Advertise on podcast: Father and Son Days

David's slippers need to be destroyed. Possibly by fire. That's only one of several pressing concerns this week, as Conor worries about being mistaken for a drug-smoking motorist, David discovers a potentially haunted nursery and a perfectly innocent cow emoji causes a breakdown in father-son communication. There's also the small matter of dinosaurs hidden in school lunches, misleading mobile game adverts and a proposed boxing match between Conor and a Scouse comedian that nobody asked for. David sings about being misunderstood, and Dex Blinko takes a dramatic turn involving sentient hair, murderous furry women and some genuinely emotional storytelling. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to Narnia. Please ignore the football conspiracy theories, the dead dog and the man attempting to enter the Olympics as a horse. This week, Conor and David explore the magical world of C. S. Lewis, beginning with the shocking discovery that his middle name was Staples. Naturally, this requires extensive research into office supplies before we can talk about any actual books. Along the way, we investigate whether Vinícius Júnior has been replaced by a body double, discuss the logistical nightmare of building a wardrobe out of wood from another dimension and consider whether a talking beaver has better career prospects than a centaur. David then performs a song in which Aslan works at Greggs, prompting an urgent clarification that absolutely none of it should be taken as historical fact. We finish with a quiz that could quite easily have been sponsored by IKEA. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

David has been replaced by a robot and he's taking it remarkably badly. Before we get to that, though, there's important business to deal with. Somebody has produced enough cat sick to require primary, secondary and tertiary classifications, David would like his life represented by a big rock, Conor wants a house-sized ball of beard hair at his exhibition and a two-foot African giant rat is riding around on a moped dressed as a chef. Then Elton John's kneecaps become jewellery and everything gets considerably worse. We discuss skeleton hands, removable ears, preserved baby teeth, glazed poo, suppositories and which severed body parts would make the best household ornaments before finally confronting the greatest threat facing mankind: Sharkira, the robot vacuum. David insists vacuuming is cathartic, claims robots are stealing his purpose and has written a song about his redundancy. Dex Blinko also returns with the Captain's Winky, a wandering sentient hairpiece, PowerPoint eyeballs and the Sisters Tortellini. Technology was a mistake. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're trapped in a cave. Fortunately, we've brought microphones, a health assessment report and a bat called Steven, so this week's podcast can continue as normal. Conor discovers that two curries probably aren't ideal preparation for a health check, David admits to rocking an empty buggy and we eventually remember that this episode is supposed to be about caves. From there, things deteriorate underground. Wookey Hole has plastic pirates and spare waxwork body parts, David once squeezed through a 19cm gap on a school trip that appears to have had no concept of health and safety, Conor plays laser tag in a Dutch cave and Caveman Dave is trapped underground worrying about his car being parked on yellow lines. Then it's time for Stalagright or Stalagwrong, featuring Nick Knowles' helmet, Beelzebub's hairy ring piece, God's testicles and the Cave of the Masturbating Frogs. Geology has never been so educational. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we discover that Father and Son Days is at the forefront of audio-based time travel and may also be one of the longest-running least-successful podcasts in existence. Guinness World Records, please get in touch. From there, David remembers his illustrious career as a hair model, Conor reveals his primary-school fashion credentials and both seriously consider their options for a return to the industry. David has hands, feet and a distinguished older gentleman aesthetic. Conor has a beard, soft office hands and a willingness to lie on a carpet pretending to be part of the deep shag. Then somebody buys good weather from an Etsy witch for £1.50. We also investigate manifesting, the traditional practice of burying sausages, the logistical problems surrounding a cocktail-sausage mass grave, the potential renaming of West Ham's home as the Scrub Daddy Stadium and what would happen if civilisation finally entrusted important geographical decisions to Dave. And if all of that wasn't enough, Dex Blinko enters the unknown, Tiger cleans up a suspicious puddle, Captain Aria delivers an unexpectedly moving speech and somebody called Captain Massif Turd becomes part of official L.A.M.R.D. history. Perfectly normal episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After bringing together the opening ten chapters of Dex Blinko, we’re back with the next batch — Chapters 11–19, collected into one continuous supercut. As before, Conor and David are still taking turns writing the story one chapter at a time, with neither knowing exactly what the other is going to do next. Which means every new chapter has to deal with whatever problems, characters, revelations or complete nonsense the previous writer has left behind. Originally scattered across the following Talking Rubbish episodes, this bonus episode brings the next part of the story together in one place, making it much easier to catch up without having to search through each episode individually. So whether you’ve been following Dex Blinko from the beginning and need a refresher, or you’ve just finished Chapters 1–10 and want to keep going, this will bring you almost completely up to date. Almost. Because the latest chapter is still waiting for you in the most recent Talking Rubbish. