant kids are often overlooked, and why feeling seen (not just safe or successful) is foundational to healing. This conversation is a must-listen for any parent who wants to break generational cycles and raise children who know, deep down, that they matter. Topics covered in this episode: What it means to “disappear” in your own life and why it happensThe difference between belonging vs. matteringWhy high-achieving environments can actually erase identityHow childhood trauma can lead to achievement-based self-worthThe hidden struggle of quiet, compliant kidsWhy being “easy” doesn’t mean a child is okayThe concept of the "mattering gap"How emotional invisibility impacts long-term mental health Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be To connect with John Miles, click here to visit his website. You can also visit the website You Matter, Luma to buy a copy of his recently released book!

What if the symptoms you’re ashamed of once saved your life? In this powerful and deeply human episode, I sit down with Sally Maslansky, LMFT author of A Brilliant Adaptation and longtime patient of Daniel J. Siegel, to explore dissociation, DID, adoption, attachment, and what it truly means to make sense of your story so your child doesn’t have to carry it. Sally shares her extraordinary journey of living with Dissociative Identity Disorder — and fully healing from it — through relational, attachment-based therapy. We talk about: Why DID is not what movies portray it to beWhat dissociation actually is (and why it’s often brilliant)How parenting can awaken unresolved traumaThe difference between protecting your child from their story… and helping them make sense of itWhy behavior is almost never “bad”How repair transforms parentingAnd why relationships cause harm — but relationships also heal it Sally’s story reminds us that dissociation isn’t pathology, it’s adaptation. And healing doesn’t require perfection — it requires safety, relationship, and the courage to face your own story. This episode is for you if you’ve ever wondered: “Am I broken?”“Why does parenting trigger me?”“Can trauma really heal?”“Is integration actually possible?” Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be Connect with Sally Maslansky, LMFT at her website sallymaslansky.com and check out Sally Maslansky's book A Brilliant Adaptation: How Dissociative Identity Disorder & the Power of the Therapeutic Bond Saved Me

What if the very fact that you’re worried about passing on your trauma means you probably won’t? In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Frank Putnam, one of the world’s leading researchers on child maltreatment, dissociation, and intergenerational trauma, for a profound and deeply hopeful conversation about what really happens to the brain and body after childhood abuse… and what actually breaks the cycle. Dr. Putnam shares insights from his 35+ year longitudinal study following sexually abused girls across generations, along with what he’s learned from decades of clinical work and trauma intervention. We talk about dissociation as a survival response, why trauma accelerates biological aging, and the single most important factor that predicts whether abuse gets passed down. Yes, trauma leaves marks; psychologically, relationally, even biologically. But no, it does not make harm inevitable. In fact, most survivors do not go on to maltreat their children. And the difference often comes down to one powerful act: acknowledging what happened. If you’ve ever felt damaged, polluted, afraid you’re doomed to repeat what you lived through, this episode offers science-backed hope. Topics Covered in This Episode:Why 70% of parents with maltreatment histories do not go on to abuse their childrenThe single most important factor that reduces intergenerational transmission of traumaWhat dissociation actually is (fight, flight… and freeze) and why it can feel calmingWhen dissociation becomes adaptive and when it starts interfering with lifeHow parenting helps children develop integration between emotional “states”What happens biologically after childhood trauma including accelerated puberty, immune disruption, and epigenetic agingWhy trauma survivors often experience autoimmune disorders, chronic illness, or early health declineWhether biological aging from trauma is reversibleThe role of CBT and TF-CBT in healing traumaWhy “self-care is childcare” isn’t cliché; it’s neuroscience Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be You can find Dr. Frank Putnam’s book Old Before Their Time wherever books are sold. His earlier work, The Way We Are, explores personality, state transitions, and integration.

What if stepping away from a harmful family relationship wasn’t an act of betrayal, but an act of healing? In this episode, I’m joined by Eamon Dolan, author of The Power of Parting and longtime book editor, for a deeply honest conversation about childhood abuse, estrangement, boundaries, and what it really means to break generational cycles. Eamon shares his personal journey of growing up with severe psychological and physical abuse, the long road to recognizing how deeply it shaped his inner voice, and the courageous process of setting boundaries with a parent who could not, or would not, change. Together, we explore why estrangement is so often misunderstood, why shame and silence keep so many people trapped, and how anger can be a powerful source of clarity. Topics Covered in This Episode:Why is estrangement from family almost never impulsive, and what usually leads people to that decision?How does childhood abuse create an internal critical voice that follows us into adulthood?Why do shame and isolation keep so many survivors silent about family trauma?How can anger help identify boundaries instead of turning into rage or withdrawal?Is giving parents or relatives feedback about harm an act of disrespect or an act of self-respect?How does becoming a parent change the way survivors understand their own childhood abuse?Why don’t boundaries destroy family relationships and how can they actually protect them?Can choosing distance from harmful family members help ensure our trauma doesn’t get passed on to our children? Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be Connect with Eamon Dolan on Instagram @eamondolan and check out Eamon's new book The Power of Parting

What if the very act of nurturing your child could rewire your traumatized brain? Today I explore how parenting changes your brain with neuroscientist and author Greer Kirshenbaum. As someone who couldn't co-sleep because of my PTSD flashbacks, I was deeply moved by what Greer revealed about the science of parental transformation. We discuss why some parents feel disconnected from their bodies and struggle with physical closeness, yet still can create secure attachments with their babies. Greer shares surprising research about what happens in both parent and baby brains during those early years, and why your perceived "failures" as a parent might actually be completely irrelevant to your child.  We also tackle the tough questions—what if you never learned how to nurture because you weren't nurtured yourself? What if trauma makes traditional bonding advice impossible to follow? This conversation gave me a completely new perspective on my own parenting journey and the healing that happened without me even realizing it. Topics covered on How Parenting Changes Your Brain:What specific brain regions transform when you become a parent, and why can scientists identify parents just by looking at 70-year-old brains?How does parenting change your brain differently for birthing parents versus non-birthing parents?Can nurturing your baby actually heal your own childhood trauma and create the secure attachment you never had?What if you can't co-sleep or struggle with physical touch due to PTSD—are there alternatives that still foster connection?Why do babies in the NICU still recognize their parents, and what simple voice recording technique helped me bond with my medically fragile newborn?If you never received nurturing as a child, how can you learn to parent differently without an internal working model?How does parenting change your brain to see your body differently—why did I finally love my body only after becoming a mother?Why does your baby think you're perfect even when you hate your body or feel like a failure? Connect with me on Instagram @dr.koslowitzpsychology and check out my new book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be For full show notes and more resources visit https://www.drrobynkoslowitz.com/2025/11/12/how-parenting-changes-your-brain-dr-greer-kirshenbaum-explains-the-science-of-healing-trauma-through-nurturing/