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week we launch our brand-new series about the senses by confidently declaring sight the best one. Which is excellent news for everybody listening to our entirely audio-based podcast. Before the science begins, one cat disappears, another rubs itself against Conor, David prepares to scream if either bites his legs, somebody kicks a box of Lego and a work desk is revealed to contain shower gel, Christmas decorations, a pizza cutter and a kazoo. Then Prince George starting secondary school leads naturally to discreet police presences, David’s school in Basildon, missing knives, compulsory spoons, blancmange, bow-tie soufflés and the possibility that half of David’s year group could have been arrested pre-emptively. Eventually we remember the eyes. We learn about pupils, irises, rods, cones and the surprising visual limitations of Rod Stewart. Conor considers turning a glass eye into a glow-in-the-dark torch, David briefly loses track of both his glasses and a cat, and an innocent conversation about eye colour culminates in the two of us staring directly into one another’s eyes before saying “I love you.” Then comes The Man with the Bionic Eyes and David’s new game Better or Worse, in which increasingly specific animals battle for supremacy using something called the critical flicker fusion rate. Educational? Occasionally. Visible? Absolutely not. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Back on 16th November 2025, we made the questionable decision to start writing a story together. The rules were simple: Conor would write Chapter One, David would continue it with Chapter Two, Conor would have to deal with whatever David had done in Chapter Three, and so on. Neither of us knew where the story was going, what the other person was planning, or quite how ridiculous things would become. The result was Dex Blinko. Originally scattered across the first ten Talking Rubbish episodes, this bonus supercut brings Chapters 1–10 together in one place for the first time. Whether you missed some along the way, can't remember what on Earth was happening, or fancy starting the story from the beginning without listening to ten entire episodes to find it, this is your chance to catch up. Expect spaceships, family problems, questionable medical decisions, increasingly strange characters and two writers repeatedly leaving each other problems to solve. This is only the beginning. Chapters 11 onwards will follow in a future supercut. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

David has survived a hectic day at his new job involving thirty minutes of robot dancing, while Conor has responded to being incredibly busy by Googling his own podcast and buying an unreasonable number of sauces. We discuss bloody cross-country chafing, carbon-dated freezer food and the Heinz Remix machine, before What's in the CREMBAG? turns Conor yellow and sends us down a rabbit hole of unusual beauty standards around the world. Then David discovers a woman who spent years unsuccessfully trying to kill her husband, naturally writes a song about it, and returns with Chapter 20 of Dex Blinko. Just another quiet week. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week’s podcast is being recorded several times simultaneously because apparently one functioning recording is now too much to ask. Conor has backups of the backups, David has installed a tape recorder, somebody is transcribing the transcriber, a photographer has arrived and a woman called Wendy is painting the entire thing from the corner of the room. Despite these precautions, the recording software crashes anyway. Also, before we’ve even reached the topic, a four-year-old has produced a poo so enormous that several members of the family gather around it like they’ve discovered a new archaeological site. David remembers paying £33 for Reading, sleeping in a car after his tent gave up on being a tent and falling into a ditch containing things no human should ever fall into. Conor remembers being ill and sober at Reading, destroying a freshly cleaned Brownstock toilet, lying in the sunshine listening to Hozier at V Festival and being collected afterwards wearing an air freshener around his neck. There are also warm Jaffa Cakes, cooked pizza pockets, Tom Jones singing Sex Bomb, ABBA tribute acts, Oasis disappearing, Woodstock going horribly wrong and the remarkable revelation that Glastonbury once came with free milk. Then David sings The Festival and presents a quiz involving people riding ten-ton logs down mountains, men jumping over newborn babies, monkeys eating 4,000kg of fruit and ice cream, somebody throwing their mum’s ashes at Pink and an appearance from the Wombles. Somewhere underneath all that, there may be a podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We should probably apologise in advance. Within minutes, Conor has discovered a poo the size of a human arm, David has provided three additional toilet stories, somebody has paid £3 to use the wrong loo, Pirates of the Caribbean is being performed during a bowel movement and Conor is enthusiastically reviewing the cleansing properties of a Turkish bidet. From there, things deteriorate. We discuss communal pool water, freedom wees, buffet dangly bits, curry and beetroot, wet cake, Bongo Bingo, volcano-based pineapple art and the strange social ecosystem of an all-inclusive resort. David visits Kent, sees enough gorillas to last a lifetime, repeatedly walks into a doorway and risks his remaining eyesight during an eclipse before informing an elderly stranger that his hole is too big. There's also a song inspired by David's new job and his growing list of questions about children, before our recording software celebrates by deleting the first fifty minutes of the podcast. Luckily, we had a backup. Unluckily, we then read the next chapter of Dex Blinko written by Conor. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We haven’t really seen each other for three weeks, so obviously there is plenty to catch up on. Conor has returned from Turkey with a suspiciously impressive tan, David has returned from Kent with opinions about meal boxes, and somewhere along the way we spend several minutes discussing cookies, sausage and mash, cat-sick curry, frog-shaped tortellini and whether Aldi makes its imitation cereals out of bumholes. Then comes this week’s carefully researched topic: Predators: Plants. Unfortunately, David seems to have researched “plants that can kill you” instead, meaning Conor is forced to repeatedly ask whether a poisonous shrub that sits completely motionless waiting for an idiot to eat it can genuinely be described as a predator. Somehow, this reopens the historic Father and Son Days dispute over hippopotamuses. Along the way, dock leaves lose their entire reason for existing, Little Shop of Horrors somehow explains why Conor stopped eating Shreddies, tumbleweeds turn out to be more interesting than expected, and parsley may or may not get you pregnant. David then performs The Garden of Evil before testing Conor with Flora or Imposter? Or Imposter?, featuring p***y toes, naked ladies, a booby cactus, hairy balls and Sticky Willy. Just another perfectly respectable gardening podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

David is ill, Conor is both in Turkey and sitting in his bedroom, a cat has been accidentally kicked in the head, and there are three entire podcast episodes waiting to be edited. Naturally, we decide this is the perfect time to investigate the international mystery of Tupperware. Before getting there, we learn that thousands of pigeons have been shot at railway stations, windows are apparently one of nature’s greatest predators, and David once tried to impress a girlfriend’s parents by sprinting directly into their closed patio doors. We also discuss deflated dinosaur costumes, Tupperware-adjacent containers, kitchenware pyramid schemes, candles, artificial cow insemination equipment and a monkey discovered in the luggage rack of a London bus. What’s in the CREMBAG? An AI-generated Conor wearing a refrigerator with a neck long enough to access the upper atmosphere. The household security cameras have also stopped warning us about bears, skunks, dark raccoons and gothic badgers because the free trial has expired, leaving David dangerously unprotected when taking out the bins. He responds with The Great Indoors, before Chapter 18 of Dex Blinko kills off a much-loved character, threatens Gabriel and introduces a mysterious space phenomenon that is somehow even darker than Tiger’s personal hygiene. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, David arrives with a sore throat and is immediately rebranded Whispering Dave, while Conor prepares for Turkey by discussing Britain’s increasingly desperate attempts to survive the heat. Lucy’s fan shatters after being dusted, Conor reveals his emergency cooling method involving a damp T-shirt laid across his body, and David recommends the more practical solution of carrying a flannel at all times. Eventually, we make it to ice cream. We discuss seaside memories, oysters, Rossi’s, broken cornets, cones versus tubs, the structural integrity of ice-cream architecture, where ice cream ends and a milkshake begins, and why buying a 99 may now require a small business loan. We also open the completely imaginary Father and Son Daes ice-cream parlour, serving CREMBAG Crunch, Pesto and Red Onion Ripple, Brackish Water Sorbet and Cheesy Breville Swirl. David then performs 99 Ice Creams, but Peach Ain’t One before presenting a quiz involving squid ink, lobster chunks, Mini Cheddars, bacon and egg, insects, raw horse meat and one entirely unnecessary discussion about bear anatomy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Conor is preparing for Turkey with four-pound sliders, fifty pounds’ worth of shorts and the lingering fear that his stomach may declare war at 30,000 feet. His car has failed its MOT, his aquarium filter has died, and David has paid £7.25 for garlic bread served on a piece of wood. Financially, everyone is thriving. David reports back from his boat trip to the Red Sands Forts, where elderly passengers attack the queue, the Thames hides hundreds of wrecks, and a ship containing 1,400 tonnes of unexploded munitions sits alarmingly close to home. We then welcome a new orange-lipped monkey, predict the discovery of the Presidential Tiger and Nottingham’s large-reared hyena, and revisit David’s 24 years of London Marathon ballot rejections. Naturally, he has written a song. Finally, Conor reads Chapter 17 of Dex Blinko, Paper Trail, featuring suspicious family photographs, ancient email technology, Harry Bloomin’ Potter and a mysterious map marked HP. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.